"Mikey, I'm gay."

Pete held his breath, and kind of forgot how to contract his muscles and as a result he dropped his overly expensive camera onto Mikey Way's bedroom floor.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, clutching his heart in relief as he saw that it wasn't broken. "Wait, don't react, just forget what I just said, I need to- you need to react on camera, you know for my coming out video." Pete explained, glancing across at Mikey, who was just looking at Pete blankly: having known this all for years, because saying that you wanted to make out with Harry Styles was hardly the straightest thing Mikey had ever heard.

There was also the fact that Mikey was gay as hell. Mikey was the gayest of the gays(tm), and seriously he was unsure what kind of reaction Pete wanted from him - he had that built in gaydar, obviously.

"Pete, you have like six subscribers." Mikey told him, rolling his eyes a little. Sure it was nice that Pete was trying to do something with his life, but Pete's failed vlogging channel was only marginally better than Mikey's obsessive Larry blog, which was something his brother Gerard had once described as psychotic.

"Seven." Pete corrected him, setting up his camera again, and trying his best to focus on their faces, not able to admit to himself that he didn't know how the fuck this camera worked and that it had totally been a waste of money, because he was probably more like to become an astronaut than a youtuber, still, he could dream.

"Hardly makes a difference, does it?" Mikey let out a sigh, leaning back against the wall and watching as Pete accidentally deleted all the footage off his camera and trying his best not to burst into a fit of laughter.

The two had been best friends since they were about six years old, and somehow Mikey still hadn't given up on Pete entirely after eight years, however, much the same could be said for Pete, like Mikey seriously needed to calm the fuck down about Larry before it did some serious physical damage to him, like Pete didn't doubt for a second that Mikey would jump in front of a car for the Larry truth.

"Motherfucker..." Pete trailed off, shaking his head at his camera in utter disbelief. "We're gonna have to start again. The whole fucking video-"

"Petey," Mikey spoke up, his hand on Pete's shoulder, "just tell me that you like it up the ass and I'll be like yeah same bro, and then we can talk about Larry, like that whole dramatic intro thing was a whole load of bullshit - no one has ever said anything homophobic to you."

"It makes it more interesting." Pete told him, rolling his eyes a little.

"And I'm supposed to support you whoring yourself out for views?" Mikey laughed a little, as Pete, of course, nodded.

"Yes, Mikeyway, you are. As my official, sweetest little dude, and best bro, you are supposed to support me in whatever I do." Pete smiled at him, before turning back to the camera and pressing record, "and here we go, take two."

Mikey let out a sigh, meeting Pete's gaze before looking at the camera as Pete cleared his throat. "Today is a very special day, and I'm really nervous, because I have something- actually, I have two very important things to tell you," he pointed towards the camera, "and you," he turned to Mikey, "this is my best friend, my sweetest little dude, Mikey Way-"

"Pete don't give out my full name on the internet-" Mikey narrowed his eyes.

"Shit, sorry, I'll edit that out." Pete blushed a little.

"I don't want to get stalked and kidnapped and murdered and shit-"

"Mikey, that's all honestly very unlikely to happen-"

"Just get on with the video, peteywvlogs." Mikey rolled his eyes, 'peteywvlogs' being of course, Pete's incredibly cringey youtube channel name, which was something that Mikey wanted to make clear that he was absolutely in no way involved in naming.

Pete cleared his throat again, "this is my best friend, sweetest little dude, Mikey," he gestured to Mikey, smiling a little.

Mikey forced himself to wave awkwardly at the six people, one of which was himself, one of which was Pete's mum, and another of which was some weird Brazilian dude who'd asked Pete for nudes once. "So what is it that you've got to say?" Mikey asked, like they hadn't already filmed this video, and like he hadn't already called this shit for like the past three years or so.

"Well, I..." Pete let out a sigh, facing the camera, "this isn't an easy thing to say, as I'm sure anyone in my position knows, but there's something I've been hiding for the past sixteen years of my life," Mikey tried his best not to groan, because of course, Pete was lying about his age on the internet. Pete was fourteen. Mikey had seen Pete's birth certificate - he knew that shit.

