Chapter Twelve - Photograph.

Alec headed into his room, lying down on his bed, his eyes were stinging from all the tears he'd shed. He knew that his mom had believed in every word he had said. He was the family disappointment while Jace was definitely the child Maryse would have preferred as a son. He was just the depressed, broken, gay son she regretted having in the family. He let the tears fall remembering what he had said to Isabelle and Jace. 'It's more than just paper cuts now.' It was true it was more a full blown Seraph blade stabbing into every inch of his being, and it hurt. He slid off of his bed tearing his tearstained shirt over his head, he slid across the floor and pulled the huge cardboard box from the bottom of his wardrobe. He raised a dagger with the Lightwood sigil on it and cut through the tape in a sloppy slice catching the tip of the blade on his jeans as his hand shook, the point cut through the skin on his knee and blood beaded along the cut. Alec dropped the knife and ripped open the box, standing to hurriedly lock the door to his bedroom.

His hands trembled as he picked up photo after photo, tears splashing onto the photos. Blood and tears soaked into his jeans, as his mind replayed a memory from ages ago:

'Magnus and Alec were stood in front of the Eiffel Tower, Magnus had his arms wrapped around Alec's waist as a photographer took the photo. Magnus spoke French a lot better than Alec did so he let Magnus speak with the man for the photo as Alec stared over at the view. He was tempted to send Jace another photo saying, "We wish you were here but not really." Just to annoy him but decided against it. He'd sent Jace enough and he was sure it had really irritated his Parabatai. The sun was beginning to set the sky tinged a pink-orange colour as it lowered itself in the sky. "You look lost." Magnus said, wrapping an arm over Alec's shoulders, holding him closer. "We made these memories for ourselves. We don't have to worry about your mom will say to us when we get back."

"I wasn't worried about what she'd think." Alec retorted hurriedly.

"You were. I could see it on your face." Magnus sighed, pressing his lips to Alec's briefly. "Please just stop worrying, promise me."

Alec nodded, "I promise. I just don't want to lose you because of her."

"I won't ever let you go." Magnus sighed, embracing his boyfriend.'

"But you did let me go." Alec sobbed, "You left and it wasn't because of her. It was because of me."

'We kept our love in these photographs. Where our eyes never close and our hearts were never broken.' Alec thought, 'People will say it gets easier but it won't. I can't take this! I can't!' He shoved all the photos, back into the box, and grabbed the dagger in his right hand, his knuckles turning white as he clasped the hilt tightly. 'Wait for me to come home Max.' He thought, inching the blade closer until it touched his chest, but he froze without pushing it closer. Was this the right thing to do? He shut his eyes the memories building up in his head, struggling to block them out.

"Do you think mom has finished attacking him yet?" Isabelle asked, his eyes flicking from side to side as she watched Jace pace back and forward. Clary was sat beside her on the sofa and she had Simon on loudspeaker as he couldn't enter the Institute. "I don't know." Jace sighed, "I want to believe that she listened to me but I highly doubt it. She's ashamed of him. But she has no right to be! He's stronger than all of us put together! I don't see her confessing in front of everyone in the Clave a love for someone of the same sex! I don't see her dealing with the death of a baby brother, watching a sister blame herself, a brother hell-bent on his own destruction! Dealing with heartbreak from just being dumped!! I DON'T SEE HER COPING WITH ANY OF THAT!!!" Jace said, yelling the last hope in the hope that Maryse would hear it. He shrugged, turning to Isabelle he asked, "Do you still have his tablets?"

"Yes." Isabelle whispered.

"Good. Because I doubt she cares enough!" Jace ranted, "What time does he to..." He gasped as a sharp shot of pain, went through his knee.

"Jace?" Isabelle and Clary asked, a frown clear on their faces. "Jace? What is it?" Jace clutched at his knee but then he hurriedly shot a hand up to his chest a sharp sting, rippled through his nerves right above his heart. His face paled and his eyes widened, without checking his Parabatai rune he sprinted from the room. "Alec." Isabelle whispered as she leapt to her feet, chasing after Jace.

