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| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |

Castle is horrible at fighting.

Dad's teaching him the basics of how to throw a punch, kick someone in the stomach, and how to elbow someone in the face.

So far Castle has only managed to hurt himself.

"Come on, man! Hurt me!" Dad cheers on him, standing with his face jutted out in Castle's direction. Castle looks hesitant, his fists loosely curled.

He goes to drive his fist in Dad's direction but before that can happen, Dad brings up his hand and blocks him. In a blink, Dad flips him around and pins Castle's arm behind his back.

"Too slow," he says.

Castle sighs as Dad releases him. He massages his shoulder, looking weary. "How do you keep blocking me?"

"I can see what you're going to do seconds before you move," Dad replies. "It's all about taking your opponent off guard."   

Castle nods, preparing to throw another punch.

By the time, they're doing that, I'm inside in the kitchen, wrapping up Castle's gift with Mom and Camille.

I couldn't find a gift in time, but Mom and Camille bought one this morning and decided to give it as a family gift.

After wrapping the gift, Mom hands it to me. "Go give it to him."

"Me?" I raise my eyebrows.

She nods.

"But you both bought this," I say.

"Oh, who cares?" Camille waves her hand. "It's a family gift. Go give to him."

They both stare at me with meaningful eyes. Confusion envelopes me at their stares but I shrug, carrying the box to the living room where Dad's sitting on Castle's back and shouting at him to try and break free.

Castle's face is turning purple with Dad's weight.

Holly to the rescue!

"Look what we got you!" I announce, holding up the present.

"Ooo your gift!" Dad jumps up, tugging Castle along with him.

Castle heaves in a breath, wiping his forehead as if he fought a war.

I hold out the gift to Castle and he hesitates.

"For me?" he asks, nervously.

"No, for me. Dummy. Yes, it's for you," I say.

He takes the gift from me, looking awkward.

"Open it." Dad urges.

Castle takes his time to open the gift, taking off one tape after the other.

Getting impatient, I tell him to just rip the wrapping off. He doesn't listen to me though. He makes sure there isn't a single tear as he opens the gift.

When the wrapping is finally off, he takes out the box.

He looks inside and a look of confusion comes on his face. "A glass ball?"

"Yup. There's a remote inside," I say.

He takes out the remote and the "glass ball". He presses a button on the remote and a hundred colorful lights fill the living room.

"Woah!" Castle almost drops the ball from his hand.

He looks around in amazement, his eyes wide. Lights in the shape of stars, the moon, the sun and dolphins dance around in various colours.

Dad runs to close the lights to get a better experience.

Once the lights are closed, it's like we're plunged into some kind of fairyland. At least that's how it looks when I look at Castle's face. He turns around in his place, looking at the lights.

I gently take the remote from him and press another button. The lights change to blue-green and purple projecting the northern lights on the ceiling. Castle looks up, his mouth hanging open.

I press another button and this time the colour changes to a calm light blue. The blue ripples in waves around the room as if we're standing right under the sea, where the water sparkles like diamonds.   

"Pretty cool, isn't it?" I grin.

Castle can't close his mouth. The lights glint in his eyes and for a moment, I can't look away. The whole thing is fake but looking at him makes me feel as if we're actually standing under the sea. There's wonder and amazement in his eyes and in that moment I want to do everything I can to recreate that look every chance I get.

"It's amazing." He breathes out.

I press the 'off' button and the lights snap shut. Dad flicks on the living room lights and Castle and I both flinch from the sudden brightness.

"Here." I put the remote and the ball back into the box, handing it to Castle.

He takes it from me, looking unsure. "Is it really for me?"

"Yup. Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday." Dad sings, putting his arm around Castle, and pulling him into a hug.

A smile comes on Castle's face as he returns the hug.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

| 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐗𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐄 |

A sigh of weariness escapes my mouth when William comes back again.

I'm trying to cook something, but he clearly wants my attention. He keeps circling my legs, rubbing his body against my calf.

"Not now, Will," I say. "I'm at the stove. I'll finish as soon as possible."

He ignores me, running his nose on my jeans.

