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Genre: Mystery

Parts I read: 8 parts

Beginning thoughts

This book is definitely giving me crime show vibes like NCIS and Cold Case and I'm here for it.

Blurb

While your blurb does set the scene, who the main character is and the overall tone of the story, I would like a bit more enticement to make me want to read it. Are bigger things coming to Dorn? Are there any stakes? I don't know. Other than that, it was good.

Story

The story is intriguing and easy to follow. I probably like it more because of my love for crime shows, but I'm enjoying it so far.

I'm also liking the twists used and can't wait to read more to figure out the mysteries alongside Dorn.

I will say the twist around the end of part 8 might be hard for certain readers. I do not think personally it is handled poorly, just saying to be mindful of that.

Writing

As someone who has English as a second language, your writing is pretty solid as a whole. I know it might seem that I was being nitpicky, but that's because certain things stand out to me as I read them (wish that would happen when I reread my works but I digress). That and I find pointing out stuff is easier than actually complimenting something I don't know why.

I'll mention the main things I spotted in your writing (some does not happen all the time, just pointing them out):

- Telly writing when it would be better to show the reader things

- Redundant phrases or words

- Punctuation missing or misused

- Sentences that sound like they should be Dorn's thoughts but not italicised

Your writing overall feels like it would better suited in first person in my opinion as it shows some of Dorn's personality through it without the use of internal dialogue. It's just how I feel reading it.

[I'm also gonna put this here, but I'm not sure how I feel about the constant use of German words in the story. I'm just thinking it's constant use might not be realistic with English speaking characters are switching between the two all the time (unless they are in fact speaking in German and you are translating this in English for the reader's sake?). However, I am an English speaker and you of course have a better understanding of the German culture and dialect and of course knowing more than 1 language. Please just take this part with a grain of salt as it could be my bias and whiteness talking.]

Characters

I like Dorn as the main character. He is work driven and reads like a 3D character

Schneider is a fun character who is equally if not more work driven than Dorn.

Arzt to me is funny and love how he is protective of his patients

Eckert is an okay character, just your typical boss with some witty comments

I love the character dynamics and the conversations feel real and at times entertaining, and hopefully I know more about them as the story continues.

Setting

You do give a fair bit of description of the world around the characters, though I would prefer more.

Overall

All "issues" aside, your story is really good and you should be proud of yourself.

Best regards,

Nobody <3