I am cracking

I find myself in my old dark home

With darkness, isolation, depression, and self-hate my only friends

I feel an intense degree of wanderlust

I'm dreaming of abandoning all responsibility and following the wind

Letting go of what little human connection I have

Simply going not looking back

I'm an asshole

I refuse to compromise even a little in any part of my life

It's simply selfishness I call self-respect

Continuously I push anyone who shows kindness away

Forcing myself into a pit of loneliness

Many men and women want me

But none of them love me

Everyday fades together

I wake, work, rest, repeat

Lying to myself I say I'm going to become a writer

No one is going to read this.