I woke up on Monday morning to hundreds of mentions on Twitter. Louis had favourited my tweet to him and Liam in the early hours, and that, coupled with the retweet and the follow, had set the rumour mill off again. I suspected he had only done it to wind Harry up, particularly as he had overheard Harry's side of the conversation on Sunday, but even so I was chuffed that he had seen it and acknowledged it.

I thought of nothing but Harry over the next two days, but heard nothing, and I made no attempt to contact him. Quite frankly, I didn't know what to say.

I felt the situation was now so awkward I wasn't sure we would ever recover from it. I was still annoyed that he had told me off for tweeting Louis and apparently winding him up. As far as I was concerned I had only done what any dedicated 1D fan would do, but had been singled out for out all the wrong reasons. And I still stood by what I'd said about Harry's reluctance to deny any rumours publicly about his 'womanising ways'. I understood he didn't want to add fuel to the fire by commenting, but I felt I'd still made a valid point.

As it turned out, I didn't have to wait long for the next slap in the face.

As I walked to the tube station on Wednesday morning a magazine stand outside Costa Coffee caught my eye and sent a sick feeling to the pit of my stomach. The front cover of Heat magazine had a picture of Harry and a brunette I didn't recognise, with the headline "HARRY'S NORMAL NEW GIRLFRIEND!" with the subheading "They've been dating for 3 months and already have matching tattoos."

I snatched up the magazine, my heart pounding. I flicked to the right page and was just about to begin reading when the owner of the shop appeared at my side.

"You open it, you buy it, lady."

"Fine," I huffed. I handed him the correct money and scurried down the steps onto the platform and began to read. I couldn't take it in.

There were pictures that this girl, Joy Muggli, had posted on instagram, which had supposedly been taken at some golf resort that Harry had been visiting on the same weekend. There was a picture from her Twitter account of "their lunch date", with a hand that looked suspiciously like Harry's across the other side of the table. And worst of all, there was a picture of this Joy Muggli apparently wearing Harry's leather jacket. I held the picture close to my face and examined it. If it wasn't Harry's actual jacket, it was an exact replica. I wanted to vomit.

I don't know how I made it to my office when I couldn't even see where I was going due to the tears pouring down my face. I could vaguely see camera flashes up ahead as I approached the building and I automatically lifted my hand to cover my face. I did not want the world to see my misery.

Sarah and Gary were waiting for me outside on the pavement and Sarah put her arm around me and ushered me inside, stepping on a pap's toe with her stiletto heel in a gesture that didn't seem particularly accidental. The pap yelped in pain and I felt a fleeting pang of triumph and smiled gratefully at her through my tears.

They guided me along the corridor and straight through into Nicki's office, where Gary bowed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I take it you've seen Heat magazine," Nicki said grimly, and I nodded, wiping my face.

"Is it true?" Sarah asked.

"Not a clue," I said. "We had a blazing row on Sunday night and we haven't spoken since. I don't want to go into details," I said when Sarah opened her mouth. She closed it again and gave me a one armed hug.

"Don't you think you should call Harry?" Nicki asked.

"There's no point," I said. "I can tell you exactly how the conversation will go. 'It's not true, we're just friends, everyone's got the wrong end of the stick and I'm the victim.' And I'll be expected to believe him, even though the pictures prove he's a liar. But he won't say anything to deny it publicly because that would be feeding the frenzy."

I pulled the magazine out of my bag and took a picture of the front cover. I quickly sent it to Harry.

To: Harry Styles: Nice.

His response was immediate.

From: Harry Styles: Any point telling you it isn't true?

To: Harry Styles: Nope.

From: Harry Styles: How would I keep another girlfriend secret from you for three months??? Come on!

To: Harry Styles: Without wanting to throw this in your face because I'm "hormonal and in the mood for a fight," you managed to hide your fuck buddy for two years

From: Harry Styles: I never denied that. I am denying this.

To: Harry Styles: I don't see an official statement. And why bother anyway? It's out in the open now. I hope you'll be very happy together.

From: Harry Styles: IT'S NOT TRUE

To: Harry Styles: Don't believe you, sorry.

I got up and walked out of Nicki's office, throwing Heat magazine in the bin on my way. I sat down at my desk, switched my laptop on and threw myself into my work.

