"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

-Albert Einstein

"Can we at least talk about this?" Liam stands in the kitchen archway as I begin to strain the pasta for my macaroni and cheese dinner.

We have been "talking" since we got home, except it's more Liam trying to get me to talk and me throwing up my walls because why would I trust him with my feelings? I'm starting to crack though, after an hour of constant bombardment I want someone to completely lean on. It's hard keeping everything inside about something so life-changing. It's hard resisting the person who used to be my crutch for so many years and honestly Aaron isn't as rock solid as I hopped. Not for this at least.

"Liam I don't want to talk about it." I groan, trying to stay angry at the only person who I had a hard time being mad at growing up. Funny how all these childhood memories are flying back. I'm starting to get annoyed.

"Just because you bottle it up doesn't mean that it will go away." Liam preaches for what seems like the sixth time in the last hour.

"Maybe it would be easier to let it all out if I knew you were sincere." I grit out, reacting rather than calculating now.

Liam falls quiet. I'm sure he knows he's anything but trustworthy, not after the bullshit he's pulled on me trying to "protect" me. It's going to take a serious act of God for me to magically hand over my trust the way he's asking me to.

"Sometimes it takes a certain person in this world to make you see what you had failed to see before you had met them." Liam's voice is quiet, like he's reading a manuscript and speaking to the room rather than a specific person.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. Liam doesn't sound like himself. No playful slight;y mocking tone or charming smile. He's being serious, a side of him I rarely see that made me uncomfortable and extremely skeptical.

"When I met Clari, she opened my eyes to a part of the world I hadn't been able to see before."

I can't help but roll my eyes. "The girl." I mock, remember how Sean had told me the first night he was here that there was a girl. Who would have thought Liam of all people would succumb to the shenanigans of a woman. I'm sure if Liam could see me rolling my eyes he would be throwing his mathematics key at me.

"Kindra, one day you will meet someone who has a profound impact on you. It's an experience hard to describe."

A few words in his attempt to sway me are tolerable, I can easily throw them in the discard pile without blinking. I can see and hear his conviction though, which brings me into a state of worry for him but also believing in his words as well. "Liam, why should I believe anything that comes out of your mouth?" I ask, setting my finished bowl of cheesy goodness down at the table as I seat myself.

"Because only someone like Clari has this outlook on life that makes you question everything you've ever done or believed."

I shovel a spoon full of pasta into my mouth and hum in mocking agreement. "Sure. That's what all guys say when they are getting laid regularly." I mutter, poking yet another hole in his master plan that I have yet to figure out.

My tactics must be working because Liam lets out an annoyed chuckle. "We're not sleeping together." He grits through his clenched jaw.

The way my eyebrows shoot up towards my hairline shows my disbelief in his statement. It is so unlike Liam to go for a goodie goodie church girl but if chasing chastity belts is his thing now more power to him. "Oh, so you like chasing the celibate ones now?" I tease with a sly smile as I slip into obnoxious sister mode.

"She's sick Kindra. Stop being immature." Liam snaps standing up suddenly from the table we have both been sitting at. "You know what, never mind. You weren't listening anyway."

At this point, my spoon is frozen in my mouth as I stare at Liam unsure if he's being serious but quickly see that he is as serious as Grampa's heart attack last June. "Liam I didn't.."

He doesn't give me the chance to even finish. "Yeah you didn't know, but it shouldn't take someone dying for you to listen Kindra."

With that, he leaves the kitchen and me behind. The kitchen is how it always is but I'm a different story. I'm deeply rattled. The guilt hangs to my chest, unwilling to move. I can see our conversation replaying in my head and I don't like what I see.

It had been a while since I've acted like a spoiled bratty princess and let me tell you, it doesn't make me feel too hot. When Liam first came home I had been furious with him and when he started working at the school I was a little scared. There are so many strings that come with his return home, some of which I wish I had left alone.

It's hard to admit that in the back of my mind I thought if I iced him out, maybe said a few choice words, I could hurt him as badly as he hurt me. Somehow it seemed like justice in my mind for how much pain he had inflicted on me. Now that I'm here and can clearly see in his eyes I have hurt him, I realize I've made a mistake.

I feel guilty and lost, not a completely unfamiliar feeling considering I feel as if confused is my default setting these days.

His girlfriend is sick, maybe even dying and he's suffering along with her when he doesn't have to. He's staying by her side, a choice Liam's making himself. It gives me a little hope that maybe he's changed. Maybe, just maybe this Clari does have a profound impact on him and he just might be worthy of my trust again.

Until that one stray thought enters my mind, the one that always causes everything good to unravel. Why isn't Clari here?