*Charlie's P.O.V *

The world blurs. Something topples, its contents spilling on the floor, but Leo's eyes remain on me. He still presses my limbs to the bed, begging, "PLEASE, PLEASE, FUC-CALM DOWN CHARLIE!" Who even invented these words? I am not a machine with a "calm" button; machines don't understand this. Leo, get off me before I hurt you; machines, bodies, ribs - machines, books, have I read about machines - you're still yelling for me to relax - What?! I'm very relaxed; don't touch me. Are you trying to evaporate my wrists? I can't move- I can't move on- ARE YOU CRAZY?! MOVE ON WHERE -

A tear falls on my neck. No, two. By the next drop, I am numb.

Slowly, his grip loosens. I feel his knees knock mine as vague coolness hits my face.

"Oh God -" His warmth has travelled to the bed's edge. He turns his back to me.

Silence can be agonising.

"I-I'll le-lea-leave." I wipe his tears off me, sitting up abruptly. My feet fluster until they feel the stationery sprawled on his carpet.

"Dad -" Leo whispers. I tilt to him, look down and up again—his hand shivers on mine like he is touching fire.

"Dad... dad cut someone in front of you?"

"Mhm."

"You see things?"

"Mhm."

He stands. Trailing him, I see the first aid kit in his cupboard before he takes it.

He plops down so close I can hear his breathing. "Can I?" He motions to my hand. Nodding, I focus on his rings while they graze my bruised skin with every movement he makes: cleaning blood, dabbing ointment, and slowing down whenever I wince.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." I wince again.

"No, it's not. How do, like, you cope, besides -" Leo grimaces at the bandage he winds around my hand. I consider the question and what it may do to him.

I really don't want him to worry, but his eyes are boring into mine, and now my lips are moving. "Urm, study, sleep, bath, though that doesn't ... really distract me, umm -"

"You are not my distraction." He squeezes my hand.

I see a wet stain on my bandage and flinch. "Ok, but if you want me to go, it's fine. I ... I will."

"Don't."

*

So, I am still here. I look up at the ceiling; it doesn't fall. Beside me, Leo breathes in. He looks like a baby sleeping. Slowly, I wiggle out of the bed.

I have a bath and iron my uniform before climbing back into bed with my notes - his study desk is too busy. I'm taking a self-test when his arm flies over my chest. It takes everything in me, not to yelp.

"What are you doing?" he rasps. I freeze, and he opens one eye.

"Urr-"

"We wake up at 5:30 in this household. Close your books."

"But -"

"Shhhhhhhhh." He pulls the cover over our heads.

"Ok, what if I can't sleep?"

"Enjoy my snore." He starts making weird sounds. I smack his head with a pillow, but it barely moves him.

When the promised time arrives, I'm far gone. Leo has to shake me back to life.

"You like my snoring that much?"

"Don't flatter yourself." I rub slumber off my eyes.

His jaw drops. I ignore him, reaching for my uniform. Soon, he also gets dressed, combs his dark hair, sprays enough cologne to make me wonder what is air, and then fumbles with his door key.

Recognising his struggle, I gulp. "Let me try."

He steps back for me. As we hear a successful creak, my eyes shut.

"You are seeing things again?"

Yes.

"Mm." He shifts nearer. There's a lengthier pause before he utters, "Do you remember the morning of our trip?"

"What about it?"

"I fought with Dad."

"Oh."

"And on my way, I felt like he was cutting me... until I entered and you were there, smiling... you were smiling at me, and it was ... it was like I was gonna die, not because of dad's knife... I heard it peel my skin, but you were there too, and you were fucking smiling at me as if I am not a star player or a menace or or human or a dead kid walking; as if I am larger than that, like a universe, like ... I don't know... It's something like that, and that took my breath away."

Now, what am I supposed to say to that?!

"Huh."

"Too much?"

"No, it's just, ur -" I sigh, "urm, if I never saw the body, what would have happened?"

He chews his lower lip in thought and then smirks.

"I would have brought your pictures, gone to the skatepark with you, and then dumped you in my pile of distractions cuz, like - how do you see through my bullshit so much?"

"First, language. Second, I like your honesty, but that hurts," I snort. Leo cracks up as well. Gradually, our laughs ring loud and defiant as if our ribs can stand all this pressure. His own festers first.

"Charlie?"

"Mm?"

"You can't be here when I get caught."

Instantly, my breath hitches. I snap, "I'm not leaving you! And anyway, the only criminal here was your dad."

"Charlie!"

"No, there's got to be a way," I say with hand gestures. "I'm not leaving, and you're not going anywhere either. We'll figure this out."

"There's nothing to figure out," he contends, "every other witness to Dad's crimes is either dead or an even worse criminal, and I am not risking your life again, so forget it."

"But -"

"We'll be late for school." He exits. Left to stand alone, I grimace at space. This is not the best decision ... but I get it... but we can't just pretend ... what about telling the truth to the police - oh, wait, that worked out terribly -

My reverie is cut short by a high-pitched rebuke.

"...今度は誰の女の子を連れてきたの?!"

"English." Leo's voice also resonates.

"Which girl did you bring this time?! Ah, this boy wants to send me to my ancestors early..."

Oh, his mother!

Before I know it, my head is poking through the entrance to the dining hall. I wave shyly, and a woman squints at me with identical concentration.

She turns to Leo. "Who is she?"

"Charlie." He facepalms. "He's Charlie, mom."

That's when she gasps," Oh, it's you! How're you, dear?"

"Urm, g-good."

"Good, good. What would you like for breakfast? We've got eh eh, cereal, toast?"