Nicki and Sarah went out and got me a sandwich at lunchtime so I didn't have to face any photographers, but apparently by the time they got back the paps were nowhere to be seen. Presumably they'd already got what they wanted. I checked the Daily Mail and wasn't surprised to see a short story about my apparent heartbreak underneath the one about Harry and his new (or not so new) girlfriend. The photos of me were terrible; I had mascara running down my cheeks and a miserable look on my face. No wonder Harry had gone off with someone else, judging by the state of me.

I was mortified. I switched my phone off and threw it in my bag, unable to stomach any more of this humiliation.

When it got to 5pm I peered out of the door and saw the coast was clear. I was just about to make a run for it when Sarah grabbed my arm.

"Jess there's something I think you need to see," she said.

"If it's Harry Styles related, I really don't," I said, shaking my head.

"Trust me, you really do," she insisted. "His agent has released an official statement, denying he even knows this Joy Muggli girl. According to this, they've never even met."

I stared at her. "What?"

She smiled at me. "He's spoken out publicly, Jess. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Wha... but why?" I stammered.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Probably because he's telling the truth and he wants you to believe him?"

She handed me her phone and I read the tweet from his agent. She was right; it fully denied the rumours.

"Call him," she said softly.

I sighed. "I'm so sick of this. I don't think I can take any more ups and downs. I just want a break from it. Everywhere I turn he's there in some form or another, be it on Twitter, the Daily Mail, Heat magazine... I'm so unhappy."

"Do you want to be with him?"

I closed my eyes. "I honestly, genuinely don't know anymore. I don't know how he copes with all this shit in his life all the time. I don't think I'm cut out for it."

"You need to talk to him," Sarah said seriously. "You need to sort this out."

"I know," I sighed again. "And I will."

Sarah accompanied me to the tube station and we went our separate ways. I switched my phone on when I got home and immediately a text from Harry came through.

From: Harry Styles: I've just seen the pictures of you today online. I am so so sorry, I had no idea you were this upset. I swear it isn't true and I will sort this out xxx

My heart lurched at his words, at the kisses, and at what he had done for me. I wanted to believe him, but there was only so much I could take. These rumours, the intrusion and the scrutiny were all taking their toll on me. As much as I knew I was in love with Harry, I couldn't put myself through it anymore.

I picked up my phone and called him. He answered almost straight away.

"Hi," he said. He sounded happy, but wary.

"Hi," I sighed.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Not great," I said awkwardly.

"Because of me?"

"Because of the media," I said.

"Do you believe me about this girl?"

I half laughed. "If I had a pound for every time we'd said that to each other over the last two months I'd be as rich as you."

He laughed sadly. "Yeah, probably."

There was a silence. I knew I had to do it before I lost my bottle.

"Harry," I began, my voice trembling.

"No, don't say it," he said, and I paused. "I can tell what's coming, Jess. Please don't do this."

I felt a lump forming in my throat. "I can't do this anymore, Harry."

He sighed. "I swear... I swear on my life I don't know this girl. I've never even heard of her."

"It's.. it's not about that," I said, my voice breaking. "It's everything. This was just the last straw."

"What do you mean, everything?" Oh God, his voice was wavering now. I wasn't sure I'd be able to continue.

I took a deep breath. "I can't deal with this rollercoaster," I tried to explain. "It hasn't stopped since the minute we met. It's one thing after another, with kiss and tells, fuck buddies, media intrusion... one minute we're fine, the next we're screaming down the phone at each other. I feel like a cat on hot bricks. I'm unable to relax because in the back of my mind I'm always thinking I wonder what's coming next? And it's not in a good way. It shouldn't be like this."

"People are always going to print shit about me," he said, his voice sounding muffled and higher than usual. "I can't stop it. I got them to release a statement - did you see it? I asked them to deny it publicly. I did that for you. For us."

"I know," I said, feeling tears spill down my cheeks. "And I understand what it cost you to do that."

"It's not about money," he mumbled.

"I didn't mean that," I sniffed. "I mean I know you don't usually respond to rumours about anything, but you made an exception for this, despite the potential backlash."

"I thought it was what you wanted."

"It was," I gulped, wiping away the tears from my face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mess you about. I just can't do this anymore. I can't put myself through it. You're not here, you're half way around the world. It's not like you can put your arms around me and make it all go away."

"If you'd just trust me," he whispered. "It's worse because you believe it every time."

"How can I not?" I sighed. "I've known you two months and this is the fourth time you've had to ask me to turn my back on the evidence and put my faith in you. I've tried, Harry, I really have, but... I just can't go on like this."

