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| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |

I lock the door to my bedroom once Castle is safely and securely inside. We both breathe out collective breaths of relief when we don't hear any signs of Dad.

"Let's hope he doesn't suddenly decide to gain inhuman hearing power and come up," I say.

Castle nods, his hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie. His eyes fall on my laptop on my bed where my movie is paused.

"What were you watching?" He asks.

"Just another drama," I respond, walking over to my bed and flopping down. I pat the spot beside me, gesturing for him to come over.

He walks over with a hint of rigidness to his back and sits down beside me, leaning against the headboard. I press play on the movie.

He furrows his eyebrows. "What language is that?"

"Portuguese," I respond.

He looks at me. "You know Portuguese?"

"I know five languages," I state.

His eyes widen. "What?"

"You didn't know that?" I blink at him.

"No."

"Really?" I question.

He looks at me with disbelief.

"I can't believe we've been dating for three months, and you didn't know I speak five languages!"

"What languages?"

"Portuguese. Italian. Chinese. Spanish. German."

He gapes at me before shaking his head. "You're lying."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not."

"Where did you learn five languages from?"

"Since birth. My parents wanted me to learn so I had classes till Middle School."

He's still staring at me in shock. "You seriously know five languages?"

"Yup."

He blows out a breath. "That's crazy."

I shrug, pressing play on the movie again.

"How the fuck am I supposed to understand this?" Castle shoots me a look.

"Oh right." I go ahead and turn on the English subtitles.

After that, we comfortably settle on my bed, watching the show in silence. Like always, Castle's eyes are transfixed on the screen as if he's watching a show for the first time in his life. His knees are pulled up to his chest with his arms around his legs.

When he texted me, my heart nearly jumped. I had no idea why he wanted to come over. I still have no idea. He isn't saying anything, and now he probably won't with the show going on. Maybe he just wanted to hang out?

A tiny part of me hoped he wanted to come over to replay last night again when we're both not drunk. Maybe that was a bit ahead of me to hope for. I tried my best to make sure that he told me the truth if he regretted anything last night.

I'm glad we both have the same regrets about being drunk.

Trying to seem casual, I raise my arms above my head and lightly stretch, flashing Castle a smile. "I thought you couldn't have enough of me and came here to replay last night." I hope I really did seem casual as I say that.

His head snaps towards me. For a moment, he doesn't say anything. Then he brings up his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking nervous.

He clears his throat. "Your head's always in the gutter."

"I can't help it when you're around me."

His hands come to the drawstrings of his hoodie, before he averts his eyes from me, looking back at the screen.

He glances at me once before quickly looking away again.

There's silence between us as Castle stares at the screen again. I might've thought he's entranced again but his hands are still playing with the drawstrings. Whenever Castle watches something, he completely stops moving as if he's in a fucking coma. Sometimes I have to pat him to make sure he's still alive.

I know he's thinking something right now, and I desperately want to know what.

Moments pass between us when I finally hear him mumble.

"I...I did actually."

"Hmm?" I turn to look at him.

He takes a look at my face then immediately shakes his head. "Nothing."

"What?"

He shakes his head again.

"Say it."

"It's nothing." He looks back at the screen.

My mouth is still gaping open though, staring at Caste in disbelief. Did he actually say that? Did he seriously confess that he came here to replay last night?

Without thinking, I reach over and pull him into my arms, giving him a big hug. He gives me a confused look as he slowly returns the hug.

"Why...am I getting this?" He asks.

"Because you're such a dumbass," I respond, pulling away. "You know you can come to me for anything, and I'll always be here for you."

"Yeah, I know that."

"So if suppose you're feeling particularly horny one night and you can't sleep because you can't stop fantasizing about my amazing body then I'm always here to help you fall asleep...and also to sleep."

"Of course you are." He shakes his head at me, his lips twitching up the slightest.

"So?" I look at him. "You came here to replay last night?"

