CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

EVERY DAY has twenty-four hours, the same clock ticks every day, every night, yet time still feels different each day. Some days are long, other days are short. Although it is the longest nights where the soul suffers the most. It is the longest night that tries humans with the hardest test. And it is the longest night where the most painful tears are shed.

As Lily looked up at the sky above, she wondered when the sun would rise. Though with the way the moon illuminated the space, the way the stars twinkled ever so slightly, she knew that the night had only begun, and tonight would be the longest night. Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt the vibrations of the bass pulse against her car, a part of her pondered whether a noise complaint had been filed by the neighbors already or not.

Such a mundane thought wasn't it? — Only having to worry about whether the party would get shut down was what she would like to have stressed about. Although, as the last hour of the night replayed in her mind, she knew that her life could never be so easy again. All she could see in front of her was Kate's eyes bloodshot with anger, Trevor's arms that felt too warm to let go of, and Raj who remained as stoic as ever as if he were a ghost wandering the planet looking for a companion to join him.

" — Lily!" She jerked away from the man who'd managed to entangle her in a hug. With a grunt and a shove he was off of her, stumbling into the tree she'd parked next to. "Come on, your little boyfriend is crying inside." He groaned, rubbing his shoulder before tugging on Lily's wrist.

"Let go of me!" Lily shouted over the music that seemed to drown out the quiet night.

"Now I see why Dominic invited you." He winked, elbowing her as if the two were exchanging an inside joke.

Lily tried to think back to the last time the two had spoken — was it when he needed some help on his English paper, or when he needed her to be his alibi after a night of cheating on his doting girlfriend. It made her sick as she observed the people she'd been protecting for the sole purpose of 'fitting in'. Now, as it all backfired on her, she was left to pick up the pieces of what was left of her reputation, groveling on her knees for forgiveness, as those around her were unaware of the storm that was yet to come.

     Her eyes fell from his hazed pupils to his hand that had tightened around her wrist once more. Lily shook away from his grasp, holding her hand up to indicate she didn't need his help. A sigh escaped her lips as she rubbed her temples to rid the headache growing over time. The only thing she wanted was a break from all this, to turn around, go home and fall asleep. No worries, besides whether or not a noise complaint had been filed or not.

She scoffed thinking of the idea of walking away after what had happened the first time she'd done so. The cries that tore Kate's vocal cords as they were finally released for the world to hear as if a lioness was finally admitting that she too had been wounded deeply.

"We're all still suffering, we're all still stuck in time while you move forward..."

"But I can't move forward," Lily murmured as tears brimmed her eyelids. "I'm stuck." Her hand froze, hovering millimeters away from the door handle that would lead her into an abyss of drunk teenagers who still have yet to learn that their actions have consequences.

"Come over, Lily."

"I'm not coming to her house, are you fucking crazy?"

"If you come, I'll tell her the truth."

"What?"

"Are you coming?"

" — Are you coming?" Lily looked ahead to find the door wide open, inviting her in to lose herself for the night.

And like that, that night drowned out her senses, fogging her vision and silencing her thoughts. All that she could focus on was the life leaving Venus' eyes as she watched helplessly, and the same song playing in the background. Lily stumbled back from the party, her breathing growing erratic as she watched herself enter the house, dressed in the same outfit as that night. She watched as she hung her head low enough to not be recognized by her friends.

"No, no, no," she whispered, reaching out to grasp her arm. "Don't go in!" She screeched, but to no avail. Like that night, Lily disappeared into the abyss and tied herself into a web she could not escape. She watched helplessly from the front door until Lily vanished from her field of view.

Without hesitation she took one step forward and broke into a jog, running after the memory that had damned her life before it began. A piercing screech halted her in her steps. Her hands rose to cover her ears as the sound only grew. The noise mixed together with the sound of the song that played from that night bringing Lily to her knees.

Her chest rose irregularly while her mind tried to separate what was happening and what had already happened. Then her eyes landed on her — Venus, and in front of her, staring at Venus as if she were a deity — Lily. The blood coursing through her veins ran cold as she watched Lily walk towards Venus. The breath that dared to escape her throat was caught in her mouth as she watched herself walk past Venus who stared at her with a venomous gaze.

"Venus?" Her name sounded like an ancient hymn one would repeat to be showered in love and riches. Though, right now it sounded like she'd finally named the monster that lurked deep within her mind, taunting her. Right now, she watched Venus Wilson morph into herself. "Lily?" She called out, as Lily watched herself across the room.