"So I'm not worth the hassle," he said.

"It's not that," I said, a sob escaping my lips. "Of course you are. You're amazing. It's me. I'm not strong enough to deal with it. It's not your fault; I know it's not your fault. I wish I was the sort of person who could blindly trust you without question and ignore what the rest of the world is saying. But I'm not that person. And deep down I will always feel inadequate, like I'm not good enough for you."

"You are perfect for me," he whispered, and I squeezed my eyes shut as more tears fell down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," I sobbed.

"No I'm sorry," he said, and I could hear tears in his voice. "I'm sorry I hurt you and made you unhappy. I never meant to."

"I know," I said.

There was silence as we both sniffed. I heard Harry draw a shaky breath and I felt a fresh wave of emotion engulf me.

"Jess, will you answer me something honestly?"

"If I can," I said, trying to get my voice under control.

"What did you mean in the airport before you left? You said you'd nearly told me something. What was it?"

My heart was pounding. For once, my subconscious had no words of wisdom to offer. What would be the point in telling him I was in love with him now? It wouldn't make the blindest bit of difference. It wouldn't change the fact I wasn't strong enough to put up with the shit that came with being Harry Styles' girlfriend. If anything, it would just make this breakup even harder.

"It doesn't matter now," I said.

"It matters to me," he mumbled.

"It was nothing important," I lied. "I can't remember properly anyway."

"Oh."

There was another few seconds of silence. I didn't want to end this call, because I knew when I did it would mean I would never get to speak to Harry Styles ever again. But I knew I couldn't prolong it any further.

"I should go," I said, hearing my voice crack again.

"OK," he said, his own voice sounding a bit strangled too.

"I'm really sorry I couldn't be the person you deserve," I sobbed.

He didn't answer, but I could hear scuffling at the other end of the phone so I knew he had heard me.

"Bye Harry," I said.

"Bye, baby," he whispered, and I heard the disconnect tone.

"I love you," I whispered, before I fell face down onto my bed and sobbed.

~~~~~~~~

"Let me get this straight - you dumped Harry Styles?!"

Callie stared at me open-mouthed.

"It wasn't that simple," I said, my eyes filling with fresh tears. "It was practically making me ill, Cal. I was a pathetic mess. I've never been like that over a guy before. I had to end it before it consumed me."

It was Sunday afternoon - No Control Day. Callie was round at my flat keeping me company while I moped and played No Control on repeat on YouTube and Spotify (this was the first time I had listened to any One Direction songs since I got back from LA).

I hadn't actually stopped crying since I ended things with Harry. It was like someone had turned on a tap behind my eyes. Tears fell down my face constantly - and I mean constantly. I hadn't been able to wear mascara all week. I was an emotional wreck.

I was embarrassed at how pathetic I was being. I'd dated the guy for two months and I was acting like somebody had died. I'd avoided leaving my flat whenever possible because I couldn't bear for the rest of the world to see me not coping. I could honestly say I had never been this affected by anything in my whole life. Maybe I'd just been really fortunate not to have ever had anything really bad happen to me.

I'd thought that by ending things with Harry I'd feel better, like a weight had been lifted. But I was actually feeling worse. Every cell in my body ached from missing him. I couldn't stop thinking about him; what he was doing, how he was feeling, whether he missed me, whether I would ever bump into him again... it seemed unlikely our paths would ever cross again, with him being an international superstar and hardly ever in the country, but now I was sort of acquainted with Nick Grimshaw and some of his circle of friends I couldn't help wondering (hoping?) if fate would ever realign our worlds. I needed to stop obsessing over it and move on with my life.

Easier said than done.

I had contemplated deleting Twitter, or creating a new account that had nothing to do with One Direction, but I wasn't quite ready to break those ties just yet. Instead I'd turned off all my notifications and refused to even open the app until now.

But today was No Control Day, as well as the Billboard Music Awards, and I had to tweet something, even if it was just the hashtags. I opened up Twitter and went straight to a new tweet and typed:

Happy #NoControlDay ! #NoControl #ProjectNoControl

It may have been boring but it was all I could bring myself to put out there. I wanted to mention Louis and Liam again but I didn't want Harry thinking I was rubbing his nose in it or trying to get attention so I left it at that.

About an hour later my phone pinged with a Twitter DM. I almost didn't open it, but curiosity got the better of me.

From: @Louis_Tomlinson: Nice to see the support is still going ! How are you? x

The tears that were permanently leaking from my eyes increased their flow.

"What's up?" Callie asked.

"Louis has just DM'd me," I sobbed.

She hesitated. "Jess... wasn't this break up supposed to be for the best? Because right now I'm having trouble seeing how it's made anything better. You seem worse than when you were with him. Are you sure you made the right decision?"

I nodded. "I don't want to go through my reasons again. Nothing's changed. I'll be alright, I just need time."

Callie sighed. I could tell she didn't agree but she didn't push it. "What are you going to do about your One Direction concert tickets?" she asked tentatively.

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I can't face seeing him but I don't want to let Maddie down. I might drive them there and wait outside the stadium or something. Or I might see if Nicki wants my tickets so she can go with Sarah. I'll wait until nearer the time."

I looked back at Louis' DM and quickly typed one back.

To: @Louis_Tomlinson: You deserve it for this song. It's one of the best you guys wrote. I'm a mess, thanks for asking. How are you all? x

From: @Louis_Tomlinson: He's terrible
From: @Louis_Tomlinson: Can't you sort it out?
From: @Louis_Tomlinson: He's never even met that muggle girl

To: @Louis_Tomlinson: It's not about her. It's nothing we can sort out. It's me, I can't deal with it anymore. I can't trust him, but it's not his fault.

From: @Louis_Tomlinson: Did you watch us on The Late Late Show with James Corden?

To: @Louis_Tomlinson: No, it's still a bit raw.

A picture message came through from Louis, and my heart jumped. It was a photo of Harry sitting on the sofa in a studio, filming The Late Late Show. He looked good, but there was obviously a point Louis was trying to make that I was missing. I stared at it for a minute, studying every inch of Harry's face. My heart ached.

From: @Louis_Tomlinson: Nice necklace he's wearing, don't you think?

I looked back at the picture, my heart pounding. Hanging around Harry's neck was the pendant I'd bought him from the vintage shop in West Hollywood.