A grimace comes on his face. "I didn't—that does not mean I came here only for that reason. I mean I couldn't stop thinking, then I wondered and I just—I don't know."

"Castle."

His nervous eyes come on me.

"Did you come here to replay last night?"

"Holly, that's not—"

"Yes. Or. No."

He clamps his mouth shut.

His eyes roam over my face, his fingers fiddling with his drawstrings. Quietly, he murmurs. "Yes."

Without another word, I slide my legs over his thighs, pulling myself on his lap. His eyes widen and his fingers freeze.

I gather my hair in one hand, getting comfortable on his lap. "Tell me to stop and I stop." That's all I say before flinging my hair behind my back and crushing my lips to his.

His surprised noise slips into my mouth as my hands come on his face, holding him still as I devour him. My tongue rapidly strokes against his, trying to etch the taste of him into my mind. His hands fly to my waist as if he's holding onto me.

He struggles to get into sync with me for a few seconds but when he does, jets of pleasure shoot through me. I take his bottom lip between my teeth, biting and sucking on it. He softly groans into my mouth.

I pull away, looking at his flushed face, softly running my thumbs across his smooth cheekbones.

"No drinks. No regrets." I whisper against his mouth.

A gulp goes down his throat as he looks into my eyes.

"We-We're not doing that, are we?" He hesitates.

"Doing what?"

"Have...sex?" He whispers that word so low as if my dad is going to barge in and throttle him.

I tilt my head. "What do you want to do then?"

He must've not expected my question because he looks like he got caught off guard. "I...um..."

"Go on." I urge him.

"I...I just wanna feel you, I guess." He mumbles, nervously.

My eyes do a long rake across his face. I lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips. "Then we're gonna do that."

His eyes are wide and waiting as he stares at me. I can't help but lose my breath as I take in the colour of his eyes, the darkness of his soft lips, the narrow high cheekbones and the way his dark hair frames his face.

Beautiful. This boy is so beautiful. So precious.

And all mine.

My fingers move over his mouth, tracing the shape of his lips. I can get addicted to these and never regret a thing.

Not being able to resist anymore, I close my mouth over his, feeling the moment his breath escapes into my mouth as I pull him deep into the kiss.

Desire takes over me and before I know it, my tongue strokes against his desperately. My hands grip the fabric of his hoodie between my fists. I can feel the fast thrum of his heartbeat underneath my hands.

Pulling back, I gaze at him.

His lips are red and swollen. His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. I raise my hand and take his glasses, sliding them off his face, and putting them aside on my nightstand. With nothing guarding his face, he looks even more innocent. Something sinister crawls over me the more I stare at him.

"Do you trust me?"

"W-What?"

"Do you trust me, Castle?"

He gives me a wary look. "Why...?"

"Yes or no?"

"I do."

"Then take this off." I fist the hem of his hoodie.

His eyes widen. "What?"

"I want to see you, Castle, and when you feel me, I don't want anything to be between us."

Uncertainty enters his eyes. "I...Holly, there's nothing special under my clothes—"

"Don't say that." I cut him off in warning. "Don't degrade yourself."

"You might not like—"

"I do like, Castle." I interrupt. "I know I'm gonna like because it's you and there's no part of you that I don't like," I say then add. "Even when you're a bitch to me."

At that, the corners of his lips tug up the tiniest bit.

Uncertainty enters his eyes again and he grasps my hand that's fisting his hoodie. "I'm serious. You might not like what you see." I open my mouth but he quickly cuts me off. "Not because I'm feeling insecure or something. There's just too many—"

"I saw them." I blurt.

He blinks. "What?"

"Last night. When I spotted a scar on your arm, you took off your hoodie for a minute to show me the rest of them."

His eyes widen.

"You don't remember?" I ask.

"I didn't know if it was a dream or a real memory."

"I saw them," I state. "And if you think those are going to put me off then you're dead wrong."