The sun is close to setting and Holly is going to be here soon. I remember her once telling me that she likes some kind of crunchy sausage and chicken puff wraps. After all that her family did for my birthday yesterday, I wanted to make them something in return.

William barks when I don't look down at him.

"Mom!" I call out. "Can you take William?"

No response.

I guess she went to sleep. She's getting weaker day by day.

Another sigh comes out of my mouth. I turn off the stove for a while before bending down and scooping up my little furry dog. He wiggles happily in my arms.

I walk towards the couch, and sit down, placing him on my lap. He jumps at me, his tongue rolling out of his mouth. I scratch his head and he pushes his head onto my chest, snuggling into me.

"You need to let me work. Holly is going to be here anytime."

His body wiggles in excitement at the mention of Holly's name.

"Yes. Holly." I scratch his ears. He jumps and licks my face. "Will!" I shout, swiping a hand over my face. "I told you not the face!"

He doesn't calm down though. He's fully energized, jumping in my lap. Maybe I need to take him outside.

"I'll take you outside after I'm done making those wraps, alright?"

He places his paw on my stomach.

I pet his head for a while before picking him up and placing him down. I stand up to move towards the kitchen and nearly face-plant onto the floor when I almost trip over Will who clings to my leg.

"Will." I scold. "Let me go."

He rubs his face into my jeans.

The doorbell rings.

A groan comes out of my mouth. "See. She came. I didn't even finish frying the stuff."

William barks, running towards the door. I narrow my eyes as I look at him.

I walk towards the door and open it. "Before you come in—" I look up and freeze.

"Hello, son." Father smiles at me.

My eyes widen. Immediate panic grips my chest and I have no idea if my heart stopped beating or if it's racing.

His eyes are clear and blue, his face sharp and clean. It was never like that when he lived with us.

"Won't you let me in?" He tilts his head.

My legs are rooted to the ground, refusing to move. Someone has my throat in a chokehold. I can't speak. I can't think. Fear has my body paralyzed.

Push him out.

Shut the door in his face.

Tell him to fuck off.

My mouth doesn't open. My body doesn't move.

A bark startles me out of my trance. I look down to see William staring up at Father. He must've sensed the change in me that's why he's looking at Father with a wrinkled nose. Father looks down at him. A distasteful expression comes on his face.

"Let me in." He says, this time with a firmness to his tone.

I stare at him.

My hands curl into fists and I look down, stepping aside.

He walks inside, satisfied.

William is looking up at me, confused. I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head. I close the door and turn around to follow Father into the living room.

He stands in the middle, looking around, before turning to face me.

He looks me up and down, assessing me as if there's something different about me than last time. He meets my eyes, then smiles again. "Happy birthday."

A jolt of surprise goes through me. I didn't think he'd remember. Even though it's a day late. He must've read the expression on my face. I hate that my face is an open book.

"I was here yesterday, but you and your mom weren't."

Oh.

He takes another look around the house. Something catches his attention because he starts sniffing the air.

He looks at me. "Were you making something?"

I hesitate before nodding.

He turns around to walk into the kitchen. William remains by my feet, constant sounds of growling and snarling coming from his mouth.

I follow father into the kitchen. He's looking at the arrangement of bowls and pans on the stove and counter.

He furrows his eyebrows as he looks at them. "Are you expecting someone?"

I don't want to answer him, but he'll know immediately if I lie. So I nod.

"Who?"

"A...a friend."

"A friend?" He questions.

I nod again.

He tilts his head at me, observing my face.

"Hmm." Is all he says after a while.

He looks back at the food. A wince comes on his face. "What are you doing, Castle? Cooking? Seriously?"

I stare at him in confusion.

He waves his hand around to indicate the kitchen. "This—this isn't what you're supposed to do. Where is all the guy stuff? Where are your trophies? Your medals? A jersey or something? Ethan has so many. We needed to build a whole new ass room to fit all his achievements."

I look down at his shoes. The shiny black boots he's wearing are like a slap to the face to remind me how he just up and left for money.

"You're eighteen now. Do you have any future plans? Have you yet figured out a place to stay when your mom dies?"

"Why are you so concerned?" I mumble, frowning.

