There are not more than five primary colors, yet in combination they produce more hues than can ever been seen.
━
The Art of War
Sun Tzu

≣

Jungkook used to experience a mind-body disconnect after running on a treadmill. It was an odd sensation, where his brain thought his legs continued to move forward even though he physically stood still. The disorientation made him feel like he glided through space and time, all while his feet remained glued to the ground.

That same feeling possessed Jungkook right now.

After days of running from trouble, days filled with stress and anxiety, his brain had yet to comprehend that everything stopped. Paused. For the time being, both he and Taehyung were safe.

But that incessant need to look over his shoulder and to keep his guard up persisted. Each one of his muscles held a familiar tension, ready to uncoil and spring into action should he need to flee. And his mind refused to relax; it continued to worry about every potential problem, about what might happen should someone find them.

The world rushed around him, a blur of sights and sounds, even though he took no active strides forward.

And now, shrouded in darkness at two in the morning, Jungkook attempted to convince himself he could finally take a breath. There was no pressing urgency to escape, no necessity to scope out another hideaway. The all too familiar threats, risks, and dangers still loomed just overhead, though they were currently distant and out of sight. Because here - underground and hidden away from the omnipresent world - Jungkook truly felt they were out of harm's way.

And that safety gave both him and Taehyung something they desperately needed: time. Time to rest, time to process, and time to heal.

And also time for something Jungkook needed to do, something he avoided doing since the day he learned of Namjoon's death.

Jungkook needed to grieve.

It wasn't like he actively evaded mourning the loss of his brother, not on purpose, at least. In rare instances, he had allowed himself to feel those sharp stabs of anguish, to begin accepting that agonizing knowledge that his role model - his best friend - was gone. However, he never had the time or security to lower all defenses, to simply feel and not worry about a target on his back.

And he never had someone by his side, holding him through his grief and reminding him that he wasn't alone.

But now, perhaps, he had everything he needed to formally grieve. Not only did he have the time and safety afforded by the bunker, but he also had a person to stand by his side throughout the storm.

Taehyung, the man who quickly became his entire world.

Before, having a person be his everything would've scared the shit out of Jungkook. Relying on someone for companionship, comfort, and support wasn't a concept he practiced over the last few years. All he ever knew was that opening himself up to another was often synonymous with welcoming in disappointment and abandonment. So rather than trust someone and get hurt, he refrained completely.

Though that all changed when he met Taehyung.

He changed.

The mask of a cocky, arrogant brat - the one Jungkook wore as a defense mechanism - slowly slipped off, revealing who he really was inside. That vulnerable, angry, and hurt boy who never moved past his broken home life, who hated the world for killing his brother. And that hopeful, trusting, and loving boy, the one who secretly prayed for healing and acceptance.

Jungkook was an endless mix of feelings and flaws, a blend of paints swirling into a color uniquely his own. And that color wasn't always pretty. Oftentimes, it was muted and drab. He wasn't that perfect picture he once wanted the world to see.

And yet . . . Taehyung thought he was beautiful.

Despite every imperfection, each unfavorable trait, the elder found beauty in both the good and the bad. There was no judgment or ridicule. Just love.

And because of that love, Jungkook felt ready; he was ready to mourn for all he had lost. He was ready to mourn alongside Taehyung.

Taehyung.

Jungkook's heart broke for the elder; it shattered when he witnessed that terrifying panic attack. He hadn't known what to do as he watched Taehyung drive in that trance-like state, tears falling from his wide, unblinking eyes. And even though the car had been hurtling out of control, flying past the rural scenery with no hopes of slowing down, Jungkook hadn't been afraid for himself. No, he was so petrified over whatever war was waging in Taehyung's mind.

At that moment, all Jungkook wanted to do was pull the elder into his arms and promise that everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't promise something like that when he had no idea what they were up against. So instead, he promised that he would be there through it all, that he'd support and comfort and love Taehyung no matter what.

And he would.

Regardless of the trials and tribulations coming their way, Jungkook would never again willingly leave Taehyung's side. Not when they needed each other as much as they did.

And right now, the best way for Jungkook to be there for his angel was to help him mourn his losses. The elder had been running - both physically and emotionally - for a while, with no time or resources to stop and process what had happened. Taehyung always had to keep his wits about him, to remain alert despite his pain. The price of slipping up could cost the elder his life, so in an effort to concentrate solely on the present, he pushed it all down.

But Jungkook knew repressing the despair and sorrow wasn't healthy. Hell, his own mental state took a toll because of his inability to just . . . feel. And if both he and Taehyung didn't work through their all-consuming heartache soon, there would be more at stake than just bloodthirsty killers. If they didn't face their grief head-on and actively deal with it, there was a good chance that their souls would never recover.

So Jungkook decided to take the lead on this one; he would guide both himself and Taehyung down that uncertain path towards healing. He would be there for Taehyung and would lean on him in return. They'd rely on their love for each other - and not only the words spoken, but also all that remained unsaid - to help them confront their demons and move on.

And while a part of Jungkook didn't necessarily want to move on, he understood that that didn't mean forgetting. No, it meant acceptance.

So for the next hour, Jungkook crafted a plan that would not only help him accept his past, but would hopefully help his angel as well. This idea didn't come without its risks - for instance, Taehyung might vehemently object to it all - but he had to try.

For them, he would try.

A short while later, Taehyung - who was draped over Jungkook's chest - started to stir. He let out some indistinguishable sounds, making it difficult to tell if he was sleeping or awake. But after a moment, the elder's deep and groggy voice filled the room.

"Kookie?"

"Go back to sleep, angel," Jungkook responded gently, moving his hand to brush through the boy's hair. "It's still early."

"What time is it?" Taehyung asked, his breath fanning over Jungkook's neck. "How long have we been sleeping?"

Jungkook carefully craned his neck to the side, reading the face of the digital alarm clock. "It's just after three in the morning. So if we fell asleep around seven last night . . . Eight hours. But why don't you close your eyes for a bit longer? I'll stay here with you."

Taehyung sluggishly propped himself up, chin resting on his forearms. "I don't think I can. Every time I close my eyes, my mind takes over and I can't shut it off. And even if I manage to fall asleep, I have nightmares."

Jungkook tried to study the elder's face, though it was too dark to make out anything other than the outline of his body. "Do you want to talk about it? About what's worrying you the most?"

"Everything worries me, Kook. And if it's not worrying me, it's haunting me. No matter what I do, I can't seem to sort any of it out," the elder sighed, sounding weighed down and troubled. "It's a lot."

Jungkook ran his hand up and down the elder's spine, attempting to provide as much comfort as possible. "You've been through a lot, Tae. It'll take time to process. But . . . You know I'm here for you, right? Even when it gets hard, I won't be intimidated. I won't leave your side."

Taehyung blindly reached out, his hand fumbling around until he hummed in satisfaction. A low light brightened the bedroom, causing both boys to squint as their eyes adjusted.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," Taehyung whispered, shifting his position so he stretched out on the bed. "You have no idea how thankful I am to have you in my life."

"I do because I feel the same exact way," Jungkook said softly, turning so his nose brushed against the elder's. "And being here with you now . . . It almost doesn't feel real. I'm afraid this is all a dream and that I'll wake up and have to say goodbye to you again. But I can't do that, Tae. I need you."

Taehyung brought a hand up to cup Jungkook's cheek, his thumb rubbing softly over his cheekbone. "I'll always need you, sweetheart. Though I can't help but feel selfish for keeping you with me; I know one wrong move on my part could end with you hurt. But even still, I wouldn't change anything . . . I'm not strong enough to send you away even if it's for your own good."

