~No matter what happens, some memories can never be replaced.~

Thousands of thoughts raced through her mind, each overpowering the other and demanding her instant attention. She didn't know what to think. What to concentrate on?

Why would he come here?

The first thought that came to her brain was that maybe he wanted her back.

Maybe, he had realized his mistake and now he had come here to apologize. But that didn't make sense. It was his fault. The fault wouldn't be even the proper word. It was his decision. He had chosen her over his wife. He could have stopped that from happening but he didn't.

She would have been screwed in the head for even letting such a thought come to her mind. He didn't want her.

Not now, not then. He made this clear.

It wasn't like he spoke this to her personally but as the saying goes. Actions speak louder than words.

It hurt her bad. It hurt her pride and her heart,. She couldn't get over the fact that she hadn't held any special place in his life. She had believed so. But all her hopes had come crashing down on that fatal day.

She had tried to wear down his effect on her over the years and it seemed that it was working well but now he was here and she found the thick walls that she had created with much difficulty, cracking just a little bit.

The idea of him apologizing to her, begging for her forgiveness crazed and amazed her beyond limits. She felt powerful and stronger in a weird, twisted way. It almost smelt like revenge.

Although his husband had cheated on her, the word Revenge had never crossed her mind. The idea of getting back to him was appealing but childish. And she was not like him.

David apologizing for his faults was just wishful thinking. She knew it.

If she could get over him, she knew that it would be the best revenge. She had a feeling that he wouldn't want to see her happy.

She stared at him closely, observing his every movement. From his well-dressed form to his messy hair to his Rolex watch. He was rich, way richer than her.

She sometimes wondered how did he even manage to get in here without someone calling the media at his mighty presence?

Did people ever change? His richness, his money, his wealth, and his royal presence suffocated her. She felt unworthy like she shouldn't stand here, under the same roof as him. She felt like trash in front of him and she didn't like it one bit. But she was not about to worship his feet like the rest of the world.

He was maybe a star for the world but she had seen him in his worst times. She was there with him when he didn't have a penny in his pocket. It was amazing how people changed as their bank balance increased.

Looked like bank balance was directly proportional to a person's ego.

Would she forgive him if he apologized truly? Would he even apologize?

Maybe yes.

Or maybe no.

How could she accept him even if he said sorry? She didn't think that a sorry would be enough to mend her broken self. She couldn't have faith in him now.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

She shook her head to get rid of the silly thoughts that were invading her mind. If she wanted to believe and live a lie, she obviously could. It was easier to live a life after all than to face the truth.

But she wasn't that weak. She was not a coward. She had always been a fighter and she wouldn't live a lie because she was so scared to face the reality. She was stronger than that.

She shouldn't get her hopes high. And knowing him anyways, he would have probably crumbled her hopes in no time. It would be best if she kept her emotions in check.

But she did not wish to be the sore loser again. It was time for her to get a reality check and live in the real rather than the virtual. No matter what, she would not fall for his tricks again. He could try all he wants but she would firmly stick to her decision and that was final.

Well, that was if he had come here to take her back. But what if he was here to just congratulate her for finally getting over him?

He must have thought that she was stupid for being stuck on him even after five years. It must have been a joke to him. But it had been a battle for her, still was a battle for her.

She felt some part of her heart breaking at the possibility of him being here for the sole purpose of congratulating her ex-wife.

"Hey, how are you?"

His voice was huskier than she last remembered. He had grown a light beard which suited him well and made him look all the way more attractive. He was speaking to her so casually as if they were old friends meeting each other after a long time.

She cleared her throat. "I am good. Quite a surprise to see you here?" She held eye contact with him for a few seconds, trying to appear as calm as he was being.

He observed her from her head to her toe for a moment, "You are looking beautiful." Her heart fluttered at the compliment but she hid her feelings well, not letting the happiness show on her face.

"Thank you; it's my wedding after all. A bride needs to look beautiful."

She couldn't help but be bitter toward him. He was the type of person who just saw the outer beauty and appreciated it but poor her... She realized it way too late. No matter how much ever difficult it was for her to move on, she was finally doing it. She won't miss a chance to rub it in his face now. After all, he had done the same thing with that 'star' chick.

His fists tightened and his jaw clenched the tiniest bit at her reply. Satisfying, very satisfying.

"Oh yeah, the wüss standing there preparing his speech for his honeymoon, you are talking about that møøch right?"

Her left eye twitched. She took in deep breaths to calm her shaking frame. She didn't know why she even felt angered by his reply; it was expected from a person like him.

