| 12 |

| 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐗𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐄 |

My body jerks up after looking at the time before I realize...I don't have to rush anymore.

With a stiff body, I reluctantly rest back into my chair.

There's still uneasiness clinging to my back, telling me to get up and rush here and there. Do something. Exhaust yourself.

But I don't have to anymore...

My mind is still not used to the feeling of feeling relaxed.

Relaxed. Something that I haven't been in a long time.

I glance at the clock once more. 12 in the night.

I'm never home at this time. I'm always out, working my mind out.

And now that I don't have to...

Why am I this uneasy?

I should be relaxed. Calm. I should be able to focus on my mental health which I've been neglecting for the past few years.

Personal assistant. I lean back against my chair. Who knew I would become the personal assistant of some rich CEO?

Although, I'm pretty sure the 'personal' is because I'm underage. Being a personal assistant shouldn't be this easy. I'm supposed to do way more things. More things than just sitting home and doing tasks that are child's play.

Is this Holly's way of making fun of me? Offering me a job that pays way more than the work I'm doing. I should be getting half of the money that her father offered me. Not even half. Barely a quarter of it.

I have to give in five hours of my time every day, visit her father's office weekly to give in my work and that's it.

That easy...

Why am I so weirded out by the thought of something being easy?

A sigh comes out of my mouth as I glance at the clock once more.

Since I'm done with work for tonight, I might as well get some sleep.

Shutting off my old laptop and switching off the lights in the living room, I make my way to my room. That's when my phone buzzes in my pocket.

An annoyed breath comes out of my mouth.

What the hell does she want now?

She's been texting me nonsense for the past few days. Sometimes it's pictures of the lemons in her fridge. Sometimes it's some weird dark joke she remembers randomly.

First I had to get used to the fact that Holly Versace is texting me on my phone. Once the shock wore off, it was only annoyance.

In other words, her texting me is fucking unusual. And annoying.

Grumbling under my breath, I pull my phone out of my pocket and read the screen.

A flat look comes on my face.

Satan: good morningggg!!

My eyes flicker out the window to see darkness covering every inch.

Me: unless you're in some other country, it's night

Satan: ur text is too long

Satan: im not reading it

I furrow my eyebrows.

Satan: castle

Me: what?

Satan: castle

Me: that's my name what do you want?

Satan: im horny

My hands freeze. For a long time.

She's horny? What the fuck am I supposed to do if she's horny? And why is she telling me?

Oh wait. It might be some prank she's playing on me. She might be screen-recording this conversation to use against me if I reply in the wrong way.

With a stiff jaw, I get my fingers to move again.

Me: what?

Satan: Im lonely too

Me: what do you want?

Satan: im prolly gonna get raped because I cant move

Me: what the fuck are you saying

She doesn't reply for a long time.

Exactly three minutes pass with me staring at my phone, waiting for another reply.

What is she on about?

When I think she isn't gonna reply anymore, I slide my phone into my pocket—it pings.

I pull it out back again with a quiet sigh.

Satan: tag your it

Huh? Tag?

Me: what...?

Satan: catch me if you can

Me: I...can't

Satan: loser

Me: where are you?

Satan: shh secret

Me: where's your dad?

Satan: he's dead

My entire body goes stiff as a stick.

I re-read the message.

I don't think I move for an entire minute.

Me: tell me your joking

Satan: if you say so ;)

I stare at her message with a scrutinizing look before glancing at the time.

Weird messages...middle of the night...

A flat look crosses my face when I realize.

Me: holly?

Me: are you drunk?

Satan: nopeeeee

Me: where are you?

Satan: don't remember

Me: where are you?

Satan: let me ask someone

I close my eyes, looking heavenward for a moment.

I was supposed to go to sleep. I can just switch off my phone and ignore her.

Yup, do that.

A ping from my phone tells me she messaged.

Yup, ignore her.

Forget about her.

Go to sleep.

Walk up the stairs—No! No! What are you doing? Why are you unlocking your phone? Ignore! Ignore ignore—don't open her message! Don't look! Don't look! Don't look!

Satan: some guy named jokeshuas house

Joshua.

My lips purse.

I really don't want to deal with her.

My damn fingers are moving again!

Me: who did you go with?

Satan: Sean

Me: where is he?

Satan: who?

I sigh.

Me: Sean

Satan: who...?

Me: Sean!

Satan: See Ann or Shawn?

Me: what's going on around you?

