Writer: _Baby_A_A_

Genre: Romance

Parts I read: 3 including the characters

Beginning Thoughts

This book is giving me Charlie's Angels vibes.

Blurb

Definitely interesting and tells me what the story will be about. Does need a reread though as some parts of the writing itself need editing.

Story

The story itself is okay. Not overly something I'm into, but the premise definitely has potential to be good.

What I will say, is that it's really hard to figure out who the main character/s are supposed to be, since you change povs a lot and suddenly. I think you might be going for third person omniscient, but I think it might be better to stick with third person limited. Maybe Halsa as she can look through the lens of the other girls during their missions. If you want to change povs, maybe stick to a chapter or during a scene break so it's clearer to your reader.

Writing

I found parts of your writing style cute and with some charm to it.

However, it definitely needs edits as there were issues with the writing. I did mention a bit which is something I don't do, but I'll sum them up here too.

1. The tense changes a bit. It's mainly past tense, though you use present tense in other areas

2. Words that don't need to be there (redundant words)

3. Words missing

4. Sentences that could be spaced out to avoid run along sentences

5. Characters that display thoughts are not italicised, that is fine for first person, but your writing is third person so you need to do this

Characters

The characters are okay and distinguishable from each other, though the women particularly do not act their age and profession. Maybe it could be that their childhood was taken from them, but I do not think that concept would be explored here since it is a steamy romance.

Brax on the other hand needs to learn boundaries and not kiss people without their consent. I know he is meant to be a bad boy and criminal, but the kiss was seen as "oh no her first kiss was taken" not "hey don't sexually assault her!" Halsa is seen as innocent, so I guess fair, but the other two have no excuse.

Setting

I do like the bit of descriptions given to set the scene and give me an idea of what is around and what things look like, but honestly, I want more. The descriptions are only enough for me to fill in the blanks, and it would be better for you to describe it all.

Overall

Not the worse I've read, but definitely could be better.

Best regards,

Nobody <3