I didn't call Harry that evening. I left work at 5pm on the dot, hurried to the tube and managed to squeeze myself onto the first crowded train that arrived. I avoided eye contact with everyone, and as soon as I got home I changed into my running gear, put some Avril Lavigne on my iPod (I needed some kick-ass girl power) and spent an hour and a half jogging through the streets and around Belsize Park. It was almost completely dark by the time I got home and I didn't bother switching on any lights in the flat except for the bathroom. I took a long shower, changed into my pyjamas and got straight into bed. I wasn't in the mood to eat, or watch tv, or do anything. I just wanted to forget the rest of the world even existed.

I woke up the next morning to 2 missed calls from Harry and 2 messages:

From: Harry Styles: Hey, I'm still up if you want to call me back x

From: Harry Styles: I guess you're not calling back then. I'm going to bed, I'll text you tomorrow x

I looked at the times - the first one I received at 8.01pm and the second one at 9.03pm. That would have been 3am and 4am in the Philippines. What the hell was he still doing up at that time?

I lay in bed for a while staring at the ceiling, singing One Thing in my head and thinking about the band. I opened up my Star Sightings app. This is how I used to stalk the One Direction boys, before I kissed Harry Styles and let him ruin my life. It basically showed where in the world the 1D boys were, along with a photo, usually snapped by a fan. I hadn't been on in a couple of weeks. There were a few pictures of Zayn arriving back in the UK a couple of days ago, and I spent a minute reading the comments. Most of the fans were speculating about whether or not he and Perrie were still together after the cheating rumours. I scrolled up, and found what I was looking for. There were two pictures of Harry from today (it was already 2pm in the Philippines), both showing him eating lunch with a girl I recognised as Lou Teasdale, the band's hair stylist. Maybe I was looking too hard, but I couldn't help thinking he looked fed up in the pictures. The captions agreed with me: "Harry Styles looking sad eating lunch in Manila" and "What's eating you, Harry?"

I sighed. Had I overreacted yesterday? Gary's words had actually made a lot of sense. Would Harry really be making all this effort if he wasn't a little bit interested? And did it really matter what the rest of the world thought?

I opened Twitter and went onto my own profile. I ignored all my mentions (mostly asking what was going on with me and Harry) and tapped New Tweet. I thought for a moment, then typed:

Get out, get out, get out of my head, and fall into my arms instead. I don't, I don't, don't know what it is, but you've got that One Thing

Yes, I know it was cheesy but the stupid song wouldn't get out of my head and it summed up exactly how I was feeling. And yes, I know I am a complete loser. I tapped the button to send the tweet. Within seconds, the mentions started.

@flower_rose: @jessie_braddy was that meant for @Harry_Styles ????????

@frankiesays1D: @jessie_braddy have you forgiven Harry? xx

@cloudsabove888: @jessie_braddy @Harry_Styles just make it official already

@saraht1997: @jessie_braddy are you with @Harry_Styles right now ?? Ask him to follow me!! I love you guys xxxxx

I had barely read the first few when my phone pinged with a text.

From: Harry Styles: Who are you tweeting about so early in the morning? x

Interesting. Either he happened to be on Twitter at that precise moment, or he had a notification set up for when I tweet.

To: Harry Styles: Maybe I'm just listening to One Direction x

From: Harry Styles: Are you? x

To: Harry Styles: No x

From: Harry Styles: What are you doing? x

To: Harry Styles: Texting you x

From: Harry Styles: Haha. What else? x

To: Harry Styles: Lying in bed but I should be getting up for work. You'll make me late x

From: Harry Styles: Wouldn't be the first time ;) x

My heart was already pounding, but when I read that my stomach flipped over a few times. I blushed as I remembered the last time Harry had made me almost late for work. I remembered him carrying me into my bedroom and throwing me on the bed...

To: Harry Styles: No, but you're not here to drive me in this time x

From: Harry Styles: If I was I'd make you pull a sickie ;) x

God he was such a flirt. But who was I kidding - I was loving it.