His eyes sharpen. "What?"

I clamp my mouth shut.

Fuck you, Holly.    

Father stares at me before a hard look comes on his face. "We both know that you and your mom don't want me back into your lives. So don't pretend like you're angry because I left. That's not an excuse to disregard your life."

I almost scoff. Is he serious?

William barks again, earning an annoyed look from Father.

"That dog of yours will die first if you don't get your shit together."

He doesn't know anything. I don't need to tell him my plans. I just want him out. I want him to leave.

"You're in this situation because of your own choices. If you and your mom didn't show such strong hate towards me, I would've stayed. I would've changed in time. You would've grown up to be a man. A real man. Not some pathetic wimp doing house chores."

His words are like bullets hitting me right in the chest. Each word from his mouth sounds so fucking wrong. But then...

Pathetic wimp.

Those words keep ringing in my head. I'm not a football star like he wants. I'm scared of people outside. I'm not confident or even secure in my own body. I can't charm people or even hold a proper conversation.

Pathetic wimp.

I can't stop bullies because I'm fucking scared of what they might do next. I let Joshua and Justin knock me out and lock me in the school freezer for two hours because I was terrified of what they might ruin if I stopped them.

Scared. Pathetic. Freak. Loser.

No. No. My eyes squeeze shut. I'm more than that. 

You should be proud of yourself for the person you are right now. Holly's voice flashes in my head. While a grown-ass man ran away because of some problem, you stayed by your mom's side facing the same problem. Who is the better person in that case?

Like a train, every one of her words run through my head.

When everyone saw me as someone pathetic, she was the one who fought to try to understand me. She never judged me for who I am. She didn't see any of my incapabilities as weaknesses.

When everyone saw me as a loser, she was the one who found me worthy. She made me realize my worth. She made me realize my importance. She made me realize that I'm still breathing.

I'm not drowning. I'm not numb. I'm not dead.

"Get out of my house," I whisper.

He raises his eyebrows, not catching what I said. "What?"

My legs tremble violently. I look up at him, trying to calm the fear clawing up my throat. "I...I said...get out of my house."

A look of surprise comes on his face before his expression turns cold. "Your house, huh?"

Weak. Loser. Pathetic.

I shake my head, trying to quieten those voices.

"Yes. Get out."

He stares at me.

"Please?" I add.

William barks as if he understands what's going on and he's supporting me.   

Father looks at me. I know that look. He's given me the same too many times.

"Let me tell you how this goes Castle." He opens his mouth, a sharp look on his face. "What happens to boys who disrespect their fathers?" He asks. "They get slapped. In worst cases, they're left homeless."

"You're not my father."

"What?"

I shake my head. "You can't be called a father." I know what a father looks like. Elias is a father. The one in front of me is not.

"Castle. Stop bullshitting."

My hands quake like an earthquake and I fist them to hide it. "Get out of my house."

"Your house." He scoffs with a laugh as if he finds it ridiculous.

"Yes. My house." I've looked after this house for years. I've taken care of the people in this house. I've made sure that it's still standing and we're all having peaceful sleep with our stomachs full.

An angry look crosses his face that almost makes me flinch.

He marches towards me and my body automatically cowers, shrinking into itself. My face flares as if expecting the sting from his slap.

William starts barking, standing between him and me. He gets in the way of Father's approach towards me. Father almost steps over his little body.

"This wretched thing." He grumbles before he kicks William away with his boot.

A gasp leaves my mouth. "Will—"

Father slaps me across the face. The surprise of it catches me off guard that I nearly go flying across the floor. My cheek burns and water fills my eyes.

"Have you looked at yourself?" He demands as he fists my shirt, pulling me towards him. "Talking as if you're some man." He backhands me. My head snaps to the side. "Don't you ever talk to me like that ever agai—"

William launches himself. He clamps his teeth into Father's leg, making him yell. Father jerks his leg, trying to get him off.

William's hold loosens for a bit. He barks, jumping with his teeth snapping toward Father's legs.

I can see the anger in Father's eyes as he tries to get rid of Will. He's yelling at him to fuck off, but Will doesn't waver. He doesn't even hesitate before launching himself and attacking.

