Alright alright alrightttt let's get into itttt my dear friendssss
They are so silly!!!
This chapter is... a lot

This silly little fix gained over 1k reads in just a week thank you guys so much

Content warnings: Fighting, depictions of violence, blood, weapons, death threats

Clint does indeed somehow get the biggest steak that the restaurant has to offer, and Kate swears it's bigger than her face. He looks at it in minute horror before putting a napkin over his lap and tucking in, and while Kate feels some sense of dread at the sight, Yelena looks on the verge of cackling.

To Kate's utmost surprise, they also have a reindeer roast on the menu, and she points to it to show Yelena, whose face goes through several emotions before pinning Kate with a stare.

"Kate Bishop, we must try the reindeer."

"Didn't you say that it's really chew-"

"Never mind that! We are trying it."

"...Alright then."

Yelena orders the roast with an excited gleam in her eye, and even though Kate can feel her stomach already getting ready to be upset, the assassin's smile is a little too adorable. Aside from the roast, they both order a salad and either pasta or sushi once Clint assures that he's more than happy to pay.

"So, Kate," Clint says, taking a break from his food and setting his utensils down. Kate glances up from her sushi, mouth full. "Any thoughts about school?"

She's barely able to not choke on the fish and rice in her mouth, and Yelena snickers as she thumps the archer's back until she can breathe. Kate takes a swig from her root beer before clearing her throat.

"Gonna be honest with you here, chat- no. I have not."

Clint nods simply and starts cutting back into his steak. "Just wonderin' kiddo."

She squints at him. "You seemed pretty pressed about this when you called me a few days ago."

"One, I have no idea what that word means. Two, I talked with my wife about it and I am now a better man. I realize that school may feel daunting and I don't want you to feel pushed in any way. I just know that it can feel good to have a sense of direction, even if you don't really know what direction that is."

"One Direction," she mutters under her breath.

Neither Yelena nor Clint laugh at her obviously super funny joke, as neither of them heard her, and neither of them would even get it in the first place.

Kate was admittedly a 1D girl when she was small, okay? Until Hawkeye took that spot and stayed there.

Anyway-

"I just wanna offer any help I can, Kate," Clint continues, tilting his head. "Anything, seriously."

Kate smiles and nods, not sure how to respond. Clint seems to understand, because he just nods back and continues to eat.

The reindeer roast arrives a few minutes later, and it's overwhelmingly not what Kate had been expecting in any way, shape, or form. The hunk of meat is huge, the skin and juices sizzling and popping, right out of the oven. It's garnished rather graciously with different herbs and spices and zesty sauces, and Kate can see Yelena's surprise turn into a feral hunger only a Russian could have over reindeer meat.

"This is красивый," the blonde mutters, glancing up at the server in awe.

He gives her a polite smile and bows slightly. "Спасибо, мисс. Шеф-повар очень гордится этим."

Yelena's lips turn into an 'o' as the man responds to her in Russian before splitting into a grin. "Вы из Родины?" she asks excitedly, turning in her seat to face him more. The server smiles and nods again.

"Я родом из Москвы."

They talk a bit more before the man excuses himself, and Yelena turns back to the table to find a smiling Kate Bishop. She raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I like when you speak Russian," Kate says softly, the corners of her lips curling up prettily.

Yelena can't stop the blush from painting her cheeks, and Clint glances between the two of them before sighing, shaking his head, and stuffing another piece of steak into his mouth. Yelena clears her throat and picks up her silverware. "Спасибо."

The blonde cuts into the reindeer carefully and plops a fat slab onto Kate's plate after dishing up her own. "Dig in, Kate Bishop! If you don't like, I'll eat it." Yelena grins and saw off a hunk, squinting at it for a moment before delicately putting the entire piece into her mouth.

Kate watches her wearily for a moment, waiting for the blonde to grimace and complain about the chewiness of the meat, but the restaurant must have been brazing it for literally the entire day, because Yelena's face absolutely melts.

And it's... adorable.

Kate shoves a bite into her mouth to hide the red on her face, and all gay thoughts are almost immediately dispelled when the flavor hits her tongue.

Holy shit.

Her face must tell everything, because Yelena laughs deeply after she swallows, pointing at Kate. "Your face, Kate Bishop! I told you! You like it?"

"It's fucking amazing!" she burst out, eyes wide as she stares down at her plate. The sushi and salad suddenly feel like a mistake- she was going to need all of the stomach room she could get.

Clint suddenly reached over the table and stole a piece from Kate's plate, spearing through the thick meat and stuffing it into his mouth before he could be stopped. Kate protested, but the food was already gone, and Clint's face showcased the same surprised awe. Yelena could only laugh harder.