To: Harry Styles: Oh really? Why would I pull a sickie for you? x

From: Harry Styles: I'd make it worth your while x

To: Harry Styles: You reckon? x

From: Harry Styles: I know. You couldn't fake it that many times. You told me that yourself ;) x

Christ, now I was really blushing. And grinning like a lunatic.

To: Harry Styles: Stop making me blush x

From: Harry Styles: Aww you're cute when you get embarrassed x

To: Harry Styles: I said stop it x

I glanced at the clock. SHIT! It was 7.45, I had to leave for work in 15 minutes. I'd had a shower the night before so I quickly threw some clothes on and dashed into the bathroom to get ready. When I came back into the bedroom to get my phone I saw there was another message from Harry.

From: Harry Styles: Don't start what you can't finish x

I grabbed it and as I walked quickly to the tube station I typed a reply.

To: Harry Styles: I didn't start anything, you did! I'm on my way to work now, leave me alone x

I heard the next message come through as I walked down the steps to the platform.

From: Harry Styles: Have a great day xxx

My stomach did several somersaults at the 3 kisses, and I smiled as I boarded the train.

"Someone's in a better mood this morning," Gary remarked as I breezed into the office with minutes to spare. He got up and came and perched on the corner of my desk. "Did you hear him out?" he asked in a lower voice, so no one else could hear.

"Not exactly," I said. "I just decided to lighten up a bit. He's not my boyfriend, but I think I believe him when he says he likes me. So I'm just going to sit back and see what happens."

Gary nodded. "Good idea. I saw your tweet this morning. Was that aimed at him?"

I smiled. "Yeah. And he texted me straight away."

"Back of the net, Jess!"

I was grinning now. "We'll see. I'm going to let him do the chasing from now on."

"Sounds like he already is," Gary observed. "And if he's still interested after seeing your pathetic shrine to One Direction on your desk, he must be keen."

"Ha, ha," I said sarcastically. "Now leave me alone. You may not have any real work to do, but I do."

Gary laughed and slid off my desk. "You don't know the meaning of real work. I'm the brains behind this operation."

"Course you are," I muttered as I opened my laptop.

"Jess?" my boss Nicki called, sticking her head round her office door. "You got a minute?"

"Sure," I said, standing up and walking into her office.

"You know this team building conference tomorrow," Nicki began.

"Errrrr," I said, and then I remembered. We were all due on a 2-day team building course, tomorrow and Thursday. "Yes," I said.

"I was going to drive us in my car but it's due in for a service in the morning. Any chance we can go in yours?"

"Course," I said. "As long as everyone can get to Belsize Park tube station in the morning. I'll pick you up from there."

"Great," Nicki smiled.

When I went back to my desk I told Sarah about the new arrangements for the following day and asked if she fancied staying at my flat that night for a girly evening. She agreed, and we decided she would bring a takeaway with her and I would get some wine in.

I hadn't heard from Harry during the day, so I put a One Direction video mix on the TV when I got home (I have one saved on Sky Plus - don't judge) and stuck a bottle of white wine in the fridge. Sarah arrived just after 7pm with a small overnight bag and a Chinese banquet for 4. We lolled on the sofa and ate and drank ourselves into a stupor.

"I feel sick," Sarah moaned an hour later, taking a sip of wine and putting a prawn cracker in her mouth.

"Me too," I groaned, resting a hand on my stomach and then wincing and moving it.

"Oh I love this video," Sarah sighed as Story Of My Life began to play.

"I know," I nodded. "It makes me emotional."

"Do you reckon you'll meet the other boys?" she asked.

"I don't even know if I'll see Harry again," I said honestly.

"Really?" she said, propping herself up on one elbow and looking at me.

"I'm not taking anything for granted," I said. "It's not worth the potential heartache."

"If you do meet them, please please please will you get Louis to call me?" she begged.

I laughed. "If the opportunity ever comes up without me looking like a psycho, yes."

Sarah squealed and stamped her feet on the floor.

We headed to bed about 11pm. "Oh my God," Sarah said suddenly. "Harry Styles has slept in this bed hasn't he?!"

"Yeah, but I've washed the sheets since then," I said.