"You're not selfish, Tae. Even Yoongi agreed this was the smartest move for the time being, right?"

"Time being," Taehyung repeated under his breath, his lips pulling down at the edges. "Kook, I'm not letting you go."

Despite the deep topic, Jungkook couldn't help the toothy grin that split over his face. "Are you going to hold me hostage then?"

A gentle laugh vibrated in Taehyung's chest, and he brought his fingers down to trace around Jungkook's mouth. "Yes."

"Ah, I see. Are you going to tie me up?"

"Well, I'm not opposed," the elder giggled more freely now, his eyes losing some of their previous severity. "However . . . I recall a certain someone expressing interest in tying me up."

Oh, Jungkook hadn't forgotten about that. When the two boys briefly discussed their boundaries back at Hoseok's bed and breakfast, he'd been overjoyed to hear the elder was open to an exploration of various kinks. And since then, Jungkook envisioned restraining Taehyung's hands overhead, all while delivering waves of pleasure to his body. Watching his angel come undone and not be able to do anything to get himself over the edge . . .

Fuck.

Taehyung's voice pulled him out of his raunchy fantasies. "You're imagining it, aren't you?"

"What?" Jungkook said distractedly after the question finally registered. "I . . . No?"

"I know you, sweetheart," the elder chuckled, moving his hands to glide down Jungkook's chest. "Tell me what you were thinking about. Tell me what you want to do with me."

And as tempting as discussing - and possibly reenacting - his fantasies sounded, Jungkook shook his head. There was something else that took precedence. "I'll share every dirty thought I've had about you, angel, but not now. Later."

The elder's eyebrows scrunched low over his eyes. "But -"

"I promise," Jungkook cut him off, running his fingers over Taehyung's narrowed brows. "Later, we'll talk all about the kinky stuff I want us to do. But there's something else that's been on my mind that I wanted to bring up. It's something I need to do for me, though I'm really hoping you want to be involved, too."

The serious shift in their conversation was not lost upon Taehyung. He nodded, clasping one of Jungkook's hands with his own. "Alright. I'm all ears."

"I want to hold a funeral."

That declaration was met with silence. The elder barely showed any reaction; he just stared back at Jungkook as he processed those words.

So Jungkook continued on, lightly stroking the back of Taehyung's hand. "I want to properly say goodbye to Joonie . . . and to your mom."

"Goodbye?" Taehyung whispered, the word so low it was barely audible.

"Goodbye," Jungkook confirmed, his voice breaking around the edges. "I need to say goodbye to my brother, Tae. I need to acknowledge that he's gone."

"Kook . . . I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know what I'll become if I willingly open myself up to that type of pain. It will drown me."

Jungkook pulled the elder closer to his chest, securing his arms over his waist. "If it does, I'm here to bring you back."

"I can't -"

"I need you, Tae. I'm scared. I'm so fucking terrified of letting go. But I have to move on. I can't keep this all inside of me anymore," Jungkook said into the elder's hair, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent his tears from falling. "The grief is already eating me alive. I need to heal."

Taehyung gripped him tighter, nails digging into his skin. "How do you know you'll heal? How do you know the sadness won't consume you?"

"Because I learned something once before, back when my mom left," Jungkook started, recollections of those dark times filling his mind. "With her gone, I was so fucked up. Even though she wasn't an ideal mother . . ."

"She was still your mom," the elder supplied softly.

A tear finally slipped from Jungkook's closed eyes. "Yeah. I didn't realize what I felt was grief, so I kept trying to resist feeling anything at all. But Joon talked to me. He said if I continued to avoid grieving that loss, the pain would become stronger and more damaging."

Taehyung's grip slightly loosened, his palms flattening over Jungkook's back. "So, what did you do?"

"I set aside time to grieve, even if it was just for five minutes a day. Instead of fearing losing control, I allowed myself the freedom to feel whatever the hell was troubling me. For those few minutes, I could be a mess without worrying about the repercussions."

"So, you were sad on purpose?" Taehyung clarified, his tone considering Jungkook's words.

"Yeah, for whatever time I allotted myself, I was sad on purpose," Jungkook agreed, pulling back to look at the elder directly. "And approaching my grief that way - intentionally - gave me so much more power. I realized that yeah, sure, my feelings were painful, but they weren't dangerous to me. With that change in mindset, I moved on."

Taehyung's gaze turned hopeful, with this raw sort of intensity that pierced Jungkook to his core. "You did?"

"I did. And that's what I need to do now; I need to make time to mourn. With everything going on, I took the easy way out and chose to ignore my feelings. But not anymore. I need to do this, Tae, and I want us to do it together. I think that's the only way I'll be able to heal . . . With you by my side."

And it was true. Jungkook needed Taehyung for emotional support now more than ever. Because when they were together, the pain didn't seem as suffocating. It was more manageable. So grieving side by side, hand in hand, would make the inevitable onslaught of emotions more bearable as well.

"How would we do it?"Taehyung questioned carefully after a brief pause. "How would we hold a funeral, I mean?"

"In a perfect world, I'd go back to the place they died -"

"No, Kook -"

" - but I'm not stupid," Jungkook finished with a hint of a smirk. "I know it's too risky to go there. So . . . How about we stay here? You know, get all comfy and hold each other and just talk. Nothing fancy, just you and me. Together. Saying goodbye."

Taehyung exhaled deeply, clearly thinking over his decision. His eyes fell shut, with little creases forming just between his brows. He appeared conflicted and afraid, uncertain and apprehensive. But after a moment, after one final sigh, he opened his eyes and met Jungkook's gaze once again.

"Even if I break down, you'll be right there with me?"

Jungkook scooted forward, eliminating the space between his mouth and Taehyung's. He kissed him softly, the gesture nothing more than a faint caressing of lips. "Always, angel. I will always be with you."

Taehyung's fingers pushed into Jungkook's hair as he kissed him back, gratitude and love underlying each push and pull. He didn't try to deepen the kiss to make it more provocative. He simply cherished Jungkook's mouth with his own, working to show all of his appreciation.

And Jungkook felt it; he'd never felt more valued than he did at this moment.

"Okay," Taehyung murmured against his lips, "I'll try. We can have the funeral."

Pride swelled in Jungkook's heart at the elder's bravery. This wasn't going to be effortless or painless for either of them; the easier choice would undoubtedly be to repress it all. But rather than give in to his fear, Taehyung chose to embrace it.

Jungkook squeezed his sides, pressing barely-there kisses all over the elder's face. "So proud of you, Tae. When -?"

"Now?" Taehyung proposed quickly, sweeping Jungkook's hair out of his eyes. "I don't want to stall and overthink things."

"Alright. But how about we eat first?" Jungkook suggested, his stomach rumbling at the thought of food. "There's some stale ramen calling my name."

"Deal."

The two slowly rolled out of bed, stretching their stiff muscles as they headed towards the kitchen. Each subtle bend and twist reminded Jungkook of the dull burning at the base of his spine - and at a place a bit further south - though he didn't complain. It was a memory of his and Taehyung's lovemaking, an experience he'd always hold close to his heart.

But it wouldn't hurt to take a painkiller or two.

After they explored the vast selection of non-perishable goods in the pantry, they heated some microwavable ramen and settled into stools at the kitchen counter. Their meal was accompanied by a companionable silence, as both boys were lost to their own thoughts. However, Jungkook didn't fixate on his brother's passing or the unending attacks for once. Instead, he solely focused on the present moment and how grateful he was to be alive and safe. And while this bunker could've easily felt just like another cage, it didn't.