He bites his lip. "They're ugly."

I shake my head. "Nothing about you is ugly. You'll have to trust me on that."

He gives me a hesitant look. His eyes look for some sort of comfort on my face. So I make sure to give him as much reassurance as he needs.

After a while, he nods slowly, not saying a word.

Before reaching for his hoodie, I press a long comforting kiss on his lips before taking the hem. My eyes never leave his as I slowly slide it up his body, over his head and along his arms.

For a moment, I'm caught off guard again by the number of scars on his torso. My eyes land on the locket on the middle of his chest that I gave him for his birthday. Fuck. He looks hot wearing that.

Castle remains frozen, barely breathing. He must be having second thoughts because he starts squirming as if he wants to hide himself. Before he can, I slowly reach forward and place a kiss right above a scar on his chest.

He inhales sharply.

"You think these are going to put me off?" I move to the side and press another kiss, drawing out another breath from him.

"These scars that show me how strong you are." I inch lower, kissing another one. "You think these are ugly?"

Slowly, I inch my way down. "You're dead wrong." Another kiss. "So wrong."

I kiss every part of his skin possible. He remains unmoving the whole time. I can feel his eyes on me as his hands lightly grip my sheets on either side of him.

I speak between my kisses, my voice low but firm. "You don't have to hide from me. Ever."

I glance up at him and nearly widen my eyes when I see the softness on his face as he looks down at me. He looks calm. Soothed. As if something in his brain shut down, blocking his insecurities and nervousness.

I lean up again and press my lips to his. He returns the kiss without any hesitation, his shoulders relaxing as the kiss prolongs.

Pulling back, I flash him an excited smile. "My turn," I say, then grab the hem of my t-shirt and pull it over my head.

Castle sucks in a breath as I slide my arms out of my t-shirt, letting it drop beside me. Cool air hits my skin and my body craves the warmth of Castle's body.

His eyes are wide as his gaze rakes over me. He immediately snaps his eyes back to my face as if he's doing something wrong. The tips of his ears are bright red.

"You can stare." I chuckle. "I don't mind." Not at all.

A gulp goes down his throat, but he doesn't look down.

"Not gonna call me gorgeous and beautiful this time?" I smirk.

"I don't need to." He whispers.

My smirk softens.

I reach forward and press my lips to his again. Fuck. I really can get addicted to these. I already am. His warm lips open up to me immediately and I slip my tongue in, tangling it with his. A sweet jolt goes down my body as our naked skins press against each other. My hands grip his sharp bare shoulders and his hands reluctantly come on my exposed waist. With the way I kiss him, I nearly consume him.

Without breaking our kiss, I pull his shoulders to the side. Leaning my weight on him. His back falls onto my bed with me on top. My core settles on his crotch where I feel the beginning of a growing swell.

Kissing his lips one last time, I move my mouth down his throat. His chest. His stomach. Kissing and biting every place possible. When I near his growing hard-on, a soft groan escapes Castle's lips. I look at the dent poking through his sweatpants, raking my gaze back to his face.

He looks nervous yet equally aroused.

"Want me to take care of this for you?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything for a moment.

"You trust me, right?"

He nods.

"Then lie back and relax," I assure him.

He thinks again before slowly giving me a nod.

I look back at his hard-on and my stomach squeezes with a low thrum of excitement. I reach for the band of Castle's sweatpants.

I look back at his face again for another confirmation. He's not looking at me though, he's staring at my hands in nervousness, anticipation and arousal.

His eyes slide to mine when he notices I'm not moving ahead.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

He nods. "Do it."

My body doesn't need any other instruction. My fingers hook into the band of his sweatpants and slowly slide them down along with his boxers. Castle releases a soft breath as he lies completely naked in front of me.

My mouth goes dry at the sight of him. He wasn't big-big, but fuck, he isn't lacking either. My stomach rolls with arousal and need as I stare at him. The things I wanna do to this guy...Fuck. How does this guy think he isn't hot? I'm so fucking turned on just at the sight of him naked.