"Well, yes I am talking about him. I am going to marry him today, anyway. And you know what, maybe he is just average looking, maybe he prepares for a speech, maybe he is shy but what I know is that he won't ever cheat on me, unlike some other people."

Her eyes concentrated on his dark ones. They challenged him to say any further, to argue with her on this.

He couldn't and he wouldn't. She knew it. But she secretly wished him to argue with her on this. Her heart ached at his silence.

All of a sudden, she felt angry, angry at herself, angry at him, angry at this fucked up situation. Her body felt heavy, tired and exhausted.

Why had he cheated on her? Was she not good enough? He had told her so many times before, that he loved her that she was very beautiful and he wouldn't ever think of leaving her.

Should people betray the ones they love? The truth is that she was blind then. She never saw it coming. She believed with all her heart that he loved her to her soul.

It was like a truck had hit her out of nowhere and it had taken the life out of her all at once. She had been so depressed, devastated. She didn't eat, didn't sleep for days.

She clenched her teeth at the thought that she had considered suicide as an option to get over a douchebag like him.

"Well anyways, what are you doing here?" She sucked in a breath with gritted teeth, trying her best to stop the waterfalls. She was not showing him weakness or vulnerability. A swift change in the topic might help.

"Do you really think that I had cheated on you?" He took just the tiniest step closer to her, fixing her at her stop with his intense gaze. His eyes spoke volumes of things that he must want to say. They almost had a desperate look in them. The worst thing was that she wanted to believe him, she so wanted to believe him.

She wanted to believe that it was all a lie and he hadn't cheated on her. She wanted to trust him again. She wanted to go back to him, go back to the past and relive it skipping that day. She wanted his arms around her back, holding her tightly, soothing her. She wanted his love back. She wanted to love him back. She wanted to trust him with every word his eyes were saying to her.

But, she couldn't.

She couldn't let the walls that she had created around her heart over the years be destroyed again. She didn't wish her heart to be stolen out from her chest again and then be returned to her in the worst condition later.

She was not ready to give second chances, neither to him nor to herself. She was scared. She had already lost everything and she was afraid she had nothing else left to lose.

She was broken in so many ways that she considered herself unfixable. She couldn't afford to answer him. Her throat tightened and her chest ached.

And as a way to decline the request, his eyes were making to her, she moved her eyes away from his, declining him, answering him.

"Past is past. It's gone and it can't be changed now. Whether you cheated or not doesn't matter now." She gulped her own saliva, her heart aching.

"I am marrying Henry today and I am taking a huge step towards my new future. I hope you are here to wish me a better future. And there is a request for you, although I don't expect you to fulfil it. You already had moved on, I had seen it. Just don't break any more hearts." She spoke in a small voice; her head bent down, not meeting his eyes.

"Just give me one answer and I will be gone."

She looked up suddenly at his scorching eyes, searching for any type of emotion in them. What question did he want her to answer?

It should have been the reverse. She was the one with the questions. She wanted to know why he had done what he had done.

Why was she not enough for her? Was her love not enough? Does she need some more fucking sexiness?

Suddenly, he stepped close to her, very close. She moved her head up to come face to face with a solid chest clad in a grey three-piece suit. She could smell his perfume. That intoxicating fragrance used to drive her crazy. The same fragrance, sweet yet manly. She so wanted to sniff a huge breath in to take it all in. Mustering all her self-control, she resisted the urge to just do that.

The close proximity was driving her crazy. It had been a long time since they had been this close since she had been close to any male. It was getting to her head and she felt dizzy. She needed to speak something or she would probably faint.

"David, I have no idea what you are doing here today. I am over you. I had last five years to think about you, about us. And I really did think about us, about what you did, about all the things that happened. But, to be honest, I came out with just one answer; if you would have loved me you wouldn't have cheated on me. The day you cheated on me, I knew you never loved me." She blabbered, looking anywhere but at him. He didn't make any move to get any closer and that she was thankful for. He stood still. It was so silent that one could have actually heard a pin drop.

She wanted him to speak, something, anything. Who was she kidding? She still wanted him to disagree with her, to tell her that all that happened was a lie. He loved her, he must have loved her.

She had seen the love in his eyes then. How could he not? She held back the tears which are threatening to fall any time now, struggling with all her might to reserve the crying session for later.

"Okay fine, if that's what you think, I can't change that. I just want you to be honest with me now." He gazed into her eyes with such-a-ferocious intensity that as much as she wanted to break their eye contact, she just found herself unable to do it.

