Two days, just two days and my life will be changed forever all because of one decision. One decision that will forever alter my future beyond the point of return. It's not a question of who I can live without...who I can turn from and watch them fade away from my life forever, only their memories left within my mind. Two days I will receive my diploma and I will be faced with two decisions, my choice made when I enter the awaiting arms of who I pick.

Nixon has placed himself against my family, now a choice for me to decide. My father and mother raised me, watching me grow up as they were with me every step of the way. My family includes parents and a sister. A sister who sees me as Lucifer's kin and someone she can no longer be around. Taylor hates me now, no longer wishing to associate herself with me as her life has spiraled down. I know of the alcohol she has stowed away in her room, the drugs that she takes at parties she sneaks out to. A week again I found her at one, Oliver having warned me she would be there. She was going lines off of another girl's breasts, taking in the drugs as I watched with disgust. I watched her get high, drowning herself in alcohol as well as I just stood by and watched. Why didn't I interfere? I've done that plenty of times before, I've been there countless times and warned her to quit, to stop her mess, and yet she calls me a bitch and does this to defy me. As for my parents, they no longer trust me nor look at me the same. Sure, I understand that they have pushed me away because of Nixon, my father knowing that I still go to him.

Father hides my secret from my mother, even though it means the chance of a massive fight. My mother can no longer be in the same room as me, to even look at me in the eyes to see who she has raised. Yet they love Taylor and know nothing of how she destroys her body and puts it on display for everyone to see. That same party she was a disgust to watch, allowing people to do shots off of her, allowing people just like Adam Kenner to see her as vulnerable and easy, someone to manipulate just to get laid. My parents believe Taylor is the angel and I am the demon. They have a right to think less of me due to Nixon, but months later they cannot go beyond conversation of the weather or grades. To my family I am a burden and someone they just want to graduate and move out to college and only see for Christmas vacation and summer.

But Nixon.

Looking to the left, I find him beside me, asleep as he lays his head on a pillow, hair a mess, and those tempting yet intimidating eyes shut. The moonlight cascades across his face, jawline on display as I simply take in the look expressed upon is face, no emotion as his eyes are shut gently and no devilish smirk or frown upon his lips.

Nixon is different. He is a different case compared to my family. For Nixon, he is a werewolf, someone who may have killed his wife. He tells a different sorry than Sybil Black did, explaining how Lillian killed herself yet there was no evidence. But there's no evidence that Nixon killed her, no reason to unless her cheating made him detest her enough to slit her neck and make himself innocent. Nixon expects me to be with his pack, to take up the duty of Luna, and hold off on a dream of university and attend somewhere closer. He offers me shelter, but from what? I've never had trouble before, not until I moved to this town. From the start Nixon was an intoxication, someone who made me cock my head and raise an eyebrow as I wanted to figure him out. He was an attraction and soon enough, we were wrapped up in sin together as I only want more of that sin. That sinful taste that makes me want more no matter how fucked up we are, how much we fight and scream, how he throws things, yells, and is rough. Is he worse than my family?

My family I will move away from...but Nixon, he is forever. Am I willing to spend the rest of my life with Nixon Maxwell?

I slide off of the bed, sliding on my shoes as I pull my hair back away from my face. Looking over my shoulder, I take one last glance at Nixon, knowing I need to go home for the night. Leaving the room, I head down the stairs, the walls bare as the mansion still appears like an isolated house. Nixon's house holds no homy features unless you count the one picture of a French bakery located in his kitchen. Would I be willing to live her, with him, with a werewolf? Opening the door, I head to my car, driving away back to the place I've come to know as an estranged house.

The living room light is still on, causing me to become nervous. As I hop out and head for the front door, I see through the window my father pacing by the fireplace, stressed as I take in a deep breath. Opening the door, I expect the worse as I know he will strike up a conversation. I have no doubt he knows where I went. He knows I was not with Emily, he knows who I was with.

"Sit."

I know this will not end well as I take my seat on the couch. Father stops pacing, facing me as I know it is hard for him to talk with me. "We're you with him?"

My fingers shake. "You know the answer already," I whisper, my voice shaky as I am stiff in my seat. "You don't need to doubt your belief."

Father shares his head. "I need a lapse in my belief. I need to doubt myself and my evidence over and over because I hope that you are no with him. I want to believe that you are not, but when you don't even bother to lie anymore, it shows how far we have come down this road." I hold my head high. "Do you even like him?"