"If Harry Styles slept in my bed I would never wash the sheets ever again," Sarah declared.

I wrinkled my nose. "Gross. But yeah, I was tempted to preserve them forever," I admitted, and Sarah cackled appreciatively.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up before my alarm the following morning and immediately reached for my phone. I was surprised to discover I had 2 missed calls from Harry; 3.05am and 3.17am. I frowned and rubbed my eyes. He knew the time difference - why was he calling me in the middle of the night?

My heart started to pound as I opened the Daily Mail app, half afraid of what story I might find. But there was nothing of any importance. I even googled Harry Styles but there were no new articles. I slid out of bed leaving Sarah still asleep and went into the kitchen. I flicked the kettle on and sat down at the kitchen table, my heart pounding. I went back to the missed calls, took a deep breath and swiped across the screen. Calling Harry Styles....

Oh God, what the hell was I doing? I had never called him before. This was terrifying. It began to ring, and sounded like a dialtone from an American film. My heart was thudding. Who the hell decided this would be a good idea? What was I going to say if he answered? I could barely string a thought together right now, never mind speak coherently to Harry bloody Styles. It rang 5 times before a voice answered in the familiar drawl, "Hey, it's Harry..."

"Um, hi," I began, but was interrupted by:

"I can't come to the phone right now, but leave me a message and I'll call you back. Bye."

There was a click, and I breathed a sigh of relief and grinned. Then the beep sounded and I realised the message had started to record. I quickly pulled my phone away from my ear and ended the call. Great. Now Harry would probably have a massive sigh recorded on his voicemail and think I was a complete loser.

Well, he'd be right, I reminded myself.

I stared at my phone for a minute, pondering. I hadn't a clue why he had been calling me at such a random hour. I opened up my messages and typed:

To: Harry Styles: Hey, did you call me earlier? x

I made a cup of tea and then stuck my head back in my bedroom to wake Sarah, before jumping in the shower. We got ourselves ready, and as I grabbed my phone and keys, I noticed I had another missed call from Harry. I looked at the time - this one was from when I had been in the shower.

I didn't say anything to Sarah, but as I locked the door to my flat and we walked down the stairs I quickly swiped the screen to call him back. My heart thudded again as it did the some international ringtone, and eventually went to his voicemail again. This time I was ready for his voice, and enjoyed listening to it before it cut to the beep. I ended the call and went to my texts again.

To: Harry Styles: Sorry I keep missing you! I'm just about to get in the car with Sarah and some others so if you call again I can answer, but you'll be on speaker x

Sarah and I got in the car and I drove to Belsize Park tube station where Nicki, Gary and Abby, another girl from the office, were waiting. They got in the car, Nicki gave me the postcode of the venue, and we set off.

"Can we listen to One Direction?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah," I said, and she flicked through the songs on my iPod and started playing Where Do Broken Hearts Go. We all started singing the words, and Nicki and Abby were waving their arms and swaying in the back, much to Gary's amusement and discomfort. Just as the chorus burst forth the music cut off.

"Ohhh!" Sarah wailed, looking at the dashboard. Then she screamed. And I mean, actually screamed. She nearly caused me to crash the car.

"What the fuck?" Gary shouted from the back.

A ringtone sounded through the speakers, and Sarah pointed at the dashboard which now displayed Incoming Call - Harry Styles. Oh fuck. By now everyone in the car was screaming, even Gary (who secretly has a man-crush on Harry Styles).

"Shhhhh!!" I hissed. "Shut up, all of you! Don't scream!"

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God," Sarah whimpered, flapping her hands frantically.

"Shut up or I won't answer!" I yelled.

That shut them up. Silence descended in the car.

"Just keep quiet and be cool," I instructed them, and they all nodded seriously. I almost laughed out loud at myself. Who was I, telling them to keep quiet and be cool?! My hands were physically trembling. I pressed the button to accept the call and gripped the steering wheel tightly as we pulled up at some traffic lights.

"Hi," I said as I heard the call connect.

"Hey," he drawled. Everyone in the car started screaming again.

"Oh Jesus," I said. "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" I shouted, turning round to look in the back. "Man up, Gary!" I yelled.

