NO FIGHTING PLEASE 

Chapter 4

“We’re going to be late!” my father screamed for the tenth time.

We were all waiting by the door, when I say we I mean my father, my mother, my brother and I.

Waiting for Charlie. So typical.

We had reservations at seven and it was almost six thirty and we needed at least thirty minutes of driving to get to the restaurant.

“I don’t feel like going, you guys go ahead and leave me here!” my little sister shouted back, while we all groaned in protest.

Really?

“Charlie you’re not staying home alone so you can throw a party or invite your boyfriend and make out with him while we’re gone!” my mother yelled in her I’m-not-amused-young-lady tone. It was pretty close to her you-did-not-just-break-my-new-Stokes-dish-set tone. But far from the so-you’re-telling-me-I-have-to-pay-the-fireman’s-departement-because-while-we-were-away-you-set-fire-to-the-bathroom’s-wall-smoking-your-joint tone.

“News flash I don’t have a boyfriend and I seriously don’t have the energy to throw a party mama! If I had the energy to throw a party I would be downstairs READY!” Charlie screamed back.

No, seriously are we really doing this right now? Why did my parents want to have another kid again? Go figure…

“Charlie! Raphaël’s going to be there! And so is Maude! So come on! Get you lazy butt downstairs!” I screamed.

The restaurant reservations included my parents’ friends Louis and Brigitte and their kids which we had been friends with since diapers; Élise, Raphaël and Maude. Élise was one year older then Frank, Raph was one year older than me and Maude was the same age as Charlie. We had pretty much grown up together. Maude was Charlie eldest friend and I knew for a fact that she always had a crush on Raph, which was completely understandable; Raph was hot, of course.

We could hear Charlotte stomping and groaning and then her door banging and her complaining all the way down the stairs.

Typical Charlie.

“Come on! Chop, chop,” mom hushed and we all finally got out the door, in the car and on our way to dinner.

I would have wanted to go to St-Hubert, for their brownies actually. I wanted one of their goddarn warm brownies, with the little chocolate sauce and ice cream… just thinking about it made me salivate. Screw the whole dinner, just a big ass brownie. My brother would have wanted to go to Buffet des Continents but he had been banned from there after making one of the customers puke by the nice way he handled the frog legs and oysters. Dad wanted to go to La Cage au Sports to listen to hockey while eating and even if the Canadiens’ scored five goals and you could have eight chicken wings for free he would still deny them; anything from the Canadiens was trash. And it wasn’t like they were scoring that much anyway…

But in the end, mom won, of course and we were going to an Italian restaurant I didn’t remember the name, she and Brigitte loved.

Go figure.

As I thought about my unreachable St-Hubert’s brownies I stared outside at the passing trees as we drove to the restaurant.

One of the nice things about Québec is the sight. Lakes and mountains and trees. Trees and trees and trees. Of course with the “coupe à blanc” that happened years ago, big corporations literally cut out entire forest to make paper with it, only leaving a small stretch of trees each side of the highway. Still if you went north, the forest was still there, if you drove east the forest was still there…

When we finally arrived to the restaurant, we weren’t that late but the Lacroix, our friends, were already there, sitting and waiting.

The usual, saluting, hugging and how-are-you-ing followed. The minute I saw Raph he stuck his tongue out at me and the proceeded to do Rico Chico moves with it so I just rolled my eyes and flipped him off.

His mom definitely dropped him too often on the head when he was a baby.

When you saw Raph, tall dark and handsome came to mind. Family on his mother side were Amerindians so he had that look to him, dark skin, dark hair, which was kind of ironic considering his older sister, Élise, was a paled skinned blue eyed pale brunette. It’s like he kept all the Amerindian to himself. Though Maude had brown hair and brown eyes her skin was more olive while Raph skin was dark, like borderline black skin.

Raph was like a second big brother to me. And I was a second little sister to him. It was the kind of friend you knew you could call if you wanted him to beat up someone. He had the shape to do it actually.

“So, how’s school?” Raph asked while I sat beside him at the table.

“You really need to ask?” I smirked a little.

He pushed my shoulder playfully. “Not necessary to rub it in Miss Tremblay”

I smiled, pushed his too, “Anyway, what about you? How’s school?”

Raph just grimaced and took a sip of water.

Raph was one year older than me but he was in the same grade; he had failed his Secondary Three and had to do it again, so that’s how he ended up in the same year as me. Though he wasn’t going to the same school. Raph went to a private school. His mother had gone to that school too, and so had my mom; that’s how they knew each other. I probably could have gone to it too but I wanted to be in the same school as Emma so I settled for public secondary school.

Small talk was exchange for a little while, Charlie didn’t seem in the mood to gossip with Maude, which was kind of odd, she was just leaning head on palm on the table and let Maude talk. Go figure…

Frank and Élise were arguing, already, that ought to be a record. They had dated a few years back but Élise had started to take her studies seriously, becoming responsible as she got older but Frank hadn’t and his “I don’t give a crap about anything” attitude had put an end to their relationship, though I was pretty sure they still both had feelings for each other. People were weird.