Her heart beat fastened as he took an infinitesimal step closer to her. They were chest to face now. Her nose was practically touching the second button of his suit. His closeness was distracting her from anything and everything. She tried to step away but his right hand reached up to enclose her, stopping her from stepping aside. She stepped towards the left but his other hand came by her other side on the wall.

She didn't meet his gaze as she looked southwards on the ground. The pattern of the tiles suddenly became much more interesting. It looked like a thousand spiders were crawling if you kept staring at it for a long time. Why couldn't the ground open and swallow her up? Then, she would not have to be here, with him.

"Look at me." She tried to stop herself from looking at him. But it was a command and not a request. She couldn't resist it even if she wanted to.

She found her eyes travelling to meet his dark ones and for a moment she felt a tiny spark between them. Everything had paused, stilled just for a second.

Her heart stood still as she was entranced by the beauty in front of him. He really was entrancing and addicting.

She could see so many emotions conflicting in his eyes that she wanted to comfort him somehow. It was a mess. His eyes showed longing. Longing for what? For her? He looked at her desperately. She could see forgiveness, regret, lust and love. She gasped and broke eye contact with him.

"David, I think you should leave now. It's my wedding today. Do you get it?! It is my wedding! Someone would be here in no time and then it would be a bad impression on them about me. What would they think of me when they find out that you are in my bedroom? Please, David, I think-"

His hand came up to her mouth; his palm silencing her and making a little shock pass through her entire body. His hand was large and calloused as she last remembers.

*~*~*~*~*

"Davie, Davie leave me! What if someone comes?" She hits his shoulder playfully, trying to wrestle out of his tight hold.

"No one will come." He whispers in her ear and then winks at her.

"Davie, this is a public place! And I will be your wife in no more than two hours. Then we can do all this." She points a finger at him and then at herself, moving it in between them repeatedly.

"Ahaa...What do you plan to do for me? Christ! You have a dirty mind!" He widens his eyes and blows hot air just below her earlobe. She shivers as his warm breath touches her cool skin.

"By the way, I also have some dirty thoughts to share. Want to hear them?" He whispers seductively in her ears, biting her earlobe lightly.

"Hey, you! Bad boy! I don't want to hear them. I plan on wearing granny panties on our honeymoon." She winks at him, expecting him to throw a fit for being a killjoy.

"Doesn't matter baby! Whatever you wear is coming off as soon as the doors are locked." He fixes her with a gaze full of lust and hunger. She writhes under his intense gaze.

"You are shameless!" She exclaims dramatically, throwing her hands up.

"Only for you." He murmurs softly, making her hot and bothered.

She pushes herself away from him and lands on her legs on the ground. She runs in the opposite direction but just after taking two steps, she is pushed to the wall, his hands on either side of her, enclosing her.

"Where do you think you are going?" He whispers huskily, giving her an evil smirk.

"I am going to your mom. I will tell her what you are saying to me. She would be very happy to see her son becoming a pervert" She smiles the fakest, sweetest smile she could and then pushes his chest. But to her utter disappointment, he doesn't even budge the tiniest bit.

"Your baby hits don't affect me, Raine. Don't you see this? Pure muscle." He flexes a little muscle in his biceps and then smiles at her arrogantly. Show off! She huffs, getting irritated now.

"Davie let me go! Please...I need to get ready for our own wedding. And you too have to get ready!" She tries the puppy dog pout.

"Mmm...Let me think. What if we have a deal?" He smiles evilly at her. She eyes him cautiously, trying to guess what's going on in his mind, knowing well that he is up to no good.

"Davie, I swear to god if you don't let me go this instant, I would scream!" She mutters angrily. A girl needs her time to get ready. She wants to look good at her own wedding, which her dear fiancé is not allowing her to.

"A little taste of your lips would be heaven for me, Miss Raine Parker. Can I have the honour of kissing you, my lady?" He speaks dramatically, looking at her with amused eyes.

She folds her hands on her chest. "Well, you leave me with no option. SAVE ME! SOMEONE HELP! HEL-" His hand clamps her mouth shut and he walks her up to the washroom just in time as someone enters her room.

*~*~*~*~*~*

His hands felt the same, familiar and comforting. She looked up into his eyes and then her eyes went down to his mouth. Pink, fluffy and kissable.

Well, she was in deep trouble.

**********

Oh and don't follow me blindly, my head gets lost somewhere between the legs of some... JUST JOKING! (or maybe not)

I love you, yes you!

-FastAndDeep