| 35 |

| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |

I'm standing outside the school gate when Castle walks out. He clearly wasn't expecting to see me there earlier than him, because when he walks out, he yelps at the sight of me directly beside him.

"Jesus, Holly." He clutches his heart, breathing out.

"Sorry," I mumble.

He adjusts the straps of his bag over his shoulders and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

He takes one look at my face and figures out something's wrong.

He furrows his eyebrows. "What happened?" His eyes widen slightly in realization. "Oh right, Mrs. Julie called you. Did you get into trouble?"

"I got the results."

His eyebrows shoot up in shock. "What—Really?"

I nod.

"Well?" He urges me, an anticipated look on his face. "Did you pass?"

"I..." I bite my bottom lip.

He furrows his eyebrows. "What? You what?"

I fiddle with my fingers. "I haven't seen them yet."

He frowns. "Seriously?"

I groan, putting my face in my hands. "I don't know. I'm acting like such a coward. I finally had the courage but then it just threw itself out the window."

"Take a look now?" He asks.

I give a reluctant nod.

I pull off my bag from one shoulder and unzip it, pulling out the papers. Adjusting my bag back on my shoulders, I look at the papers in front of me.

I mentally encourage myself to just flip the damn thing and get it over with.

I almost do it.

Nearly.

"You look first!" I thrust the papers at Castle's chest.

He catches it and holds it to his chest before the papers go flying to the ground. His eyes are wide. "Me?"

I nod. "Yeah, you."

"Holly, we both know, that between you and me, you're the least coward."

"It's not your grade, you don't have to feel like a coward," I reply.

"No, but I tutored you and you wrote the tests according to the knowledge that I gave you. So technically, this is my grade too."

"Yeah," I sigh, "You're right."

We both remain silent for a while.

"Wanna look at it together?" He suggests.

I nod. "That'll be better."

He takes in a preparatory breath. "Okay. At the count of three?"

I nod, standing beside him as he holds the papers out in front of him.

"Three."

We both count.

"Two."

He starts turning the pages. My pulse quickens.

"One!"

He flips the page around.

I half expect something to jump from the pages and attack me head-on. My body's tense and jittering, anyone can think I'm preparing myself for a fight.

Castle and my gaze fall on the first grade that marks the paper. We remain silent as he slides one paper behind the others, taking a look at the next page...and the next...and the next...and the next...until we've looked at every page.

Even after looking at the grades, we cross-check and flip through the pages again and again. I'm not sure we're even breathing right now.

We finally lift our heads to look at each other.

"I passed." I breathe out.

"You did." He nods, relief lighting his eyes.

"I passed," I say once more as if I need my ears to hear it to believe it. "I passed!" In the next second, I'm in Castle's arms with my hands around his neck and he's lifting me, twirling me around. The action surprises me so much that a laugh escapes my lips.

"I passed!" I squeal.

He sets me down but doesn't let go of me immediately. Instead, we hug briefly. When he pulls away, there's a grin spread across his face that makes pride and joy burst in my chest.

My shoulders finally feel like they can relax but I'm too hyper with excitement to relax any inch of my body. "I can't believe this! I got a B in nearly every subject!"

"I told you, you could do this," Castle says. 

My grin is so wide it hurts my face. "All thanks to you, tutor." I nudge his arm with my fist. "This calls for a celebration! I can't wait to get home to Mom and Dad!"

The smile Castle wears is full of happiness and pride. The fact that I caused that look to appear on his face makes me even happier.

My tone softens when I say, "I couldn't have done it without you."

He nods. "Oh, I know."

I laugh.

"Let's go home!" I say, practically running, excitement coursing through my body.

Castle follows after me, a smile of amusement on his face.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Mom and Dad were pleased as fuck. For two whole minutes, I was swept into hugs and words of congrats. Getting a B probably isn't a big deal to other people, but to me, it's a million times better than failing.

It's not just that. Those B's secured my place as the captain of the Cheer Team, saved my dignity and caused that cute as fuck reaction out of Castle.

When he lifted and twirled me around, I felt like I was on cloud nine. And the way his eyes shone with pride—pride that I gave him. I didn't fail him. I didn't waste his efforts. I didn't waste his time. Just thinking about that makes my chest swell with joy.

Castle couldn't stay for long when he dropped me home. He only stayed until I delivered the news to my parents and then headed back home saying he needed to do something with his mom.

When I walk up to my room, I'm still buzzing and jumpy from today's excitement. The smile I'm wearing never seems to leave my face.

I open the door to my room—and freeze.

"Sean?" My smile drops completely.

Sean's sitting at my desk chair, his back relaxed against it, and one ankle resting over the other knee. He's holding something in his hands.

My results.

"Congratulations, Captain." He says when I hesitatingly step into the room. He flips through the pages one by one, taking a look at all of them.

