32 | ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ sʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ʜᴇʀsᴇʟғ ᴏᴜᴛ
| 32 |
| 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐞 |
"So when are you getting the results?" Riley asks me, twirling a strand of her dark hair. Even though she asked me a question, her complete attention is currently on some guy a few feet away from us.
"I got the results. I failed." I answer.
"Oh. That's—" Realization slams into her. Her eyes widen and she finally looks at me. "Wait what?"
I bat my lashes at her. "Finally decided to give me your attention?"
She gives me a flat look.
I look at the guy she had her eyes set on. "What was his name again?"
"Cale." She replies.
I tilt my head in wonder. "Sounds like a salad, doesn't it?"
She stomps her heel into my calf.
"I guess it's only the looks that matter?" I offer.
She shakes her head at me.
I lean against the lockers. "So?" I prompt. "Why are you ogling him and not sucking his face like you want to right now?"
She blows an irritated breath. "Apparently, he "doesn't do the same chick twice"." Riley uses air quotations.
"Sucks for him," I state. "He lost the lottery."
"If only he realized that." She sighs.
"There are other fish in the sea though. Don't beat yourself up."
Riley glances at Cale again.
He's surrounded by his football friends, including Sean. A couple of girls linger around them.
Riley's body tenses when one of them straight up walks up to Cale and slings her arm around his neck. Cale grins down at her before they press their lips against each other.
I look at Riley. Her lips are tightened and there's a frown on her face.
I look back at Cale and the girl. Several ways on how to wipe Riley's frown go through my mind. Starting with sweet little threats to the girl and a few pleasant words to the salad named Cale...
Riley cuts herself off from staring at them, turning towards me. "Yeah. Plenty of fish in the sea." She forces herself to smile.
My gaze flickers back to those people.
She catches on to my movement.
"They're not worth it." She tells me, pulling my eyes back to her. "Don't do anything."
I raise an eyebrow. "What am I gonna do?"
"Literally anything?" She raises an eyebrow. "Don't."
I shrug. "Your wish."
She shakes her head once more, "Distract me. Anything. Talk about something. Oh, wait—talk about British Boy."
I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you wanna hear about him?"
"What's going on between you two? You haven't said anything about him in a long time."
An unhappy expression comes on my face. "If only something happened," I mutter.
She raises an eyebrow in question.
I sigh. "Apparently, he's catching feelings for me, so he doesn't wanna get close until we're plain friends. Or else he wants to break off contact."
She raises her eyebrows. "Seriously?"
I nod. "I mean, it's fair. He laid out his terms and conditions clearly and doesn't wanna make anything complicated."
"And...what do you feel?" She pries.
"I want him," I reply, honestly. "But you know me, Riley. I'm not the type who commits. I like to explore. But I don't want Castle to leave because of that."
"So what now?"
A sour expression comes on my face. "We're friends."
"Friends?"
"I can't flirt with him. I can't touch him. I can't do—anything!" A tone of frustration slips at the last word.
Riley tries hiding a grin, but she fails.
I narrow my eyes at her. "What?"
She shakes her head. "Never would I have imagined that you would be following rules just because you don't want a guy to walk out from your life."
I bite my bottom lip. "Believe me, I can't believe it too. I don't even know why I'm bothering myself with him. I can literally walk up to anyone right now and have them unzip their pants. It's just..." I sigh. "Castle...he's different—as cliché as it sounds."
"Holly." Riley peers at me through her lashes, looking wickedly excited. "Do you have a crush on him?"
I snort. "Obviously not."
She continues grinning at me.
Before she can say more, a group of girls catch our attention. My cheerleading team walks towards us.
They give me cheery greetings when they near me. Except for one particular person.
"Do we know if you're still our captain?" Maddy asks, a certain sneer in her voice even though she tries to keep a friendly smile on her face.
I raise my chin at her. "Not yet."
"Then when?" She questions.
"Soon enough."
"I hope the results come according to our wish." Her smile widens.
I know for a fact that we both have very different wishes.
"It would totally suck if you're not our captain anymore." One of the girls says from the group.
"It wouldn't suck that much," Maddy says. "I mean, you can still be there to watch and maybe offer tips, right?" She says with such fake innocence dripping from her voice. I work hard to fight a frown off my face.
"I don't think we'll get to that," I say, confidently.
"But who knows, right?" Maddy stares at me.
I shrug, staring back at her.
I bet any passerby could catch the stare-down going between this bitch and me.
She finally flicks her eyes away.
The corners of my lips tip up the slightest in triumph.
"Are you coming to the party?" A girl from the team interrupts.
I furrow my eyebrows. "What party?"
"There's one this weekend." She grins. "You have to come!"
I shrug. "Sure."
"We have to get going now." Another girl says.
They all wish me goodbyes and good lucks before walking away.
The moment they leave, the frown I was trying to hold back springs to my face.
"What a bitch." Riley mutters, her frown as deep as mine.
I shake my head at her. "Just one, one, flaw to find to get her kicked out of the team."
She raises an eyebrow at me. "And you still won't plant something to get her kicked out?"
"Nope." I pop the 'p'.
"She's making your life hell."
A grin forms on my lips as I turn to Riley. "Hell follows me, Riles."
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
Night comes and I wait mindlessly, sitting on the couch watching TV. For the past two weeks, a sort of routine built up where I would've been studying right now with Castle. But now that the tests are over, I don't know what to do. I told Castle he could come anytime he wants even after our deal is off.
I'm not sure if he'll come.
I can't think of doing anything else except sit and wait for him.
What if he doesn't come?
I flip through the channels, but nothing catches my interest.