Do I? This male marked me as his long ago. This male has been with me for many nights. This male I have confided in about my sister and he listens to me. This male lets me rant and take out my anger. But this male also does the same. Do I like him? I go back to him still even with my family on the line. Do I love him? That may be a stretch at the moment.

"Yes," I reply, knowing what I say is true. It is, for I do indeed enjoy Nixon's company. But is it enough to throw away my family? My family who is fucked up as well.

"Go," he whispers, motioning to my room as I nod. Getting to my feet, I head for the main hallway, looking down the hall to where Taylor's room is. No light streams through, but I know she is not sleeping. She's in the backyard smoking, I can smell it from my window. Heading for my room, I lock the door, heading for the window as I see her, Taylor, yet she is not alone. Who is that? Who is he?

I tilt my head, getting a better look as my throat runs dry. Opening the window, I jump through, landing on the soft grass as I see she doesn't even move. She's in the back of the yard, sheltered by the trees where our parents will never look for her, thinking she is fast asleep. Smoke comes from her mouth as she exhales, the scent strong as the male besides her has his arm around her, laughing with her as they are both in no state to be around the town nor anywhere public.

"Taylor," I hiss, approaching faster only for my breath to hitch. Gavin, the male that has warned me so much stands beside her, him fine as she simply pulls herself down a path of darkness. He is with her as he allows her to lose herself. "You bastard," I snap, his eyes meeting my own as a smirk pulls at his lips.

"Lily, my, you look lovely," he greets, holding Taylor closer as my sister looks to me. "Taylor here was just expressing how much she needs to move out."

"Why are you here?" She asks, eyebrows furrowing together as I snatch the joint from her fingers, throwing it on the ground as I put it out with my shoe. "Hey!"

"What are you doing with Gavin?" I ask her, looking to his eyes as he simply has a deadly look in his eyes. "Taylor?"

"You have no right to judge," she snaps. I know what she means, how she knows I am still with Nixon so I have no right to judge her on being around Gavin. "Did he have enough of you tonight? Were you not comfortable with butt stuf-

"What are you doing with my sister, Gavin?" I ask, cutting her off as I want a realistic answer.

"She called me here," he informs, kissing my sister's forehead as his tattooed hand is placed upon her cheek. "Runs in the family, doesn't it?" I raise an eyebrow. "To destroy family relationships. You fucking Nixon and her drinking away regrets and feelings. You two are quite a handful."

My hands turn to fists. "Leave," I hiss, grabbing Taylor's hand, only for her to pull away and move closer to Gavin. "I will make sure you are never around her again," I snap, looking to the male as he simply shakes his head.

"That easily? I'm not like you, Lily, I have a stubborn attitude and your sister seems to favor me over you."

"You know mom is wanting to have you move out before college, right?" Taylor points out, anger growing within my heart. "She doesn't even want to live in the same house as you." My lips form a firm line. "No doubt dad will support her."

I slap her, watching as her face jerks to the left, and before she can even hit me back, I'm gone, heading back to my room as I grab my keys. Opening my door, I storm down the hallway and back to the living room, father watching as his oldest daughter is consumed by anger. As the front door opens, I rush out of the house, tears about to be let loose as I drive off. Father watches as I drive away, speeding fast down the street and familiar roads until I part once again outside the massive and isolated house. I run up to the entrance, the door unlocked as I open it with ease, not expecting him to greet me as he must still be awake.

Yet he surprises me every time. I can never truly know him.

Nixon stands by the stairs, leaning against the railing as he watches me. He watches as I break apart, falling to my feet as I cover my sobs, tears streaming down my face. He just watches as I fall apart, kneeing that I need the solitude as I scream, wanting to throw something, to punch someone. He knows not to bother me as I chuck my keys across the house, a vase crashing onto the floor as I lean against the wall, shaking my head. Looking up to him, I meet those dark eyes, how he inspects my state.

No, this is not my choice. I have not made up my mind yet, but tonight I need to stay here, I need to be with him and forget the existence of the rest of the world as I run from those problems. What was Gavin's end game. What does he want. He tells me to uncover secrets yet intrudes on my family and messes with Taylor's mind. Was he playing me, trying to make me think that Nixon killed his wife? Was Gavin wanting me to hate my family and then hate Nixon. Did he want me to have my life crumble around me? Why? What does he have against me.

Nixon walks forward, the moonlight seeming to follow him as he is cloaked in it like some god. Like an angel without its wings as it has fallen. He is a fallen angel, my own fallen angel as we both have lives beyond repair. Maybe we are fit for one another after all, how we seem to find confinement in the other.

