2016

I have a few hours to kill on the train so I spend it wisely . . . Stalking Ryan Thorne on social media, of course.

Okay, maybe it's not such a wise move, but I want to be prepared. So from a career point of view, I'm telling myself it makes sense. However, there's not really any more information there for me to glean; over the years I've learned it all already.

So here's what I can tell you about Ryan 3.0.

First up, he's divorced.

He got married around 6 years ago. His ex-wife is the girl I saw him with that random Christmas, from what I can deduce from the one photo I could find of them. They eloped and got married in Vegas. The marriage lasted 3 years. I have no idea what the reason was for the break-up. Facebook doesn't tend to go into details.

He might have a girlfriend now; I'm not entirely sure. There's a girl who crops up in a lot of photos on his social media. She's a pretty brunette; they always look happy together. I try not to be jealous but my inner green-eyed monster reacted more strongly to her than to the ex-wife.

Of course, none of these statements are related to my career. I know. But I have to admit I'm fascinated by Ryan 3.0. I want to know what makes him tick now. But it's not like I can exactly ask when we're borderline estranged at the moment. So social media is my best bet to do any sort of investigative work on his psyche.

Check me out, trying to make Facebook stalking sound far more highbrow than it really is!

Anyway . . . I'm off-track. Again. Sorry. Let's talk about the hotel itself.

One thing I didn't realise about Ryan straightaway when I first met him, all those years ago, was that his family was pretty damn well-off; his dad a wealthy businessman with his fingers in many pies. When Ryan was 17, his dad had a midlife crisis (possibly not unlike what I'm going through now, I can't help but think), and decided to leave Lena, take up with a much younger woman, and move up north to buy and run a hotel, abandoning both his children in the process.

Classy, eh? *insert eyeroll here*

Anyway, I'm not sure of all the intricate details but approximately 3 years ago, Michael Thorne had a heart attack and decided he no longer had the motivation or energy to run a hotel. So he offered it to Ryan - maybe as an olive branch for his behaviour all those years ago. And then promptly decamped permanently to his holiday home overseas with his latest girlfriend. (Spoiler alert: not the same one he had left Lena for. There have been a few different girls in between. Some of them have even overlapped.)

I guess this must have been the same time that the divorce kicked in . . . Maybe Ryan was in a similar position to me at that point and needed a change of scenery himself.  Before that he'd been working in marketing in England somewhere. I guess when his relationship imploded, getting as far out of dodge as possible would seem pretty hard to resist. And so he took over the hotel and moved to the Highlands.

Ironic, however, that Ryan ended up living my dream. Back when we were 17, before that night, we had many conversations about what we wanted to be when we grew up.  He was adamant that he did not want to follow in his father's footsteps, while I longed to chance my arm and ask if he'd let me do work experience up there. I know, how terribly inappropriate of me! But I already had my unconditional offer to study Business Management with Hospitality at uni and I wanted to get a headstart on my experience. I was a lot more ambitious back in those days.

I wonder if Ryan even enjoys what he's doing. I think back to his exhausted face last week and find myself thinking "probably not". Despite everything, I find myself making a quiet vow that I will do all I can to make his working life easier, to try not to cause him any deeper frownlines.

Thats my job, after all.

I put my phone down on the table and look around the train carriage. It's fairly quiet for a Saturday - I guess people are still skint from Christmas and staying in rather than going on train trips. I suppose I'd be doing the same had these unusual circumstances not arisen.

I'm not officially starting my training until Monday but coming up today should give me time to settle in and get to know my surroundings a bit, hopefully. I'm keen to see the hotel for real, find out where I'll be living for the next year. Cold fear of the unknown suddenly clutches at me again; this has been happening every so often since  I made that impulsive decision to agree to this job.

What if I'm terrible at the job?

What if I let Ryan down, despite my pledge not to?

What if I start to fall for him all over again?

It's the last thought that scares me the most.

The train is starting to slow now and I start to gather my belongings together, realising I don't even know who I'm looking for when I get off the train. Maybe Ryan is playing some sort of evil joke on me. Leaving me stranded at the station. At least it's not a deserted one, I suppose.

My heart starts to thump harder with anxiety, and I let everyone else alight from the train before I do so I'm not in the middle of a crowd. I trail behind, planning to stop as soon as I get through the barriers and message Ryan. It's the last thing I want to do though. A sign of weakness. Like I'm already failing my first test.

I'm pulling my phone out of my handbag when a voice above me says my name. "Iona Stewart?"

I look up. Try to say "that's me," but the words stick in my throat and I can only nod.  Because looming above me is an extraordinarily good looking man. The very image of that tall, dark, handsome hero I always dreamed I'd fall for back in the day.  The type I didn't really think existed in real life.

"Hey." I think he might be Australian. "I'm Angus. Ryan sent me here to pick you up?"

I can't help but smile.

This job has suddenly got about ten times more appealing.

Maybe Iona will have a distraction from Ryan after all???

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