Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Alex, Rachel and Monica.
"Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower." Phoebe stated.
"That's pretty much it." Rodger says.
"Oops!" Phoebe said.
"But you tell it really well, sweetie." Rodger says.
"Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you." Phoebe pointed out,
"Okay. I'll miss you." Rodger said.
"Isn't he great?" Phoebe asked.
"He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much." I stated.
"I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?" Phoebe asked.
"So, you think you'll do it on his couch?" Monica asked making me laugh.
"Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl." Phoebe answered.
"Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?" Rachel asked.
"Oh, yes, could I have one of those." Chandler says as he points to something.
"No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?" Rachel asked.
"Okay." Chandler asked.
"Did I, uh, did I miss something?" Rodger asked.
"No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies." Chandler answered.
"You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?" Ross asked.
"It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts." Chandler answered.
"Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?
"Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts." I said.
"Okay, Alex, I was hoping for more of a change." Rachel said.
"Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies." Chandler stated.
"Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice." Rachel stated.
"Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me." Chandler says.
"You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops." Rodger says making me looking at him.
"Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?" Chandler asked.
"Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance." Rodger explains.
"Huh." Chandler questions confused.
"I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty." Rodger says.
"Uhhuh, how did you know that?" Chandler asked.
"It's textbook." Rodger says Joey enters our dad.
"Hey you guys. Hey, you all know our dad, right?" Joey asked making me turn around.
"Dad?" I questioned standing up.
"Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!" Everyone says but me Joey Aston and Rodger.
"Hey, how long are you in the city?" Monica asked.
"Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger and Aston) I don't know this one.
"Oh, this is my friend Roger." Phoebe stated.
"Hi." Rodger says.
"Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.
"You too, sir." Rodger says.
"(To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?" Dad asked.
"Dad, dad." Joey said shaking his head.
"This is my boyfriend Aston Gellar. Babe this is my dad Joey Tribbiani Sr." I stated.
"Nice to meet you sir." Aston said as dad shakes his hand.
"You too kid." Dad said.
"Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!" Dad says. Chandler stays stonefaced making me laugh. I was in the boy's appartment I was laied on the couch as dad was on the phone.
"Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now." Dad says.
"(Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?" Joey asked making me perk up.
"What do you mean she isn't ma?" I asked Joey as dad nods. It was later in the day I was still sat on the couch as Joey is chopping mushrooms.
"Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician." Dad tried.
"Sure. So how long you been..." Joey tries as he goes back to chopping.
"Remember when you two were little kids, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?" Dad asked.
"Since then?!" I demanded.
"No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe Al. Y'ever been in love?" Dad asked.
"...I d'know." Joey answered.
"I like to think I'm in love." I said.
"Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes." Dad tried.
"You're one to talk." Joey said as he puts the mushrooms in a saucepan.
"Joe Al, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women." Dad tried.
"Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma." Joey stated.
"Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you." Dad stated.
"What's wrong with you dad?" I asked him. We were in the girls apartment Joey is lamenting to everyone about our dad's affair. I was curled up to Aston not saying a word.
"It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!" Joey complained.
"I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?" Rachel asked the man.
"(Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?" Chandler asks her.
"Did you not get a good enough look the other day?" Rachel asked him.
"Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee." Ross says.
"Y'know, I don't see that happening?" Chandler asks Ross.
"C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat." Rachel answers.
"Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'" Chandler says as the door buzzer goes.
"Hello?" I asked over the buzzer.
"(Intercom) It's Phoebe." Phoebe said.
"(Intercom) And Rog." Rodger says.
"C'mon up." I said turning around.
"(Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here." Chandler complains.
"What's the matter with Rog?" I asked him.
"Yeah." Ross said agreeing with me.
"Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy." Chandler explains.
"What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad." Ross says. We were in the apartment. Ross and Roger sitting at the table Ross is upset.
"Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level that that she was a lesbian?" Ross asked as I stood against the wall.
"I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail." Rodger answers.
"Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?" Ross asked.
"I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for
overshadowing a sibling, maybe you..." Rodger starts.
"Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing." Monica stated as Aston perks up from next to me.
"Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the two siblings would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents." Rodger goes on.
"That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for their failures!" Ross tries.
"Oh! So you think we're a failure!" Aston stated.
"Isn't he good?" Phoebe asked.
"No no no, that that's not what I was saying..." Ross tries again.
"Y'know, all these years, we thought you were on our side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!" Monica stated.
"Hey, I married a lesbian to make you  both look good!" Ross stated. We were in the girls apartment Rachel is in tears.
"You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in." Rachel wails.
"That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going." Rodger stated.
"Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?" Phoebe asked.
"Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie..." Rodger stated.
"Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon." Phoebe said.
"You're welcome." Monica says.
"Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love." Rodger says. He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it as I grab one joining them.
"Hate that guy!" Monica says as she throws another cookie. We were in the hallway me, Aston, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.
"Night, you guys." I say as we leave. We notice that a woman is sitting by their door.
"Oh look, it's the woman we ordered." Chandler says.
"Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?" Joey asks.
"Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani." Ronni stated.
"I'm Joey Tribbiani." Joey answeres making me look at her.
"Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?" Ronni asked us. I shook my head.
"Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?" Chandler asked. Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler, dad is not around.
"Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee." Ronni explains as I tap my food.
"Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys." Chandler says.
"That's a good one!" Ronni says as dad enters.
"Hey, Joe Al." Dad says.
"Dad, Ronni's here." Joey states.
"You're mail order bride is here." I say at the same time Chandler and Aston sniggers.
"Huh?" Dad asked.
"Hi." Ronni piped up.
"Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?" Dad asked.
"Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting." Ronni says as she hands dad his hair.
"I am so concerned right now." I whisper to Aston.
"Thank you. Uh..." Dad stated.
"So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?" Chandler asks.
"Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train." Ronni explains.
"I don't want you taking that thing." Dad says.
"Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?" Ronni asks.
"This is our cue to leave." I stated dragging Aston to our apartment. Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.
"Hey, Pheebs." We stated.
"Hey." Phoebe stated.
"How's it going?" I asked her as she sits down.
"Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys." Phoebe stated as Chandler laughs.
"So what's going on?" Phoebe asked.
"Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger." Monica answered.
"I dunno, there's just something about..." Ross tried.
"Basically we just feel that he's..." Chandler tried.
"We hate that guy." I piped up.
"Yeah. Hate him." Everyone agreed.
"We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry." Ross stated.
"Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?" Phoebe asked.
"...No, we hate him." We stated.
"We're sorry." Rachel stated. Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments. As I was sat on the couch trying to avoid it all.
"So you talked to your dad, huh." Monica stated.
"Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today. Joey explained.
"Wow." Rachel stated.
"Are you okay about this baby?" Aston asked.
"I don't know really." I answered looking at him.
"Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain." Chandler tried.
"So Joey Alex, you two okay?" Ross asked the twins.
"Honestly buddy I have no clue." I answered his question.
"Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes." Joey explained.
"Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them." Rachel said.
"Thank god." I stated.
"If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom." Chandler said.
"(entering) Hey." Phoebe stated.
"Hey, Pheebs." We all say.
"How's it going?" Monica asked her.
"Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger." Phoebe said.
"Awww." We all stated.
"Yeah, right." Phoebe stated.
"Aaawwwwww!!" We all stated.
"What happened?" I asked her.
"I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!" Phoebe said. Me and Aston were in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.
"Hey, Joey. What's going on?" I asked him.
"Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green." Joey said as he goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel.
"Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!" Monica shouted.
"Sorry. Wrong boobies." Joey stated.
"What the hell." I stated.