(Ravine POV)

"Hello, Earth to Ravine? Did you hear what I say?" Sister Charity clicked her fingers in front of my face.

"Oh gosh! I am so sorry, what was that again?" I asked.

"Did you cram your recent writings?" She asked with a raised brow.

"Kind of?" I said.

"I knew it. It's not worthy of you. It's not Ravine. There's so many grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and some of the things you said are quite redundant. You are going to have to redo some of these, okay?" Sister Charity reprimanded me.

"Fine!" I said in a melancholic tone.

"Ravine, do you still want to write? Do you still want me to help you?" She asked.

"What?"

"With how you are behaving right now, you don't seem that invested anymore. If you have lost your interest in your writing, then let me know because I don't want to waste my time on a student who will not give his very best effort to achieve something that I know and you know you can perfectly achieve." Sister Charity scolded me and I don't blame her at all.

"No, it's not that, Sister!" I said.

"Then what is it? Is it a family problem? Does it have something to do with school?" She asked.

"I'm sorry about being distracted lately but I kept thinking about it and I just can't get it off my head." I said.

"Is it something that concerns me, dear? You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable. You could have just said that something's up and I would have gotten the hint already and I would have been more lenient with my words today." She said.

"No, it's okay. I want to tell you!" I said. "It's about Sash!"

"What about him?" She asked.

"Long story short, we had our Literature final examination and it's called the mock wedding. The whole class nominated me and Sash to be the wedding couple and when the day of the mock wedding arrived, we kissed, of course and ever since that day, I couldn't get it off my head. I kept thinking about it all the time and I don't even know why." I said.

"You kept thinking about that kiss?" Sister asked.

"Yes!"

"When he kissed you, did you like it or not?"

"What?" I asked with my widened eyes.

"Did you like it or not?"

"I liked it, of course!" I admitted.

"That explains everything already. Your feelings for him are getting stronger, Ravine. I told you, your resistance is going to slowly fade. You are about to give in to it, you know it and I know it." Sister said.

"What shall I do? I like him and everything but what if he doesn't even like me? What if this just ends up the same as my first relationship?" I asked.

"Ravine, what did I say about the past? Let it go, this is college. It's time for you to reinvent yourself, and live a little more and rise above." She said.

"Yeah, okay. Noted!" I said.

"In the meantime, try working on these writings again. Redo it. You're way better than this. Show me the revisions next week, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Good! You're dismissed."

Later...

"What are you writing over there, Ravine?" J.T. asked before sipping from her Espresso.

"Trying to rewrite these again. Sister Charity isn't happy with what I gave her so I basically have to redo it all." I said

"Did she really offer to mentor you for four years for free?" Clare asked.

"Yeah. She said I have a gift." I said, not taking my eyes off the paper I am writing on.

"Well, good for you. Don't forget us if you become famous like J.K Rowling, okay?" J.T. said.

"I would never." I giggled.

"By the way, how are you and Sash right now? Are things still awkward between the two of you?" Clare said.

"I don't know but the dorm got quieter than usual and we kind of started talking to each other less and less these days and I don't even know why." I said.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault. I thought the mock wedding would be the perfect opportunity for you guys to step your relationship up a notch but instead, it drove you guys apart. I am sorry." Clare said.

"It's nothing. Do not worry about it anymore. We'll be fine." I said.

"Why don't you ask him if he wants to hang out with us right now?" J.T. suggested. "Try messaging him right at this moment."

"I have to finish this first." I said before storming off the coffee shop.

I lied. I completely lied to them. Sash is actually the one making the effort to talk to me this entire time and I am the one who kept avoiding him. As much as I like him, there's no way I will risk my heart being shattered again. What if I say "Sash, I can't hide my feelings for you anymore."? What if his reply will be "Oh I am sorry, Ravine but I am not gay."? No way! Not today, Satan!  I cannot let my guard down. Also, I can't be in a relationship, knowing that what happened to me before could happen again this time. Not to mention the fact that Sash is every girls' eye candy. If ever we become a thing, I am going to have to put up a good fight to keep him away from these girls and to fight for him and I am not willing to do that. I know that every guy out there, gay, straight or bi, is prone to fooling around with some people. I am never going to be cheated on again. I am not going to break my heart. It may be a cowardly thing to do but it's the smartest decision to make.