Satan: everything is spinning

Another sigh comes out of my lips.

Me: send me your location

Satan: my what?

Me: location!

Satan: you pervert *laughing emoji*

What the fuck?

Me: location! Now!

Satan: im going to tell my dad

Satan: wait no he'll ground me

Me: you have three seconds before I switch off my phone

Satan: u need three secs to switch off ur phone?

Me: three

Satan: two

Another sigh comes out of my lips.

Me: holly?

Satan: that's my name

Me: Send me your LOCATION

Satan: my location

Me: yes send it to me

Satan: my location

Me: yes that

Satan: my location

A strangled noise of frustration escapes my lips.

Fuck this!

I think I might have an idea as to where Joshua's house is. I've never been there but I've heard his address going around in the hallways this week because of his party. I think I can figure it out.

Me: don't move I'm coming

Satan: your coming? *smirk emoji*

Me: just don't move

Satan: not at all?

Me: STAY WHERE YOU ARE!

Satan: okayyyyy

With a groan, I slip my phone back into my pocket.

With a moment of hesitation, I turn back around and move towards the front door, tugging on my shoes.

What the fuck did I get myself stuck into?

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

After twenty minutes of walking around and guessing streets, I finally find the house. It wasn't difficult to detect it once I was within a couple of meters away from it. The loud music has the whole neighbourhood up.

I stand in front of the house, eyeing it.

I never go to parties.

I never had the time, the strength or a reason.

After a few minutes of hesitating outside, I trudge towards the front door. The door isn't locked and there's no one guarding it, so I walk in.

The music hits me ten times harder, making my whole body vibrate along with it. A look of distaste comes on my face as I look around at the crowd of people; drinking, dancing, talking and kissing.

Just find Holly and you can leave.

Where the fuck do I find her though in this big ass house?

She could be anywhere, in any of the rooms and knowing her, she would've definitely moved after I told her not to go anywhere.

I don't even know why I'm here and why I'm looking for her. She's probably been to these a thousand times before and found herself safe at home even after getting shit drunk. She has Sean, her dad, her group of friends and people who love her everywhere she goes.

My eyes roam over everyone.

How normal it's become for people to not notice me, to look right through me. If it were Holly, they would've been swarming her by now, calling out to her.

For a moment, just for a tiny second, there's that little nagging feeling of hurt in my chest, of being so damn invisible and a nobody.

After that, there's just pure annoyance.

I don't have time for parties, and I hate people.

If I don't find Holly in ten minutes, I'm leaving. Let her deal with the consequences of getting drunk.

With that, I set another foot into the house, drawing my hood up and over my head, trying to keep parts of my face hidden. The last thing I need is someone who hates me to notice me.

Carefully, trying to keep myself away from the touches of people around me, I move around them. My eyes dart everywhere to catch a glimpse of a blonde head. It would've helped better if I knew what colour dress she was wearing.

My feet stumble when someone bumps into me from the side. On instinct, my hands go up to steady the person. My nose scrunches up at the smell of strong alcohol as I help the drunk black-haired girl to steady herself. She's wearing little to no clothes and I want to get my hands off her immediately.

The girl seems to have other plans though when she clings to my arm, pushing herself onto me.

"Who are you?" She looks up at me, her eyelids are half-closed.

I try plucking her hands off me, but her acrylic nails practically nail themselves into my arm.

"Someone who's trying to get you off me," I mutter.

I try unlatching her finger one by one off me but when that doesn't help, I resort to scratching her hands.

Still doesn't work.

"Heh? I can't hear you. The music's too loud." She leans into me further, trying to get her ear near my mouth.

"Get off me!" I shout.

"Heh?"

A sigh of frustration comes out of my mouth. Why am I here again?

Right. Holly.

Demon straight from hell.

Deciding it's no use to demolish the girl's hands off me, I decided to tug her along with me.

She follows me, stumbling, but still following without an issue. Sometimes, she runs her hands under my hoodie which gets a yelp out of me and for me to snatch her hand away.

The frown of irritation on my face keeps getting deeper and deeper as I try to look for Holly.

"Have you seen Holly?" I ask the black-haired girl.

An immediate smile comes on her flushed face. "Holly." She groans out her name. "Do you know how good her fingers feel—"

I turn my head away, not wanting to listen further.

Why the hell do I wanna listen to how good Holly's fingers feel?

I tug the girl behind me, hoping she'd pass out or something so I can finally get rid of her.