I turn to Leo, and he leaves his chair, answering in Japanese. Their conversation ends with her heading for the kitchen after she pulls his ear: an act so powerful that colour drains off her two-times taller son. Not even a second later, he tugs me away from the wall shielding me.

"Leo -" He sits me down before I finish.

"Hey, let me talk. What did she say?"

"She said a lot."

"Like?"

He huffs, "She thought I was imagining you. She thought I was crazy. "

"Well." Coming to think of it -  "You are crazy. Which sane person sprays so much perfume on themselves?"

"Ok, shut up."

"Rude."

"Annoying."

"Herh- Where's your mom? She should come and pull your ears harder," I lament.  He flushes.

As if on cue, she reappears. We act like innocent kids instantly, taking the food trays from her. She babbles as we almost eat her bowls in hopes of appeasing her.

"Do you want more?"

"No, thank you, ma'am."

"Oh, but there's a lot more," she cheers, only for her son to grunt, "I told you, Dad won't come home, and he doesn't even like porridge. Heck, he's probably eating maggots -"

"Takeru, don't start!"

"Whatever. He won't come -" Leo's hand is trembling under the table; I touch it. He stills.

His mother sighs at the flower pot in the corner. He tilts to me. I smile, and he utters, "Sorry, mom."

"I know."

She drives us to our schools afterwards. In mine, I relearn why Spencer High seniors need curfews.

Don't they want to graduate? There are twenty-seven minutes left to start lessons!

Or maybe they are just tired. I consider having a nap myself until realisation strikes me.

Oh... how did I forget?

I retreat into the hallway and head for a locker. To my fortune, its owner is already there as I say, "Hey, Noah."

As if he's seeing wings behind me, he opens his mouth. "You remember my name?" Noah closes his locker.

I nod, and his eyes flutter severally. "Step on, m- sorry, I mean, you're coming to ask for Mia? If so, she's in Russia."

Thank goodness. That must mean she's safe.

"Do you want her new contact?"

"Sure." I pull out my phone for him. I take his number, too, and compliment his footwear before returning to class. Perhaps I'm feeling better now. Everything is better now, right? There are still body parts... but, like ... I don't know. We're safe now, right?

My problem is that I can't pretend. I want to try for Leo to live, but - what life?

Pondering this, I switch on the phone. My finger hovers over the call button, but I press another contact. I have eight more minutes before the teacher comes.

"H-hello?"

"Hold up... Charlie?"

"Yes?"

"CHARLIE?! IS THAT YOU?!"

"Mia, you're shouting."

"Oh my fucking-"

"Language."

"Definitely you."

I roll my eyes to that. "Urm, sorry,  I really want to catch up, and we will, but urm, is your aunt around?"

"No. Why?"

"I need some information but, like, not directly from her - It's about a certain Maria lady with a husband who has her name -"

"My aunt's name?"

"Yes." I frown. Wait, does she know...

"Then, you can talk to Harry's girlfriend. I mean, I don't know what you want, but like, if you tell her I sent you, she'll give you whatever."

I am about to ask her why, but then I remember. "She really stabbed you?!"

"Dude, now you're shouting. Aren't you in class?" Mia asks. I agree with her and say goodbye, not wanting to draw more attention to myself.

The instant school closes, I search for Autumn. Finding her on the school field, it takes everything in me not to blast her the second she turns. Her cheerleading mates ogle me, but I don't care.

I march up to her and blurt, "Please, I don't even want to hear your voice. What you did to Mia was so horrible, and I'm going to make sure you and my friend won't just have a 'break' - you'll break up. And if I find out that you've done worse stuff, I will not just report it; I will make sure that all the pain you've ever inflicted comes crashing into your tiny cranium. You hear me?"

"I gave Harry drugs. Sorry!" Her eyes widen. I step back, rage flooding in.

Calm down, Charlie.  Act cool, please.

I exhale. "Drugs from who? Tell me everything."

"Well, my uncle..."

*

On Thursday,  when Autumn sets up a meeting, I am not Charlie. I walk past chandeliers and on pristine marble floors, falling in step with her.

She opens the door to reveal a home office. I breathe in the scent of perfumed ornamental plants. Before us, her uncle appears, intertwining his fingers like this is a business conference.

"Sweetheart, you may leave." The early- forties, handsome man sounds a hundred. I frown as Autumn gives me a shrug and obeys.

He clears his throat. "What do you want from me, kid?"

"Your wife was found in a car, and its licence number has been taking up space in my head, giving me such an awful headache."

"What?!" He grimaces while I tuck my hair behind my ear.

"Wh- What -"

"Also, her finger was missing. I hope you noticed. And the ring you got her, was it a real diamond carved as a teardrop?"

"Wha -who are you?"

"Unfortunately, no one in the meantime. Like I said, I have such an awful headache that it's impossible to even come up with a creative alias. And you are?"

His brows crease."The hell! If you didn't know that, why are you even here?"

"I'm here to give my condolences, sir."

"Then, where is that fucker who killed her? Why don't you tell your bosses to get rid of him?!" he snaps.

What bosses?

"Please, may I have a seat?" I smile.

This just irates him further. He folds up his sleeve, gives me an absolutely disgusted look, takes off his watch, and then gives me the go-ahead. I train my gaze on him while he fiddles with his well-groomed beard, deep in thought.

"Oh, I see," he says condescendingly, "they got you from some pimp to scare me a little."

Huh? I try not to react.

"Pretty boy, you seem crazier than Mordecai, so you must be a good replacement. Want a drink?"

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