As long as he had Taehyung, he'd never feel imprisoned or trapped again.

Once their containers were tidied up and their utensils were put away, Taehyung took hold of Jungkook's hand and led them to the back of the bunker. They ended up in front of two doorways, one open and the other shut.

Taehyung pointed to a sealed, metal door first. "This is another way out of the bunker. The garage is a bit showy, so this is a less conspicuous option to get outside. There's a security system on either side of this door, so I'll have you memorize the code in a bit."

The elder punched a long string of digits into the keypad before a satisfying click signaled the door had unlocked. The door opened to reveal a dimly lit pathway, with ropes of lights charged by solar power lining either side.

"This leads to the edge of the orchard," Taehyung continued, letting Jungkook look for a moment before sealing off the tunnel once more. "If something were to happen to me, if you had to leave suddenly, this is the path you'd take out."

It was obvious what Taehyung was alluding to: should the attackers find them, he wanted to be left behind. And while Jungkook appreciated the elder's desire to protect him at all costs, he knew he could never do as was asked. He'd never abandon Taehyung.

But it wasn't worth an argument now, so Jungkook simply nodded his head. "Okay."

Taehyung let out a relieved breath before jutting his chin towards the open doorway. "This is where I want us to have the funeral. It was my mom's favorite part of the bunker."

Jungkook walked into the room, trying to distinguish what made it so special. It was sparsely decorated, with only two couches and a plush rug adorning the space. "It's . . . Cozy?"

A soft hum left Taehyung's mouth as he reached out, fingers grazing an electric panel on the wall. After a few taps on the screen, the ceiling above them transformed entirely.

A starry night sky replaced the white paneled ceiling, complete with twinkling stars and a glowing moon. Every so often, a shooting star flitted in and out of view.

"Holy fuck," Jungkook breathed, mouth gaping as he tilted his head back. "I can't tell if this is outside or not."

Taehyung swiped the panel again, and this time the ceiling morphed into a bright and sunny sky. "My mom hated that there weren't any windows in here; she was such an outdoorsy person. So she had this LED screen put in, which can simulate any sky we want."

Jungkook's eyes widened even more as the ceiling grew dark with purple and red hues. Clouds slowly drifted in from the edges of the screen, showcasing the effects of a brilliant sunset. He'd never seen anything like this before and had no words to describe his awe.

"Do you have any requests?" The elder questioned, jerking his thumb back at the screen. "It has everything you can think of."

"Everything I can think of?" Jungkook teased, finally ripping his eyes off the ceiling and stretching out on the couch. "How about a UFO sighting?"

A soft laugh pushed out of Taehyung's mouth as he pressed yet another button on the screen. "I don't think the sci-fi expansion pack is installed yet. Damn."

Jungkook was about to make a lighthearted retort when the ceiling once again faded into a new view. It was another night sky, though this version had swirling waves of greens and purples and pinks.

The Northern Lights.

"I like this one," he whispered, confused as to how this screen could feel and look so real. "It's perfect."

Once that was decided, Taehyung joined Jungkook on the couch and nestled between his legs. Leaning back, he rested his head on his shoulder. "I don't know if it's appropriate for a funeral, but I like it, too."

"I kind of like that we're not holding a traditional funeral," Jungkook lamented, securing his arms around Taehyung's waist. "I always thought they were so stuffy and . . . Lifeless."

Not to be mistaken, Jungkook found beauty in his culture's mourning rituals. The hemp clothing, black ribbons for their arms, the lighting of incense, and the communal meals . . . All of those practices held meaning. Though in this environment, none of that felt fitting.

"Terrible word choice, but I get what you mean," Taehyung chuckled, a glimmer of warmth lighting up his eyes. "This feels very informal. It's less intimidating."

"Precisely."

After a couple of seconds, the edges of the elder's mouth slightly pulled down, a troubled expression coloring his face. "Kook? How do we start?"

"Any way you want. If you want to just talk to your mom, either in your head or out loud, we can begin there. Or we don't have to talk at all. We can just sit here and process our emotions. Whatever you prefer."

Jungkook assumed Taehyung chose the second option because silence fell between the two. But then, just a few moments later, a soft laugh pierced the air.

"I don't know why I thought of this, but my mom was a terrible cook," Taehyung said, his tone sounding far away as he referenced past experiences. "When my family was all together, she'd rely on my dad to make most meals. She never had the patience to chop all the ingredients, to season her dishes with the right herbs or spices. So she relegated cooking duties to everyone else but her."

"Does that mean you cooked a lot these past few years? Because I can't imagine you would've let Joonie cook. He didn't even know how to cut an onion properly," Jungkook smiled, easily picturing his brother's old ways of slicing an onion in half. "Even I cooked better than him, and I've been told my skills in the kitchen leave something to be desired."

"Oh, no. I was almost just as bad. The only thing I can't screw up is ramen. So . . . That left my mom. And while she never quite got the hang of it, she never gave up. That's what I admired most about her," Taehyung finished softly, the traces of laughter now gone.

Jungkook pressed a kiss against the side of his head. "It sounds like you were really close to her."

"She knew everything about me without having to ask. She never even pointed out cute girls to me . . . We always gushed over pretty boys."

"I never knew that," Jungkook reflected, "I never knew you only liked boys."

Taehyung ran his hands up and down Jungkook's arms, a reassuring and comforting gesture. "Ever since I was a teenager, I knew I was gay. And I was terrified about coming out to my parents, but I didn't have to. My mom . . . She got it. And she never treated me differently."

This woman sounded lovely; the mother every child deserved. And while Jungkook was slightly jealous that he didn't have the same experience, he was even happier that Taehyung did. "I wish I could have met her."

"She would've loved you, Kookie. You're everything she ever wanted for me: sweet, caring, sassy. She used to go on and on about how she wanted me to break up with Bogum, about how he wasn't the man I should be with. But now . . . I hope wherever she is, she knows how happy you and I are. I hope she knows I'm finally with the right man."

Jungkook felt his eyes watering at the elder's words, and his throat began to burn as well. But he smiled anyway, tipping his head back and looking up at the night sky. "Mrs. Kim . . . Hi. I'm Jeon Jungkook. I'm the guy who pretended to be your son for a while. I know that was a stupid move, but I don't regret it. I found Taehyung because of that lie.

"I wanted to let you know that Tae is the most important person to me. He's my rock, Mrs. Kim. My everything. And I want you to know I'll always look out for him, that I'll always care for him and treat him right. And while you and I won't get to meet each other face to face, I hope you'll come to know me. I hope you and I can form a connection of our own because you mean the world to my angel, Mrs. Kim. You'll always be the most important person to him."

Jungkook didn't just say all of that for Taehyung; no, he truly meant every single word. He knew he'd never get a normal relationship with his love's mother, but he wanted to make these sorts of promises regardless. This was important to him.

"Thank you," Taehyung whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Thank you for talking to her, Kook."

Jungkook let his own tears escape the confines of his eyes, the well of his emotions finally spilling over. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to continue talking to her from time to time. Just so she knows I'm still taking care of you."

The elder nodded, lacing their fingers together. And then he looked up, the glow from the Northern Lights painting his face with brilliant colors. "Hi, Mom . . . You've just met my brat, but don't worry, he's also my sweetheart. I think he was sucking up to you a bit just then, but we can let it slide."

"I was trying to make a good impression," Jungkook pouted, though he let the elder continue without further interruption.

