| 67 |

| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |

At night, when I make sure my parents are asleep, I slip into Castle's room.

He's awake and sitting on his bed. William is sleeping outside on the couch, giving us the very needed privacy. I step into Castle's room and close the door behind me, locking it.

He looks up at me, and instantly pain flashes across his features.

I dart towards him without another thought, climbing onto his lap and putting my arms around him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think this would happen. I should've listened to you and got rid of that stupid fucking phone way before."

"Please don't leave me." He pleads, sounding like he is on the verge of crying.

I tighten my arms around him, squeezing my eyes shut. "I wish I didn't. I really wish I could do something to get myself out of this. But there's nothing. I really wish there was something I could do."

He shakes his head. "I don't think...I don't think I can do this without you, Holly."

A pained sigh escapes my mouth. I run my hand through his hair before sliding down and gripping his nape, pulling him closer to me.

We remain like that for a long time, with me straddling his body and our arms around each other. I wish I could remain like this forever. I wish I could rewind time and do everything right just so I don't have to hurt Castle further.

I pull away from our embrace, placing my hands on his face to make him meet my eyes. "You're the strongest person I know."

He shakes his head, but I stop him.

"You are. You've been going through shit since you were a child, and you still manage to be so amazing." I look at his eyes, his face, etching every tiny detail to memory. "You're going to be fine without me. You're going to get better and continue life the way Camille wanted you to. We're going to see each other after three months and we're going to tell my dad about us so that nothing and no one can come between us again."

"I feel like I'm going to disappear the moment you leave." He whispers.

My heart clenches, the way it's been doing this whole week. "You won't. You'll still have my dad and my mom and William."

"But I won't have you." He grasps my wrist.

"You're not alone," I repeat.

His eyes fall shut right after I spot the tears that appear in them. He leans into me, resting his forehead against mine.

"Maybe I should do something illegal too so I can come with you." He says after a moment, surprising me with his words.

A small smile spreads across my face. "Now you're starting to think like me. What illegal act do you have in mind?"

"Lighting Maddy on fire."

My eyes light up with pleasant shock. "Oh? And why?"

"Because of her, you're going to go away."

"Look at you being all dark and revengeful." I cup Castle's face to peck his lips. "We should cut off her hair too."

"Shave her eyebrows." He adds.

"Break her teeth."

"Punch her face."

"Kick her in the guts."

"Steal her things."

"Scratch her eyes."

"Kill her!" Castle's voice rises with determination.

I burst out laughing. "Slow down. We want you in the school with me, not prison."

He gives me a small sheepish look.

"Good to know you'd kill a person just to be with me though." I smile.

He sighs. "Everything's so messed up right now."

I give out the same sigh. "I know. Kinda wish we could run away like how Sean did."

"You heard from him?" He questions.

"I warned him not to contact me."

He grimaces. "It might...it might not have been a good idea to let him go—just saying."

I shrug, shaking my head. "I have no idea. I just couldn't bear the thought of him being in prison after he went through so much. We don't have to talk about him right now though." I softly run my fingers against Castle's pale tear-stained cheekbones. "I'm glad you're finally talking again."

"I won't be after you leave."

"You will. You will be healing. You'll be coming to terms with your loss. You're still going to be the person Camille's so proud of."

Tears fill his eyes again at the mention of his mom's name. "Why is everyone leaving suddenly?"

Sadness wears my face. My finger runs absent patterns on Castle's shoulder.

"It's going to kill me being there away from you," I murmur, imagining how it's going to be there for three months, all locked up. "But there's nothing I can do to change it. So the only option we have is to go through it and get it done with."

A small furrow appears between Castle's forehead, showing his unhappiness, but slowly, he takes my hand in his, fiddling with the tips of my fingers. "...then we're going to see each other again and nothing will come between us?"

"Nothing," I say with confidence.

He looks at me with longing in his eyes and I don't know who moves first, but now our mouths are on each other's and our tongues tangle. The kiss is slow, long and sweet. It's a kiss of promise. My hands rake through his hair and he grips my waist.

I lean over so that Castle's back falls to the bed, with me on top of him. Pulling away from the kiss, I stare at his face before reaching down and pressing soft kisses on his cheeks, tasting the saltiness of his dried tears.

"Don't become a bigger dumbass while I'm gone," I whisper, bringing my mouth down his neck.

"Don't let your face sag without your Botox." He whispers back, gripping the sheets beneath him.

I clamp my teeth down on his neck, making him yelp. Chuckling, I lick the spot to soothe my bite.

It takes seconds for us to undress each other. I run my hands over Castle's chest, feeling his skin beneath mine, while he softly rubs circles with his thumbs on my hips. We remain this way for a long time, just feeling each other.

"I want to see you sour and bitchy when I come back," I whisper to him, leaning down to press a kiss on one of his scars.

He doesn't respond to me, looking down in thought. "Are we...are we going to do it?"

I smile at him, shaking my head. "Not yet." Because then it'll feel like a goodbye. And it's not. Plus, I can't have sex with Castle while he's hurting.

A hint of embarrassment enters his eyes at being rejected. I chuckle and kiss his lips. "After I come back," I promise. "We're going to have so much sex, you're going to beg me to let you go."

Colour rises in his cheeks, but he doesn't break my stare, bringing his mouth up to kiss me back.

The whole night we spend touching each other, feeling each other's skin and talking about random things until we eventually fall asleep. We didn't want to. We tried our best to stay awake and spend the last night together, but sleep is inevitable.

Like how tomorrow is.

I really hope three months won't change anything between Castle and me. I really hope he's strong enough to still wake up every day and face it. I really hope I'm strong enough to remain calm and patient during my time there. Because I think I'm going to go insane.

★・・・・・・★

We have only 6 more chapters left to go! I'm so excited to get this book over with!

Words: 1,200

Date of publishing: 16th August