Getting to my feet, I welcome his arms, pulling me into his warmth as I wrap my arms tightly around his frame, holding him closer than possible as I do not want to lose him. Tonight I need him, but this does not mean he is my choice.

"Are you okay?" He asks, at least trying to comfort me as I shake my head. Holding him closer, I lift my head, pushing myself up onto my toes as I meet his lips, my eyes softly closing as I need this. I need him to comfort me and he understands. He understands that thirst we have for the other.

My hands pull him closer as they wrap around his neck, pulling him with me to the stairs. He picks me up, legs around his waist as I want to forget my family. Expecting him to take a right, he takes a left. There are only bedrooms and his office down this was, rooms he has never taken me into except for me to have broken into that office. My back meets the cold wall as my top is forgotten in the process, lips leaving mine and going to my mark as I throw my head back, wanting more as he continues to walk. As my bare back meets a cold door, it swings open, the room I have only broken into before us.

He is taking me into his office. It is a sign of deep trust. This is a sign of trust that I cannot comprehend. I'm laid upon the desk, his lips back upon my own as the moonlight is gone now, the darkness consuming us as I hold him close.

Could I see a world without Nixon?

<><>

Today. Maybe I should have wished for more time, maybe I should of stayed up every night and thought through the decision I will be faced with in a matter of minutes. Could I ever forgive myself for the choice I am to make. Can I really make this type of decision when the future is a haze. Both choices come with their demons. It's now a matter of which choice can I live without for the rest of my life and not feel too much guilt. Guilt is included for whichever choice I make, an innate quality to the decision before me.

As I follow the crowd out of the auditorium, my throat becomes dry and I meet those eyes. His tattooed hand waves to me, a smirk plastered across his face as the events of the past two nights flood my mind. Two nights ago I discovered Gavin with Taylor, offering her demons for her future, his arm around her as she giggled and was high. Last night my parents were gone for most of the evening, I came home early from Nixon's to only hear them in her bedroom, him fucking her brains out as I could not handle it. I could not handle the reality as she scream his name over and over, enjoying every moment, and when I thought he had left and stormed into her room, she was smoking as he was taking drugs off of her exposed breasts. I screamed at him, yelling for him to leave as Taylor shouted at me. I had grabbed a knife, threatening him as Taylor threw a picture frame at me, telling me to leave her alone and go back to Nixon. Gavin just watched, a smirk upon his face as he saw our family crumble into an abyss of no return.

When my parents came home, Gavin was gone..and so was Taylor, the two leaving in his car as I was left to clean up an sign of the fight. I had cut my hand picking up the glass, pulling the shards out of my thumb as I cried, as I cried wishing thing could have turned out differently. What does Gavin want? What is he trying to accomplish by having my sister at his disposal? He tried to 'help' me, make me think Nixon had killed Lillian. Is he trying to pin me against the only two options I can make?

Gavin watches me as I leave the ceremony, the purple robes covering my dress becoming an itch. His gaze follows me the entire time and I know Taylor is watching him as she stands beside my parents. What will happen to her when she is my age? If I chose Nixon, I will never know, and if I pick my parents, I will be burdened with the truth. Do I wish to know that truth? Can I face that truth or would I rather live trying to forget these memories and create new ones?

The crowd is now gathered in the halls, families greeting their new grads as I stand frozen in the doorway of the main hall. I am about to make a decision that will forever change my life that has just begun. For now I look for where these choices stand, trying to pinpoint the two options as I scan the crowd. My hands holding my diploma, my fingers grow weak and my legs shake slightly as the heels cause an issue for my nerves. Looking once more, I spot the blond hair of my mother, her position next to my father as Taylor is beside them. They watch me, looking to me as they wonder why I am not walking to them. They are dressed nicely for the event, but no happy emotions are held on their faces, rather sadness and curiosity as I remain frozen in my spot as people push past me. Then I spot him, opposite of them, five feet apart, hands in his pockets as a lump forms in my throat. He watches me closely, his dark blue eyes hooded as his lips are lightly pulled at the corners.

My parents spot him, their posture tense as they understand what is about to happen. They know that he is here and that I am about to pick one of the two. They understand what is going down, how I will chose them or a man they despise and our lives will never be the same.

How do I make this decision?

