( SOUTHERN COMFORT )

KEARNEY, MISSOURI

HOUSE
[ ☾]

       A car pulls up and parks outside a house. In a covered area next to the house, a Man is underneath his car working on it and listening to a radio. A Woman walks up and stands near the Man's feet.

       "Hey, hon. Just in time. Grab me a cold one, would ya?" He says.

        "Why don't you have Sara Alcott get it for you?" She asks angrily.

       "What?" He asks. The woman kicks away the jack that was holding up the car. "Aaah! Oh, my God! Mary, help! Mary, what are you doing? Mary, what are you doing? Mary!" Mary gets in the car and starts the engine. "Help me!" Mary drives away as the Man screams. Blood splatters a refrigerator upon which there is a large sticker that reads "The South Will Rise Again."

SUPERNATURAL

FAT MACK'S RIB SHACK
[ ☼ ]

       Dean is leaning against the Impala checking his phone. Sam and Elena walk up carrying a bag of food and drinks. "Heads up." Sam hands Dean a drink and walks to the passenger side of the Impala.

      "I caught wind of a case on this police scanner. Sounds like our kind of thing." Dean says.

      "We weren't even gone ten minutes." Elena says.

      "Okay. That matters why?" Dean asks.

       "I don't know, Dean. How about because you haven't said a word to Sam since Prentiss Island?" Elena asks.

       "And now, what? You want me to shut up and ride shotgun and act like nothing happened?" Sam asks.

      "You want to talk about Benny? Fine. Let's talk." Dean says.

      "Okay. How about he's a vampire?"

      "He's also the reason I'm topside and not roasting on a spit in Purgatory." Dean says. "Anything else?"

      "Don't pretend I don't get it. I know you had to do what you had to down there." Sam says.

      "I highly doubt you get anything about Purgatory."

      "But you're out now, and Benny's still breathing. Why?"

       "He's my friend, Sam." Dean says.

       "And what about my friend, Amy? She was what?" Sam asks. "Cause you sure as hell didn't have a problem ganking her."

      "Well, I guess people change, don't they? We let that werewolf Kate go, didn't we?"

      "She was different. She – you think Benny's different?" Dean asks. "He tell you he's not drinking live blood, or something? And you believe him. Wow. Okay. You know, you're right. People do change."

       "Yeah. I got a vampire buddy, and you turn your phone off for a year."

      "Don't turn this on me." Sam says.

      "Look, Benny slips up and some other hunter turns his lights out, so be it." Dean says.

       "But it's not gonna be you, right?" Sam says.

       "You coming or not?" Dean gets into the car.

HOUSE
[ ☼ ]

       An ambulance leaves the driveway as the Impala pulls up and parks on the street outside the house. Dean, Elena and Sam are wearing their FBI suits. "So, guy's old lady comes home while he's working underneath his ride, puts the pedal to the metal, and takes half his head off." Dean says.

       "What, that's it?" Sam asks.

      "Yeah, in a nutshell." Dean says. "She says she blacked out, doesn't remember a damn thing."

      "Well, that sounds like insanity." Elena says.

      "Maybe."

      "So, how does that make this our kind of thing?" Sam asks.

      "Because, Sam, Kevin's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?" Dean gets out of the car.

      Dean, Elena and Sam walk up to a Sheriff's line outside the house and hold up their badges. "Whoa, whoa. FBI?" A Deputy asks.

      "Yeah, happened to be in the neighborhood." Sam says.

      "First a Texas Ranger, now you guys?" He asks.

      "Texas Ranger?" Dean asks.

      "Yes, sir. Right over there." The Deputy points to Garth, who is interviewing a witness. He is wearing a cowboy hat and tasseled leather jacket

      "Oh, you got to be kidding me." Dean says. Music plays as Garth takes off his hat and fans himself in slow motion. They walk over to him. "Hey, Chuck Norris."

      "Sam? Elena? Dean!"

      "Shh." Sam says as Garth laughs and hugs him. "Forgot he was a hugger."

     "Come here!" Garth yells.

      "All right. Okay." Dean says as Garth hugs him, then Elena. "We're still – we're still working here."

       "Uh, you guys have no idea how much I missed you." Garth says.

       Dean turns to the Witness. "Um, excuse us, would you?" He asks.

       "Yeah, we'll be right back." Garth says as he, Elena, Dean, and Sam walk a short distance away from the witness.

       "A Texas Ranger, Garth? Seriously? We're in Missouri." Dean says.

