CHAPTER FIVE

     THERE ARE TWENTY-FOUR hours in the day, one hundred and sixty-eight hours in a week, and one thousand four-hundred-eighty thousand nine hundred and twenty hours in seventeen years. Every hour humans are expanding their horizons, making mistakes, living life to the fullest. While another is living out their last hour that will be spent in their world. Some know when the time has come, a feeling just as inexplicable as life was, but they know. Their gut may have failed them countless times throughout their lives, but this time they know this is no feeling they can just brush off.

Humans are peculiar creatures, the second they realize that the hourglass' sand is draining down its last grains of sand, they realize what they truly wanted out of their life. Whether it be to tell their parents that they had been living out the wrong dreams they had been created for them since the first time they breathed in oxygen. Or something as simple as wanting to skydive. It is an instant reaction for humans to make a list of all the things they never did, and are probably never going to do. Humans are the most pessimistic species to have ever roamed this earth.

"I made a bucket list of everything I want to do before I die,"

"Really?"

"You want to know the first thing that's on the list?"

Silence.

"You,"

Laughter...Hugging... Kissing...

Laughter. Hugging. Kissing. Laughter. Hugging. Kissing. Fighting. Lying. Cheating. Hugging. Kissing. Laughter. Hugging. Kissing. Lying. Dying.

     How does something as beautiful and pure as love become such a vile and terrible thing many grow to fear as their lives progress? Why does love always find its way back onto that imaginary bucket list people have created for themselves? It's quite simple if a person were looking into the picture from the outside, but no one is capable of doing so, so long as they breathe. But those who have perished may have realized the conundrum many humans can't crack throughout their lifetime. Humans are made for love, made to love, made to spread the love. Although no one ever mentions the side effects of love.

"Leave me and I'll go crazy trying to get you back,"

Madness.

"You'd fight anyone for me?"

Madness.

"I'd turn this whole world upside down to find you,"

Madness.

"Do you love me that much?"

Love...?

+ + +

     Holding hands is the most innocent ways to show affection between two lovers. But today everyone did not hold each other's hands out of love, or happiness, they held hands in solidarity among one another. They were not strong enough to stand alone so they pleadingly asked those around them for a shoulder to lean on. No words exchanged, just knowing looks. Scientists have claimed almost 75% of communication used around the world is body language, not English, Mandarin, Hindi, but body language. Being able to look at someone across the room at a party and know that they didn't want to be there just by the way their back remained glued to the wall. Being able to look at someone across the bed and knowing they don't love you anymore. Being able to communicate without words, isn't that the most fatal language?

'You look at her like she's the sun!'

'You know how I feel about her and how I feel about you, it's—I can't explain it!'

'Why can't you just leave her?'

'I just... I just can't,'

'Then leave me.'

     Leaving someone is the easiest part of a relationship. However, sticking around and watching how each partner slowly destroys one another until there are only ashes of their once beautiful relationship is what mostly happens. Only one thing holds humans as a species back. Fear. The fear of regret, of guilt, of responsibility. A force that even the strongest of loves cannot reckon with. A fear that grows inside everyone like a weed; there's a thing about weeds people forget if it doesn't get pulled out right then more will grow in its place.

"—Venus Wilson, a soul that will remain forever young, a child who has gone far too soon..."

Sniffles.

Lily floated out of the trance that had taken her away from her attention for far too long and focused back on the pastor who went on about Venus Wilson. At times Lily didn't know whether to scoff or roll her eyes at the utter bullshit of all this. She may not have known a lot about Venus but she did know that she was an atheist. Tyler hated that, being the strict Catholic drug addict he was, he believed that it was his responsibility to guide her towards the 'light' of God.

It took one name for her entire attention to shift from the closed casket to Tyler who sat in the first row of the old church. His back was turned towards her, though even from the second last row she sat in, she could tell he was crying. Perhaps it was the way he would slide his palms up and down his thigh trying to rid the sweat, just like he would do before the night before a big game. Or the way he kept looking back at the door, nervously, not once noticing Lily.