"He's been really good to me, even though he kind of stole my identity," Taehyung carried on softly. "But I forgave him. He just made it too damn easy to fall in love with him, Mom. And I know you always said to take things slow, but you also said to follow my heart. And that's what I did . . . I followed it to Jungkook. So if it's not too much to ask, I hope you can watch over him. Wherever you are, I hope you can keep us both safe.

"And . . . I miss you so much, Mom. Everyday. Every minute and every second. I need you here with me, but . . . You're gone. And I know you'd say it's not my fault, that I shouldn't blame myself, but I still do. Even if I couldn't have protected you, I wish it was me who would've died. I wish it was me."

Taehyung's voice wavered off as he broke down, with heavy sobs shaking his shoulders. Jungkook was openly crying as well, the elder's words of despair hurting him just as much. So he buried his face into his neck, holding him tight as they faced their sorrow together.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Taehyung rasped out, "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

"Tae, angel, it's not your fault," Jungkook quickly cut in, unable to let the elder take the blame for this. "You can't hate yourself for not killing someone. And you can't hate yourself for surviving."

Taehyung ran his hands over his face, shaking his head back and forth. "I . . . I just wish they were still here. I'd give anything to have them back."

"I would, too."

There was nothing left to say after that, so Jungkook turned Taehyung in his arms and pulled him close. Chest to chest with their heads tucked into each other's necks, they cried.

They felt.

They mourned.

Taehyung sniffed after a while, adjusting his hands so they cradled Jungkook's face. "Sweetheart . . . Thank you. Thank you for doing this with me."

"Your pain is my pain, too, Tae. I'm here to bear it with you," Jungkook said quietly, getting lost in the strength of the elder's gaze.

"And yours is mine, Kook. You've done such an incredible job of being here for me, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. But you're hurting, too; you lost someone, too. And whatever you need, I'm going to be here for you as well. So tell me. What can I do?"

Jungkook closed his eyes as Taehyung gently traced all over his face, focusing solely on the faint touches. "Can we talk about him?"

Taehyung's fingers danced over his jaw and down his neck, just to come back up and smooth out the creases on his forehead. "Of course, sweetheart. We can do anything you need."

"If I said I needed you to run butt naked down the orchard, screaming at the top of your lungs, would you do that for me?" Jungkook taunted, his lips stretching into a smile at the thought.

"Okay, maybe not anything you need, you little brat," the elder quipped, hands settling on the back of Jungkook's neck. "But I'll do anything within reason."

Jungkook opened his eyes, finding Taehyung just a few inches in front of his face. "Tell me about your first impression of Joonie."

A brilliant grin broke out over Taehyung's face. "Meeting him as a potential bodyguard . . . I thought he was handpicked for me, to be honest. We shared so many interests and our conversations flowed naturally. And while he was stern enough to keep me in line, he also had this big brother sort of approach. He acted like he actually wanted to be my friend, and at a time where I didn't really trust anyone, I needed that."

"Joon was always so good with people," Jungkook said, running a hand up and down the elder's spine. "Warm and kind, understanding and sympathetic. I always admired that about him. He was what I wanted to be when I grew up . . . And I still do. I think he'll always be my role model, no matter what."

"He's a good role model to have," the elder affirmed. "And I'm sure wherever he is now, he's so proud of you."

"Oh, I'm sure he's super proud I essentially broke every rule he ever made for me," Jungkook laughed, not even wanting to count how many times he directly disobeyed his brother's orders. "I can practically hear him lecturing me now."

"Sounds like he was a father-brother hybrid in a sense. He was both roles to you."

"He really was. And . . . Fuck. Did you know that the last time I spoke with him, we got into this huge fight?" Even now, Jungkook didn't like to think about it.

Taehyung shook his head as he gave him a sad smile. "No. I didn't know. What was it about?"

"I wanted to go see my friends. To go out. To do literally anything other than sit inside my house all day. And Joon reminded me that I had to lie low, that his job was at risk if the wrong people found out my relation to him. He always used to say that if I got myself into trouble, he'd leave . . ."

"He'd leave me and come to you?" Taehyung guessed correctly, looking down for a moment, teeth grazing his lower lip. "Maybe that's why he trained me so heavily in self-defense. If he had to go to you, he wanted to make sure I could protect myself."

"Maybe," Jungkook agreed as his hands finally settled on the elder's waist. "So that last time we talked, I took out all my pent up frustration on him. I think I was just so mad at him for even leaving me in the first place, for escaping his hell but leaving me in mine. And even though I knew he deserved to be free, to reclaim a life outside of our toxic family, I couldn't understand why he didn't take me with him. Or why he didn't help me start a life of my own."

And the part that sucked the most was that Jungkook still harbored some of that anger, and he hated himself for it. Namjoon was dead - he never even got the chance to apologize to him - and yet he still had difficulties comprehending why he was left behind for years. His brother knew how miserable he was at home, and yet . . .

Namjoon kept his cage locked at all times.

But Jungkook didn't want to continue to associate resentment with his brother. No, he wanted to push that bitterness aside and feel the full weight of his loss. Though that was the tricky thing with grief, it didn't just stir sadness and hopelessness. No, grief included a wide array of emotions that often made no sense at all.

"That doesn't make you a bad brother, you know," Taehyung murmured, edging even closer so they were just a breath of space apart. "You had every right to be upset over the situation. And I'm sure Namjoon understood that, too. I'm sure he hated keeping you from living your life. But he loved you, Kook. He wouldn't have been so worried over your safety if he didn't fear you getting hurt. And even though you two fought, he knew you loved him as well."

Jungkook thought all his tears had dried up by this point, though that didn't stop a few droplets from slipping down his cheeks. "I just wish I told him how much I loved him. If I could go back, I would've said all the things I want to say to him now."

Namjoon's last words to him - No matter what happens, I will always be there for you, Jungkook. It's you and me, kid - repeated over and over in his head. And more than anything, Jungkook regretted not being there for his brother in the same way.

Taehyung hugged him closer, his heart beating strongly and surely against his chest. "Say them now, sweetheart. All the things you want to tell him . . . Say them now. Wherever he is, he'll hear you."

Jungkook buried his face into the elder's neck, inhaling his scent for extra encouragement. And then he did as suggested and talked to his brother in his mind. He offered up apologies and prayers, murmured thank yous and I love yous. All the words he needed to say poured out of him, traveling up into the night sky and finding the place where Namjoon now rested. And maybe Jungkook was delusional, but he swore he heard his brother right there next to him, promising they'd always have each other.

That no matter what, they'd always be family.

Jungkook's tears continued to fall for a while longer - as did the elder's - but that was okay. Releasing the combination of anger, guilt, and anguish was a step in the right direction. It was a step towards healing. Because even though experiencing all that pain hurt like hell, it didn't destroy him.

It would not destroy him; he wouldn't let it.

Even after they both calmed down and their tears finally dried, Taehyung didn't let go or pull away. His hands continued their reassuring glide over Jungkook's back, all while bestowing tender kisses and whispering sweet sentiments.

It was everything Jungkook needed and more.

Taehyung lightly dragged his nose up Jungkook's cheek, stopping short to place a kiss against his still healing cut. "I think this is going to scar."

Honestly, that was the least of Jungkook's worries. "I think it adds character. And with the tattoos, maybe no one will mess with me. I give off that badass vibe, right?"

"You're too cute to be badass," the elder teased, lips now brushing along Jungkook's jaw.

And that sounded too much like a dare to Jungkook, so he parted his lips ever so slightly, running his tongue along his lower teeth before letting it poke out of his mouth. "Cute, huh?"

Taehyung's eyes were glued to his mouth. "Yeah. Cute . . . Kook?"

Jungkook hummed softly in question.

