"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero."

-Marc Brown

I can hear him enter the house when he gets home, slamming a door has that effect on an otherwise empty house. While I have made sure my door is shut I never did bother flipping the lock. Rookie mistake number one. After Ben and I fought in the back of the funeral home I took off like a bat out of hell and went straight to the cemetery. Someone better slap me if I ever take Sean for granted. It only took him five minutes to get out to the car. He also didn't ask any questions.

My second rookie mistake? Ignoring Liam. I love my brother dearly but when things don't go the way that he has assumed they would he tends to meddle. Trying to talk to me when Christopher is being lowered into the ground wasn't our finest moment. Thinking about it now though if I had talked to him then he wouldn't be stomping down the hallway and throwing my door open.

"Pack your things and get in the car Kindra."

Liam's voice bounces off the walls of my room, making it sound a lot louder than it is. Catching sight of him standing in my doorway, his calculating gaze borderline angry, he watches me. I let out an aggravated groan knowing that whatever he's plotting I won't like nor follow along with.

"No." I counter, rolling onto my stomach and burying my face into my pillow before pulling the covers over my head. "Go away."

I can hear Liam sigh loudly, probably to make sure I know he's glaring at me. "Since Sean won't say it I will. You are being ridiculous and immature about this. All he has ever done is be there for you and this is how you act when you find out he's been playing by your rules?"

I can feel the tears hot in my eye sockets as Liam chastises me. Liam being angry with me isn't something I can handle after just finishing possibly the worst day of my life. I just put my father in the ground, said goodbye to him forever and he wants to stand there lecturing me about Ben. So what if it's over. So what if what he says is true. I don't want to think about it right now and I'm angry he's trying to make me.

"What is wrong with you!?" I wail, throwing the covers off of myself and sitting up. "Christopher is gone Liam. Can't I grieve in peace?"

Liam's stare doesn't waver, staying firm and unyielding. "You just spent the last four days grieving in the arms of that guy you just shoved out of your life. Has it ever once occurred to you that he cares about you?"

"Why do you even care?!" I sob, hiding my tears behind my palms as I attempt to make myself smaller. My entire body feels like a black hole, void and empty, slowly collapsing. All I want is for the pain to leave me and the only time I can't feel it is after crying myself to sleep.

"Because," Liam sighs seating himself on the bed next to me and wrapping an arm around me. He pulls me into his side like the many times he has in the past. "I have watched you two the last six years do this dance and be honest Kindra, if you two didn't care for each other on some level you wouldn't be here right now."

I lean into my brother, allowing him to comfort me. Am I really so desperate to allow him to comfort me moments after yelling at me? He's not wrong. It's been six years since we met Ben online and in that time we have fought more times than I can remember. I've stopped speaking to him at times and even though I've been so mad at him I swore I'd never talk to him again I still did.

"I don't know how to forgive him this time." I sob in desperation. If I could see how it would make things so much easier but all I see is my broken trust. Maybe this time is different and there is nothing left.

Liam gives me a little squeeze. "Maybe it starts with admitting to yourself that you will."

We sit there for almost fifteen minutes. That's how long it takes for my tears to ease and while I still don't understand how this will be okay I'm okay with it once again. The numb feeling I need has taken over, making breathing achievable.

"We're taking the next week off and going out of town. I can pack your bag if you want." Liam offers quietly resting his cheek on the top of my head. I don't want to go, not even a little. It sounds exhausting and I'm already so very tired. But I know he's not going to take no as an answer.

"Knock yourself out," I mumble, giving in to whatever plans he's arranged. I know that deep down he always has my best interests at heart. Maybe that's why it's so easy to cave.

Liam removes his arm from around me and begins to make his way over to my closet where he begins to shuffle around. I sit there watching Liam's back as he starts to pull a few shirts off their hangers. I need to be more grateful for him too...

"I still don't want to go." I mumble, wanting Liam to know that despite agreeing to go I am doing it under protest.

"It's the ocean, I think you'll be fine," Liam responds, raising to his feet and heading over to my dresser, giving me a small smile on his way. "A week in the sand, listening to the ocean should really help clear your head."

He waists no time opening the bottom drawer and begins selecting a few pairs of pants, shorts, and leggings. All of which join the crumpled shirts in the duffle bag he managed to find in the back of my closet. He's not wrong, the desire to go is increasing. The water, ocean breeze, and warm sand sound just what my tired body needs.

"Where?" I ask scooting to the edge of the bed, letting Liam know that I am now intrigued.

"Clari's," Liam says, exiting my room and heading down the hall, no doubt on the way to the bathroom to grab my essentials.

He can't see since he's down the hall but I try my hardest to stifle my snort. When he said the beach I imagined maybe a hotel next to the beach. Going to his sick girlfriend's place doesn't sound like it will be as relaxing as he claims.

"Because that's less depressing than here," I mutter to myself only to look up and find Liam standing in the doorway watching me a smirk on his lips.

"Do you want to stay here and talk to Ben then?" He counters pegging me with a serious look.

I drop eye contact and begin to play with my bedding. There is no doubt in my mind that he will make me talk with Ben if we stay. The thought alone brings an overwhelming feeling to the surface. Whether Liam wants me to or not I still don't know if I can forgive Ben. I need to figure out how I feel before I talk to him. Our chemistry is undeniable and all it would take is one kiss to undo me.

"Do I need to pack your underwear for you too?" Liam asks, bringing my attention back to his face as he now stares at me with raised eyebrows.

"Eww, no." I object with force, my lips contorting in disapproval. I may be the definition of a hot mess but I'm fully capable of packing my own underwear.

Liam drops the toiletries he's fetched from the bathroom into the bag before turning back to me a small smile on his lips.

"Just give it a chance, okay?" He says before leaving the room.

I stare at the bag sitting in the middle of the room. The desire to go is back to where it started, I'd much rather sulk in my own bed than in a strange place in a bed that's not mine but the alternative is talking to Ben. If I had to choose between the two I'd chose the strange bed and Liam knows that. He's cornered me and as always he did it with ease. I'm not sure if I hate him or love him at the moment.

With a sigh, I slide off my bed and go open my top dresser drawer to finish packing. After crying my body has been left with a numb feeling which is exactly what I want. It's better than falling apart, better than feeling. Every time I fall apart it just reminds me that I care even though I want more than anything to not to. I know my heart won't be able to take it if I'm honest with myself.

My phone vibrates loudly from my desk as a soft melody drifts from its speakers hitting my heart with the force of a semi-truck.

Ben.

I stare down at my phone as the tears well in my eyes once again. I hate that he can make me feel this way, alone and loved all at the same time. Maybe that's on me... I watch as the call goes to voicemail and wonder if he will leave one. If he did can I even stand to hear his voice? Not a chance. Instead of a voicemail notification popping up a text comes through.

My biggest mistake was not
fighting for you last time.
You know I never make the
same mistake twice.

I can't help the wave of longing that rocks me as I let a small chuckle slip through my tears. Anytime he's ever fucked up in a raid one thing I could always count on is it won't happen again. His words hold a promise that I'm not sure how to react to. He isn't going to just disappear and give me what I've asked for. No, he's going to fight for me. Except we aren't in a game anymore and in the real world it's damn near impossible to not make the same mistake twice.