Lily looked at herself, staring with the same expression she displayed on her own visage. Her eyebrows furrowed as she wondered if she was looking in the mirror or not. The confusion only continued to grow as she watched her eyes widen as if she'd been caught red-handed doing something she was told not to. Like the wind, she disappeared. Lily raised her hand to latch onto herself as she passed by her, but instead, let out a shriek when her gaze fell upon the color of her skin.

"W-what?" She breathed out, trying to make sense of the pale complexion of the hand attached to her arm. Lily's eyes grew as she turned her arm over as if it were a limb attached to her when she was unaware, only to find a minuscule tattoo on her wrist. The same tattoo she'd zoomed in on when she was jealous of what she had that made Tyler love her so much.

She wasn't Lily.

" — Venus!" Tyler slurred out, before enveloping her in a hug too suffocating for her comfort. Lily let out a shaky scream as she tried to claw out of the hug only to find Lily staring at her from the staircase. Her tears shone brightly, encapturing the lights that bounced off the white walls. Her breath continued to grow ragged as she tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Let go of me!" She bellowed, pushing Tyler away from her. As if he were a figment of her imagination he disappeared from her eyes.

Lily let out a breath of relief as everything disappeared from her eyes. She found herself leaning into the wall adjacent to her, trying to regain composure only for her ears to perk up at the sound of whispers on the staircase.

Before she could look up, the same song drowned out her hearing forcing her to focus on the haunting sound of the singer. Her hand rose to rub her eyes, but that didn't change the setting when she opened them. She poked her ears trying to clean them with her pinky finger, yet it felt like the song was coming from within her. As if haunting her for the rest of her life.

"Lily!" She jerked her head up to find Tyler pulling Lily upstairs.

"No, don't go!" She shouted, lunging after the two lost in the bliss of love. The strands of blonde blinded her vision while she climbed the stairs hot on their heels, but it wasn't enough for her to abandon Lily from walking into a web — the same web she walked into that night. Tonight.

Just as her foot landed on the final step of the staircase, her breath halted. A pair of arms encircled her waist holding her up from falling. Lily's eyes squeezed shut, as she scraped her neck trying to stimulate any form of breathing. Though, when her eyes opened she watched as Lily looked at her in horror, hand grasping her mouth, digging so deep into her cheeks that it tore flesh. Tears swelled around her eyes as she struggled to breathe, her gaze only remained on Lily trying to imitate the way her chest rose and fell effortlessly, until keeping her eyes open proved to be a task too daunting for her body.

     It was all black. All that could be heard was the song being played as if it were miles away. Then everything became silent, and she realized she wasn't Venus because Venus was dead. She died that night. Her breaths ceased, while Lily's continued.

She wasn't Venus Wilson.

" — Are you coming?" Lily took a step back, hunching over to collect herself as if she'd died and come back to life. Her head rose once more to find the same man looking at her, the door open behind him, waiting for her to enter the way a hunter watches its prey enter a trap.

She looked at him and then his hand extended out for her to take. She stood up and watched...observed. Everything was the same, yet nothing was the same. Her gaze dropped to her own two hands, she sighed in relief when the glimmer of her complexion came into view.

"I'm Lily," she reassured herself. "I'm Lily Tran."

No, you're not, you died that night, Venus' voice rang free in her mind.

"No, no, no!" Lily scratched at her ears trying to get the voice of the serpent out of her head.

" — Dang Tran, did you pregame before you came over?" His husky voice forced her to place her attention on him. "Is it Trevor hooking you up? — I knew you wouldn't hang out with such a fuck-up if you weren't getting anything out of it. You know what, just apologize to Dominic and I'll take care of everything."

"W-what?" She gawked at him with a quizzical gaze.

She couldn't even protest before he'd looped his hand around her wrist and pulled her into the party she wasn't ready to step into. Lily shielded her eyes from the shining LED light strips that were lined around the ceiling of the house. Her ears throbbed as the bass grew louder and louder with each step she took into the house. It felt as though every part of her body begged for her to turn around and walk away, yet his hold on her wrist made it hard to remove herself from the scene altogether.

"I can't breathe," Lily whispered, tugging on his shirt sleeve. When she looked up at him she realized that he was too busy talking to his teammates rather than listening to her complaints. Lily slowly detached herself from him and swam out of the body of teenagers grinding and chattering. "I can't breathe," she stated once more, grasping a red solo cup before taking a sip of the contents. Even a swig of the drink wasn't enough to quench her dry throat. Lily looked around the room, lost in a sea of unknown people she could once name when she was at the top of the food chain along with Tyler and Venus.