'A guy like Tyler would never look at a girl like you,'

A sad smile found its way onto her features, perhaps if she let her tears flow at a funeral it would go unnoticed. Almost everyone, besides the few reporters who were allowed in, had damp, red cheeks from crying too much.

Did they even know the person in that casket was the reason for so many other deaths?

Did they know how many lives Venus Wilson had ended just by the flick of a finger?

Did they know anything?

'Oh my God!' Lily stammered out, crouching down to press her index finger and middle finger against Venus' neck.

No pulse? Pulse? No pulse? Pulse?

'—Karma's a bitch, that was what you used to say, right Venus?'

Lily's eyes widened at the sound of a gruff voice and she quickly slid under the bed pull down the blanket to cover herself.

She bit onto her hand trying not to cry aloud.

'Little, ruthless Venus dug herself a grave, caught in her own web of lies with only enemies bury her name...'

Breathe Lily.

'Breathe for me Lily, I'm going to take you home and I want you to not tell anyone about what you saw tonight, can you do that?'

'She's not a fucking kid! She got herself into this, so she stays! There's no get out of jail card!'

She got herself into this. She got herself into this. She got herself into this.

     Her eyes danced around the room in a lethargic manner. Breathe. Her mind hollered, but the simple command was too much, too hard for her. Breathe Lily. But how could she breathe when the girl who laid in that casket could've been saved? How could she look at Tyler in the eyes and tell him it was going to be okay when she knew it wasn't going to be okay?—Breathe.

A cold sweat broke out on her forehead, her hand instantly reaching to wipe it away as the camera panned around the room. Breathe. They're watching you, Lily. Her eyes looked straight into the lens of the camera, as the light shined throughout the church. Lily leaned back, trying to focus on the cameraman who turned back to the pastor. Her eyes squinted into slits as she tried to make sense of the blurry mess she called her world, but the pieces weren't fitting into the puzzle. Her hand rose once again to wipe away the tears, but there were none. She couldn't see. Panic settled in her stomach, and her breaths began to grow even choppier. By now the people around her had started taking notice in her physical state.

Lily bit down on her lip, folding her hands together and shoving them in between her legs so the tremors would stop. She took in a short breath and focused back on the pastor.

"Is she okay...?" She heard a low murmur come from her side.

Breathe.

Something as automatic as breathing had become such a hard task for Lily as she sat watching everyone pray over the girl she saw murdered a week ago.

'Oh my God!' Lily stammered out, crouching down to press her index finger and middle finger against Venus' neck.

No pulse? Pulse? No pulse? Pulse?

"Tyler," Lily breathed out, focusing on the boy who ducked his head in prayer for his ex-girlfriend.

A drowsy smile danced on her lips as she watched the boy who had stolen her first kiss in the summer of sophomore year look around the room in a hasty manner. She could feel them now, the tears that had possibly been cascading down her cheeks for the whole time but she didn't make an effort to wipe them away. All that mattered was that Tyler was looking for her for comfort.

"I can't take it!" Tyler shrieked, all heads snapping up from their laps to the boy with the tear-stricken face. "I can't!" He looked right through Lily, before running down the aisle and out the front doors of the church.

Lily looked, along with the others at the open doors of the church and when enough time had passed she slipped out of her seat nonchalantly. The only people who had noticed her disappearance would be the old couple that had been seated beside her. It was easy to look for a six foot three inch giant in a field of dead flowers. It was especially easy when it was Lily looking for Tyler. Her feet danced behind softly behind his rough, loud ones, bringing a smile to her face.

"Go away, Tran," Tyler hissed, not once turning to face her. Lily stopped dead in her tracks, "I know you're following me, you're not as quiet as you think,"

"I..." but that was the only thing she could cough out through her choppy breaths.

"Fuck," He whimpered out succumbing to the ground covered with a thin blanket of snow. "I lost her."

'I lost her.' His voice echoed in her mind, he didn't want Lily, even if Venus was dead he still didn't want her.

"Tyler," Lily stalked towards his slouched figure."Tyler," her hand hovered over his shoulder that bounced up and down, in between the loud, shallow sobs he let out.