"And what's that?" Mikey asked, reckoning he was doing a pretty damn good intrigued and surprised voice.

"I'm gay." Pete said, before letting out a held breath.

"Well, that's a real surprise considering how much you go on about Harry Styles' immense beauty." Mikey laughed a little, meeting Pete's gaze.

"So you're fine with it?" Pete asked: his voice timid.

"Pete, I'm gay." Mikey exclaimed, laughing a little, "wait- did you say there were two things you wanted to say?"

"Yeah..." Pete trailed off, turning more so to Mikey as he spoke, "now this is one is really hard- actually no, this is- this is kind of a joke, but, no-" He laughed a little, "Mikey, come on look me in the eyes, I need to tell you this straight."

Mikey snorted at his use of the word 'straight'. "Okay. I'm sure this is gonna be real shocking too."

"Yeah..." Pete laughed a little, before looking Mikey right in the eyes and just going for it. "I ship Gryles."

Mikey's eyes widened in horror, and then disbelief, and finally a sense of what the fuck is going on. "Pete, is this a joke?" He exclaimed.

"No, I-" Pete stumbled over his words, "I just I think, it's kinda cute-"

"Kinda cute?" Mikey raised his voice: feeling betrayed by the boy he'd trusted to be his best friend and his companion as he went through Larry hell. "What the fuck, Petey? Nick Grimshaw is like the Northern gremlin from hell and I want his BBC Radio One conceited ass out of my life. I don't want to hear about him, and I certainly don't want to here about him being with Harry. Harry loves Louis - they're in love, are you blind, Pete, are you stupid?"

"Mikey, I'm just- it's a joke, I ship Larry of course I do, but Gryles is kinda cute too-"

"Pete, no, just no. Gryles is a crime. Gryles is treason. You have betrayed me. You should be glad I'm not the King of England in the Tudor era because I would fucking behead you for this." Mikey yelled at him... genuinely angry. "Gryles is like... it's like Hitler, worse than Hitler, I'd rather you came out to me as a Nazi, I'd rather you have terminal cancer than ship Gryles-"

"Mikey, that's fucking horrible, don't fucking say that!" Pete exclaimed, his stomach churning, because fuck, this of all things? This, not his sexuality, not anything else he'd thrown at Mikey ever, but this, a tolerance for Nick Grimshaw - that was what Mikey just wouldn't deal with?

"Says you. Pete Gryles Wentz." Mikey snapped, rolling his eyes.

"Mikey, you're being an ignorant piece of shit-"

"Pete," Mikey said, looking up, "go fuck yourself. I hope this gets you loads of fucking views because this is the last time I'm talking to you, got it?"

"Mikey, what- what the fuck?"

"You're a toxic Gryles shipper - I can't have that shit in my life. You've got to just cut people out of your life. I don't fucking need you- get the fuck out of my life, and my house, seriously get out of my bedroom, there's pictures of Harry everywhere, I can't have you looking at my pictures of Harry and imagining him getting fucked up the ass by Nick fucking Grimshaw!"

With that, Pete lost all his cool. "Parma ham is a piece of fucking shit," and stormed out of Mikey's room, continuing to vlog as he cried and made his way downstairs, because okay, Mikey was right, this would get more views, but still- seriously fuck that guy - that horrible guy, like how could Mikey do this to him? They'd been best friends for eight years, and now he was going to throw that all in his face because of fucking Larry?

Of course he was.

Pete had been Mikey's best friend for eight years after all.

Pete made his way downstairs, eager to just get the fuck home and have a really emo cry to himself whilst listening to Made In The AM, which was indeed the physical light of his life now that Mikey had reacted like that, however, he was stopped in his tracks, as he found himself faced with Gerard, Mikey's older brother.

Gerard was a piece of angsty shit, who sat on the living room floor smoking weed, and glaring at Pete because he had the audacity to walk into 'his' house.

