Writer: saveadanceforme

Genre: Fantasy

Parts I read: 5 parts

Beginning thoughts

This did give me more sci-fi than fantasy vibes if I'm being honest

Blurb

The blurb is short yet holds my interest.

Story

The story was easy to follow with a neat premise as 2 characters who have escaped from prison crashed on a secluded planet.

The chapters before 5 I found to be boring with just the character interactions to give some life, however chapter 5 definitely getting interesting.

I like the graphics in the beginning about the planets but would prefer the information to be naturally incorporated in the story instead.

Writing

Your writing is okay, though I would say it does need a quick look through with edits. These are the main issues I could also see so far:

- Redundant words

- The person changes from time to time. You are writing in first person limited yet we seem to know what Astra is feeling at times when Sol won't have much knowledge on.

- Use of modern language did jar me as I read it, but it could be more of preference than an actual issue

Characters

Sol and Astra are nice characters who have a good dynamic and I loved reading their banter. Other than that, I do not know much about them from the 5 chapters I've read so far.

Setting

If there was any description of the world, I don't remember it. To be fair I am feeling tired so it could be that too.

Overall

This definitely has potential, and you are on the right track with your characters. Maybe expand on the world and their development and you should be fine.

Best regards,

Nobody <3