"Thafs so goo!" he exclaimed brightly, sawing his own piece from the main roast before he had even swallowed. Yelena nodded eagerly, still laughing and almost choking on the food that she kept trying to eat.

Kate can only watch as she does her best not to fall into hysterics herself, clutching at her stomach and covering her mouth. Yelena manages to bring herself down, wiping a few tears from her eyes before sighing happily and digging back in. Clint's steak, Kate's sushi, and Yelena's pasta are all unfortunately ignored in favor of the delicious roast. (They're boxed up for later.)

Kate eventually leans back in her chair and tips her head to lay against her shoulder, stomach full and heart happy. Yelena and Clint are chatting softly, swapping stories about fights and battles and all sorts of shenanigans. Clint tells her about his family, Yelena tells him about her time in Ohio when she was little. Clint recounts how he became Hawkeye, and Yelena retells how she broke free from the Red Room.

Kate listens to every word, drinking it all in.

"What was she like? When you first met?" Yelena asks softly, her fingers pressed together anxiously as the corners of her lips pull tight.

Clint blinks and leans back, folding his arms over his chest as he thinks. "She..." He sighs. "She was everything. Everything I wasn't."

Yelena seemed to hold her breath.

"We were both stubborn and cocky and headstrong, but she had a confidence and a kindness to her that I could never truly reach. And her skill... I liked to think of myself as a sharpshooter, but Natasha humbled me real quick." Clint huffed a laugh and shook his head. "She was a lot of trouble, too, though."

Yelena's voice is low with awe. "What kind of trouble?"

Kate can feel her heart twist, and she stands quietly, feeling that it may be time for her to give the two of them space to reminisce. Yelena glances up at her, brows drawn together in confusion.

"Kate Bishop? Are you okay?"

Kate rests a hand on the blonde's shoulder and hesitates for a small moment before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. "Just need the bathroom and some air. I'm ok. Be right back." She heads to the exit of the restaurant, not daring to look back. She can already feel the gazes burning through her skin.

Once Kate is outside, she walks a couple yards away until she reaches a shadowed landing, leaning her back against the cool brick and sucking in a slow breath. Guilt sat heavy in her chest. Unnecessary guilt, maybe; unfounded and undeserved guilt, sure- but guilt all the same.

She did not know Natasha.

It wasn't a conversation she felt she had the right to be in.

The archer found herself wishing Lucky was there with her, if only to keep her company. But he and Fanny were probably cuddled up on the couch at home and enjoying the silence.

Speaking of silence...

Kate leaned off the wall and glanced over her shoulder to find an unusually dark alleyway just feet from her, voices resonating from it in sharp tones. Her brow furrowed, feet already moving cautiously towards it.

"Please, stop it! I-I swear, I'll give you what you want, just stop-" A dull thunk rang out, and the panicked voice cut off, a wet sound dripping onto the pavement.

Kate peeked around the corner slowly, shoulders tense and legs braced to run. A ways down into the shadows, a small group of people surrounded two other figures- one was slumped over onto the ground and unmoving, with the other shaking them desperately in what looked to be a desperate attempt to wake them up.

"That was just warning, bro," a gruff voice said sternly, a weapon dangling from his hand as he brandished it casually. "Make your friend talk, bro. Or we kill you both, bro."

The fucking Tracksuit Mafia.

"Please, please, I can't..." The other figure was a woman, and her voice shook with tears. Kate felt her lips pull back into a snarl as she stepped out from behind the corner and began to creep closer, hands balling into fists.

"Make him wake up, bro!" the man roared, threatening once again with what Kate could see was a gun.

Shit. I don't have my bow.

It was a bit too late for that now, though, because only a few feet separated Kate from the Tracksuits. She ducked behind a bin when one man's head whipped around, his beady eyes searching for her. He broke off from the group and walked noisily closer, his hulking frame impossible to keep quiet.

Kate waited just a second longer for him to be in range before pushing off from the wall and kicking him straight in the face, knocking the man out in one hit. His body tumbled and hit the ground, splashing dirty, melted snow around him.

The Tracksuits all stopped, turning to the small commotion. Kate cursed under her breath, heart beating erratically. She didn't think this through.

"Go look to that, bro," the head Tracksuit commanded, pushing one of his colleagues by the shoulder in Kate's direction.

The man grumbled, but obeyed, and stalked slowly to his friend, toeing the unconscious Tracksuit before darting his eyes around. "Who do this, bro? Come out so I can shoot you, bro."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Kate muttered, glaring at the man. His bald head whipped towards her.

Bushy eyebrows furrowed in recognition. "Kate Bishop?"

FUCK I SAID THAT OUT LOUD?!