"Is it wrong that I want to kiss you?"

"Why would that be wrong, angel?" Jungkook asked, leaning back to better observe the elder's face.

"Maybe wrong isn't the right word," the elder started, his eyebrows scrunching low in consternation, "but I kind of feel guilty? I mean, we were just saying goodbye to my mom and Joon, and I don't know . . . Shouldn't we still be sad?"

Running his knuckles along the elder's cheek, Jungkook tried to explain things as he understood them. "I don't think it's wrong to crave intimacy while grieving, Tae. And grief . . . it's not just limited to sadness. We feel a lot of emotions while mourning, including desire and love. And intimacy helps us to feel connected to others in a time we need it the most. It helps us to feel empowered."

Jungkook didn't always view intimacy in this sort of way. In the past, he had only ever used sex as a form of distraction - when he was hurting or angry or upset, he'd initiate a random hookup to take the edge off his pain. Each encounter left him feeling so much worse, however, and he never got the relief he so desperately longed for.

It took him years to understand that he couldn't use sex as an escape mechanism. It took finding Taehyung to realize that intimacy could be so much more, that it could be a union of so much more than just bodies.

"Being intimate with you makes me feel alive," Jungkook added, his gaze meeting the elder's dark and shimmering one.

Taehyung didn't respond verbally. His hands traveled to the front of Jungkook's chest as he leaned forward, his lips barely dancing over Jungkook's mouth. The touch - feather-light yet somehow tantalizing - drew breathy gasps from both of them, the gesture holding so much more weight now. After mourning together and providing solace for the other, their minds, hearts, bodies, and souls were more intertwined than ever before.

Instead of deepening the kiss, the elder disconnected their lips and pulled back. Each part of his face - that beautiful, ethereal face - was contorted into an expression of adoration and wonder. It was striking to be on the receiving end of such a magnificent look, and Jungkook felt his breath hitch just looking at him.

"Wait here," Taehyung murmured, his large and elegant hands smoothing over Jungkook's pecs. "Don't move until I call you."

Jungkook watched as the elder clambered off of his lap, his heart slamming against his ribcage from their simple kiss. He tried to regain control of his breathing, to ask what was going on, but he was too late. Taehyung had already left the room. And while curiosity ran rampant through his veins, Jungkook did as he was asked.

He listened.

He stayed.

Reclining into the pillows, Jungkook watched the dancing lights of the aurora borealis overhead, letting his mind drift off. And as he stared at the all too realistic and colorful waves, he felt at peace. Despite the danger and the grief and every uncertainty thrown his and Taehyung's way, a tranquil serenity overtook most of his senses.

So he waited contentedly, wanting to impress his angel with his superior patience and listening skills.

Though, fifteen minutes later, all of that so-called composure and restraint went out the window when he heard the elder's voice call out for him.

"Sweetheart?"

Jungkook bolted up and off the couch in an instant, legs moving on their own accord as he made his way back to the bedroom. And when he got there, when he saw Taehyung's bare back with glistening water droplets rolling down his skin, he froze.

"Angel . . ."

Taehyung sported wet hair and damp skin, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his lean waist. He turned and met Jungkook's heated gaze, proudly sporting the series of red marks that had been sucked into his neck just the day before. His smooth skin glowed under the warm lights, with subtle contours of definition coursing along his arms and over his stomach. And that little trail of hair just below his navel looked darker, thickened by the water that still clung to his body.

Once again, the elder looked like temptation on a fucking stick. Though, unlike the last time Jungkook had that same exact thought, he was now allowed to embrace that temptation.

Slowly and purposely, Taehyung approached him and held out his hands. "Come here."

It was all too easy to fall into the elder's arms, to press against his body and get lost in his clean scent. "I thought we were all for saving the planet, Tae. You know, conserving water by showering together."

"We'll have plenty of opportunities to save the planet in the future," the elder chuckled, settling his hands on Jungkook's hips. "But I needed to do something alone."

"I'm offended that you don't want to be glued to my side, angel," Jungkook teased, securing his arms around the elder's neck. "What happened to that saying of yours . . . My eyes are always on you?"

"You're such a brat."

"But I'm your brat."

A gentle hum left Taehyung's mouth, and he gripped him more tightly. "What you said before about intimacy and feeling connected . . . You make me feel alive, too, Kook. Even though we're surrounded by death and destruction and despair, you make me look forward to living. And now . . . I'd very much like to make love with you."

"Tae . . ."

Taehyung's fingers snuck underneath Jungkook shirt, tracing along the bare skin of his sides. "I want to feel it all with you, but only if you want to -"

Jungkook answered the elder by capturing his lips with his own, always amazed at how seamlessly their mouths slotted together. He kissed Taehyung with every fiber of his being, pouring all the love and passion he had into that one gesture. And all the while, he slid his hands up the elder's naked chest, savoring the smooth glide before settling just over his heart.

"Make love to me, sweetheart," Taehyung panted against Jungkook's mouth, his tone husky and low with desire.

"Are you saying you want me to . . .?"

"What do you think I was doing in the bathroom?" The elder laughed, tilting his head back so they looked at each other directly. "I want you. I want to know how it feels for you to move inside of me."

No other words had to be said. Fuck, no other words could be said.

Jungkook was rendered speechless.

So he dipped his head to reclaim the elder's mouth, lost to the feel of wet lips gliding against his own. He would never get enough of just kissing Taehyung, of intermingling their breaths and sharing a combined air. The sensation was too intoxicating, bringing him to previously unreachable highs.

Anyone could see that Jungkook was nothing more than an addict, and Taehyung his drug of choice.

He gasped as the elder's hands ran over his bare stomach, the caress both giving and possessive simultaneously. And while this certainly wasn't the first time Taehyung had touched him this way, the exploration still left Jungkook's head dizzy.

As their mouths continued to slide and meld together, Jungkook knotted his hands in Taehyung's hair and pulled just hard enough to earn a moan. The sound caused heat to pool in his stomach and suddenly he needed more, he needed a symphony of the elder's noises playing at all times. So he licked into Taehyung mouth and dragged their tongues together, achieving that string of whimpers and moans he so fiercely lusted after.

Somewhere in between swirling their tongues together and swallowing the other's sinful sounds, Jungkook lowered his hands to the elder's ass, surprised to find that damn towel still in place. So he broke away, panting as he dipped a finger just underneath the fabric.

"This is what I wanted to do the first time I saw you in nothing but a towel," he said thickly, his voice sounding raspy to his ears. And then he grabbed the towel, pulling it off so Taehyung stood before him in all of his naked glory.

His eyes scanned all over his bare body, taking in the areas previously hidden. And outside of the elder's honey-colored thighs and his sensual hips, Jungkook settled on the boy's hardened length, which was no longer trapped underneath the tightly wrapped towel.

Wordlessly, Taehyung came over to him, gripping the hem of his shirt and tugging it upwards. Jungkook lifted his arms, aiding in the endeavor to undress him completely. But rather than immediately move to the sweatpants covering Jungkook's legs, Taehyung stepped even closer, planting his palms over his skin.

Jungkook shivered at the faint caress, his lips parting as the elder stroked over his abs. And as much as he wanted to tackle the boy and pleasure every single part of his body, he just stood there, savoring the stirring touches.

"You're beautiful, sweetheart," Taehyung said to him, his hands finally settling on the waistband of Jungkook's sweats. He pulled them down along with his briefs, crouching to the floor to help Jungkook step out of them. But instead of rising back up, he remained kneeling on the ground, head tilted up as he met Jungkook's eyes.