~~~~~~~~~~

At work on Monday all anyone could talk about was Taylor Swift trouncing everyone at the BBMAs. Due to the fact her name made me want to puke, I kept my head down and shut myself off from the office conversations. I was having trouble dealing with the thought that Harry would have been in the same place as her last night, and couldn't stop myself from wondering if they had hooked up. There was nothing to stop him if he wanted to, as we weren't together anymore (had we even been official? Did it count if it only lasted less than a day?) although I knew she was supposedly going out with Calvin Harris now, and I presumed he had been there too. I avoided all forms of social media as usual, terrified of seeing or hearing something that would add to my heartbreak.

When I got home from work, Sarah had texted me.

From: Sarah: I know you don't want to know about Harry or One Direction but I'm making an executive decision. You need to see this xxx

This text was followed by a couple of screenshots of Daily Mail articles, and a couple of pictures of Harry. I examined each of them in turn, my stomach churning. According to the articles, there had been an afterparty at the BBMAs hosted by Taylor Swift. There were pictures of Louis, Liam and Niall partying with Taylor Swift, Calvin Harris and Ed Sheeran. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

I began to feel sick, wondering who he'd been with that had kept him away from partying with his friends. Was it this Joy Muggli girl?

The next pictures showed Harry boarding Jeff Azoff's private jet with Jeff and Glenne heading back to LA. The story that accompanied the pictures claimed that Harry hadn't been feeling well, and had wanted to avoid Taylor, so had flown straight back home after the awards.

The final picture was of Harry at the BBMAs collecting an award with the rest of the band, looking drop dead gorgeous. My eyes dropped to his chest and I realised with a pang that he was wearing my necklace again.

From: Sarah: Wonder why he flew straight home? Hmmm, could it be because he wanted to make a point of staying away from Taylor Swift???? xxx

To: Sarah: No idea xxx

I couldn't let myself think about why Harry had chosen to fly home. I reminded myself I was supposed to be trying to get over him and move on, not obsessing about everything he said or did.

The following evening I got further screenshots from Sarah. The first one was of an article online apparently confirming that the rumours about Harry and Joy Muggli were, in fact, true. This girl's mother had now given an interview stating they had met at Jeff Azoff's party the previous year through Joy's job, and that they also had a mutual friend in Dan Richards, One Direction's guitarist.

