Teddy shivered in the brisk March air, his back leaning against a cold stone column in the courtyard, feeling hollow inside. Despite the cold weather, Teddy felt the need to be outside of the sorrowful castle. Even away from the empty corridors, pitiful feelings crept into his thoughts distracting him from the Astronomy essay propped on his knees. Beside him Rowel leaned over his work, brow furrowed and face contorted into a forced casual look. Rowel, who had been so keen to hide his face recently, no doubt felt the need to do so again.

                “I can’t do this.” Teddy whispered at last, rubbing his arms to warm himself up.

                Rowel’s quill stopped on the parchment abruptly, his eyes moving up to Teddy’s. As soon as he had looked, however, his glance fell again as his quill began leaving its trail of ink on the paper once more. “What?”

                “I can’t pretend everything’s alright,” Teddy whispered, his voice cracking, knowing very well Rowel knew exactly what he had meant. “This is my fault.”

                Rowel shook his head at once, this time his head snapping up. “Don’t do that to yourself.” He said firmly. “Don’t try and make yourself feel worse. You’re acting immature.”

                Teddy eyes flared. “Am I? Rowel, you’re the one who’s been acting as though nothing has happened! Dustin is dead, Rowel.” The words triggered something inside him that made his stomach knot. He turned away quickly, acting interested in an eagle owl perched on the fountain. What had he done to deserve all this? Face falling; Teddy felt his vision grow blurred from salty tears. He bit his tongue to stop himself from crying.

                “Let’s just try and put this behind us, okay?” Rowel said evenly, his hand clapping Teddy’s shoulder. “I mean, it’s good that we’re sad isn’t it? It means our lives are happy enough for us to feel like this.”

                Teddy wanted to whip around and retort. How could Rowel think this was something to brush off? However, when he turned he found Rowel’s eyes on him, tears sparkling on his cheeks. Teddy blinked in astonishment. Rowel had obviously lost the collectiveness he was attempting to uphold. His eyes shone with hollowness as his hands clasped at nothing but air. His clammy movements made Teddy shiver in despair. How could the world be so cruel?

                “Hey.”

                Teddy turned and spotted Meggie walking towards them, hands buried in the pockets of her jacket. She glanced between Rowel and Teddy and smiled weakly. “Bad time?”

                Forgetting everything he had hated Meggie for, Teddy gestured for her to take a seat next to him. For some reason, being around another human being going through the same thing made him feel a bit better. She sat, pulling her knees to her chest to shield herself from the wind. Teddy remembered how she had acted at the party and realized with a jolt she could have very well been in the same trouble as the boy who threw the root.

                “So . . . I guess I should apologize to you, Ted.” She muttered.

                “For what?” Teddy asked. “Meggie, I was a complete and utter prat.”

                Meggie’s grin widened. “You dead serious, Lupin?” She said breathlessly. “You mean you aren’t going to unfairly judge me like an overgrown Mandrake with Dungbombs for ears? Hm, I guess that would make you a prat . . .”

                Teddy felt his mood perk a bit as Meggie talked to him as if nothing had ever changed between them. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” He said, nudging her with an elbow.

                “Haven’t you got an Astronomy essay to write?” Rowel asked her pompously, not caring to wipe away the tear residue on his face. In fact, he seemed to wear them like a crown. Teddy admired the way he was brave enough to embrace the fact that grief would come and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

                Meggie shrugged. “Melina Murgsen spilled ink all over it when I was in the library.” She explained. “Yes, I was in the library!” She added seeing their identical expressions. “I needed some quiet away from you both. Can’t stand not being able to talk to you about . . . things.”

                “What type of things?” Teddy asked, putting away his poorly written but completed essay.

                “You know,” She hissed, leaning closer, her eyes narrowed slightly. “Avenging your parents.”

                He scowled. “That’s seriously what you’re worried about, Meggie?” He spat. “I’m not doing that. It’s – it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter.” Teddy felt anger surge up inside him. How could Meggie be so unsympathetic as to talk about that? Had Dustin’s death not even penetrated her thick skin at all? Maybe the shock was still sinking in or perhaps she never cared about Dustin, but it angered him all the same.

                With a jolt Teddy realized how little emotion he too had been showing. Inside he felt completely blank, like there was deep gaping hole in his stomach but outside he had tried to stay nonchalant. Was Meggie keeping things bottled up again? Even if Dustin hadn’t been Teddy’s best friend, his death had shaken his world. Surely he wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

                Imagine, Teddy thought, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. Having your life snatched away from you before even leaving Hogwarts? A shiver traveled down his spine. There was so much to live for. He could almost see Dustin’s round, dimpled face, swimming before his eyes.

                “Treating Abby alright, Ted?”

                “How’s Quidditch going? We gonna win it this year?”

                “You won’t believe what chocolate frog card I got this morning!”

                Teddy’s head rung with the sound of Dustin’s voice. He realized how young the voice seemed to sound . . . how innocent. He remembered the young boy he had met in his first year, his eyes wide with excitement and fear alongside Abigal.

                “Teddy this is just the closure you need!” Meggie exclaimed after silence. “I’ve been reading some old wizarding volumes. And – just listen, Teddy! – and vengeance works out for them.” Her eyes were wide as though she just revealed an amazing invention.

                Teddy shook his head. “Just drop it, okay?” He muttered, swinging his bag onto his shoulder.

                Meggie groaned. “Knew I shouldn’t’ve gone on to the topic so quick.” She muttered. “This doesn’t mean we’re not, like, friends and stuff anymore, right?”

                “Meggie!” Rowel snapped, also snapping his bag closed. “I don’t think this is great time, do you? Right after, you know everything.”

                Teddy stood up and strode towards the entrance, Meggie on his heels.

                “Not now, Meggie.” He sighed, turning to her and forcing a yawn. “I’m going to take a nap in the boy’s dormitory.”

                Meggie shook her head. “I dunno, maybe I’m just doing this for myself. You know, because of my home situation. With everything there, you know, I guess I’m just craving attention here. Maybe it has something to do with all the hurt feelings inside me. Inside all of us. Maybe this will take all that away.”

                Teddy stopped in his tracks. Why did Meggie make things so difficult? He knew very well she was trying to make him crack, making up stories like that. Yet somehow he knew that what she said was partially true. Could it really erase all the pent up feelings inside him.

                “A nap. I think I’ll take a nap.” He said again, with a deep sigh his mind overwhelmed with thoughts.