Writer: ipsitalali

Genre: Romance with some action

Parts I read: 5 parts

Beginning thoughts

This is my first ever mafia story I ever read so already that is interesting to me

Blurb

The blurb is fine. It tells me what the story is about, who the main character is and the setting the story takes with mentions of the mafia. Not something that hooks me personally but I can see why others may want to read it.

Story

The story itself is fine and I do like what I have read so far. The only thing I am unsure is the changing between present and past as it does mess the flow a little bit.

The different POVs is something I wasn't a huge fan of either as it's usually better to stick with one POV unless multiple POVs are essential and have prupose

Writing

Your writing is good overall and very readable, although I encountered some things that can be improved on:

- Redundant words or phrases that can be removed

- You changed persons in the beginning from third to first and while I do not think that changes again, it is probably better you stick to one. Though I will say the change wasn't as jarring like in other books, so it wasn't a huge issue for me.

- You have long winded paragraphs that can be broken up

- You have repeated the phrase "Heels clacking against the polished floor" and not sure if I will hear that again but might be better to change it up. Like the echoes of her heels clacking against the wooden floorboards or tiles or something

Characters

While I do love the characters and their dynamics with each other, I do not really know that much about them.

Valeria is a mafia boss (or now former) who absolutely adores her husband, is polite to others and

Alton there is some background after his amnesia, but we aren't usually seeing those interests in the past at the moment. He is also loving to his wife, sounds like the one who normally cooks which is nice to see and is funny.

I have only read 5 chapters so these complaints could just be too soon. I just want more from them.

Setting

There is some description of the world around the characters to get a basic idea but would prefer more.

Overall

I have enjoyed what I've read so far as it's just a cute and atm lighthearted story and will continue to read when I can. As you can see I struggle to compliment stories haha.