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| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |

After what seems like hours of running, I finally find him. I ran to his house first to find him gone and the door was left open. He wouldn't pick up his phone and wouldn't answer my texts. I searched for the nearest hospital and by luck I found him.

"Castle!" I yell the moment my eyes land on him.

He's sitting all alone on a chair in the hallways. From a distance, I can hear his cries and notice his shoulders are slightly shaking. His head snaps up at my voice and my pace quickens when I see the tears running down his face.

Anger flashes on his face when his eyes meet mine but that anger crumbles away when more tears flood his eyes.

I skid to a stop in front of him. My chest heaves and aches as I throw my arms around him, pulling him towards me.

"I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so fucking sorry." I choke out. He hides his face, his head burying into my stomach as he just cries. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "Where is she?"

He shakes his head, his arms coming around me.

He continues crying in my arms while I just stand there, trying my best to hold myself together as I hold him. I can't start crying now. I need to be strong for him.

I can't believe it. Camille...she's gone. I thought she had a few more months left. I thought we still had more time with her.

Tears prick my eyes but I force myself to get it together. I tighten my arms around Castle, my heart shattering when his cries get louder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Castle."

I don't know how to fix this. I don't know what to do. I wish his pain was something physical that I could take care of. I tightly squeeze my eyes shut but in the end, there's no use. A tear slips from my eye, sliding down my cheek.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

A long time passes before Castle finally calms down and stops crying. His eyes are puffy and his face red. I sit beside him as we wait for my parents to get here. They finally picked up their phone and are on their way.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" Castle's rough demand startles me. "You said you'd be there in ten minutes."

Oh fuck.

I can't lie to him. Even if I don't want to burden him further, I can't lie to him.

"Castle." I start softly. "Let's talk about that later—"

"Tell me, now." He demands. "You were on your way and suddenly you don't answer any of my texts and calls."

"Castle, please, I don't want you to—"

"Tell me, Holly." He cuts me off, giving me a stern look.

A sigh escapes my mouth. "I was at Sean's—"

His head whips towards me. His eyes widen as if he got betrayed.

"Just listen to me!" I quickly put my hands up in defence.

The look in his eyes doesn't go away but he doesn't say anything, waiting for me to speak. This is one of the things I love about Castle – he's always ready to listen to me first before making judgements or decisions.

With a deep breath, I tell him everything.

I tell him about Sean. His story. His call. I tell him about how I found his parent's dead bodies and how I helped him bury them and let him escape.

The whole time, my heart beats faster. It feels wrong telling Castle everything about Sean. But now Sean is gone, and I can't ruin my relationship with Castle by lying to him about where I was. Especially not right now.

Knowing Castle, he'd rather I tell him the whole truth than give him some half-assed answer just because I think he can't handle it right now.

When I'm done speaking, I nearly tear up again but force myself to contain myself.

Castle stares off into empty space with a blank look on his face as he takes in my every word. He remains still for a long time, and I know he's thinking about something. He's slumped back into the chair as if he has no energy anymore.

For a long time, he doesn't say anything and just stares off into emptiness.

Then he curses under his breath. Closing his eyes, he mutters. "Fuck, I can't think about this right now."

"You don't have to," I murmur.

"You seriously helped him hide his parents dead bodies?" He stares at me.

I nod, biting my bottom lip.

A frown comes on his face as he thinks it over.

He shakes his head, sighing. "This is even a shitter night for you."

"Don't say that." My hand comes on top of his.

He stares at my hand. His jaw tightens and untightens. He blows out a long breath from his mouth. "I wanna be angry with you right now. So angry. You have no idea what went through my mind when you didn't answer my phone for three hours and mom was dying right in my fucking arms."

My gaze lowers to the ground. "I...I'm sorry. I don't know what I should've done but I'm so fucking sorry. I ran to find you the moment I checked my phone—"

His other hand comes on top of mine that's holding his hand. He shakes his head, tears glossing over his eyes. "Stop. Stop that. Don't say sorry and make me lash out. I don't want to do that to you."

"Castle, it's alright—"

"It's not." He cuts me off. "I can't be mad at you. I don't wanna be mad. I don't want to feel like this at all." He grips his heart. "It hurts, Holly. It hurt so much. I wanna be mad at you but I also—need you." His voice cracks at the end. He squeezes his eyes shut against the tears.

