*I don't own Transformers or anything affiliated with Transformers. I only own my original characters and plots. All rights go to Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg.*

The darkness was consuming me and my emotions were at an all time high and it didn't matter how many times I tried to cut them off; they only became worse with each time. It had been nearly four hours since I got into bed, ready to go to sleep but I couldn't sleep at all. The only thing I had been doing for the past four hours was tossing and turning.

Everything inside me hurt. The emotions I had been feeling and also been trying to hide for the past three days had heightened and somehow managed to shove their way to the surface and all of these emotions had to do with being away from Ironhide and not being able to see him or even talk to him. It was literally eating me from the inside out. I was still so angry, so upset, and so hurt over this and truthfully I didn't believe the emotions would subside any time soon.

I just missed him so so much. You would think by the way I was acting that he had died, but to me that's kind of what it felt like. I wasn't allowed to see him, I wasn't allowed to communicate with him, and oddly enough I wasn't even allowed to breathe the same damn air as him.

Without him here with me I was lost. I was lonely and I was broken. It's like I wasn't myself anymore. I didn't even feel safe anymore. I knew that I had amazing skills when it came to protecting myself, but there was no one who protected me better than Ironhide. There was also no one and no bot who cared for me and loved me more than Ironhide did.

I missed everything about us. I missed the way he would scold me when I did something stupid or when I was just acting too obnoxious for his liking. I missed the way he would hold me and try to comfort me when I was upset or mad, and I missed the way we used to be so playful with each other. I missed his touch, I missed his voice, I missed his laugh, and I even missed his attitude. I missed everything about that bot and the thought of never being able to experience any of that ever again made me feel an immense amount of pain.

All I wanted was to have him back here with me like he was supposed to be. Had he come back to college with me as he said he was going to, I would have been perfectly content with my life. The battle in Egypt would have been completely forgotten about and I would have no worries about Starscream trying to come back for me because I knew that he would never in his life let anything happen to me. Whenever I became upset, he would have been right there with me and ready to hold me.

My entire life had been ripped away from me and I still didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to cope with this. It just wasn't fair in my opinion. All a part of me knew how to do was cry and be upset over this, but all the other part of me knew how to do was hide my feelings for everyone else's sake. That part of me seemed to be the dominant part. I just didn't particularly feel that it was right for me to try and make my problems relevant while everyone else had their own to deal with.

Most people would look at me and think I was crazy and that I was stupid for crying over something like this but most people didn't understand the pain of forcibly removed from your lover's life; no communications, no visitations, and not even a simple checkup every once and a while to see how they were doing was allowed. Most people who had to leave their significant other could still engage in all of that stuff; I on the other hand could not.

The fact that Galloway could just so easily take me away from Ironhide like that sickened me and he did so without even blinking an eye. It was almost as if he found joy in my despair and I have never in my life despised someone as much as I despised Theodore Galloway also known to me as Sir Needle Dick. I didn't even think it was possible to hate someone so much until I met him on base the day Optimus died.

My feelings towards the president were no different either, only I didn't understand why he of all people would have the heart to tear me away from my fucking mate. He had daughters and though they weren't quite as old as I was, he should still know how they felt about certain situations and denying them the right to be with the one they love should hopefully be one of those situations.

I just didn't feel it was right for them to do this to me or even to Sam. For two years it was perfectly okay for us to know who and what the Autobots were. It was okay for us to communicate with them and it was more than okay to be within the same vicinity as them.

I truly thought the entire thing was vapid. First, the revocation of clearance from the Autobots had been because we were civilians without authorized clearance and then it was because of presidential order. After that it turned into an entire ordeal over our safety. I was actually beginning to think there was something sketchy about it.

Hitting Galloway and going off on him about the situation made me feel a lot better than I would have had I not done anything to him at all, but the feeling that I was forgetting to do something was heavy inside my body. It was only now with everything so heavy on my mind that I finally realized what it was that I needed to do.

I couldn't very well drive down to the White House and beat up the president for all of this and even if I could I still probably wouldn't. He may have taken part in making my life a living hell but I still had a credible amount of respect for him; he was my nation's leader after all. I also couldn't drive down to Washington and yell at him for it either. There was only one thing I could do to ease this feeling and it was probably one of the most cliche ideas in the world but I had no other choice but to do it.

Suddenly I was being shaken. I rolled over in bed to see Adalyn kneeling on my bed, a worried expression on her face. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't even heard her come over here.

"Are you okay? You're crying," she said. I sat up and wiped my eyes. I hadn't even realized I had started crying either.

"Um, no I'm not. I was just thinking about Ironhide," I answered.

"Ironhide?"

Oh shit.

"Um, yeah. My boyfriend. That's what the soldiers call him down at the base," I told her.

She gave me a sad look before sitting down beside me on my bed. A quick look to my bedside table clock indicated to me that it was now four in the morning. It was a good thing I only had classes on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

"You really miss him, don't you?" Adalyn asked as she squeezed my side.

I sniffed and nodded. "I think I've found a way to make me feel just a bit better though and I need your help. It's probably the lamest thing ever, but I need to do it."

She looked at me. "Of course I'll help you. What do you need to do?"

"I need to write a letter to the president. I can't very well go beat him up or yell at him so this is my only other option. It'll make me feel so much better just to get some needed words out to him. I need your help with it so you can turn all of my vulgar phrases into moderately decent ones so I don't get put in jail. I also want you to be prepared for what you're going to read. I'm not supposed to tell anyone about this but I just don't care anymore," I told her.

She laughed. "I will gladly do that for you. When should we get started?"

"Do you have a class in the morning?"

She shook her head. "My only classes are on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays."

I smirked. "Well, then do you mind starting now?"

She smiled at me. "Let's do it."

*Please vote and comment. It'd mean so much to me. I wanna know what you guys think.*