After the waitress had asked for our order, I got up and went to the bathroom.

While I washed my hands I looked up at myself in the mirror and grimaced. This was definitely a bad hair day. I should have tied them into a bun or a ponytail or something but I didn’t like to not have my hair around my face has a sort of screen, I felt naked without it.

I took a deep breath, and brushed my hand through my hair, trying to look a little more presentable, seriously I had gotten out of the house looking like this? Okay maybe it wasn’t that bad but still… ugh.

All I really wanted right now was to be home, reading a book, snuggled in a blanket on the couch in the living room while dad watched hockey. And then I could go to bed and I could dream about CD guy and I could see his face.

When had I become so pathetic? Really?

I mean, I was happy to see Raph and his sisters but I was just… still feeling blah.

I sighed, flipped my head upside down and shook it a little to help the haystack that substituted it today and then walked out.

The second I stepped out, I bumped into someone.

I looked up, the person was pretty darn tall, to apologize but my breath stuck in my throat.

I was waiting for the chorus of angel to come down from the ceiling with their harp singing Hallelujah.

It was HIM! CD guy! I had just bumped into CD guy! Holy phoquing Christ! This could not be happening right now? Oh my god. Christ, Christ, Christ. How lucky could I be? Or unlucky?  I mean, why today? I looked like a rag.

Shut up Azé. Yes Azé.

Christ!

He’s here, here! How was that even… I mean… thoughts slipping away…

I was frozen and staring up at CD guy. Seriously, the guy was tall; I didn’t remember him being so tall. I couldn’t say anything or even move for that matter.

There was this book I read once, ‘Azalaïs ou la Vie Courtoise’. I loved that book. Not only because the girl had a name similar to mine, but also because it was a historical romance and I loved those. And there was particular scene that was engraved in my memory; while Azalaïs was in a hurry and going down the stairs in the castle she had bumped into someone, Him, Hugues, the boy she loves but she couldn’t have, the one she had never even really talked or spent time with, just looked from afar, well that boy the second he had looked at her and recognized her he had wrapped his arms around her, and he had kissed her. That whole scene was barely more than a paragraph but it haunted me. It was so beautiful. And I could just see it in my head. They didn’t even exchange one word, footsteps had been heard and they had to parted, but in that kiss was everything she had been dreaming of and hoping.

In that single moment.

And now I couldn’t help but think about that scene because that’s all I wanted to happen right now, for the unnamed possessor of my devotion to wrap his arms around me and kiss me and show me I wasn’t the only one who had been thinking about him for the past week.

But he didn’t, of course he didn’t, he just said sorry and walked the way he had been going. Though I could swear that for a second, a tiny second, something had crossed in his eyes, like recognition, maybe it wasn’t love or shock and happiness because that he had finally found me again, but honestly I would take recognition. Recognition was better then nothing right?

I turned around, to look back at him and watched his back until he disappeared in the guy’s bathroom.

Maybe I could just walk in there and force myself on him. Not even introduce myself just attack him or something.

Christ… he was here, here, the guy I had been thinking about for the last week, almost every second, the one I was sure I would never see again, was in the same restaurant as me.

Why hadn’t I seen him? Maybe he had just arrived… Oh please, Kurt Cobain, please he has to have just arrived. That way I’ll be able to spot him and stare at him while eating.

Not even in my dreams I could have invented a scenario like this. And in my head scenarios he would have recognized me and be as giddy as I was… Okay maybe that was asking a lot… it’s not because we had played eyes-evasion in a CD store that the guy had to remember me…

But it would have been nice…

Wait? Was I complaining! The guy was in the same phoquing restaurant as me! I had no right to whine because he hadn’t gone all “let’s skip into the sunset together”.

I willed my legs to walk me back to the table, glancing back every two seconds to be sure to not miss him when he would walk out.

“You okay? You look… flushed?” Raph asked me, when I sat down, frowning.

“Huh? Me? No, fine… heat, drying hands you know… warm…” I trailed, not really knowing what I was saying, taking a sip of water, my eyes glued to where CD guy would walk out.

Could I take my cellphone and take a picture of him inconspicuously? Would that be seen as stalking? I mean I wasn’t stalking at all, I had totally unpurposely bumped into him. Woo… was that a word… huh…

“Azé, did you do drugs in the bathroom?” Raph asked, snapping me out of my thinking.

“No! Why are you asking that?”

“You’re not making sense, if it’s not drug, a stroke could be a reason for incoherent talking though” he trailed finding obvious amusement in me.

I glared a little but didn’t bother looking his way for too long. He wasn’t worth missing my CD guy.

I’m pretty sure Raph kept on saying stuff, I knew I heard him talk but I was really not paying attention. I figured I would be ashamed of myself when I would be back in the car, no point in feeling like a pitiful giddy school girl just yet. Anyway I think he was just babbling incoherent stuff to make fun of me because I wasn’t paying attention. I did that sometimes with my dad when he watched hockey. I would sit beside him and start saying things like I had been impregnated by an alien, I was hiding corpses in my wardrobe, I was planning on dropping out of school and becoming a stripper, mom was having an affair with the milkman, you know that usual stuff…

When CD guy finally appeared out of the bathroom and made his way to a table that was right from ours and kind of hard for me to get a good look because of other people’s head, I started to freak more.