"Don't fucking film me." Gerard snapped at him, brushing his angsty black hair away from his face and revealing his ears... his stretched ears.

Pete turned his camera off, staring in disbelief at Gerard's red, swollen ears. "Are they supposed to look like that? I think there's all puss and-"

"It's because I just stretched them." Gerard narrowed his eyes at him, "you're like fourteen, you don't know shit. It's too fucking edgy for you - I'm unique, it's deep-"

"Yeah, it looks like that hole in your ear is fucking deep." Pete scoffed, stepping closer, and yeah, that was definitely puss. "That infection is-"

"They're not infected!" Gerard exclaimed, trying to hide how personally offended he was, "have you ever stretched your ears? You don't know shit about how they're supposed to look."

"Neither do you apparently, because I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to look like that-" Pete was cut off as Mikey's bedroom door slammed upon.

"Gerard, get him the fuck out of our house, I can't listen to him talk anymore!" Mikey yelled, sounding a little like he'd been crying.

"Why the fuck is that my job? He's your fucking boyfriend-"

"Pete Gryles Wentz is not my boyfriend!" Mikey exclaimed, shivering a little as he said his name, like Pete was Voldemort or some shit.

"Shut the fuck up about One Direction, Mikey-" Gerard yelled back upstairs.

"Oh come on, Gerard, I've seen your internet history, you've watched the Drag Me Down music video everyday for the past three weeks-"

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it Mikey, One Direction is not real music." Gerard contorted his expression into one of disgust. "It's just boys whining, and people only listen to them because they think they're hot, and they're not even hot - Harry looks like a gremlin, Louis looks like a rat, Niall looks like Ellen Degeneres had sex with a leprechaun, Liam looks like the dollar store version of Robbie Williams, and Zayn... Zayn's actually kinda good looking, no wonder he left-"

"Don't say a fucking word, I don't need this Zayn bullshit in my life, especially not with all this Gryles shit from him- get the fuck out of my house, Petey- Pete, uhh I mean, Pete... you're not Petey anymore, we're not friends anymore, I-"

"Mikey, last week you asked me why people kept unfollowing you on tumblr." Pete met Mikey's gaze, "this is why." And with that, he ran out of their house, trying his best not to cry before he thought up a suitable excuse as to why. He could always just say he thought about Zayn leaving, as that was always a reason to cry, but he'd used that at least forty thousand times already and it might start to get a little suspicious.

Gerard looked up the stairs at his brother, "that is not how you tell your best friend you like him." He shook his head in disbelief, "this is like going on Masterchef and burning the whole kitchen down, going on X Factor and being mute or some-"

"Please don't mention X Factor, Satan is judging X Factor UK this year, and I- honestly, Gerard, it's triggering me-"

"Nick Grimshaw.... triggers you?" Gerard looked up at his brother in disbelief.

"Don't- I... I blacklist him on tumblr, and Gryles, of course, fucking Gryles..." Mikey started to cry a little, "why did he have to be Gryles as fuck? I thought he was better than that, Gerard, I- wait, Gee, is that- I think your ear's bleeding - I don't think you stretched them right-"

"No!" Gerard exclaimed, "I'm punk rock, I know what the fuck I'm doing, and you evidently don't, so go fuck yourself, Mikey." The sixteen year old grabbed his weed and stormed off to go smoke pot angstily in the garden and listen to Neck Deep as he contemplated just how misunderstood he was, and tried not to think about how infected his ears were. Anyway, if they like started bleeding and shit at least he could take a photo of them for his gore blog, because of course he ran a gore blog, yes, he was that fucking edgy.

-

"Brendon! For the last fucking time, don't you dare look at me when you come or it's gay!" Ryan exclaimed, as gave Brendon a handjob in his bedroom.

"Ryan, I think, maybe, just maybe you giving me- ugh... a- handjob is kinda fucking gay- ugh- I..." Brendon realised just how hard it was to form a coherent sentence as you were about to come.