With an almost shaky hand, Jungkook reached out and took hold of his chin, angling him further back. "You're beautiful, Tae. I wish you could see yourself like this, like I do. You're absolutely stunning."

Taehyung held his gaze for a moment more before dipping down, planting small kisses to Jungkook's calves. He worked his way up one leg, tracing over the muscular definition with his tongue. He only went as far up as Jungkook's quad, where he massaged and bit into the large muscle before turning his attention to the other leg.

And Jungkook just stood there, watching as his angel worshiped his legs with his soft lips and occasional nips. He had a difficult time keeping still, especially as Taehyung licked towards the inside of his legs and progressed even higher than before. It took all of his effort not to spread himself completely and beg the elder to touch him somewhere else entirely.

Taehyung leaned back on his heels, raising his chin once again and displaying a hungry and lust-filled gaze. And all while maintaining eye contact, he began gliding his hands up Jungkook's thighs bit by bit, edging higher and higher but not yet high enough.

"Go on," Jungkook said, trying to sound dominant even though he was convinced his command sounded more like a plea. "Touch me, angel."

A confident smirk spread over Taehyung's mouth as he angled his fingertips inward, though he made no move to take hold of Jungkook's hardening cock. "I'm already touching you."

Jungkook pouted at the teasing remark. "You're acting awfully naughty for an angel."

"Angels can help answer prayers, but only if the asker is specific enough." Taehyung smiled innocently, though considering his own spread legs and hardening arousal, he was anything but innocent.

🔥

"Please put your hands and mouth on my cock, Tae," he begged in response, fingers smoothing over Taehyung's cheekbones. "There. I've asked nicely."

"You did," Taehyung affirmed, one hand sliding up to hold Jungkook's hip while the other finally took hold of his shaft. "So polite for me. Such a good boy for me."

Jungkook groaned as his cock was fisted by the elder's large hand, and despite the urge to toss his head back and close his eyes, he continued to watch what was being done to him. Taehyung languidly pumped him a few times, flicking his wrist and squeezing at his base just hard enough. And on a couple of surprise occasions, he delivered a suggestive lick to the leaking tip.

"Grip my hair," the elder said after a few more seconds of moving his hand. "You don't have to be gentle."

A noise that was a cross between a grunt and a whimper left Jungkook's mouth, and he instantly plunged his hands into Taehyung's thick locks. He pulled him up, guiding the boy until his mouth was right against his cock.

"Open," he ordered.

Taehyung did as was asked, parting his lips and slightly sticking out his tongue. He waited patiently for Jungkook to plunge forward, to fill his mouth and handle him roughly.

And since that was what Taehyung wanted . . .

Jungkook let out a strangled moan as he pushed forward incrementally, his cock sliding past the elder's lips and onto the velvety cushion of his tongue. His hands pushed Taehyung forward, forcing him to slide down and take more of his length into his mouth. And when he poked at the back of his throat, he held Taehyung in place, remaining still for a few seconds before drawing him back once more.

"So good, so beautiful, so amazing for me," Jungkook prattled as he relaxed his grip in the elder's hair, allowing him to take over.

Taehyung hummed around him as he concentrated on Jungkook's swollen tip, sucking and licking and curling his tongue. The vibrations from his mouth sent shivers crawling up Jungkook's spine, and he let a moan rip out of his chest and fill the room.

"Angel," he said once he noticed the tears gathering just under Taehyung's eyes, "get on the bed. I want you on your stomach."

The elder took all of Jungkook's cock in between his lips one final time, looking up with his mouth spread wide. And then he slowly pulled back, leaving a shiny mess of spit all over. It was sexy and hot and raw and gorgeous.

"Bed. Now," Jungkook ordered, his tone a little more authoritative than before.

The elder listened immediately, practically flopping on the plush comforter and pillowing his hands under his head. His plump ass jiggled as he got more comfortable, practically challenging Jungkook to come closer and fill his hands.

So that's exactly what he did.

Jungkook crawled over Taehyung, wedging his legs apart before settling in between. And then he smoothed his fingertips over the backs of the elder's thighs, in awe over how smooth and supple his skin was, as he brought his hands higher and higher.

"Fuck, I love your ass," Jungkook reflected once his palms settled over his rounded cheeks. He shifted his body back a bit, allowing his mouth to graze the spot just below the elder's tailbone. "Has anyone ever had their tongue on you?"

"No," Taehyung let out, craning his neck to look back at Jungkook. "But you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Why wouldn't I want to?" Jungkook asked, gripping into the elder's hips and angling him up a bit. "I want to make you feel good, angel. And I think you'll enjoy this just as much as I will."

Jungkook spread him apart then, sucking in a breath at the sight. "Fuck, you make me so hard."

Taehyung groaned, pushing up onto his knees and providing even better access. "Show me what it's like, Kookie. Please."

And since his angel asked so sweetly, Jungkook decided to heed his request without making him beg for it. He leaned forward, kissing on the inside of either cheek before gently running his tongue over his puckered rim.

"Oh," Taehyung let out, the word seeming to escape by accident.

Jungkook kept his initial licks relatively mellow, wanting to get the elder used to the new feeling. He circled his tongue around his entrance and wiggled it back and forth, paying close attention to the gasps leaving the elder's mouth. And when he felt Taehyung was ready, he began pushing past that taut ring of muscle.

"Ah, fuck," Taehyung whined, his ass pressing more forcefully against Jungkook's tongue.

Jungkook's nails dug into his skin, keeping him in place as he licked and stroked Taehyung in one of the most intimate of ways. He was encouraged by the sounds of pleasure pouring out of the elder, which were accompanied by curses and praises alike, and moved even faster than before.

"Kookie," Taehyung moaned, a hand patting all over the bed until his fingers wrapped around something: The lube Jungkook was so happy he remembered to pack. "Here. Quick. Please, please, please."

Jungkook pulled back, marveling at how wet and red Taehyung's ass looked. "Beautiful."

"Stop staring at my ass and prep me already," the elder commanded, turning onto his side and shoving the lube in Jungkook's face. "I need you, sweetheart."

Jungkook took hold of the lube as he pushed Taehyung onto his back. "Alright. But we're going to stretch you out this way, okay? I want to watch your face."

Taehyung nodded eagerly, spreading apart his legs and beckoning Jungkook to come closer. But Jungkook was frozen as he finally studied the full extent of the elder's fucked out expression: Dark, blown out eyes and puffy, parted lips; flushed cheeks and matted hair; a heaving chest and a swollen cock.

"I'm jealous that other people have seen you this way," Jungkook said softly, soaking in every centimeter of the elder's sweaty skin. "So, I'll just have to make you feel better than they ever did before."

"You already have," Taehyung whispered, his hands brushing along Jungkook's thighs. "None of them will ever even come close to comparing to you."

"Really?"

"Yes," Taehyung affirmed strongly. "Not only do you make my body feel good, but you light my heart and soul on fire, sweetheart."

With a whimper of his own, Jungkook crawled between the elder's legs and lowered his body. Everything from their chests down pressed together as he kissed Taehyung passionately, plunging his tongue inside of his hot mouth. And yet again, he was drunk off of Taehyung, pulled under his spell and woozy with the amount of love radiating out of his every pore.

"Please," Taehyung mumbled against his mouth, rolling his hips and rubbing their cocks together.

And because Jungkook was feeling a little feisty, was feeling tipsy on the love he felt for this man, he grinded down even harder as he asked, "Please, what?"

A groan pushed out from the elder's lips, and he eagerly provided a descriptive answer. "Please put your fingers inside of me. Please get me ready so I can be filled with your cock."