Part of me had thought about the fact that I might have just imagined seeing him or had mistaken a stranger for him, but I was certain now, for the time I saw him making his way to his table, he looked exactly like CD guy and the way I was feeling even though he was far was the same. Palm getting sweaty, heart threatening to rip out of my ribcage though since he was a little far away it felt like someone was pressing it in their hands, I had a hard time breathing, I felt weightless, my thoughts were incoherent…

Seriously how was that even possible? Could I really be that lucky? Okay I wasn’t talking with him, not even close but I could look at him, if the old lady with the hair that looked like an afro could move to the left a little I’d have a way better visual though…

The rest of the dinner passed in a blur, I kept glancing towards the CD guys, table, trying to see him, now and then when everyone’s head was angled the right way I could and my heart would beat faster. Raph kept making fun of me, Charlie kept her bored and tired attitude, Frank and Élise kept fighting and I distinctly hear our parents talk about how Pauline Marois was having such a hard time leading the Parti Québecois, not only because she just felt like a whining old aunt but also since André Boisclair had left it in such a bad condition. Even if he had been a great spokesman when he was the leader, the older generation of Quebeckers hadn’t been ready for a gay prime minister also, the coke consummation didn’t really help his image and so the 2007 elections shouldn’t even be mentioned since they got the smallest share of population votes since 1973 and they came third in seats number at the National Assembly.  Blah blah blah, I could recite that ranting in my sleep…

It was much easier to bitch about the mean red Libérals and their curly Jean Charest than find flaws in the blue Parti Québecois so they stick to that topic for a while.  

When the time for dessert came, they didn’t have brownies so that put a little bump to my evening, Raph started to poke me on the side and asked “Why is Elliot Roy staring at you?”

I slapped his hand and frowned “What?”

“That guy over there,” he said, motioning to the CD guy’s table with his chin, “he’s been looking your way ever since he got here. Why is that?”

For a second I think my brain went crash-dead-boom and I couldn’t move, blink, breathe, my heart might have actually stopped beating.

Holy dead-on-a-shore phoque!

The Gods must love me! That was the only explanation possible. Or I was just dreaming this…Raphaël knew him, freaking knew him? If it hadn’t been for the fact that we were in public and well the guy I think I liked was there, I could have quite literally kissed him! And I had his name! I had his freaking name! I felt like I could dance with joy, break into a dance on the freaking table in a choreography of High-School-Musical proportion.

It took all my strength to stay seated and I think I actually had spasms in my leg.

Raph knew him, CD guy’s name was Elliot Roy and Raph knew him.

Miracles happen, a pig somewhere must have wings, a chicken teeth, and Québec will one day be a country of its own.

“Who is he?” I faked unknowingness and tried to not squeal and jump up and down and scream something completely inappropriate. It’s like I was so excited that I was on the verge of developing Tourette and just shout really inappropriate things. I had issues…

Raph shrugged, “He goes to my school.”

I almost grabbed him by the collar and shook him! Talk you muthaeffer! But in reality I just said “Hmm…” and took a sip of water, though my hands were shaking when I did that ergo the water was shaking and I almost made a mess on the table.

Okay, wow, seriously, get a grip lady or I will intern you.

Yes m’am.

“How do you know him?” Raph asked me, stopping my inner monologue yet again.

Doopsi doops. Playing dumb, that ought to be easy. “I don’t know him”

Raph smiled, shook his head a snorted a little all at the same time, “Then why have you been staring his way ever since he got here”

“I haven’t…”

“You have”

“I haven’t!”

“You have”

“Shut up!”

He laughed, I glared and started to play with the tablecloth, folding it and unfolding it. Technically I should just agree and say I had seen him at the CD store, I was probably madly in love with him and I had serious issues, that was what I should have been doing that way I could have asked him a ton of questions and know everything he knew about him.

It really sucks that reality is never what you technically should be doing.

Because there was no way in hell I was admitting my little infatuation, even if that meant getting info on the boy. I was stubborn, I had issues and that was a really stupid thing to do, or not do but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t going to admit to maybe-liking someone when I was crusading on the foolishness of love.

Ugh! Inner conflicts! Those sucked!

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, pouting and sighing. “I need a brownie,” I groaned. That made Raph laugh.

And when he did, I was looking CD guy’s way, well Elliot’s way, and he looked my way and our gaze locked and I could swear he smiled.  

© DarknessAndLight, 2011

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A/N: I just wanted to apologize for the really long wait. I feel bad too. Also, just a little clarification I never did, sometimes I change the name of the places, like the river I mention in one of the previous chapters, there's no St-Amant rivers, but normally I don't change names like that and even if I do the places I explain actually exist, I just change to not get stalked! ;P

Wow.. that was a lot of change.

So anyway I think that's all... again, sorry for the long wait.