Looking past them, I spot Gavin, giving me a thumbs up as his eyes meet mine. I take in a deep breath, tears threatening to release as I try and concentrate on my choice. Taylor looks at me with anger, her hands in fists as I know that she will never forgive me no matter what happens. Father knew I was still seeing Nixon, the last night that I ran out...he knew where I was headed and did not say a word the next morning. That night Nixon trusted me as he took me into his office, offering me a way to let out all of the anger as I know that together, with all the emotions we have built up within us, that we can balance the other out. Perhaps we can find happiness with that.

Nixon has taken care of me in the end, he has let me let loose of my anger as I throw things and cry. He has held me in his arms and comforted me until my sons are gone. He has made me feel welcomed at his home, he has made me feel as if his home is mine as well, rather than my true home feeling like unfamiliar territory. I broke rules to see him, I ended friendships to be with him. But could I leave my family for him? Could I throw all of that away?

Taking in another deep breath, I know I must make a decision.

"Lily," my father calls, taking me from my thoughts as I can tell he is desperate for me to go to them. Father watches me as I still remain frozen. He removes his arm from around my mother, taking a step forward towards me, only for Nixon to do the same and my eyes widen. Nixon will make sure I make this choice on my own. He wants a fair fight and a fair resolution. Father walks fast to me and in return, Nixon follows, nearing faster than ever as its too overwhelming.

I take a step back. I do not want this to happen, I do not want them to approach and make it more overwhelming than it is already.

The two stop as I back up again, knowing not to make me any more afraid. Gavin still stands, watching the show as he crossed his arms. What do I do? Who do I need?

My father takes one step forward, but this time, Nixon does not. Most would see this as Nixon giving up, but this is Nixon being confident. He does not take a step forward because he believes he does not need to for my decision to be made. As my father approaches, I lock eyes with Nixon, my mind rushing through thousands of questions over my decision. "Lily? Lily, come home," my dad pleads, looking at me, but I do not look to him. A tear escapes, running down my cheek as I quickly wipe it away. "Please."

I take a step forward. "I love you," I whisper, moving past my father as he shakes his head. My last words to my father as we both know I have made my mind. I have told my father what every father needs to hear from his child, but not like this. Not like this setting where I leave him for a man he detests.

Could I see a world without Nixon by my side?

I've made my choice, walking into his open arms as I wrap my own around him. Classmates watch as they see the rumors of an older man to be true. The school always gossiped about my affair with someone older and now they are proven correct as a kiss is placed upon my temple and we walk hand in hand outside of the building. With my back to my family, I have decided to forget them, knowing I will never return for them as Nixon wraps an arm around my waist and holds me close as his car awaits us. I've made a choice that I may forever regret or forever be thankful for.

"Lily?" Nixon asks as we sit in his car, the Italian leather surrounding us as I gaze at the road ahead. I nod, motioning for him to continue as the tears begin to roll down my cheek. My chin is taken lightly, my head moved to look at him as his fingers wipe away the tears. His eyes search my own, taking in every detail as they have countless nights, an emotion of sadness flashing though his eyes. "How do you feel about leaving? Just getting away for a couple of days or a week, just to relax?" He asks softly, resting his forehead against my own as my hands take his, a silent sob leaving my mouth.

I clear my throat. "I'd like that," I whisper softly, my voice weak as Nixon takes one of my hands, kissing the back of it as he pulls away, hands on the wheel. Nixon looks to the road ahead as he steps on the gas, the school rolling away and soon enough, so does the town as Nixon explains our bags have been packed ahead of time and loaded onto his jet. He knew I would pick him, he knew from the moment he told me the choices I would make. It was a fair game, the choices he gave were fair, but in all, I think I also knew that I would chose him in the end.

My fingers unzip the robe, pushing it off as my dress is all that covers me, the itch of the robe gone as it symbolizes my family. My robe was an itch just like my family, and once gone, so was the itch. The dress I picked today was navy, already a symbol of who I would chose before I even truly made my decision. Looking out the window, my fingers brush the teardrop diamond necklace around my neck, a present from Nixon months ago. Putting it on this morning made me somehow feel relieved as I looked at myself in the mirror.

Nixon speeds down the highway, one o his hands taking my own as he rests our interlocked hands on his lap. One last year falls down my face, my mind flashing to Taylor as I know that in the end, she will either live in hell, or she will somehow change, but that is up to her. She will soon learn that I will no longer cover for her and she will one day be found out.

Looking to Nixon, I know I have picked the lesser of the two evils. I have picked what I wanted and here I am, running away with him for an escape that is much needed. Closing my eyes, I lean my head back as I know that the question is no longer if I could see my world without Nixon. No. It's different now.

Can I be happy with Nixon?

To that...to that I have yet to discover.