"Are you crazy?" I hiss, shutting the door of my bedroom and locking it. "Dad might've been walking up with me to see me to bed. What if he saw you?"

Sean doesn't look bothered. He looks up at me from the papers.

"So when is the big celebration happening?"

"Of the results?"

He slowly stands up from the chair, rising up to his full height, which is pretty damn tall. Deliberately, he walks towards me.

"When's the big party?"

I frown. "I don't think I'm gonna host one."

He raises an eyebrow in surprise. "No?"

I haven't even thought about that. When I said celebration earlier, I meant just Mom, Dad, Castle, Camille and William.

"You got something this amazing and you don't wanna party?" Sean tilts his head at me. "That doesn't sound like you, Holly."

It doesn't.

I host parties for every reason, or for no reason. If I can't host one, then I go to one. I take a moment to realize that it didn't even occur to me to go out with other people.

I shrug. "I guess it's not that appealing to celebrate with people who wanted you to fail."

He stops walking until he's directly in front of me. His chest brushes mine. I have to crane my neck up to look at him.

He's peering down at me as if he's studying me.

"What?" I demand.

"You're changing."

I raise my eyebrows. "Changing?"

"You don't hang out much anymore, you stopped me from dropping you home after school, and you're hesitating to fuck me." He looks angry now.

"I've been busy." That's both the truth and a lie.

"No." He shakes his head, his tone accusive. "It's that tutor of yours."

Anger flashes in Sean's eyes and before I know it, he pushes me. A gasp escapes my lips as my back hits the wall behind me. In an instant, Sean's body is pressing into me, forcing me to remain trapped.

I hiss. "What the fuck are you—"

"It's Castle, isn't it?" He demands.

"It's none of your business." I snap, trying to push him away, but he has both my legs and arms locked, making it impossible to move.

"None of my business?" His eyes flash in anger. "Aren't we best friends, Holly?"

"We are," I say, still trying to get free.

"Then why is that fucking prick coming in between us?" He growls.

"Castle's not a prick." I snap.

Sean's hand rises up to my neck, he pushes my throat back to the wall and squeezes, gasping the breath out of me.

"You don't realize it, but I do." He murmurs, bringing his face closer to mine, and running his nose across my face. "He's taking you away from me."

"Sean."

There's no way I can breathe with his hand wrapped around my throat. He must've come here right after his parents molested him again that's why he's acting like a fucking asshole right now.

"He's not...taking me...away from you." I choke out.

"He is." His lips move to my jaw.

"I'm always...here for you." And I mean it. I'll always be there for him whenever he needs me. It's a promise I made to him a long time ago which I intend to keep for as long as I can.

"Prove it to me then, Holly." He bites the underside of my jaw. His other hand travels up my hip and underneath my shirt, his fingers leaving tingles on my skin as he trails them up my waist and to the side of my breast. "Prove it to me." He jerks me closer to him. "Undress now and fuck me."

My thoughts are muddled. Undress and let him fuck me. That wasn't a problem before. I would undress for him in an instant. I've done it a billion times whenever he needed me.

But...

"You're hesitating again," Sean says, darkly.

"I'm here for you," I repeat, desperately trying to find words to explain myself.

"Prove it."

"I don't have to fuck you to prove it, Sean. You know I'm here for you."

"Do I?" He tilts his head.

"Yes." I exasperate.

He grips my shirt tightly in his fists, fuming. "Then why the fuck won't you just fuck me, Holly! I need you. I need you."

Panic rises in my chest as I try to think of words to avoid him. Why the fuck am I trying to avoid him? What's wrong with me?

I promised him I'd be there for him. Why am I hesitating then?

"I need you." His voice breaks and my shoulders tense.

He presses his face against my neck. "I need you so badly, Holly." His body trembles. "I need you."

My defence crumbles.

"Sean." I put my hand on the back of his neck and he wraps his arms around me.

"Don't leave me." He whispers against my neck. "Please, don't leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you," I say, running my fingers through his hair.

His body doesn't stop trembling. He's shaking beneath my arms as if he's going to explode if I don't hold him tight enough.

"Please help me." He chokes out.

"I'm here. I'm here." I say, soothingly. "I'm always here."

"Don't leave me." His voice reduces to a whimper.

"I won't." I wrap my arms around him, tighter, hoping my touch replaces the harsh and filthy touches his parents give him.

"You promised." He says.

"I did."

His fingers slowly start trailing up and down my back. My fingers continue running through his hair. His hand skims the hem of my shirt and I finally let him pull it up and off me. He unclips my bra and removes all other clothing off my body before taking me to bed.

Just like that, he uses me one more time tonight.

★・・・・・・★

Words: 1,900

Date of publishing: 24th April 2023