I heard a brief chuckle coming through the speakers as the screams subsided a bit, then Harry said, "I'm on speaker, then?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," I said. "You OK?"

"Not bad," he said, but his voice sounded a bit flat. "Where are you going?"

"Company team building event in St Albans," I said. In my rearview mirror I could see Nicki, Abby and Gary silently going crazy with excitement. Next to me Sarah was stamping her feet quietly and waving her fists.

"Are you there all day?" he asked.

"Yes, and tomorrow," I told him.

"Can you call me on your lunch?" he said. His voice still sounded strangely flat.

"Yeah," I said. "Are you OK?" I couldn't keep the concern out of my voice.

There was a pause. "Yeah I'm alright," he said. He didn't sound it, but I couldn't push it with everyone else listening, so I just said, "OK."

"I'll speak to you later," he murmured.

"Bye," I said softly.

"Bye!" Sarah called.

"Bye everyone," Harry replied, causing the hysterical screaming to begin again.

"I'm really, really, really sorry about my friends!" I shouted over the noise.

"It's ok," he said. "Bye."

I ended the call and they all screamed even louder, shouting over each other.

"Harry Styles just called you!" "I just said bye to Harry Styles from One Direction and he said it back!" "I just heard Harry Styles' voice!" "That was amazing!" "Oh my God did that really just happen?!"

"How were you so calm Jess?!" Sarah squealed once everyone had lowered the sound level.

"I wasn't calm inside," I said. "But I don't think he'd have stuck around if I screamed at him like that everytime he spoke."

They all laughed. "He sounded a bit miserable," Gary remarked.

I raised my eyebrows at him in the mirror. "Sorry, who was screaming the loudest in the back there?" I said, pointedly.

But inside, I agreed with him. Harry had sounded strange. He was usually flirty when we talked, and although I didn't expect him to flirt with me on speakerphone when everyone was screaming, I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.

Maybe it was because he'd realised Gary was in the car? I'd shouted Gary's name at the start of the call; maybe Harry was pissed off? But that wouldn't explain why he'd called me at a ridiculous hour this morning.

Maybe he was losing interest in me and that's why he'd sounded distant? Still didn't explain the 3am phonecall though.

Maybe he's just having an off day? My rational self finally spoke up. But I was far too preoccupied with my worst-case scenarios to pay attention to rationality.

I watched the clock all morning and the second hand seemed to be moving as slow as the minute hand. While the host sent us into teams to do silly activities my thoughts were elsewhere as I wondered what Harry was going to say when I called him on my lunch.

We didn't get a break until 1pm, and I practically ran out of the venue, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I swiped Harry's name and lifted the phone to my ear, my heart beating so hard it felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. It rang 5 times and went to voicemail.

"For FUCK'S sake!" I exclaimed, cutting the call without listening to his voice. I quickly typed a text to him:

To: Harry Styles: Hey, I've got half an hour for lunch, so call me back? x

But he didn't, and I reluctantly went back in at 1.30 with the others. About 1.35 I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I shifted and pulled it half out, and surreptitiously glanced at the screen. Harry was calling. I gritted my teeth. There was no way I could take the call. I shoved it furiously back in my pocket and folded my arms huffily across my chest. The suspense was killing me. Nothing he could say could be worse than what I was imagining in my head, surely?

I swear the clock moved backwards that afternoon. Every minute seemed to take an hour. It got to 4.30 when the conference ended and I stood up and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I knew it would be pointless calling Harry now, as they would be on stage in Jakarta by now, but I called him anyway. Sure enough, it went to voicemail. I didn't bother texting him this time, but sloped off towards the car park with the others who had enjoyed their team building day.

We were just walking through the doors when I heard a cry from Sarah behind me. I turned round to see her standing still staring down at her phone, one hand over her mouth.

"You OK?" I said, stopping too.

She looked up at me, her hand still over her mouth and I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. She shook her head.

What's the matter?" I said, feeling really worried.

She looked down at her phone again, took a deep breath and read slowly in a shaky voice, "After five incredible years Zayn Malik has decided to leave One Direction..."