"Brendon, don't give me this gay bullshit right now or I'm not gonna get you off," Ryan snapped at him, before letting him finish, and sitting down on his bed.

Brendon attempted to clean himself up with a tissue as Ryan sat there looking particularly homosexual with his come on him and only his boxers on. Particularly homosexual for a 'straight' guy, Brendon might say so himself.

"I'm not gay, by the way, for like the last time." Ryan rolled his eyes a little as Brendon sat down on the bed beside him. "Don't sit that close - that's kinda gay of you..."

"I am gay." Brendon rolled his eyes, laughing a little, "I'm an official gay, gay as hell, gay slut that's me. Love sucking dick-"

"Well, I'm not and I don't want to hear about your love for dick in graphic detail." Ryan snapped, turning away from Brendon.

"Of course, it's fine, like absolutely fucking fine and straight as hell when I'm getting you off, because then you really do want to hear about my love for your dick in graphic detail." Brendon smirked a little as Ryan flushed bright red, because there was indeed no way around the fact that it was true - they both knew it.

"I don't say you love my dick - that's really gay, like you've gotta say no homo afterwards, it's like I love you man, no homo - that's fine. You can't love anything without saying no homo or else it's just a bit gay." Ryan, of course, found the weirdest and least logical point to make.

Brendon snorted a little. "Wow, I'm really a lot from the straight fuckboy community. So wait, when you tell your dad you love him, you're like I love you dad, no homo."

"Obviously." Ryan looked at Brendon like he was mentally unstable for suggesting otherwise. "I'm not gay for my dad."

"And that's obviously going to be everyone's first thought if you don't say no homo." Brendon laughed at him, "come on, you sound fucking stupid, Ryan."

"I'm not fucking stupid, and I'm not gay. You're a cool dude, Brendon- no homo, no homo, but you're... you just don't take things the right way, I mean, maybe it's because you're so gay, it's like, you're just looking at things in a gay way, like you probably look at a banana and want to wank it because it looks like a cock-"

"Ryan, how many times have you seen guys getting unnaturally turned on in the grocery store?" Brendon looked at him in disbelief, "I seriously think you need to just hear yourself say half the things you do, and you'd understand how much shit you're talking-"

"Alright, shut the fuck up, Mr Big Head. Fucking big forehead, Urie." Ryan laughed at him, reaching out and poking his forehead.

"Yeah, I've got a big forehead because I've got a big brain, is that too much for you and your tiny little brain to comprehend?" Brendon narrowed his gaze, wondering just why the fuck he was at all attracted to Ryan Ross, not that he was because they were just getting off together, but like-... he was.

"You've got a big forehead because you're compensating for something else. Just fucking saying." Ryan got up, grabbing his shirt and pulling it back over his head.

Brendon did have to admit that Ryan had a big dick. "It's good you've got a big dick, because you've really got nothing else going for you, Ryan, no offense."

"That was really quite gay, you can't just say I've got a big dick and not say no homo, Brendon people are gonna think we're gay together or-"

"What people?" Brendon exclaimed, "the fucking goblins that live under my bed? No one's here watching you give me a handjob."

Ryan just scowled at him, "there aren't goblins living under your bed, are there?"

"Course not." Brendon told him, "I think it'd be a bit weird having goblins watch you sleep and get off and shit-"

"What if I lived under your bed, because I'd like to watch you get yourself off - no homo, of course, Brendon, my best bro, but like- it'd be... educational!"

Brendon just stared at Ryan in disbelief, "honestly I... I don't know what to say, you're messed up, dude, you've got some serious issues, accept that maybe you're bisexual or something, okay, because it's not going to help you suppressing this shit-"

"I'm not suppressing anything, Brendon, what are a few handjobs between bros, honestly?" He attempted to laugh it off as Brendon looked up at him in disbelief.

-

i had an idea and it was this i don't even know I'm not sorry enjoy this just makes me laugh I'm sorry vote and comment if u enjoyed lov u