And because Jungkook wanted all of that as well, he fumbled for the lube and started coating his fingers. "Remember our first couple days together when I offered to replace the stick up your ass with my cock? Look at us now. Dreams really do come true."

"You're such a brat - ah, fuck."

Jungkook had carefully pressed a slicked up finger inside of Taehyung, working it all the way in before pausing. The elder's body gripped onto him tightly and hotly, and he couldn't wait until he was sheathing himself fully in the luscious heat.

"Good job, angel," he murmured, bending forward to kiss at his neck. "You took that so well."

"I want another."

"We'll work up to that, Tae," Jungkook soothed him, dragging his finger halfway down before pushing it up again. "I know it's been a while for you."

Taehyung brought his hands up to Jungkook's face, cupping his cheeks as he stared into his eyes. "I want another, Kook. The quicker you get me ready, the quicker you can come inside. And that's what I want. You. Inside of me."

"Fuck," Jungkook gave in, pulling his finger out before plunging two back inside of the elder's tight entrance.

Taehyung's breath slightly hitched, though he didn't ask to stop. And when Jungkook stalled once more, he rocked his hips up to take more of his fingers. "Oh."

Jungkook pumped his slippery fingers relentlessly as he started sucking a fresh hickey into Taehyung's neck. He kept that up for several stokes before curling inwards, brushing over a spot that caused the elder to buck beneath him and cry out.

"Fuck," Taehyung breathed, weaving his fingers through Jungkook's hair and tugging him up to his lips. "That felt really good."

"Have you ever come this way?" Jungkook asked in between kisses, stimulating his prostate again and again with consistent caresses.

The elder shook his head, the action causing his mouth the slide more messily over Jungkook's. "No, never. With my ex, I always had to get myself off. He really only cared about his own climax."

That was yet another reason why Jungkook hated Park Bogum's guts, but he chose not to focus on him at the moment.

All that mattered was his Taehyung.

After he applied a little more lube, he pressed a third finger inside and waited for the elder to adjust. "I'm going to get you there, alright, angel? I'm going to make you feel so good, so absolutely beautiful and special. I promise."

"I know you will. Just . . . Wait until you're inside of me, okay? I want to come with you inside of me," Taehyung panted, gradually bucking his hips up even though he probably still felt the burn of the stretch.

Jungkook moaned just thinking about how it'd feel for the elder to come around his cock, clenching around him and squeezing tightly. "Deal."

"And sweetheart? I want you to come inside of me. That's a first of mine that belongs to you."

While Jungkook suspected Taehyung would say something like this, his heart still soared at hearing the words spoken aloud. He began spreading his fingers apart, loving the noises the elder made in return.

"No condom?" He asked, having some sort of primal need to hear the elder's decision confirmed out loud.

Taehyung arched his back as Jungkook brushed up against his prostate again, a wail rolling off of his tongue. "No condom. Unless you want -"

"No," Jungkook answered sharply, the image of spilling into Taehyung's consuming his mind. He reconnected their mouths as he plunged his fingers deeper, grinding his aching cock against the bed in search of any amount of friction possible.

Their lips moved frantically over each other's, the kiss sloppy with desire and lacking all semblance of control. And even though Jungkook's skin was on fire and he was painfully hard, he wouldn't change anything about this. He wouldn't move faster or chase after his orgasm; he wouldn't rush to fuck into the elder without remorse.

No, he wouldn't do any of those things at all.

Because what Jungkook craved was connection, not just the pleasure. He yearned for the opening of their minds, the intertwining of their hearts, the union of their bodies, and the fusion of their souls.

And now, as Jungkook finally withdrew his fingers from Taehyung's stretched entrance, he knew they had achieved all of those things.

Their love helped them achieve all of those things.

Jungkook once again reached for the bottle of lube, though this time he worked on coating his throbbing cock with the cool substance. He took his time, wanting to make sure he was slick enough as to not harm the elder. Though as he finished his preparations, the magnitude of what was about to happen fully settled on his shoulders.

He was about to be inside of his angel.

And more than anything, he just wanted their lovemaking to be good for Taehyung. Especially after hearing about the elder's lackluster experiences with his ex, Jungkook wanted to do this right. He wanted to pleasure Taehyung as much as physically possible, to make him feel loved.

So even though he had a sticky hand wrapped around his cock, prepared to guide himself into the elder's entrance, he paused. "Angel?"

Taehyung's gaze met his, his eyes filled with adoration and lust and love. "Come here, sweetheart."

"I want to make this good for you," Jungkook started, faintly squeezing himself as his attention briefly flicked down to the elder's stretched hole. "I'm not going to just fuck you from behind like your ex did. So if there's a certain position you want, I want you to tell me. I'm open to them all . . . Cowboy, reverse cowboy, pirate's bounty . . . There's even one called the bodyguard, but I think you should top for that one . . . And there's suspended congress and the arch and -"

"Did you memorize the Kama Sutra or something?" Taehyung laughed, flinging his arms around Jungkook's neck. "Please, teach me your ways, oh, wise one."

Jungkook supported his weight on an elbow, leaning down to rest his forehead against Taehyung's shoulder. "I'll teach you every one of those positions, angel. We can start right now."

But Taehyung shook his head, running a hand along the curve of his spine. "Tonight, I just want to hold you and look into your eyes. Maybe that's a little boring, but -"

"Making love with you will never be boring, Tae. All of our intimate experiences have been so beautiful to me. And that's because we're truly connected, right here." Jungkook placed a kiss over the elder's heart. "And that makes the world of a difference because I'm not just longing for the pleasure, I'm longing for the love."

And Jungkook stood by every word. He didn't need to attempt the wildest positions to enjoy himself or get off; no, when he was with Taehyung, he could probably come by just kissing alone.

Taehyung's face lit up at that, with his eyes glowing and his lips spreading into a brilliant smile. He was so fucking beautiful, so intensely gorgeous, and he was all Jungkook's.

But to be fair, Jungkook was all Taehyung's, too.

The elder spread his legs more, rocking his hips up to slide his untouched cock against Jungkook's stomach. "Like this, sweetheart. Make love to me like this. Please?"

Jungkook's chest swelled as he realized this was it - this was actually happening - and he angled himself to be more in line with Taehyung's entrance. He kept their eyes locked as he dragged his leaking tip over the elder's rim, not daring to conceal his strangled moan at the feeling. And then, once he was properly positioned and aligned, he pushed in.

"Ah, fuck," Jungkook let out, unable to remain composed at a time like this. Taehyung's heat gripped him so tightly that it was a miracle Jungkook didn't pass out from the pleasure.

He paused just after his tip slipped past the elder's entrance, allowing enough time for both of them to catch their breaths. "I knew you'd feel good, but fuck, Tae . . . You're exquisite."

Taehyung chuckled despite the pricks of tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. "You're . . . fuck . . . Keep going, sweetheart."

Jungkook marginally worked towards bottoming out, easing his hips forward until his pelvis pressed against Taehyung's skin. "Let's give us a minute, okay? How are you feeling?"

"It's massive," Taehyung sighed, his fingers carding through the hair at the nape of Jungkook's neck. "You feel so fucking good."

"Does it hurt?"

"You're massive, Kook," the elder repeated with a breathy laugh. "Yeah, it hurts. But I'll be okay in a second. It's just been a while and you're much bigger than my ex."

Jungkook carefully lowered down onto his elbows, nuzzling his nose against the elder's neck. "Hell yeah, I'm bigger than him."

Taehyung tangled their legs together, his eyes turning a bit serious as he took deep breaths. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"For being bigger than your ex?"