She let out a sad chuckle that pained her to emit — she was pathetic. A woman that stood for nothing and fell for everything. That was what she was. She didn't even really know who Lily Tran was despite being her.

A familiar giggle pulled her away from the rabbit hole of self-deprecation she was walking down — Tyler. Lily turned around trying to find the origin of the sound, only to find his hand latched to another on the staircase. She gulped as she looked at the red hair, identical to that of the woman in their homeroom class. Lily snorted, before covering her mouth.

I'm going crazy, she thought, though even she couldn't ignore the aching in her chest after witnessing the sight of him holding another body against his.

Without her permission, her body walked towards the couple that exchanged drunken words of endearment they wouldn't remember tomorrow. Even if she trusted Tyler with her whole heart, she knew that the temptation of alcohol was something too strong for him to withhold.

Perhaps that was why her heart ached, because he'd broken another promise, not because there was a sense of jealousy that grew within her stomach witnessing her first love whisper similar sweet-nothings into the ears of a woman that spread rumors about his girlfriend — ex-girlfriend.

Lily couldn't help but think whether or not this was what Venus felt when she'd witnessed the two on so many occasions. How many times she'd convinced herself it was just a coincidence. How many times she'd ignored the rumors that she was being cheated on. Because that was all Lily was. A dirty little secret.

"I need air," she muttered, bolting up the stairs in search of a bathroom or vacant bedroom.

As if it were predestined, Lily's fingers wrapped around the doorknob belonging to the door at the end of the hall. The same way her fingers did that night. And like that night she prayed the door would be locked so that she could use it as an excuse to walk away. Although, as if it were predetermined the knob turned, allowing the door to open every so slowly, inviting her into the dimly lit room.

     She placed her left foot into the bedroom, then her right foot. Her back leaned against the door, letting it shut behind her. Her eyes darted from the nightstand, stacked with books, to the shelves containing various videogames. It was like the room was hers, with the way she knew where everything belonged. It felt as though she was experiencing deja-vu with each step she took further into the room.

"I'm so tired," she said as she stared ahead at the bed adorned with a white comforter that seemed to hold all the clouds of the sky in it.

Her eyes grew heavy as she continued to stare until her body jerked her awake. Lily blinked once, twice, three times until the blurriness reduced itself to nothing. Although to her dismay it felt as though she was looking at the world with fogged lenses. She turned around faced with two doors ahead of her, one leading to the exit and the other she hoped leading to a bathroom so she could relieve herself and freshen up.

Lily opted for the path of least resistance, waltzing towards the door only a mere two steps from her. She stepped into the bathroom and washed her face, relishing the sensation of cold water against her clammy skin. Lily pulled out her phone to check the time before she heard the door open and shut. Her head shot up to the door that acted as a barrier between her and the unknown world.

Her gaze fell once more on her phone only to startle her at the appearance of herself. She let out a soft yelp, trying to exit out of the camera app. Though the sound of a familiar voice froze her in place.

"Hello?" He called out on the other side.

When he received no response, his knuckles collided with the wood of the door, alarming Lily. She took a step back, cowering in fear as she tried to make sense of the situation while fighting off the drowsiness that had started to overcome her. The only way out was through that door. She could make a run for it, hide her face, and act as if she was never there.

"He made me invite her to the party... I was so drunk... she was so drunk."

The blood that was once frozen cold, burned at the memory that had been branded into her brain, and before she could stop herself and rethink her actions she yanked the door open. Fury raged in her irises, swimming freely for him to see. Although the moment her eyes landed on him the adrenaline that coursed through her body drained and the only emotion she could label was the feeling of disgust.

"Here I was looking for you, only for you to be in my room." Dominic winked at her.

"Move," Lily pushed him aside making a beeline towards the door, only to stop in her tracks when she felt his hand latch onto her wrist.

It was as if to remind her of why she came to his party. Why she'd suffered all those nights having to read his taunting messages and avoid those she held dear to her heart away from her. It was as if he were begging her to make him confess his sins. Perhaps that was why she found herself turning around, her back against the door to face the monster that had created a home in her mind along with Venus Wilson.

"Come on, Gabe said you wanted to say sorry to me." He raised both hands up, surrendering to her gaze.