       "What? Come on." Garth says. "I look like a funeral director in one of those. Wow. I heard some chatter you two were back in the batter's box, but I didn't believe it till now." A cell phone plays Kris Kross' "Jump." Garth opens his jacket to reveal three phones in a row in separate pockets. "Oh, uh, one sec. Um..." He answers one of the phones. "Yo, Earl. What you got? A revenant. Okay, uh, you'll need a casket and some silver spikes. Oh, and don't get bit. No, it won't turn you, but it will hurt like hell. Okay, so, once you got all that, nail that sucker in, bury him, and throw away the key. Okay? All right. Hasta."

      "What are you doing?" Dean asks.

      "My job, hombre."

      "Your job?" Asks Dean.

      "Yeah." Garth says.

      "And since when is giving advice your job?"

      "Hold up. Are you the new Bobby?" Sam asks.

      "You shut your mouth." Dean says.

       "Yes."

       "You shut your mouth!" Dean yells. "What?"

       "Bobby was gone. You two were MIA. It was a weird time. Somebody had to step in and take up the slack." Garth says. "All right. Let's just get back to work, and we'll talk about this later, all right?" He walks away.

      "Did Garth just tell us what to do?" Dean asks.

       After a moment, they all follow Garth, who has returned to the Witness. "Uh, Scott Lew. These guys here are with the FBI. Mr. Lew's parents were the individuals involved in this... unfortunate situation." Garth says.

       "Sorry for your loss." Elena says.

      "Just a few questions, Mr. Lew. Um, by any chance were your parents having... marital problems?" Sam asks.

      "No. Uh, no more than anyone else."

      "What about your mother's health?" Sam asks. "Any chance this was a seizure, a stroke, anything that might help explain this?"

      "I don't think so. Um, they're checking her out at the, um, hospital right now." Scott says.

       "What about stranger behavior?" Asks Dean.

       "Stranger? How?"

       "Hearing voices, seeing things – your mother mention anything like that?" Asks Dean.

        "My parents were married for 30 years – high-school sweethearts." Scott says. "There's no good explanation for why this happened, no matter where you want to look."

       "Okay, well, thank you, Scott. We'll be in touch." Garth says as Scott walks away. Dean looks Garth up and down.

       Sam is on one knee using an EMF reader in the covered area where the older Mr Lew worked on his car. "No EMF. No traces of sulfur anywhere. Like I thought – bust." Sam says.

       "Hold on there, Sam. There's a lot of things to factor in here." Garth says. "Uh, it happened last night, so the readings could be cold by now."

      "Good point." Dean says.

       "And, uh, even if there was any sulfur, Barney Fife and his crew probably contaminated the whole crime scene and any evidence that was here with it."

       "Wow. He's on a roll." Dean says.

      "That's one word for it." Elena says.

       "Uh, guys, I think I found something." Garth lifts a foot. Green goo is stuck to the bottom of his boot.

      "Is that gum, or is that ectoplasm?" Asks Dean.

      "Ectoplasm is usually black, right?" Sam asks.

       Garth tastes the green goo. "Mm." He says as Sam and Dean grimace. "Definitely ectoplasm." Sam and Dean look at each other. "So, what are we thinking – uh, some kind of ghost, right?" Dean snaps his fingers.

      One of Garth's cell phones plays Kool Moe Dee's "Wild Wild West." He answers it. "Uh, Ranger McCrae here." He says.

      "One of those things rings Hammer, I'm throwing down." Dean says.

      "Oh, great. Okay. Okay." Garth writes on his palm. "Thanks, Doc." He hangs up. "Asked the coroner to drop me a line in case the autopsy turned up anything... unusual. And guess what. Our dead guy had the word "Alcott" He shows Sam and Dean his palm, on which he's written the word. "...carved into his chest."

      "With what?" Elena asks.

      "Coroner's best guess? His wife Mary's fingernails."

HOSPITAL
[ ☼ ]

       Sam, Dean, Elena and Garth are standing next to Mary Lew's bed, to which she is handcuffed. A Sheriff stands guard outside the room. "Mrs. Lew, can you tell us what happened?" Sam asks.

       "I was at the store getting groceries, and the next thing I know, my son Scott finds me in the driveway. And Chester was..." She starts.

       "Do you remember anything at all about what happened?" Sam asks. "Um... Chester dying?"

       "Not really. Bits and pieces, I guess." Mary says and Garth starts to giggle. He looks at Dean and Sam and turns his giggle into a cough.

       "Such as?" Dean asks.

       "I remember his screams... the smell of burnt rubber, and... I remember feeling so angry – just uncontrollable rage, like I wasn't myself." Mary says. "And after it was over, all that anger was – just gone."