The elder rolled his eyes playfully. "No, you brat. Thank you for just . . . for just being you. You continue to shower me with comfort and support, and I swear I fall more and more in love with you by the second. You just make it so easy because you're so good. And I never thought I'd find someone like you, someone who'd help me become the best version of myself. But you do, you know. With you, I've never felt as strong and capable as I do now."

Jungkook slowly began rocking his hips, the elder's declaration like a current pulling him to shore as he slid his cock halfway in and out of Taehyung. He wanted to speak, to assure that he felt the same exact way, though the beauty of Taehyung's words robbed him of the ability to produce logical sentences.

So instead, Jungkook kissed him swiftly before saying, "As long as we're breathing, and even after that, I will always be yours."

Tears slipped down Taehyung's cheeks as he reconnected their lips, curling their tongues together as he more forcefully ground against Jungkook. "Please."

Jungkook's heart burst open at the quiet and straightforward plea. He thrusted all the way in, delivering long and deep strokes to his angel. There was barely a lick of space between their bodies as they moved in tandem, every part of them connected as they pushed and pulled against each other.

Gentle hums, airy gasps, and deep moans left Taehyung's mouth as he scratched at Jungkook's back, his hands finally cupping his ass and pushing him deeper and at a more aggressive rate. He seemed lost to the pleasure - lost to Jungkook - entirely. And when Jungkook switched up his angle, made shorter and sharper strokes to hit one specific spot, Taehyung arched off of the bed and cried into Jungkook's mouth.

"Kookie," he whimpered, grinding himself against Jungkook in a search to feel that blinding pleasure again. "Fuck, please do that again. Please, I can't - oh."

Jungkook thrusted mercilessly at that same spot, drawing back to watch the elder's face contort. With every stroke of his hips, he learned that Taehyung's mouth opened just a little bit more, his tongue tracing along the underside of his teeth. And despite the yelps and curses that fell out of Taehyung's mouth, he never once closed his eyes.

"You feel so good, angel. So much better than my imagination," Jungkook grunted, temporarily slowing the ramming of his hips as he caressed the elder's face. "Perfect just for me."

Taehyung licked his lower lip, his gaze hooded over as he leaned up to watch Jungkook's cock plunge in and out of him. "I'm gonna come soon."

Jungkook pulled all the way out, obsessed with the way the elder's hole clenched in search of his cock, then pushed right back in. "Where's your stamina, angel? It hasn't been six hours yet."

"Feels too good, feels so fucking good. You're so thick inside of me, sweetheart. You fill me so well and I . . . I'm so fucking close."

To be honest, Jungkook was as well. The kissing and the foreplay and now this . . . He couldn't sustain much longer.

Quickly withdrawing, he scooted back and lowered his face to Taehyung's cock. He licked up his shaft, getting it nice and wet so the slide would be easier when he took him into his mouth. And then he suckled at his red and dripping tip, humming as he tasted the salty liquid on his tongue.

Taehyung moaned loudly, though he tried tugging at Jungkook's hair to get him to pull off. "No, no, no. I want to come with you inside of me."

"I know, angel. And you will. I'm just getting you nice and slippery for what we're going to do next, okay?"

Jungkook picked up the elder's cock and placed it between his lips, sinking down and taking him fully. Taehyung was so fucking hung it wasn't funny, and his girth quickly filled Jungkook's mouth fully.

"If you do that swallowing thing you did last time, I might not survive," the elder warned, running his hands throughout Jungkook's hair as he fought to keep his hips still. "I might -"

Taehyung's voice broke off into a moan as Jungkook did, in fact, do the swallowing thing he did last time. Taking the elder's cock completely into his mouth, the tip down his throat, he breathed through his nose and swallowed around him. And while it made Jungkook gag a little, the discomfort was nothing compared to Taehyung's pleasure.

"Kookie, please."

Jungkook met his eyes as he rose off of his cock, letting it fall back against the elder's stomach. "Are you going to come for me?"

"Yes. I'm almost there."

"Good boy," Jungkook smiled softly, rolling onto his back and taking hold of his cock. He held it in place for the elder. "Come here. Come sit."

"Fuck, okay," Taehyung breathed, rising off of his back and straddling Jungkook's pelvis. He lifted his hips up, allowing Jungkook to align himself once again.

"Sit," Jungkook ordered again after pushing a few centimeters into Taehyung.

Taehyung groaned as he slowly dropped his weight, his head tilting back from being even more filled than before. He held onto Jungkook's shoulders, helping him to better move and keep balance.

Once the elder was fully seated, Jungkook pulled him down onto his chest. Then he gripped onto Taehyung's ass, kneading the plump tissue as he rocked his hips up. "Slide your cock against my stomach, angel."

No further direction was needed as Taehyung did as was asked, thrusting his length forward and then rocking back onto Jungkook's cock. He bent forward and messily plunged his tongue into Jungkook's mouth, trading moans and sharing air.

And Jungkook was about to explode.

The feeling of Taehyung on top of him like this - fucking his cock and using his stomach for added stimulation - was too much for him to handle. His climax hovered just out of reach, though as difficult as it was to wait, he didn't try to achieve it just yet. He needed Taehyung to come first.

So he slammed his hips up harder, hitting Taehyung's prostate over and over and over again as his nails dug into his ass. He sucked on the elder's tongue and moaned loudly just the way he liked, doing all he could to push Taehyung over the edge.

"Fuck, Kook. I . . . I'm -" Taehyung choked on a scream, burying his face into Jungkook's neck as he spilled all over his stomach in hot, liquid waves.

And as the elder continued to come, continued to sob, Jungkook thrusted one last time. He came immediately, releasing inside of Taehyung and moaning out even louder than before. He continued moving, milking both of their orgasms as every one of his muscles tightened in a euphoric bliss.

🔥

Taehyung fell limp on top of him, seemingly unable to move as he pressed the gentlest of kisses onto Jungkook's neck. "Holy fuck."

Jungkook slowed the roll of his hips, attempting to regain his breath as he smoothed over the marks he dug into Taehyung's ass. "Holy fuck is right. Angel . . . Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect, sweetheart. You're perfect. That was so perfect, it was -"

"Perfect?" Jungkook giggled, trailing his hands up to brush through the elder's sweaty hair.

"You're perfect for me," Taehyung whispered, rising on shaky arms to look down at him. "And I'm so grateful to have you in my life."

Jungkook reached for his face, his fingers reverently tracing along his jaw. "You are my entire world, Kim Taehyung. You have shown me time and time again what it means to be brave, to put someone else before yourself, and to open yourself up completely. I'm so lucky to know you, so lucky to have you holding onto my heart."

Taehyung kissed him then, softly and slowly and so full of love. And as they once again got lost in the taste of the other's tongue, Jungkook was sure of one thing.

He was completely and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung, his angel.

And he couldn't wait to tell him.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《

Well, I didn't mean to break my word count record and write 12,300 words, but here we are. Don't get too used to this haha, I just felt like all of these scenes needed to be included in the same chapter.

What did we think of Tae and JK's grieving process? And how about their sweet yet 🔥🔥 experience together?

We talked a lot about grief in this chapter, and I wanted to make sure to combat a lot of myths about mourning. Everyone undergoes their unique grieving process and we really can't compare one experience to another. Writing really helped me understand a lot more than I did previously about grief, so hopefully you guys have found some new insights as well!

Overall, I've absolutely loved the development these two characters have had on their own and together. It's so funny to look back to the first few chapters and to see how different they used to be.

I love you all - hope you have a great week! 💜