Without giving herself time to hesitate, Kate launched forward to tackle the man to the ground, both grunting at the impact. She was quick to wrestle his arms to his sides and under her knees, and the archer laid into him in a panic, only stopping her barrage of punches once the Tracksuit was unconscious.

"Bro! Kate Bishop, bro!"

Shit shit shit.

Kate threw herself to her feet and barely dodged a bullet that was just a hairbreathed away from lodging itself into her shoulder, sweat already beading along her forehead. "Man, I hate these guys," she muttered, racing forward. One of the Tracksuits ran to meet her halfway, attempting to tackle her, but she spun quickly and kicked his feet out from under him while grabbing his gun at the same time.

Whirling, she ducked under the fist of one man and pistol whipped another as a knife cut through the fabric of her pants, but the breath was knocked from her lungs when the head tracksuit landed a knee into her stomach. Kate fell backwards, winded and gasping. The gun clattered from her hands as pain bloomed along her ribs.

"Long time no see, bro," he barked viciously, prowling closer and squatting in front of the archer. "Where is Hawkeye, bro? Huh? He cause problems, bro."

Kate gave a pained grin. "Fuck you, bitch face." She suddenly lashed out, managing to land a solid punch into the man's jaw, and he staggered back, roaring angrily.

"You dead, bro!" he shouted, spitting blood onto the pavement before launching towards her.

Kate yelped and lurched out of the way, shaking her aching fist out. The Tracksuit slammed into the brick way but immediately pushed off of it, not even a little bit dazed. The archer cursed and darted away, grabbing the gun she had dropped back off of the ground and firing it shakily up into the air to startle the man.

He flinched momentarily, and Kate sucked in a breath, spinning on her heel and throwing her foot out to land a kick across his already swollen cheek- but a beefy hand shot up and wrapped around her shin. He gave a bloody grin, his fingers tightening before using Kate's weight to toss her against the wall.

A cry of pain burst from her mouth as her ribs protested, the air once again completely gone from her lungs. Blue eyes darted around desperately. Anything, anything she could use, anything at all...

There. A discarded crowbar under one of the fallen Tracksuits. Kate tensed, ready to leap for it, but-

A fist slammed into her stomach, and blood filled Kate's mouth as she gagged and sputtered. The Tracksuit stood back up to glower down at her, his dark eyes cold and piercing. "What to do with you, bro? You cause problems, Hawkeye cause problems... boss not happy, bro. I kill you now, bro, then that is less problem."

Kate wrapped a weak arm around her stomach, breath rattling. She could feel a bruise already forming on her face from her collision with the wall, and blood dripped into her eye. "You would have a lot more problems if you killed me right now, bro," she spat mockingly, her chest heaving. The crowbar, I just need the crowbar...

He squinted at her and squatted down, his large hand reaching out to grab her neck and squeeze her windpipe painfully. "I don't think so, bro. Who would miss you, Kate Bishop? Where is Hawkeye? Boss wants you dead, bro." His other hand appeared, the cold muzzle of a gun coming up to press against Kate's forehead.

She froze, eyes wide and terror dripping into her stomach. Her body was shaking, lungs struggling to work despite her air being cut off. If she could move away fast enough, if she could knee him between the legs, if she could get away, if she could get the crowbar...

"Say bye bye, bro," he smirked, his trigger finger twitching.

"Bye bye, bro," a voice snarled, followed by a gunshot. The Tracksuit's hand disappeared from her throat, his blood spraying all over Kate's face and shoulders. She lurched forward, gagging and gasping, her breath a rattle in her throat.

Yelena's figure stalked into the alleyway, her gun aimed at another Tracksuit as he struggled to get to his feet. A murderous light filled her eyes, and the furious twist of her lips painted her face into the mask of a demon, ready to tear the world down.

"You're all dead."

Absolutely insane amirite
Sorry I have literally nothing else to say I'm so dead tired while editing this omg
How is everyone???
Also don't mind me making stuff up about eating reindeer

ACTUALLY NO I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY I LOVE ANGST ESPECIALLY IN THE FORM OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE DONT YOU

Another poll for you all! Something I'm sure you'll all find very important...
If by chance there's a kiss coming up, would you prefer something soft and intimate or spicy and emotional and even more intimate? Choose wisely.

Translations:
-красивый (krasivyy): Beautiful
-Спасибо, мисс. Шеф-повар очень гордится этим. (Спасибо, мисс. Шеф-повар очень гордится этим): Thank you, miss. The chef is very proud of it.
-Вы из Родины (Вы из Родины): Are you from the motherland?
-Я родом из Москвы (YA rodom iz Moskvy): I'm originally from Moscow.

Kate Bishop counter: 7

QOTD: Do you know any defense arts/sports?

This chapter's meme(s):

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