I had cowardly run away from the house I'd grown up in, toward the unknown place where my harsh destiny was leading me. Exhausted and with my fragile body aching , I decided to spend the night on the deserted roads, hoping never to see daylight again.

The next morning, I was awakened by the horrible melodious songs of the city's wild pigeons, who had surely been abused by the infamous people of Busan .
When I opened my eyes, swollen from lack of sleep , I realized that the place where I was lying had no relation with the one where I had dozed off the night before.

It was a plainly delightful room with old-fashioned decor containing four beds where teenagers were sleeping. They seemed to be silently depressing in their nightmares.

Because of fear, I suddenly rose from the bed and began to move back and forth. An overdose of adrenaline was suddenly released into my bloodstream.
After my agitation, an innocent-looking Asian girl woke up yawning, and while remaining on her bed, she took the time to smile at me before asking me the following questions "Hey ... Are you new here? What's your name ?"

She smiled, embarrassed and stood up, then sat down on the corner of the bed I slept in, "My name is Kyou Suzuki."

Kyou whispered to me, "The meaning of my name is kinda particular, haha .
I come from the sadest village in the entire world, it's called Kamiyama.
I'll tell you how I came to this South Korean orphanage at breakfast time. Don't talk to our roommates cause they're disgusting!
And you ... What's your name? Where are your parents? Did they abandon you too cause you're a freak?"

I deducted  that I have survived, that I was protected, housed, and fed, thinking that I'll probably find a new life.
But accustomed to nourishing my mind with confusion, a blend of doubt and suspicion began waving questions deep within the core of my being. Kyou seemed strange to me.
Despite the dark circles under her monolides eyes, she remained smiling and full of energy. I could see the suffering in her childlike eyes, I could see starvation, disgust, and a hint of fatigue.
I replied neutrally, without revealing my full identity. "I ... I am Machigai."

All excited, Kyou stood up and jumped, "Machigai!? It's a Japanese word... but um, it's a synonym for mistake... Don't worry, I have a terrible name too. Kyou just means misfortune because when I was born, well, I was my mother's misfortune."
She laughed to hide her suffering.

Once the young foreigner had revealed the meaning of my name, I was struck with a quiet revelation.
I was neither prized nor cherished, but perhaps an omen my parents had been forced to bear.
Tears fell cold as the wind of my fate, their chill touching my skin before seeking warmth in the palms of my hands, stiff with the kiss of autumn's breath. In my sorrowful state, I could feel the calmness in my father's soul, and I wished it peace. As for my mother, I wished ill upon her spirit, even beyond death's reach.

What I felt could never be spoken. Only my tears carried the weight of all it. Hatered took root in the hollow of my chest. It whispered to me, malevolent, urging me to turn my warth outward to chanel it into something murky.