Hagrid grips his hands around the thick ropes, lugging the massive twenty foot Christmas tree behind him through the snowy courtyard. James appears at his side, grabbing one of the ropes to help. "Bloody hell Hagrid!" he grunts, sliding against the slippery cobblestone. "How do you pull this thing by yourself? Oi Padfoot!"

Sirius sidles over to them, holding a large bucket in hand. "No offense, Prongs, but you look pathetic."

Hagrid laughs with a joyful smile, watching James struggle to move the tree. "Nicknames, eh?" he asks.

"Yeah," James says wiping the muck off his hands. "You want one, too?"

"You can be an honorary Marauder," Sirius tells him.

"Where's the rest 'o yer lot?" Hagrid asks.

James smirks knowingly, "Peter had a date, Hagrid."

Hagrid's eyebrows raise, staring down at the two boys in front of him. "Blimey!" he bellows. "Wit' who?"

"Mary MacDonald," Sirius answers.

"And it gets better!" James adds.

"They kissed!"

Hagrid smiles like a proud dad, hiking the rope higher onto his shoulder. "Ah good lad. Reckon one 'o you will be next."

"I'm working on it," James sighs despairingly.

"Run along you two. I can't be gossipin' no more."

"Bye Hagrid!" Sirius shouts, taking off with James hot on his tail.

The two frolic, though they would deny it to anybody who said so, in the snow on the way back into the castle. Students could hardly pay attention in class, even less so than before, with the upcoming holidays. Peter had arranged to stay at James' over the break while his parents were traveling in the States, and the invitation was open to the rest as well. Sirius smiled alongside his mates while they discussed the topic of going home, but deep inside he was absolutely terrified. Home was here at Hogwarts.

"Hey Moony!" James calls, high-fiving the boy. "Sirius and I are going to throw snowballs at seventh years, you in?"

"Maybe later," Remus says sliding past them into the common room.

He hadn't spoken to Abigail since their fight and it wasn't settling well with him. The one thing he needed was a good book to put himself at ease, but the only book he wanted wasn't anywhere to be found. Picking up the pillow on the couch, he drops his shoulders in disappointment when there's nothing but cushion. He was certain he'd left it here...

Another walk around the common room still left his hands empty. He had already searched the dorm twice through - hoping one of the guys had picked it up. Crashing onto the couch, he kicks his feet up in distraught. The fire blazes in front of him, bursts of embers shooting into the chimney before cascading down onto the hearth. A pile of ashes sifts between the grates, catching his eye. He promptly clambers to his feet and crawls over to the fireplace to inspect it closer. "Reducio," he says fixating his wand on the fire. It dwindles down to a singular flame, allowing Remus to reach in and grab the frayed bits buried in the ashes.

The small fragments he salvages of the powdery burnt pages muddle between his fingers, coating them with grey film. The words he had read countless of times over and over again were wilting before his eyes. Underneath the grate, he slides his hand under and clutches the remaining of the book cover. The faded letters are even more scratched up and stained with soot. The only letters remaining are: T e Ou  id  s

Remus clenches the sliver of paper left in his right hand, tossing the ashes in his other back into the heightening flames. He flares his nose, fuming with a newfound rage. Tearing through the portrait, he strides straight to the Great Hall - each step hitting harder than the last.

Before he knows it, he's marching up the aisle right to Abigail. She sits slightly aside from her four roommates, yet close enough to seem a part of their conversation. Her eyes are bloodshot and the bags underneath have darkened considerably. He tosses the scrap of the book cover in front of her, causing the surrounding people to look at the scene unfolding.

"Abigail," Remus says. He slams both hands down onto the table, startling both Marlene and Lily who sit on either side of him. "You burned my book."

"It's just a book," Abigail replies with a tone of apathy. "You have plenty more."

"You threw my book into a fucking fire, Abigail! You know how much it means to me!"

"I thought I meant a lot to you, too. But here we are."

Remus inhales sharply through his nose.

The girls exchange glances of confusion, but none dare interfere.