I'm still regaining control over my mind from the slap. My skin burns like hell and my eyes are watery.

Will snarls as he bites Father's leg again. When he pulls away there's blood coating his mouth and teeth.

Father's eyes flash and I know he's going to do something. My body is on autopilot, jumping to snatch Will away from him but I'm too late.   

"You stupid fucking dog!" Father shouts before he grabs William by the neck and hurls him aside.

He hits the wall.

"Will!" I shout, horrified.

His barks cease to tiny whimpers as he slides down the wall. He tries to move but a howl of pain escapes his mouth.

"Will!" I run towards him, crouching down. Anxiousness messes with my mind. "Will." My hands hover over his body, afraid to touch him as if I'm going to hurt him further.

Behind me, Father curses as he nurses his bleeding leg. "Fucking shitty thing."

William whimpers, licking his front right leg. He curls into himself, looking small and scared.

Anger and pain roll over me like a boulder. I let William get hurt. I let him hurt us once more. Even after promising myself so many times, I let him into this house.

"Bloody animal, I'm going to—"

"Get out of my house!" I scream.

He turns his angry eyes on me. "Don't you dare—"

"Last chance," I warn, even if I don't know what I'll do. "Get out."

He stares at me with hard eyes. I don't know if he sees the fierceness in my face or a shaking pathetic mess on the floor looking up at him with hatred.

He glares at me, clenching his jaw. "Next time when I come, I'm going to kill that shit. Mark my words, Castle."

With that, he turns around, limping his way out of the kitchen.

My body shakes as if I'm a leaf clutching onto a tree in the storm. I turn back towards Will and tears fill my eyes when I look at him.

"I'm sorry." My chest aches. Tears slide down my face. "I'm so sorry." I reach toward him. Gently, I take him in my arms, careful not to touch the leg he was licking. I hold him to my chest.

If I hold him close enough, he'll understand that I really am sorry. "I'm so sorry." More tears slide down my face. "I won't let it happen again. I promise."

He makes a sound that I don't understand. He licks my neck, my jaw, and my chest as if he's reassuring me too. I hold him tighter, squeezing my eyes shut.

That's when I hear the door open again. My body tenses up and alarm pricks my skin.

He's back.

He's not done yet.

I almost scream at him to leave me alone when I hear her.

"Mama Camille! Your favourite daughter is here! Castle, you dumbshit! I'm gonna kick your ass! Why did you—" She appears at the doorway of the kitchen and halts. She takes in William and I huddled in the corner.

Her eyes widen. "What happened?"

I stare at her.

Her eyes move to my face before looking at William curled in my arms.

"What happened?" She demands, marching towards me.

Will lights up at the sight of her, but he doesn't jump toward her like he always does.

Holly crouches down in front of me. Confusion and worry envelopes her expression. She looks at my face and I don't care if it's red with the slaps Father gave me, or how miserable I look with tears wetting my face and neck.

Her confusion grows as she assesses me but there's also protectiveness burning in her eyes.

"Castle." She places her hand on my shoulder. "What happened?"

I try to calm my breath. William squirms in my arms. "He...he came back."

Holly scrunches her eyebrows. "Your father?"

I nod.

A furious look comes on her face. "When?" She demands.

"H-he just left."

"What did he do?"

Panic rushes through me. "Holly. William. His leg. I don't know—Father threw him to the wall. He can't move."

"Let's go to the vet." She says immediately, wasting no second to question more.

★・・・・・・★

Let's have a cheer for Castle who at least TRIED to stand up and defend this time! *CHEERS*

I wanna talk about my favourite quote from this chapter and that is:
"Elias is a father. The one in front of me is not."
This shows how Castle realizes his father was never like a father figure and that he sees Elias as a father figure.
I just love when characters find parental figures in other people who have no relation to them.

I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm still trying to catch up with the new school and it's just so exhausting. I hate it 😭

The new update schedule is every weekend. I'm gonna try my best to post 2-3 new chapters every Saturday or Sunday.

Have a great day!

Words: 3,300

Date of publishing: 28th May 2023