"She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings."

-Ariana Dancu

Ella is the type of girl that make her own rules and follows none. She makes her own path and if you don't want to be on it with her then there's no room for you in her life. She knows what she wants and she doesn't settle for anything less.

That's why it's killing me to hear her so broken.

We've been in discord for over an hour now and with every sentence, I learn more about her life and the utter shit show it's become in the last two months.

I feel bad for her, but I also know she doesn't need, nor want, someone to pity her. She deserves much better than that. What she needs right now is for someone to listen, to let her lean on them and offer stability in her otherwise unstable life. I want it to be me who provides that and hope she is finally granting me that role.

Unfortunately, last time that happened I got iced out for almost a year and I'm now afraid if I broach the subject again history will repeat itself.

So I sit there and listen. I listen to her tell the story of her brother turning out to be a bully, how he's now home to make amends and how she in return accused him of chasing a dying girls chastity belt. I listen while she confesses that she confronted her father out of anger and is the daughter in a same-sex household so she doesn't actually have a mother. It made her recall of the heartbreaking story her father told of her other father's affair and family that much more screwed up.

I also listen to her cry. Not a sobbing sort of cry but a dignified weep that only Ella can manage to pull off. The whole situation has my head reeling and it's making me kick myself for walking away three years ago instead of fighting for her. Could easily be the biggest mistake of my life.

"I'm sorry, you must be tired of listening to my sob story." Ella sighs into her mic.

She can't see the smile on my lips as she speaks, though I really wish she'd be open to the idea of turning on the webcams. "Despite what you think Ella, I actually prefer the open communication," I reply with honesty.

She hums in acknowledgment, adding her chime-like chuckle to the end. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me." She retorts with a yawn. "I don't know why I'm so tired all of a sudden." She mumbles under her breath.

Her words are muffled as she yawns again and this time it's my turn to yawn and laugh. "We have been talking for the last three hours." I point out.

Even though it's been three hours it feels like far less. With Ella, I can talk to her all night and not notice, but that's how it is when you enjoy another person's company. I'm getting the feeling that she's experiencing the same thing however I have yet to come up with a way to broach the subject and now isn't the right time for that conversation anyhow.

"I should probably head to bed."

Her voice has fallen an octave, now a soft murmur in my ear, sweet and peaceful. It makes me long for the days when we would talk on discord until we fell asleep, sometimes waking up in the morning with our call still going. It was during one of those extended calls our whole relationship had changed.

The urge to use her name has been strong all night but it's a battle I'm slowly losing as her voice becomes laced with sleepiness. It's stirring all the old memories up from years past along with all the emotions and making me question if maybe we have both grown enough to try again.

"Call me when you get home tomorrow?"

Ella hums in response again. "Mhmm..."

I chuckle to myself as I realize she must have crawled into bed a while ago and is now dozing. Just like old times, I think to myself as I boot up my game and log onto Arkies. As my avatar comes to life and I begin to start my world quests I decide that before I close our communications I should ask if she wants me to or not.

"Should I let you sleep?"

Ella lets out a long drawn out sigh before giving me an answer that damn near leaves me breathless.

"No, I like listening to you play."