Kabanata 17

Kabado ako nang pumasok sa bahay nina Sancho. His parents and sister greeted us. Nandoon din si Caspian bilang asawa ni Ynes at parte na rin ng pamilya ng mga Llamanzares ngayon.

We went to their dining room. Nagsimula na kaming kumain bago nagsabi si Sancho sa pamilya niya that we're now expecting our first child, too. Sancho happily told his parents that.

Sancho's Papa was the first one to congratulate us. And then followed by Caspian, and Ynes...

"Thank you." I said as I smiled, too.

"Parang ang bilis mo lang yatang nabuntis, hija..." ito naman ang sinabi ng Mama ni Sancho.

Bumaling ako sa Mama ni Sancho na tahimik lang na kumakain kanina. She didn't congratulate us when we told her the news of me being pregnant...

Nag-angat siya ng tingin at deretso sa akin. "Hindi ka pa buntis noong huling umuwi kayo rito, hindi ba?" She asked and her doubts were obviously showing on her face...

The last time I and Sancho were here. Noong libing ng lolo niya. At iyon din ang mga panahon na na-issue pa kami ni Caspian. And news about that I went with him in secret spread...

I calmed myself down before I answered her politely. Ngumiti pa ako. "Hindi nga rin po namin agad na inasahan ito ni Sancho..." And that's true. Ilang buwan lang kasi simula noong nagtatabi na kami sa pagtulog ay agad na rin akong nagbuntis. Na nang makabalik kami galing sa mini honeymoon pa namin sa Bukidnon ay buntis na pala ako. But nevertheless Sancho and I were happy.

Nakita kong tiningnan ng Papa ni Sancho ang asawa niya. Tumahimik na ang Mama ni Sancho pagkatapos at wala nang sinabi pa. Ngumiti naman sa amin ang Papa niya ang congratulated us again.

The mood in the dining room wasn't as happy when we were in my parents' house. They were genuinely happy for us. And although Sancho's Papa seems happy, too, but his Mama and Ynes were quiet... Especially his Mama who didn't even showed us the she's glad with our news that's supposed to be a good news...

Medyo nakakalungkot. Medyo nalungkot lang ako para sa anak ko...

Pagkatapos ay umuwi lang din kami ni Sancho sa bahay namin. Hindi ko na lang pinahalata sa kaniya na medyo nalungkot ako para hindi na rin siya mag-alala pa.

Bagong lipat pa rin kami ni Sancho rito sa bahay namin, and we're staying here now for good. Ayos na sa akin ang bahay namin. Nagpadala rin si Mama ng mga makakatulong namin dito sa bahay lalo na raw at nagdadalang-tao na ako ngayon. She's also unnecessarily worried and she doesn't want me stressed out.

Napangiti ako nang maalala ko ang Mama ko ngayon. I'm happy that I can feel her love and care for me now. Lalo na ngayon at para sa magiging apo na rin niya.

My Mama wasn't the perfect mother, or wasn't perfect as a person... But I know now that all this time she only cared for me and my future. She only did the things she thought was needed for my own good...

I didn't want to keep on blaming her or even hating on her. Hindi siya perpekto at may mga mali rin siya. But she's a mother who only wanted what she thought was best for her only daughter...

Lalo na ngayong magiging ina na rin ako ay gusto ko na lang sana na mag-focus sa anak ko.

Pagkatapos ay inasikaso na rin ni Sancho ang sarili naming asukarera. These lands were originally owned by Sancho's deceased grandfather. Pero ang lahat ng naiwan ng matanda ay pinamana niyang lahat sa kaniyang panganay na apo. And Ynes would probably inherit all her parents properties...

Kasi mukhang kuntento na rin si Sancho sa mga pinamana sa kaniya ng lolo niya. And he's also earned a huge amount of money already from working as actor for many years. And he also has other investments, too. Kaya kahit pa siguro mag-anak pa kami ng marami ay hindi naman kami agad na maghihirap.

