Username: miiruex_

Genre: Young-adult Romance

Parts I read: 6 and the prologue

Blurb

I think the blurb is good. I see character's motivation, I see a bit of mystery that may make a reader want to read it, and the theme of ambition and adversity.

Story

I think this story is cute at times and a light-hearted read. I will say while I do think the prologue sets the tone of the book, it is unnecessary in my opinion.

Writing

The writing here was not bad and even had some nice comparisons and writing techniques that was nice to read but was hard to go through at times and made me reread certain lines.

I'll dot point the main issues I can see.

- Dialogue from different characters are in the same paragraph

- Dialogue that was in italics (I did just see your response, but honestly you still don't need to do this)

- The flow of your writing is mainly I did this-then this-then this-and then this. While fast pace can make your book quick to read and easy to follow, there are scenes that can benefit from more (e.g. when Aditya came from his basketball game)

- Writing is very telley with a lack of dialogue

- Your writing style changes from third to first person at times (prologue and basketball beginnings are both parts I can think of)

Characters

While I do not know a whole lot about Radhika, I do like her motivation to become a healer, I love her studious efforts, I like her nice personality. She is just a charm to read about.

Aditya seems like a nice person and passionate about basketball. He also seems to still love his family despite their treatment of him. There are times that he comes across as unrealistic however, for example, when he looks up the basketball thing at the uni despite what happened with him and his dad and then just signing up for the basketball thing with no fear or guilt of what his parents might think, do or say? I know he is passionate with the sport, however, maybe portraying him as a bit more sneaky or at least have him acknowledge that he is going behind his parents back might make him more real and not just an overly positive character.

I do like the friend characters too and do hope for more characterisation on their end.

Setting

There is very little descriptions in the setting, which makes it hard to picture the world around the characters. E.g. Radhika got lost on her first day, maybe describe how big the place is, all the numbers on the doors, all the stairs. Just something for a reader to grab onto.

Overall

I think if you add more to your story, it will definitely be a great read. While I had issues with the writing mainly, there was just something charming and cute to it that I liked, so I didn't hate reading this.

Best regards,

Nobody <3