The next screenshot from Sarah showed another tweet from Harry's agent, stating this article was false too, and Harry was in talks with solicitors and would be taking legal action.

My eyes widened at this latest piece of news. The denial from his agent had come literally hours after the article had been published online, which implied to me that Harry had asked them to shut down the rumours immediately. I thought back to his words last week. I asked them to deny it publicly. I did that for you. For us.

Could this possibly be the same thing? Was he still trying to prove a point to me? Why bother? We'd had no contact since that heart-wrenching breakup conversation, and as far as I was concerned we were over and free to do as we pleased.

Why is he wearing your necklace every time he's pictured in public? My subconscious whispered.

Oh hello, I greeted it. You've been quiet lately.

My thoughts were interrupted by a text from Callie.

From: Callie: Are we still going to the Big Weekend on Saturday? Should we stay over so we can have a drink? xxx

To: Callie: Yeah, fine with me xxx

In truth the last thing I wanted to do was traipse up to Norwich and possibly bump into Nick Grimshaw again, but I felt he'd been kind enough to give me the tickets, so it would be rude not to go. Gary and Sarah were coming too, along with Callie's boyfriend James.

We left London at 7am on Saturday morning and made it to Norwich by 9am. The weather was bright, sunny and warm, which was a relief - standing in a field in the rain was not my idea of a good time. Grimmy had given us VIP passes which gave us backstage access, and Callie was particularly excited about seeing Jess Glynne. We got a good spot near the In New Music We Trust stage, where Jess Glynne would be playing, and Gary and James went off to get us some drinks while we sat down on our little overnight bags and got comfy.

I sent Grimmy a DM thanking him for the tickets and telling him where we were, and he responded to say he'd come and say hi if he got chance. James and Gary returned carrying numerous plastic cups containing various types of alcohol. We toasted each other and enjoyed the spring sunshine and the music. I had to admit, I felt so much better being out of the house in the fresh air with my friends. Gary and Sarah were cracking jokes and making me laugh, and Callie was watching me with a smile on her face like a proud parent.

At lunchtime I went with Gary to the food stalls to get hot dogs for everyone. While we were queueing up, he turned to me.

"It's good to see you smiling again Jess," he said.

"Yeah, sorry for being a misery lately," I said.

"It's ok, I know you've been through a tough time," Gary reasoned. "Have you spoken to Harry lately?"

"No, we've had no contact," I replied. "I think it's for the best. That way it's easier for us both to move on."

Gary nodded. "Um, Jess, I don't suppose... once you're feeling up to it... maybe you wanna go for a drink sometime?" Gary stumbled, his face going red.

I stared at him. I hadn't seen this coming. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I didn't want to embarrass him but I wasn't interested in him in that way, and as far I knew, he hadn't been interested in me either.

"Um, I'm kind of not really in that place right now," I muttered, staring at the ground.

"Oh no, I know," he said hastily. "I just mean maybe sometime down the line... maybe it might be fun or something..." he trailed off. Oh God this was awkward.

"Gary, you're a really great guy, but, um, I think it's best left as it is," I said in a rush. "I don't know when I'll be in that place again and I don't want to lead you on."

"Yeah, its fine, it's fine," he mumbled. "I think Ellie Goulding's on the main stage a bit later today if you wanna wander over there after lunch? I know you like her."

I was thankful of the change of subject and agreed hastily, not wanting Gary to think things would be awkward after our embarrassing exchange. We made our way back to the others with the hot dogs, and once we'd finished, Gary and I pushed our way through the crowd towards the main stage in time for Ellie Goulding's set.

We were right at the back but I didn't mind. I didn't fancy being crushed in between sweaty bodies. Not unless it was for One Direction. Damn, I'd been doing so well not thinking about Harry. I felt a lump in my throat, but gritted my teeth and swallowed it.

The crowd screamed when Ellie came on the stage and opened her set with Burn. I started to get into it and jigged along next to Gary, singing most of the words. She sounded amazing live, and everyone around us was either cheering or singing. She played five or six songs before thanking the crowd, and I turned to walk back to the others when I heard the beginning of Love Me Like You Do.

I froze to the spot, half turned away. My body broke out in goosebumps. "Where are you going?" Gary asked.

"I thought... hasn't she finished?" I choked.

"Duh - of course not. The big acts always do an encore," Gary teased. "She hasn't played Starry Eyed yet either. That'll be the last song."