"Simon?" Clary called, "Alec's in trouble. Stay there, I'll let you know what's going on." She raced after Isabelle and Jace without putting away her phone, they headed all the way to the library and burst through the doors. "Where is he?!" Jace yelled at Maryse who was sat behind the desk.

"Who?" She asked, startled.

"Alec!!!" Jace roared, spinning on his heel and racing away down the corridor and up a flight of stairs. As Isabelle turned to leave her mom called her back, "Isabelle. What is...?"

"It's Alec. Although I doubt you care enough to help us find him!" Isabelle spat and she dragged Clary after Jace.

Jace stood kicking at Alec's bedroom door, yelling, "Alec!! Alec?!! Let me in!!! Unlock the door!!! Please!! Unlock this door!!" By the time Clary and Isabelle, with Maryse behind them, had caught up with Jace.

"Go away!! Go!!!" Alec yelled through his sobs at Jace. "If mom's there send her away! She doesn't really care!!"

"You're wrong if you think I don't care Alexander! You're completely wrong!" Maryse yelled back.

"You're a liar!!!" Alec screamed at her, "Go away!! I'm a disappointment to you remember?!!!"

Jace span to face Maryse, "What the hell did you say to him?!!" He spat, his eyes narrowing.

"Nothing!"

"Well, you had to have said something to him! He wouldn't be saying that if you didn't say anything!!" Jace snapped.

"At least I'll be with Max now! So, go away!!" Alec yelled; Isabelle let out a gasping sob. Jace's mouth dropped open, "Alec. No! Please. Don't... don't do this... let me in... p-please..." He slid to his knees at the door, "Alec." He whispered, "Please think about this..."

"I have... I'm sorry..." Alec sobbed, "I can't k-keep pretending that I'm fine..."

Clary stepped forward, "Alec? Alec? Talk to me. What's wrong? Explain it to me."

"No, if it was just... no, I'm sorry Clary..." Alec said.

"Jace. Stele please." Clary said, reaching down a hand to Jace, he placed his Stele in her hand as he kicked at the door from where he was sat on the floor. "Hurry Clary." Isabelle whispered. Clary nodded and set to work drawing the strongest Open Rune she could muster on the wood of Alec's bedroom door. Blood was staining Jace's shoulder from his rune now, but he didn't stop kicking at the door. Clary finished the rune and stepped back as the door was blasted open by the power of the rune, the lock had melted.

"Jace! The knife!" Isabelle yelled as she ran towards Alec, the bottle of tablets in her hand. Jace leapt forward, landing in a crouch in front of Alec. "The knife Alec. Give it to me." He whispered.

"I can't." Alec muttered, "I told Max to wait for me."

"Alec, listen to me. Max wouldn't want you to do this. Would you Max?" Isabelle said as she cradled her older brother close to her, her head tilted to the sky as though she could see Max.

"He says no," Jace whispered, "please Alec. Give me the knife, I'm begging you. I'll use force if I have to." Alec stared up at the sky, tears trailing down his cheeks. The cut on his knee and chest were starting to sting. Behind his back Isabelle was unscrewing the lid to the bottle and pulling out a tablet with shaking hands. She held it out to Alec, "Take it... please?" Her voice trembled, causing Alec to look over at her.

"I'm sorry Izzy." He whispered, touching a hand to her face, "Truly."

"You have nothing to apologise for." Isabelle whispered, "Please just take this, for Max?"

"No. I'm sorry." He moved the dagger towards his chest, blood coating the knife, but a blur knocked the knife askew, causing a long but slightly deep cut to spread across Alec's chest from above his heart, to his shoulder. He blinked shocked to find Simon stood in front of him clutching Alec's dagger, his skin burning slightly as he stood on consecrated ground. "S-Simon?" Clary stammered.

"OH MY GOD!!! SIMON GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Isabelle screamed, as his skin started to smoke stronger than before he glanced down at his skin and yelped, trying to slap out the smoke before it flickered with a spark of fire. He ran to the window and leapt out, just as his skin started to light with fire...