"The only person who should be apologizing is you, to Kate." Lily snapped and with that, she watched as Dominic's playful demeanor switched out for a serious persona. "Do you think I'm some idiot, some girl that will fawn over you just because you gave me some attention? The only way I'll ever say sorry to a scumbag like you is if you confess what you did to Kate!" Her words came out slurred, her vision momentarily blurring.

"I didn't do anything, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Dominic stalked towards her, although Lily stood firm in her position across him not wavered by his tactics to intimidate her.

"Right, so those texts you've been sending her would be considered 'nothing' from what I'm getting," Lily scoffed.

"Texts?" Dominic chuckled, "fine, I sent some texts, arrest me." He held out his wrists waiting for Lily to pull out a set of handcuffs. "What happened between Kate and I was completely consensual. I mean if it was rape would she have finished? — She was practically moaning my name for everyone to —"

The rage in Lily's gut was something she couldn't control as he casually explained the night that irreversibly changed the course of Kate's life with such a careless expression. This time, it wasn't because she couldn't stop herself, but because she wanted to slap him, to make him realize the cost of his actions. And as she watched him caress his reddened cheek she only wished to make his life a living hell. The same hell Kate was enduring.

"You bitch," Dominic sneered, licking his bottom lip.

"Say something like that one more time Dominic, and I swear it won't even take me a minute to run downstairs and ruin your reputation. Do you seriously think that people are on your side? You just have a little money on your side — what is it Daddy's money that's letting you talk this much? Is that it?" Lily stalked towards him. "I can't wait until I have you on your fucking knees begging for someone to come to your rescue."

"Shut up, Tran. You don't scare me," he jeered, indifferent to her attempts at scaring him.

"But I do, don't I?" Lily taunted him, "otherwise why would you be so worked up, texting me so late into the night. Texting Kate, investigating my life and friends... if you're not scared of me then what are you?"

Dominic looked at her as if he were searching for an answer within her. It was like he was trying to find a hint of weakness in her the same way she was doing with him. The two remained there staring at one another, waiting for him to answer.

"See?" Lily shrugged her shoulders causing her to stumble back by the action. Although what she wasn't expecting was Dominic to take advantage of that simple mistake, and within moments she was on the bed.

The comforter she imagined to be as soft as the clouds that polluted the air felt like bricks against her back, her breath caught in her throat as she tried to roll off, but Dominic's arms caged her in. When she looked up at him, with a sense of urgency and fear clear in her expression she found him smiling at her helplessness.

"See?" Dominic challenged her, "now who's scared?"

"Get off me," Lily struggled under him before freeing herself from under him.

She held onto her stomach trying to not throw up in fear of what would have happened had she frozen in place. In fear of what would have happened had she been Kate. One look at Dominic was enough for her to realize that she couldn't do this, not tonight. Lily scurried towards the door, only for Dominic to follow her, and just as she grabbed the knob his arm snaked around her waist, pressing her body against his.

Her breathing grew shallow as she tried to scratch his arm, trying to escape from his hold.

"Now you've tempted me," Dominic's hot breath fanned over her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Let go of me, Dominic." To her surprise, his arm fell limp on his side.

Lily's eyes remained trained on the doorknob, and just as she was about to turn it, he spoke up.

"But don't you want to hear what happened that night?" Lily halted, "better yet, let me tell you a secret." His fingers brushed her hair aside so that he could rest his chin on her shoulder. The fear had struck Lily still, and the need for her to know everything kept her from awakening from the spell he'd cast. Even if she wanted to recoil from his unpleasant touch, her hand slipped from the doorknob. "Lock the door, Lily." He commanded, though when Lily didn't oblige, he caressed her hand and forced her to lock it. A tear slipped past her eyes, as different scenarios of what could possibly happen in a closed room with Dominic Bilyk processed in her mind.

"Let go of me," Lily whimpered, abandoning the notion that she was ever tough enough for the task she'd set out for. "Please."

"No can do, Tran. The fun has only started." He tsked, before turning her around. Lily looked up at Dominic who had the same sign of playfulness in his eyes as he did when he'd first walked in. It was as if he were eyeing his latest prey. "How about we make it fun for you too?" He raised his eyebrows at her, before stretching out to hold her hands. As he glanced at her, with her hand in his, there was a wickedness in his gaze. Even Lily couldn't guess what was to escape his mouth until it had. "You see..." he started, his hold on her hand becoming stronger as the expression in his eyes grew darker, "I know what you did the night Venus died."

The color from Lily's face paled and her mouth widened at the sound of his statement. It was as if every nerve in her body had gone comatose, and the only coherent thought she could form was, How?