Just to get a reaction, I blow cold air onto his erection. He squirms, releasing a soft sound.

"Ready?" I whisper.

His mouth opens but so words come out. Instead, he gives me a single nod. His hands are in tight fists as he remains on his elbows to look down at me. There's a tightness to his eyebrows as he waits for my next move. Despite being aroused, he looks tense.

"Hey." I catch his attention, giving him a reassuring smile. "Just relax, okay? It's going to feel really good."

He gives me a stiff nod, not saying anything. I get comfortable on his thighs, slowly wrapping my fingers around his length. I want to make him feel so good tonight. I want him to relax and enjoy this as much as I'm going to do.

My mouth leans down. Then sliding my tongue out, I drag it slowly from the base to his tip. His hands fly to grip my sheets, as a small whimper escapes his mouth. He then looks at me in shock as if he didn't expect that reaction to come from him.

I do the same on the other side of him, earning the same reaction.

"Tell me to stop and I stop." Is all I say before my mouth takes him in. He gasps.

My mouth moves up and down on him, slowly and leisurely, wanting him to feel every long stroke of my tongue and the way I suck him. His eyes flutter shut, no doubt the sensation hitting him. I slide my mouth off his dick before sucking him back in. His head falls back onto my bed. He grips the sheets beneath him as he whimpers and squirms under my hands.

My mouth works efficiently, sucking and dragging my tongue across places that draw out the softest moans and whimpers. My hand squeezes around his base, earning a breathless cry from him.

My clit starts throbbing at the sounds he makes, slowly coming undone by my hands and mouth. I never knew having Castle squirm beneath me would turn me the fuck on. I go down on him slow and long, dragging it out to give him as much pleasure as possible. In return, my stomach clenches with equal need and pleasure.

It doesn't take him long before I feel him twitch in my mouth. A cry escapes his lips, and he quickly clamps a hand over them. His body shudders as he comes right into my mouth.

I slide my mouth off him and lean over my bed to spit out his load into the bin. For some reason, I don't like the idea of swallowing.

Moving back onto the bed, I look at Castle as he lays there with his eyes closed. His chest heaves softly as he tries to catch his breath. He lays there for several seconds before slowly opening his eyes and meeting mine.

"Good?" I ask.

He nods.

"Amazing?"

He nods again.

"Best experience of your fucking life?"

He turns his head away from me. "Shut up, Holly."

I grin before crawling towards him, placing a knee on either side. He looks at me and his eyes widen when he realizes that I'm slowly sliding up his thighs.

"What? You thought it was over already?" I raise an eyebrow.

Wariness appears on his face but there's no mistaking the way his eyes glaze with lust as I straddle him, placing both my hands over his stomach. He watches me with curiosity and anticipation.

I roll my hips and I swear to God, his eyes almost roll to the back of his head.

"Holly." He gasps out. Almost immediately, a swell nudges against the entrance of my center.

All that's there in between are the fabric of my leggings and underwear. What I'd do to get those things out of the way and take him right here and now. Fuck. I need him so badly.

"I'm here," I say and roll my hips again. This time he squeezes his eyes shut, cursing under his breath. "Put your hands on me. Didn't you want to feel me?"

His hands shakily come up to my waist. I move my hips again and feel his hands tighten on my skin.

"Want me to go faster?" I ask.

He nods, almost desperately. His face is a mixture of delight and ecstasy. His hips are unknowingly writhing underneath mine, his body wanting more friction, more movement.

"Look at you." My tone is teasing. "Squirming and panting under me."

He stares at me through heavy-lidded eyes. His chest heaves up and down unsteadily. It's mesmerizing to watch him on my bed. His dark hair falls back on my sheets. The beginning of light-coloured love bites marks his neck, jaw, chest and stomach.