Finally getting tired of waiting, I pick up my phone.
Me: where are u?
I stare at my screen for a full minute, waiting for his reply.
It doesn't come.
With a sigh, I put the phone down—
Ping.
I practically snatch it as if someone will take it away from me if I don't pick it up within two seconds.
Castle: home
Me: free?
Castle: I guess
Me: you didn't come tonight
Castle: I'm with mom
A soft smile spreads on my face at that.
Me: tell her I said hey
Castle: sure
My fingers pause on the keyboard, not sure what else to type.
The problem gets solved when his text comes instead.
Castle: are you allergic to anything?
Me: uhhh no?
Me: why?
Castle: mom's asking
Castle: she wants to make something for you
Me: aww she doesn't have to
Castle: she'll cut off my hands if I stop her
Me: too bad
Me: good thing I don't mind you hand-less ;)
There's a moment of pause.
Castle: no flirting, holly
I huff.
Me: I wasn't flirting
Me: just saying I don't mind if you didn't have hands
Me: if I was flirting I would've said 'that'll be a problem since I quite like your hands'
I hope my cover-up works.
Castle: sure
Sure? That's it?
Castle: so you don't like my hands?
Me: I do they're beautiful
Me: they're like...feminine, u know?
Castle: feminine??
Me: yeah
Castle: idk if that's a compliment or an insult
Me: compliment obvsly
Castle: huh
Castle: I have to go
Me: oh
Me: see you later?
Castle: sure
That's it.
A long sigh comes out of my mouth when our short conversation comes to an end.
I stare at my phone for a couple more seconds before throwing it aside and lying down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. I have no clue what the fuck is wrong with me.
A few minutes later, Mom walks into the living room.
"What's wrong?" She asks, clearly sensing my dry mood.
Another long sigh comes out of my mouth as I turn on my side to look at her.
She settles herself on the single couch in front of me, holding a mug of coffee.
"I don't know what's wrong," I tell her.
She tucks her hair behind her ears before blowing on her coffee. "Want to talk?"
I twist my lips to the side for a second before replying. "I guess I'm used to Castle being here at this hour of the night that now I'm bored without him."
"Call him over?" She asks.
"I asked. He's spending time with his mom."
"Go to his house?"
"I don't think he'd like that. I took his time when he tutored me. He probably wouldn't like me barging into their mother-son catch-up."
Mom stares at me over her coffee cup, a slight smile forms on her face.
"What?" I ask.
Her smile widens. "Holly. Do you have a crush on him?"
"You too?" I raise my eyebrows. "Why is everyone coming to that conclusion?"
She shrugs. "You're...different with him."
"Different?"
She shrugs again. "Just...personal observations." She says, "So you're telling me that you don't like him?"
"I do like him, but I don't think it's that sort of like. Like I do want to kiss him and—why am I even telling you this? Dad will kill Castle if he hears me!"
She chuckles. "He's busy working in his room."
"He has big ears."
"Those are only activated when a guy's around. Anyways, you know, you can tell me things, right? I'm your mother but I'm not that old." She gives me a pointed look.
"I guess," I mutter.
Sighing, I sit up straight and lean against the couch. I bite my bottom lip, giving Mom a confused look. "Do...do I have a crush on him?"
"How would I know that?" She blinks at me.
I stare at my fingers, twining them together and untwining them. "I never imagined I could."
"Having a crush on someone?" She asks. "You're like every other girl. Crushes are bound to happen at your age."
"Yeah but, Castle? I'm not saying there's something wrong with him. But he's not even my type."
She shrugs. "Maybe he is, and you haven't realized it yet. Did you have a crush on any other guy?"
I shake my head.
She takes a long sip of her coffee. "Do you seriously think you're immune to liking someone?"
I mean...I've never thought of liking someone. It's always been 'use and move on' for me. I'm used to jumping from one guy to another. Fixing on one person seems...unusual.
"Why is this so confusing?" I mutter.
"Teenage times." She nods. "Spend more time with him and see if you can figure this out."
I give her a nod.
Maybe I'll persuade him to come to the party that's this weekend.
He obviously won't come that easily. I already know there's gonna be a hell lot of convincing and persuasion. The guy's so stubborn that I have to start preparing my persuasions days before I have to convince him.
I like it.
What's something I don't like about him?
Probably the fucking rules he set up if I wanna be his friend.
Would it be bad if I started having feelings for Castle?
It wouldn't be bad...but it would change things in so many ways for me.
If anyone at school got to know, they'd try making Castle's life hell just to get back at me. I know Castle, he doesn't like the attention he gets when someone's bullying him. He doesn't like attention at all.
What if he goes back to hating me when he gets bullied more just because we're dating?
If we're gonna be a couple or something like that, it'd have to be a secret.
And if we're a couple then I can't let the things that happen between me and Sean, happen anymore. It's already getting kinda rough with him because he thinks I'm avoiding him because I'm starting to like Castle.
Sean's life is a mess right now and I want him to be able to find relief in it for a few minutes—no matter if the relief he finds is when he's inside me.
Maybe I should start worrying about this when I actually do develop actual feelings for Castle.
Right now, it's just attraction, I'm sure of it.
But now that he confessed he's starting to have feelings for me, I don't know how to go about that.
I don't want his feelings to go away but I also don't wanna be classified as a fucking "friend".
I need time to figure myself out.
★・・・・・・★
How are you people doing?? What are your thoughts on this book so far?
Also below are some tropes that remind me of Castle and Holly <3
What other tropes do you think will suit our couple?
Words: 2,100
Date of publishing: 14th April 2023
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