"She can't really be gone!" He roared, standing up on his two feet once again. Except now he faced Lily, looming over her. For a split second, the rage that swam in his eyes softened at the sight of her tired ones, but the rage found its way back again. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He snapped, looking at her hand still in the air. Lily followed his gaze and gently lowered her hands, too scared to anger him even more.

"I came to see if you were okay..." she whispered so quietly that the wind could've drowned out her voice.

That was how they were, Tyler was a storm no one wanted to be caught in and Lily was the curious little girl who would always find herself in the middle of it.

"Do I fucking look okay, Tran?" His hand cupped her chin rather harshly, forcing her to look up from the ground and into his eyes filled with rage, pain, sorrow... but no love for her.

"Tyler," she whimpered out, struggling under the grip he had on her jaw. At the sound of his name coming out of her mouth, his grip tightened. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, forcing themselves to pool over and onto her cheeks. "You're hurting me!"

"Weren't we hurting her when we decided to go out behind her back?" He chuckled darkly, "or is that not classified as hurting someone, Tran?"

"Tyler!" Balled up fists pushed him away far enough for her to breathe the air she was being deprived of.

"Oh, does it not feel good?" He walked over to her once again, "tell me, Lily, does it make your skin crawl knowing that you were about to fuck a dead girl's boyfriend the night she died?"

'You look at her like she's the sun!'

'You know how I feel about her and how I feel about you, it's--I can't explain it!'

'Why can't you just leave her?'

'I just... I just can't,'

'Then leave me.'

"I can't breathe,"

"I can't breathe either, Tran! Do you know how it feels knowing that I could've spent that night with her and she could've been here today with me..." a sob racked through his body, "but I was too busy fucking around with you?" He spat, venom laced in each word.

'Oh my God!' Lily stammered out, crouching down to press her index finger and middle finger against Venus' neck.

No pulse? Pulse? No pulse? Pulse?

"I can't breathe," a whimper escaped from between her lips.

'I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe,'

'Someone shut her up!'

''—We have to do something with the body!'

"Fuck, Tran," He laughed out, scaring Lily. "Why did you actually come today, did you want another celebratory fuck, your little enemy is gone! Aren't you happy, Lily?"

"You don't love her, Tyler," his eyes grew large at that statement, the taunting tone of his voice, in his laughter, was gone with the wind. Only rage masked his features, by the way, he grabbed onto her arms, draped in black lace sleeves. "You don't love me, you don't love her, you don't even love yourself." Lily spat, the grip on her arms tightening. Her breaths had grown shallower, everything was blurry again, though she refused to back down. "What type of person cheats on Venus Wilson?" She chuckled out, "you just needed something to put your dick in, and you found a desperate little—" a loud scream rang through the skies, alarming the birds as well as the leaves that seemed to rustle due to the intensity of the howl.

"Who are you?" He muttered out in disbelief, "what happened to you?" Eyes once masked away unable for Lily to read were now as easy as reading English, he was scared. Just like her, he was scared.

"Venus Wilson happened," Lily spoke, not missing a single beat in her answer.

The hold on her arms she had grown accustomed to was gone now. The only thing that blanketed her now was the cold air. Lily watched as he walked into the forest, it was best for her not to follow him once again. There are some things that one must leave alone in order for time to fix it, Tyler Meyers was one of those things. It felt as if just as quick as she had cracked him, she had managed to lose him.

"—I can't breathe," reality set in, the black spots grew larger every time she blinked.

Lily turned around watching as her limbs followed in a lethargic manner. She looked over at the church door, shutting her eyes to rid the spots that fogged her vision. Every movement took one second too long, maybe that was why she was unable to catch herself as she fell to the ground too tired to stand.

"You could've helped!" A voice hummed in her ears, "You could have saved me," her eyes opened again only to come face to face with Venus.

Lily let out a loud shriek, but no one could hear her.

"I didn't kill you," Lily wrapped her dainty fingers around the grass beside her, "I tried to save you!"

The testimony racked all the energy out of her body.

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thank you everyone for reading, please remember to comment any feedback and vote for this chapter! who's your favourite character so far and who seems a little sketchy?