       "Uh, ma'am, does the word "Alcott" mean anything to you?" Garth asks.

       Mary clenches a hand into a fist and tugs against the handcuff chaining her to the bed. "What does she have to do with anything?" She asks.

      "It's a she?" Elena asks.

       "My husband, Chester, and I were going steady in high school for a few years already when we had a big fight."

       "What about?" Dean asks.

       "Something stupid, I'm sure. It was around prom, and so he took Sara Alcott as his date instead of me." Mary says.

       "So, this Sara Alcott was a rival for your husband's affections?" Garth asks.

       "Sara had one night with him, whereas I was with Chester for 37 years." She starts to cry.

       "Of course, right. Sure. Um, just one more question. Um... Is... Ms. Alcott still alive?" Sam asks.

       "As far as I know, yes." She says.

       "Thank you very much, Mrs. Lew."

       Later, Dean, Sam, Elena and Garth walk towards the Impala. "Let me get this straight. This poor guy goes to prom with some girl over 30 years ago, and because of that, he is now a pancake?" Dean asks.

       "I mean, if this is a ghost, maybe it's some sort of possession?" Sam asks.

       "What are you talking about? You heard her. Alcott's alive." Dean says.

      "Well, we're definitely gonna want to talk to her." Garth says.

      "Yeah, sounds like a plan. Did we eat yet?"

BAR
[ ☼ ]

        Dean, Sam, Elena and Garth are eating at a table. A Waitress brings another plate. "There you go." She says.

       "Mmm. Thanks. Keep 'em coming." Garth says.

      "All right."

     Garth begins talking with his mouth full. "So, Dean, give me the skinny. Where were you this past year?" He asks.

      Dean is eating a burger and Sam is eating what appears to be a chicken salad. Elena has a small sandwich placed in front of her. Several plates they appear to have finished with are on the table.

      "Why don't we save what I did on my summer vacation for another time?" Dean asks.

       "Aw, come on."

       "All right. I was in Purgatory." Dean says.

      "Like the Purgatory Purgatory?" Garth asks.

      "No, the one in Miami." Dean says.

      "Man, that's balls."

      "That's not how you say 'balls'." Dean says.

      "So how'd you get out?" Garth asks. Sam makes a show of looking at Dean.

       Dean looks around at a Confederate flag on the wall. "What's up with all the, uh, hillbilly hankies? These people know the Civil War's over, right?" He asks.

       "Mm. That's a touchy subject around these parts. See, Missouri was a border state." Garth says. "So, half the men were Confederate, the other half were the Union."

       "How do you know all this?"

      "I went to college." Garth says.

       "You went to college?" Sam asks.

       "Yeah. College, and on to dental school."

      "What, you – you were a dentist?" Dean asks.

       "Yeah, just for, like, a hot minute." Garth says. "Where'd you think I got my first case?"

      "Let me guess - Tooth Fairy." Dean says.

       Garth puts down his fork and looks down at the table. "Yeah. Man, I felt terrible when I ganked that SOB." He says.

       "Uh, you killed the Tooth Fairy?" Sam asks.

       "Yeah, man. I mean, not my proudest moment, but it happened. Mmm. Man, this is good."

CAR
[ ☼ ]

       Scott is driving. His phone rings as he parks and he answers it. "Hey, hon." A Man walks towards the convenience store Scott has parked outside. "Uh, just, uh, grabbing some joe on the way to the hospital, gonna bring Mom her stuff." The Man sees Scott and waves. "Oh, crap. Jeff's here. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Okay." Jeff goes into the store. "Love you."

      Scott shakes an asthma inhaler and inhales from it. He takes some money from a bag next to him.

CONVENIENCE STORE
[ ☼ ]

       Scott enters the store. Black goo runs from one of his ears. He starts to pour himself a cup of coffee. Jeff hurries up to him. "Hey, Scott, how's – uh, look, I heard about what happened with your folks. I'm really sorry. If there's – there's anything – I mean, anything – that I can do, just – just ask, man. Please." Jeff says.

       "How about getting me my money back..." Scott flings hot coffee in Jeff's face. "...Jeff?!"

       Jeff falls to the ground, yelling in pain. Scott takes a shovel from a rack and stabs Jeff with it. Blood splatters a refrigerated cabinet. Scott stabs Jeff several more times with the shovel before dropping it to the ground and turning away. Scott looks up at a security mirror. His reflection flickers and then appears as a Confederate soldier with gray skin.