Central Perk, everyone's there.
"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it." I started.
"Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?" Joey asked.
"Oh, yeah!" Phoebe answered.
"Everything you need to know is in that first kiss." Rachel replied.
"Absolutely." Monica carried on.
"Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out." Chandler piped up.
"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket." Ross said.
"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake." Chandler tried.
"Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone." I answered.
"(pause)....Are we still talking about sex?" Joey asked I just nodded. Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Alex, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.
"Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." I started.
"...Then I've already seen this one!" Phoebe exclaims then turns off the TV.
"(taking a drink from Alex) Are you through with that?" Monica asked me.
"Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down." I answered looking at her.
"Whose little ball of paper is this?!" Monica asked the group.
"Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead." Chandler answers. Monica starts to fluff a pillow.
"She'd already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!" Phoebe tries.
"Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have." Monica explained.
"Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow." I answered.
"Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way." Phoebe tries.
"Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come me ether." I tried.
"That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born." Monica explained.
"(looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!" I exclaimed.
"What?" Chandler asked.
"Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!" I answered.
"Eeaagh!" Everyone answered. Rachel enters from her room.
"Has anybody seen my engagement ring?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, it's beautiful." Phoebe answered.
"Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God...." Rachel starts then she starts to look under the couch cushions.
"No, look, don't touch that!" Phoebe tried.
"Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder..." Rachel ranted on.
"Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!" Monica tried.
"Oh! Yeah!" Me and Joey answered.
"Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?" Joey asked.
"Doy! Probably right before she lost it!" Phoebe answered.
"You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days..." I stated.
"I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with..." Rachel started.
"...Dinah?" I asked.
"(looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad..." Rachel said to Monica.
"You didn't." Monica answered,
"Oh, I am sorry..." Rachel carried on.
"I gave you one job!" Monica answers and she starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.
"Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!" Rachel exclaimed.
"Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne..." I answered.
"(puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it." Monica says.
"Boys? We're going in." Chandler says. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Alex answers.
"(standing outside the door).....Hi." Ross said from outside the door.
"Wow. That is not a happy hi." I answered.
"Carol's pregnant." Ross answered,
"(while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!" Phoebe pipes up.
"W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-..." I try.
"Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now." Ross answers. He enters.
"Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?" Chandler asked.
"Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?" I asked him.
"Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me." Ross explained.
"She is so great! I miss her." Phoebe said I just looked at her.
"What does she mean by 'involved'?" I asked.
"I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done." Chandler answered I just walked up to him and slapped the back of his head before walking back to Ross.
"Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow." Ross carried on.
"So what are you gonna do?" Rachel asked.
"I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father." Ross responded. Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him. Central Park, everyone's there.
"Your folks are really that bad, huh?" Joey asked.
"Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done." Ross answers.
"Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours." Monica answered.
"Must pee." Ros exclaimed and goes to pee.
"Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins." Phoebe brought up. I am a year older then Joey luckily.
"You're twins?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type." Phoebe explained.
"What does she do?" Chandler asked.
"She's a waitress." Phoebe answered.
"All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now." Rachel said. We all start to leave.
"Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this." Monica asked.
"Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred." Chandler explained.
"The lights, please.." Rachel said. Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.
"Well? Isn't that amazing?" Ross asked.
"What are we supposed to be seeing here?" Joey asked.
"I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise." Chandler answered.
"You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato." Phoebe said.
"Then don't do that, alright?" Ross asked.
"Okay!" Phoebe said.
"(walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?" Ross asked.
"(welling up) Mm-hmm." Monica answered.
"Wh- are you welling up?" Ross asked.
"No." Monica replied.
"You are, you are welling up." Ross carried on.
"Am not!" She answered. I just looked confused at the screen.
"You are gonna be an aunt." Ross stated.
"(pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!" Monica exclaimed.
"(on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now." Rachel says on the phone making me laugh.