Virgo

From the tender age of four, I was always aware of one fact. Sure, I didn't hound after it, my thoughts weren't completely consumed by that fact; it would slip my mind quite often, but I would always be brought back to it, one way or another.

I was a golden boy. 

No, it wasn't just my parents who told me this, my teachers, principals, heck, any authority figure treated me like so. 

To them, I was perfect. My grades, behavior, intelligence, I was good in almost every way. I smiled as I passed by, never said a bad word or did a bad thing in front of them. 

By the age of six, I was aware of another fact. This fact, however, I let control my life, pushing and shoving in all different directions. 

The world was cruel. 

It didn't matter who you sucked up to, you would always fall back with the flock you began with. And to those kids in my grade, I was a stuck-up, snobby piece of shit who tried to take all the attention for himself. 

I mean, they weren't terribly away from the truth. I was nice to the older people only. The kids my age... I treated them like they were part of the landscape. 

Perhaps cruelty is just a part of human nature. It begins in children, but sometimes their good deeds overshadows it so we don't even notice. 

Take that particular day after school, first grade, for example. 

"Virgo... I like you! Meet me after school, so we can play!" A girl said. Her name, I had forgotten by now. But she stood out from the other kids. She was popular, a result of her family being rich. And pretty. 

Being a six year-old, I didn't know better. Why a rich, pompous, spoiled brat like her would want to hang out with a guy like me, I didn't care.  

"Ok!" I yelled back cheerily. 

I ran out to the playground the first thing after school ended. I didn't have many friends, growing up. To be invited to play with a kid my age... it was like God had reached down and offered me a free ride to heaven. 

I was surprised when I got out to the playground. Sure, the girl was there... but so was everyone else in our grade. 

"Hi... everyone?"

"Hello, Virgo. Come play tag!"

They had all worn smiles on their faces. Some warmer than others, though they all held a type of plasticky fakeness. That should've been my first sign that something was wrong.

"Ok!"

We began playing, with me being 'it' since I had arrived there last. I chased the other kids around, determined to get someone else it. Then I felt the push. 

It was small, quick, but enough to knock me off balance a bit. I stumbled to a halt, managing not to fall. 

"Oops. Sorry, Virgo. That was an accident." The boy said carelessly. And that should've been my second. 

"Oh, ok. But you better run quick, because I'm going to get you!" But I was naive. It was to be expected of a six-year old. 

The boy ran off, and I resumed my chase. Just a few seconds after, another push came. This one was more of a shove. I fell onto the mulch-covered ground, the small pieces digging into my knees and palms just hard enough to draw blood. Tears prickled at the corner of my vision, but it was just my reflex of pain. 

Pretty quickly, everyone had gathered into a small circle around me. But instead of hands reaching down to help me, or even an apology, there was mocks and jeers. 

"What a crybaby!"

"Aww, can't get up, Virgo?"

"I didn't know Golden Boys cried, Caelum!"

"Who said he was ever a Golden Boy? He's just another one of us."

Then came a kick. Followed by a punch. Then another kick. And it continued like that for who-knew-how-long, until finally there was too much blood for them to handle and they just ran. 

There was a lot I learned that day. But perhaps the thing that stuck with me most, was something that one of the girls had yelled to me, before leaving. 

"Learn your place, idiot!"

Trash. Scum. Low-life. That's all I'll ever amount to. Just another piece of filth that someone will abandon someday. 

At least, that's what they told me. 

So I resisted. I strived to become the best. Refused the idea that I could ever become lower than them. I had to be golden. Clean. Everything had to be perfect. 

I gripped the edge of the sink, staring at my reflection through a pair of perfectly cleaned pair of glasses. My hair was cut short and neat, every strand in place. 

The counter itself I had scrubbed and washed many, many times, until it gleamed a pristine white. But still, germs accumulate at a startling quick rate, so I make sure to scrub it clean again every morning. 

No more filth. No more trash, or scum in my room. Everything is perfect. Everything has to be perfect.

Because I have to be a Golden Child. 

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Sagittarius

Normally, I didn't act like on I was on crack 24/7. I could fake normal-ness pretty, well, but the easiest way to catch my ADHD is when I'm mad. 

Like this morning, for example. 

We were going on a field trip today. Usually this is the time where everyone discovers that they forgot whatever necessity they needed, so we were going to the mall. And even though the doctors don't say it, it's also a test to see how well we can act in public. 

We walked into the mall, everyone splitting up to go their own way. I went off to look at the clothing, I decided earlier that I had not packed enough comfy sweaters.

I was walking through the displays when suddenly, a kid, twelve at most, bumped into me from behind. He didn't even say anything after that, just brushed past me. But that wasn't what caught my attention first. 

It was the blue wallet in his hand that angered me. That was my wallet. And I wasn't about to let him off with thievery. 

"Hey! Give that back!" 

I lunged at the kid, tackling him to the ground. That was mine. 

At least, I thought so. I grabbed the wallet from his hand, and my eyes slowly widened in horror when I saw what I now held. 

It was a small, blue, leather wallet, quite resembling my own. But in an instant I could see the differences. The blue was two shades too dark, the leather edges too hard. 

I stared down at the kid, hurriedly scrambling off him and throwing the wallet at his face. There were people staring at us already. I had to get out of here. 

Finally, I found my way to the restroom, and gripped the edge of the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

I looked like a mess. My blonde hair, mussed, and green eyes wild. I turned away after a moment, holding back a sob that threatened to claw its way out of my throat.

I was supposed to be at this place to get better, not worse. 

I was supposed to come here to become less impulsive, not more.

I was supposed to come here... to start off with a clean slate. Pure. Golden.

I'm sorry, Dad. Looks like I can't be the golden child you always wanted. 

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Lol next few chapters is going to be all about the zodiacs at the mall... but it's also going to have a healthy dose of angst. Of course it will. What is this book without angst? 

Ah, whatever. I spoke too much again. And as always, if you enjoyed, please vote or comment!