Sa akin din ipapamana nina Mama ang mansyon namin at buong hacienda bilang ako lang naman ang nag-iisa nilang anak. Although it's still too early for that now. Ani nina Mama ay mag-focus lang daw muna ako sa buhay ko may pamilya. Kaya pa naman daw nila ng Papa na patakbuhin ang sarili rin naming asukarera. Ito na talaga ang mga negosyo ng mga pamilya namin pareho ni Sancho noon pa man at galing pa sa mga lolo at lola namin.

Kaya naman confident din ako na matutulungan ko rin si Sancho sa negosyo namin dahil lumaki din ako sa hacienda namin at sa asukarera kaya may alam ako. So I chose this life with him here in the province instead. Like what we planned.

Hindi nga rin naman magandang retirement place ang malaking city kagaya na lang ng Metro Manila na umalis kami doon.

And then one day when Sancho wasn't home because he was already busy attending to our sugar mill, and I was alone in our house when his mother visited...

"Mama,"

"Where's Sancho?" She asked right away.

Sandali kong naalala iyong nakaraang kinompronta rin nila ako ni Ynes dito sa bahay namin ni Sancho...

"Wala po pa siya. Tinitingnan pa po ang trabaho sa asukarera..." sagot ko.

"All right. Ikaw rin naman talaga ang sadya ko." she said and then looked at me.

Kinabahan naman ako. Siguro nga ay may na develop na rin akong takot sa Mama ni Sancho dahil sa mga nangyari sa amin nitong nagdaan... "Bakit po?" I asked a bit calmly still.

She looked at me like she finds me stupid or...

To be honest I didn't like Sancho's mother's treatment towards me. I already thought to myself that she can't continue to treat me like this. I want to respect her because she's my husband's mother. But I can't let anyone, even her, continue to put me down like this...

"Talaga bang ipapaako mo pa sa anak ko iyang bastardo mo?"

Parang hindi ko pa agad nakuha ang sinasabi niya. Or I couldn't believe that she thinks that way towards me and to my child... May namuo na ring galit sa kalooban ko dahil nadadamay na ang anak ko. For God's sake hindi pa nga naipapanganak ang anak ko.

"Hindi ko po alam ang sinasabi ninyo..." Pero pagkatapos ay tiningnan ko rin siya nang deretso sa mga mata niya. "But I'm sure that this is mine and Sancho's child. Hindi ko po alam kung saan n'yo nakukuha ang hindi maganda n'yong ideya..." I said bravely.

"Talagang hindi maganda! Paano pa ba gaganda ang tingin ko sa'yo? After what you've done—"

And I can't help it but to cut her off.

"What exactly do you think I've done, Mama?" I can't help it anymore but to get angry as well. I don't know if my pregnancy has played a role in my strong attitude right now, too. Basta ay nakakaramdam na rin talaga ako ng galit ngayon. At parang natapos na rin ang pagtitimpi ko.

After all I can't just let them look at me like this. At lalong they can't badmouth my yet unborn child.

"Do you really think that I'd sleep with your daughter's husband? And cheat on your son?" Ganoon na ba kasama ang tingin ng Mama ni Sancho sa akin. Tumingin ako sa kaniya na may hindi makapaniwalang mga mata sa akusasyon niya sa akin na daughter-in-law niya.

Hindi ko na talaga mapigilan ang sarili ko.

Natigilan din siya at siguro nagulat na sumasagot ako sa kaniya ngayon.

Ayaw kong maging bastos. I want to respect her as much as I can. At dahil siguro noong mga nakaraan ay nakita niyang hindi naman ako sumasagot o lumalaban. But I can't continue doing that to myself, too.

Lalo na hindi ko hahayaan ang kahit na sino na saktan ang anak ko even if he's not aware about this yet. Someday my child will grow up and can hear about this, and I don't want that. So it's better for me to clear this right away. For the sake of my child.

I will protect this child. At ipaglalaban ko ang anak ko sa kahit na sino.