I turned back and stared at the stage, tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't believe I hadn't even thought of this song. I was such an idiot. It was her most recent hit, of course she would play it. I lifted my hand to my mouth and bit down on my thumb nail as she sang the lyrics. Every word related to me and Harry. I closed my eyes and let the memory of that last night in LA play through my mind. Tears ran down my face as I pictured his face, heard his laugh, felt his touch. I vaguely heard Gary ask me if I was alright but I couldn't answer. All I could do was cry silently while the song played and remember what I had lost. What I had given up.

Gary put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned my head against him, trying to contain my sobs. I felt as though people were staring at me, and I didn't dare open my eyes for fear of making eye contact with anyone.

"Do you want to go back to the others?" Gary asked as the song came to a close, and I nodded. He turned around with me, his arm still around me, and we walked back towards the other stage, past the backstage door and round to where Callie, James and Sarah were standing.

"What happened?" Callie cried when she saw my face.

"Nothing, it's nothing," I sniffed, trying to get my sobs under control. "Just me being stupid."

Sarah threw Gary an exasperated look and he shrugged and held his arms up innocently.

"Grimmy came over about twenty minutes ago," Callie said. "He was asking where you were. He said we can go backstage for a bit if you want."

"I'm not in the mood," I muttered.

"Oh come on," Callie cajoled. "We'll be able to meet some of the other DJs - Alice Levine, Greg James..."

"Ok," I sighed, lacking the energy to argue. "Just let me sort out my face."

I wiped my smudged eye makeup and reapplied some foundation to hide my blotchy skin. I didn't want Grimmy reporting back to Harry that I'd let myself go.

We pushed our way through the crowd to the VIP area, showed our passes to security and walked into a large area where lots of people were milling about. We dumped our stuff in a corner and stood awkwardly in a huddle, feeling very out of place. Across the grass I could see Nick Grimshaw in a large group of people but it was too far away to make out individual faces without staring so I turned away.

Callie was standing pressed up against James, his arm around her shoulders, and they were both facing me as we chatted. Callie suddenly stopped talking and her face went white, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Oh my Christ," she breathed.

It was unlike Callie to lose her cool over a celebrity. I wondered who it could be.

"Don't turn round," she pleaded with me.

"Why not?" I asked, confused. "It's not like I'd make it obvious or anything."

"Ok, babe, promise you won't freak out."

"About what?" I laughed, and I chuckled at the memory of Callie sitting in my kitchen a couple of months ago and me saying the same thing to her. Her response had been a roll of the eyes and, "I don't freak out over Harry Styles. You do."

"Oh God, Jess. I promise I didn't know about this. Please don't get upset."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, although a sinking feeling was beginning to set in.

He's in LA, my subconscious reasoned. He's not standing behind you. He can't be.

Callie looked like she was about to cry. "Harry Styles is standing behind you, about twenty feet away. And.. and he's with a girl."

My heart dropped to my shoes and I felt the colour draining from my cheeks. "What?" I whispered hoarsely.

"I'm so sorry Jess," Callie said miserably.

I turned my head to look. I should have prepared myself.

Harry was standing with his back to us, his arm casually slung around the shoulders of a girl with long blonde hair whose face I couldn't see. His head was inclined towards hers; they seemed to be laughing at something, and he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I know I'd been the one to end it but I hadn't expected him to move on so quickly. Or to have it thrust in my face.

Before I could process this fully, Harry began to turn towards me. I panicked, knowing in about two seconds he would see me standing there looking heartbroken. I couldn't let that happen.

I turned to Gary who was mid-conversation with Sarah, both of them oblivious to the realisation that had just taken place. "Gary," I said desperately, "kiss me."

He stared at me for a second. "What?!" he said incredulously. It was taking too long. I stepped in front of him, closed my eyes and pressed my lips softly to his.

There was a stunned silence. I stayed where I was, kissing Gary for a second or two, before pulling away and stepping back. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Harry facing us and my stomach somersaulted.

I turned my head and our eyes met. I'll never forget the look of pain on his face as long as I live. We stared at each other for a second before a movement to the left of him forced my gaze to shift, and I watched, almost in slow motion, as the blonde girl he'd been cosying up to turned around to face us.

My blood ran cold as my eyes met hers for a second and the realisation of what I had just done hit me with the force of a freight train. Gazing back at me, from beside her brother, stood Gemma Styles.