Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. While me and Aston were curled up on the couch.
"I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you." Joey started.
"She barely knows me. We just live in the same building." Ross explained.
"Any contact?" Aston asked.
"She lent me an egg once." Ross answered.
"You're in!" Joey stated making me and Aston laugh.
"Aw, right." Ross stated.
"Hi, Ross." The woman stated.
"Hey." Ross stays as he stutters something incoherent.
"Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian—I don't think we need a third..." I tried.
"Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks." Joey tried.
"An egg?" Ross asked.
"Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, 'Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg.'" Joey answered.
"I think it's winning." Chandler stated.
"I think it's insane." Ross stated.
"She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend." Chandler stated as Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand. We just look at him.
"Think it'll work?" Joey asked us.
"No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg." I stated. Me, Aston, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are still in Central Perk. Ross is still talking to the woman.
"You can not do this." Monica started.
"Do what, do what?" Rachel asked.
"Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night." Monica answered.
"No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?" I asked her.
"Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!" Phoebe stated.
"But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do." Monica said.
"Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?" Rachel asked.
"Well we are going on date nights the next couple nights to make up for not going on dates." Aston stated.
"Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes." Joey stated.
"Oh, uh, listen, about tonight..." Chandler stated.
"No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend." Joey pointed out.
"Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a..." Chandler stated.
"Pathetic mess? I know, but—come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this." Joey stated.
"Hi. She said yes." Ross stated.
"Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?" Chandler asked. Monica and Rachel's apartment, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.
"You're lucky I'm here." I stated.
"Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine." Phoebe stated.
"All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca." Monica said.
"Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man." Phoebe pointed out.
"Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place." Rachel explains.
"Can we just start throwing things in?" Monica asked.
"Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK." Phoebe answered.
"(tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts." Rachel stated.
"Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah." Phoebe said.
"Look what I found looking through my cupboard. Pictures of me and my collage boyfriend." I stated chucking it in.
"Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked." Monica pointed out.
"(looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater." Rachel said.
"No." Monica stated.
"Eww!" We stated looking at the picture.
"And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa." Rachel stated.
"Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure..." Monica stated as Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.
"God dam it Rachel." I stated. Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control. Aston was stood next to me laughing.
"What do we got there?" Fireman one stated.
"A piece of something: boxer shorts, photos, greeting cards, and what looks like a half-charred picture—Wow, that guy's hairier than the Chief!" One of the firemen stated.
"You know, it's a really funny story how this happened." I tried.
"It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control." Fireman 3 stated.
"You're our third call tonight." The man stated.
"Really?" Rachel asked.
"Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year." Fireman 2 stated. Aston lead me to our apartment.