Writer: pavleklecin

Genre: Thriller

Parts I read: 5 chapters (all of it)

Beginning thoughts

While I am not a thriller reader, I gave this a read since it wasn't in my genres I review/don't review and wanted to be fair.

Blurb

I understand that you are leaving out information for a reason, but I would have liked more information. Where does the story take place? Why is he unsatisfied with his life? Adding more would give the reader more of a reason to want to read and not just for wanting to know what is gonna happen.

Story

I did not mind the story. I think there is some promise here and with some tweaking, it can be a really good story. I will say the sequence of events happen so quickly and janky, slowing the pace down in some areas gives the reader time to rest as well as it can build suspense that is needed for a thriller. I also liked the twist in the end, I feel like other people would have figured it out, but I didn't since I wasn't really focused on any twist and like I said I don't read thrillers.

I also found the story to be too short and could have benefitted for more details and character dynamics.

Writing

Your writing wasn't horrible. While there are issues, it wasn't the worse I've read.

Here are my main issues with it:

1. It is very telly

2. You changed tense a little bit at times

3. run on sentences (just break out some paragraphs. The tip here is if the next sentence is a different topic, new paragraph.)

4. The lack of dialogue made this harder to read too

5. You spelt confrontation wrong in the last chapter heading

Characters

Not gonna lie, I forgot all the character names in this book except for Michael's.

John was an ok protagonist, but because everything is told to us, he just seemed like a character and not a person. And the stuff we do know about him, it doesn't seem to have an effect on him as a character in the present day as we read through his story

Michael is ok, but still not that good.

There was just no dynamics between any of the characters and it's sad because there an attempt at it between John and Michael and probably could have been something between John and his mum, but nothing happens. More dialogue would have helped this.

The killer is just eh, he does have motivation to kill John yes, but other than that he was just a basic murderer

Setting

I know this is probably meant to be set around our time, but still would have liked to know more of the world around John other than his room was messy and other basic descriptors.

Overall

So much potential here to be good

Best regards,

Nobody <3