In twenty minutes I've searched the entire house to find no signs of Holly.

The black-haired girl whose name I get to know ten minutes later, Via, is still clutching onto my arm, making pit stops to throw up randomly. I make sure she doesn't land a single drop of vomit on me.

Right after every throw-up session, I grab her a glass of water to drink before resuming our search for Holly.

"I've searched the entire house. Where is Holly?" I grumble to Via.

"There's a pool outside," She says.

At that, I'm turning my head around, trying to look for a door or exit that'll lead to the pool.

"I know the way," Via whispers into my ear. "Follow me."

I'm not sure if I should be following a full-ass drunk, but I still let her lead me. After all, she's been to Joshua's house more than I've ever been.

After making a two-minute venture further into the house, Via successfully leads me to a glass door that I don't know how I missed. It might've been because people were crowding it, blocking its view from me.

Squeezing between the people, we step out of the door. I don't realize how stuffy the air was inside until I take in the first breath of fresh air. Cool air blows through me, cooling the small beads of sweat that had formed on my forehead.

There are people around and in the pool but not as many as inside the house.

My eyes roam around the pool and a distasteful expression comes on my face when I realize some of the people in the pool are fully naked with absolutely no clothing.

"Ooo skinny dipping." Via grins. "Wanna join?" She asks me.

I shake my head. "You go ahead."

"Oh come on." She once again tries to run her hand under my hoodie.

I grab her wrist and hold it to her side.

"You go," I tell her.

"What did you even come here for if you're not gonna drink, dance or strip?"

I'm here to find that grey-eyed blonde who has taken a liking to bothering me for the past few days.

I once again shake my head. "I'm not going."

"Sucks for you." She sighs. "Look how fun everyone's having. Ooo, look at Riley getting some!"

"Can you leave now?" I ask.

"Damn, Justin got abs." She whistles appreciatively. "Even Holly's dress looks so hot on her."

"I'm sure it does. Now can you please—wait what?"

I whirl my head around to where Via's looking. In between a large group of people with drinks in their hands, some cheering, others singing, some dancing—there sits Holly.

Finally! Fin-fucking-ally!

She's sitting on a pool lounge, smiling wide at something some guy is telling her. She's surrounded by barely dressed people around her, all of them giving her their undivided attention. She looks the least bit lonely like I thought she was when she texted me.

Not everyone is as alone as you are. My inner voice says. I ignore it.

Her smile is radiant. Her eyes are shining. Her hair, even though messed up, shines brightly in the dim lights. And her dress...oh god.

I try not to give too much attention to the tight red dress she's wearing that looks vivid on her.

Standing this far from her, I can't help but feel that every step toward her is going to be a step toward a place unknown to me. A place where I do not belong. A place among them. A place between all those people.

I shake the uneasy stiffness from me.

Just get her and get out.

"Finally," I mutter.

I lift my foot to take a step towards her—only someone else reaches her before me.

I stop moving when I see Sean walking in between all those people without having to squeeze in. Because people are automatically making way for him to go through.

He walks ahead and before I know it, he's sliding his arm around Holly's waist, pulling her up and tucking her to his side, pressing a kiss to her head.

My body remains stiff, hanging back, watching them.

Holly looks up at Sean, a carefree smile on her face.

Something in my heart tugs.

Who am I fooling? Holly doesn't need me. She never did. She has friends. She has people who are there for her. She's never alone.

I clench my jaw.

It was a mistake coming here.

She never needed me to get her. She texted me because she was drunk and didn't know what she was talking about.

I shake my head to myself. I wasted my time coming here.

A pair of lips press against my cheek, startling me to the point where I let out a yelp.

"Thank you for being here with me." Via smiles at me.

I'm still startled by the sudden kiss, but I manage to give her a nod.

"See ya." She winks at me.

With that, she finally unlatches her claws off me and saunters away.

I stand there all alone for a few seconds, feeling the lack of warmth from where Via left.

This coldness shouldn't be new to me. I've always remained cold. Abandoned. I'm used to it.

My eyes lift to look back at Holly.

We're so different.

We come from completely different worlds.

I'm someone who's gonna get her a grade and she's someone who got me a job.

There's gonna be nothing more.

Absolutely nothing.

With that, I silently turn around and walk back.

★・・・・・・★

The feeling of being left out and alone...I'm sure we all had incidents where we were left out either purposefully or not purposefully. It just sucks.

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert?

Words: 2,600

Date of publishing: 6th March 2023