"Castle," I whisper.

"Please don't leave me." He chokes out.

I tighten my hand around his. "I'm not."

His eyes squeeze tighter as if he's fighting another wave of tears. But then, he opens them, shaking his head. "I can't do this. I can't—" A sob erupts from his mouth. His hands come up to his face as tears pour out of his eyes.

My heart clenches and I bring my arm around his neck, pulling his head to my chest and hugging him. My fingers rake through his hair. My other hand runs up and down his back. I don't know what to say to him, but fuck, watching him like this is tearing me in half.

Camille is inside the hospital room, lying on the bed. Her heart was already really weak, and it decided to just stop beating tonight. William is curled up beside her, refusing to move even an inch.

Castle's cries get louder and my chest pangs. My own eyes prick with tears again. My hand continues rubbing his back. "I'm here. I'm here now." I murmur to him. "I'm so sorry I couldn't come when you called. But I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

Right then, my parents come running into the hallway. They call out our names and rush toward us. Castle looks up and before he can say a word, Dad pulls him up and crushes him into a tight hug.

For some reason, that makes Castle cry harder.

"I'm so sorry, son." Dad rubs his back. "I'm so sorry. We're here for you, alright? You're not alone. You're never alone as long as you have us."

Castle doesn't say anything and instead just falls apart in my Dad's arms.

"Where is she?" Mom whispers to me, grief lining her eyes.

I gesture with my head toward the door, and she walks inside to pay her respects.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Camille's funeral is held a week later. It was the smallest funeral I've ever attended with just me, Castle, Dad, Mom, and William.

The whole week Castle barely said anything. Barely ate. Barely moved. Dad decided it would be good for him to live with us till he's feeling better. Castle has his own room in our house now with a few clothes and things from his house.

Every night, I sneak into his room and slide into his bed to hold him. Sometimes, he wouldn't react to me at all. Other times, he would put his face on my neck and cry.

It's hard – no, devasting – watching him like this. He barely makes a sound, barely lifts his head or meets anyone's eyes. The only times I've seen him move by himself is when William is curled on his lap, and he pets his head. William never leaves Castle's side. He too stopped eating properly or jumping around.

Standing in front of Camille's small fragile body, Castle doesn't show any emotion. He reaches forward and takes her hand in his. He holds it for about thirty minutes, not showing any signs of letting go.

I look at Camille lying inside her funeral casket and a deep pang of pain hits my chest. I can't even imagine what Castle's feeling.

Hours pass by and finally, the time to seal the casket comes. The silence in the car after is loud and suffocating. Castle has his eyes closed and his head resting back against the seat. Dad is driving silently while Mom sits tensely beside him.

I don't know what to do or say. I want to help Castle so badly, but anytime I open my mouth, I feel like I'm going to say something wrong.

At home, we have a quiet meal when Dad finally clears his throat, gripping his fork. "You know if you ever need anything, you can tell us." He looks at Castle.

Castle gives a nod, barely touching his food. "Thank you." He says, quietly.

Dad opens his mouth again but is cut off when his phone starts ringing on the table. He takes a look at the screen and sighs.

"It's from your school." He tells me. "Probably calling to ask why you have been skipping this whole week."

He excuses himself from the table and walks towards the living room, picking up the call.

I look back at Castle. His eyes are shrunk and void. There are eyebags under his eyes and his face is gloomy and pale. His cheekbones are sharper from avoiding food this whole week.

Looking at him gives my heart a clenching pain. I want to help him so badly. I want to take his sadness away even if it means having to hurt someone. I've already tested how far I can go to keep Castle happy. But this time, it feels as if no matter what I do, I can't help him. I feel frustrated. Angry. And so fucking terrible.

Dad comes back to the kitchen. I don't pay attention to him, still staring at Castle. That's why I don't notice the serious expression on his face until he calls my name.

"Holly?"

I look up at him.

He frowns at me. "Why is your principal saying that you're expelled from school?"

★・・・・・・★

I just love drama. And making my readers suffer. People who read Jake's Kennedy would know ;)

The real heartache is about to start now, but DON'T WORRY, a happy ending is due.

Words: 1,800

Date of publishing: 16th August 2023