I roll my hips again, slowly, wanting to capture his reaction. He stares up at me in astonishment. A breath escapes his mouth that I want to catch, so I lean down and cover his mouth with mine. An erotic kind of delicacy rolls over me as I lap my tongue over his mouth, tasting every corner, every part. At the same time, my hips pick up the pace, making him gasp softly into my mouth. I brace my hands on either side of him.

Grinding down on him, I try to satisfy the aching need throbbing down there. Our kiss gets sloppy and messy when neither of us can remain steady the more I increase my pace. Both of us are panting, trying to muffle our moans. I bound up and down on Castle. Sliding and grinding, making him cry out. His hands squeeze my waist. He tries to hold onto me.

"Holly." He squeezes his eyes shut, arching his neck back.

"You really know which sounds to make to drive me crazy." I breathe out, feeling the muscles of my lower back tightening in anticipation.

It's harder to keep quiet the more we near our release. My eyes never leave Castle, watching him in awe and desire the whole time. The way he throws his head back. Bites his lip. Clenches his jaw. Squeezes his eyes shut. Fuck. He's an addiction himself.

I want to rip off my leggings and underwear so bad and take him right now. I want to feel skin against skin and cover him with my heat, making him moan louder.

At the same time, I don't want to overwhelm him too much. I know intimacy isn't easy for him. So fuck, if he asks me to never touch him again, I'll never touch him. Even though it'll torture the fuck out of me.

Wanting more, I bring my finger over my clit, rubbing it in circles, adding to the pressure tightening at the base of my spine. A quiet cry escapes my mouth as my body tingles everywhere. Castle watches the whole thing. Arousal clouds his eyes, and he can't stop squirming.

It doesn't take too long before he abruptly cries out. His fingers dig into my skin. I muffle his cry with my lips, kissing him throughout his release as he trembles beneath me.

A beat later, I follow suit. My eyes fall shut, and my arms nearly lose all the energy to hold myself up.

I lean back from Castle to look at his face. We're both panting heavily from our release. Our warm breaths mix in the air between us. His eyes are glazed and droopy as if he just received a really good scalp massage.

Something enters my chest. Something intrusive. Warm. Overwhelming. Some kind of...feeling. It squeezes my heart to the point where my chest hurts the more I stare at him.

A soft smile spreads across my face. I lean down and place my head on his chest, snuggling against him like we've done countless times before, but clothed.

"We should go and clean up but I'm drowsy," I murmur.

His arms come around me. I can hear his erratic heartbeat against his chest as he blows out a steady breath to collect himself.

"If you wanna do this again, I'm always free," I inform him.

Surprise catches me when he lets out a breathy chuckle. "I know."

"We can do it all day. Every day. You name it."

He tightens his arms around me. "I think we should clean up. It feels...sticky."

A tired sigh comes out of my mouth. "Yeah."

Letting him use the bathroom first, I go in next and change into another pair of sweatpants. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm still without a t-shirt, wearing only my bra.

I contemplate whether to put it on or not.

Nah.

I walk out of the bathroom to see Castle sitting on my bed, fully dressed back into his hoodie and sweatpants. His eyes land on me and a blush rises to his face when he takes in my half-naked self.

"You're staying?" I question, as I get into bed.

He shrugs. "Mom said not to come home until sunrise."

I furrow my eyebrows before shrugging and patting the spot beside me.

He gets under the covers, and I waste no time, wrapping myself around him like my own personal stuffed toy, nuzzling my head into his chest. His arms come around me, almost hesitatingly at first to touch my skin.

Eventually, he gets comfortable and pulls me closer to him.

Just like that, we fall asleep.

★・・・・・・★

The real thing is yet to come ;)

For some reason I don't like the idea of blowjobs. Whenever BJs come when I'm reading other books, I skip the whole scene. Something about them has me uncomfortable. What do you people think?

Words: 4,000

Date of publishing: 12th August 2023