"Was it all a lie?" Abigail sneers, her voice growing louder as she stands to match him. "I gave you everything and you repay me by sleeping with some sleaze on the side? And you wouldn't even sleep with me!" More heads turn in their direction, whispers beginning to ignite like wildfire.

"I didn't sleep with anybody," Remus fumes under his breath.

"I can't believe you'd lie to me still! I trusted you! God I'm an idiot, Lily said..." Remus' eyes flicker to the redhead beside him. "She said you weren't the type to cheat - that you'd never cheat on me with another girl!" Abigail swipes away the tears brimming her waterline.

Remus' disposition wavers slightly; his previously rigid stance cowers down and his face is pained with guilt. I cheated, he confesses to himself shamefully. I deserve this. He straightens up, moving to walk away when Abigail shouts two words that he'd never faced before.

"You're gay!" Abigail announces boldly to the hall. The words slip through her lips with a venomous grit. Not one flinch of remorse.

Remus is brought to a standstill. It feels as if a wave has come crashing overhead and there's nothing he can do but be swept away.

"What?" he seethes, whipping around viciously.

"Abigail," Lily harshly scolds.

The blonde ignores her, raising a challenging eyebrow at Remus. He makes his way around the Gryffindor table until he's standing before her. He leans down so their faces are level, and his eyes are blazing; the gentle honey amber was now turned a darkened almost tawny whiskey shade.

In a rash decision, Remus cups his hands around her cheeks and pulls her desperately against his lips. It's passionless. Harsh. Loathsome even. But it's a kiss. And Abigail melts into his arms immediately.

Remus breaks away abruptly, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the Great Hall. The walk is fast paced as he nearly drags her along behind him. Abigail follows willingly, knowing what's to come, keeping her lips welded shut.

The fourth floor corridor is empty, nothing but the pair as they enter a classroom. Remus slams the door with a loud bang, flipping the lock. He whips around, reaching with one hand to pull his shirt off in one swift move.

Abigail's chest fluctuates as she props herself up on one of the desks. Remus stands between her legs, his hands ravaging over her milky skin. His lips attach to her neck, attacking it with sopping kisses. Abigail's moans are high pitched, shriek-like, piercing his ears. He bears through it, moving to her lips to keep the moans at bay. He hates every second of it, but he can't seem to stop himself.

The second she tugs off her sweater, Remus grips the seam of her button up and rips it apart sending the buttons flying across the room. Abigail lays back on the desk, letting Remus lick down the crevasse of her cleavage. Her eyes flutter shut in ecstasy, whimpering at every feathery light touch. The moment isn't what she has always envisioned, but it's what she's always wanted.

And Abigail always gets what she wants.

*

*

*

Remus jumps slightly as he slides his trousers on. His back is lined with scratches trailing all the way up to his neck, a distant sting to the redness. Leaning against the desk to button his shirt, Abigail's slender fingers run over his exposed chest from the back, wrapping around him tightly.

"Remus," Abigail says softly. "I know we can work this out. We've done it before."

Remus bites his lip tightly, hanging his head low. A thin layer of tears blankets over his eyes, haunted with remorse. The walls of the vast room inch closer around him, suffocating him from feeling anything. Deep inside he's drowning, but nobody can hear him.

He skims his hand over his hair, breaking away from her touch. "I'm sorry I cheated - I truly am. I'll never forgive myself for doing it. I never wanted you to feel the way I did...I wouldn't wish that on anybody."

"Remus that was ages ago!"

"That doesn't change the past, Abigail. I forgave you before, but I can't do this. This was a mistake."

"No it wasn't! Remus please." Abigail's bare feet pad against the cold floor, helplessly rushing after him. Remus doesn't reply. His hand clings to the door handle, but is unable to twist it when she speaks again. "We both know you're better off with me in the long run." He tilts his head to listen. "You and I. We're supposed to be together. We're good for each other, Remus."

"What do you know what's good for me?" he asks, his voice faint.

"Imagine what people will say. Think about your parents!" Her hand brushes over his, an icy chill trailing up his arm. "You need me."

Remus pries open the door, her words left ringing in his mind.