"She is beautiful, Alpha," the doctor informs, handing me my daughter as I feel exhausted, motherhood draining me as my child squirms in my arms, crying as I try and calm her down from getting a shot. "Feels like she was just born yesterday." Leala begins to calm down, her dark blue eyes looking up at me as she feels relaxed in her mother's arms. My midnight black locks fall into my face, her tiny hands grabbing at them as a soft smile graces my face, eyes beginning to water as I know Nixon would never stop holding her, unable to get enough of our daughter.

"It is hard to believe it has been three months already," I reply, pushing my hair back over my shoulders as I thank the doctor for the checkup. "The pack absolutely adores her, she will make a great Alpha."

Doctor Hayles smiles, offering me some tips on getting her to sleep through the night. "She has strong parents to lookup to, the way her father and you led this pack, she will always be destined for greatness." My heart feels a tug as I remember the smile of Nixon, his eyes, how they lit up the moment that I told him we were to be parents. Everyday I wish I had more time with him, to hold him, to tell him how much I love him, and to share our daughter together. "I will see you both in two weeks for our next checkup."

Thanking the doctor, he leaves the house, happy to do a home visit. A few of my warriors roam the land of my house that Nixon built for us, afraid still that Zion may send men after me. Packs have still kept their treaties with Crimson Lock, not wishing to turn a blind eye to us as they know we are still a force to be reckoned with. Led by a human and female Alpha, Crimson Lock still prospers as no one has threatened us. Elijah is still in the palace, helping out Laraxis as I know they are trying to chance the make up of the government, to alter traditions, and make new treaties with vampires and the elves who has disappeared since the death of Sybil. Holding Leala up, I brush some of her stray brunette hairs from her face, smiling as I sing to my daughter. Just as I am about to head up the stairs, the doorbell rings.

Cradling my daughter in my arms, I head to the main door, wondering what visitor it could be. The moment I see him, my skin pales and I want to shout at him for coming onto my land. "Alpha Maxwell, please open the door," Terrance begins, nervous as something tells me he is not here to warn me about my actions. Unlocking the door, I pull it open, shielding Leala from the sunlight as she begins to yawn, ready to nap. "I am here on official business, Alpha, please hear me out, I know I am the last person you wish to see from this pack."

"What is it?" I ask, wondering if he is going to warn me about making deals with Elijah.

Taking out his phone, Elijah shows to me a picture of a female, a woman with beautiful blond curls which reach her shoulder, an oval face, tan complexion, and bright green eyes. "I met my mate three weeks ago, I wanted to wait to do this, but I really cannot."

"Wait, to do what?" I ask, unable to understand what Terrance is wanting me to do.

"She is from a neighboring pack, about fifty miles east. The pack is known as Silver Crescent, a small pick which holds a treaty with Crimson Lock. Their Alpha has offered me the title of Head Warrior there and a life to be built with my mate there. I need to be made a rogue by you to accept Silver Crescent as my pack."  Terrance pulls back the picture of his mate, smiling as he takes a quick look at the picture. "Her name is Quinn. She is the Beta's daughter. She is my whole world now."

"So you are forever leaving Crimson Lock?" I confirm. I thought I would be more happy than feeling a little lost. Losing Terrance means less bickering about my life choices, but I like to think he always helped me double check all of my actions.

"I am," Terrance confirms, nodding his head as I am shocked by the news. "Quinn is waiting for me on the edge of Crimson Lock territory, I have said goodbye to everyone already, I just need to be made a rogue." I saw Nixon declare a woman a rogue once, just simple stating the words as it happened. I once was attracted to Terrance, Nixon hating the idea of him as he told me to never see him again.

"I thought you were here to bicker," I confess, Terrance shaking his head as he looks to my daughter who I cradle in my arms. "Do you suddenly have nothing against the way I live my life?"

"I have plenty to say, Alpha, but I would rather see my mate right now. If you want my honest opinion on what you are doing, just ask."

I want to ask, but I understand what it is like to have someone that you love waiting for you, the feeling of excitement when you see the person, how you can barely contain yourself. "I, Alpha Lily Maxwell, declare you a rogue," I state, the words feeling powerful as Terrance smiles, happy to leave this pack, his past home, behind and begin a new one with his mate. That is what I did, with more drama though, but I know he will never regret it. Just as Terrance places his hands in his pockets and is to be on his way, I call out his name. The birds fly by as I know I will forever regret what I am to ask him. "What is your honest opinion on the way I am living my life, the goals that I have set?"

Terrance simply looks to the sky, emerald eyes shining in the sky as I know his reply will haunt me. "I believe that when everything is done, whether you accomplish what you desire or not, you will look about on your decisions and find that you not only destroyed your relationships with everyone in your life, but you will make yourself miserable knowing that the hole the absence of Nixon in your life can never be filled with any amount of revenge. You will one day look back at your choices and regret every single one, for they will tear your daughter away from you, your family, pack, and you will no longer recognize the girl you once were."

With those words, Terrance leaves me in silence, Leala stirring as I know she needs her nap. Every step I take up the stairs only causes me to rewind and play Terrance's words in my mind, how he told me my life would fall apart. As I set Leala down in the crib, hoping she sleeps enough as I want to get work done, to look over treaties and meetings to happen by next week with other pack Alphas. Sitting down in the home office, I wonder what Nixon would have painted the walls, my choice of light gray walls nothing like what I would expect him to select. Bookshelves are on either side of the black marble fireplace, a black fur rug before the fireplace as a set of white leather chairs are placed before it for when I relax. My dark desk faces the fireplace, windows on either side of me as I lounge back in the desk chair, pulling out my pen and some paper. I open up the news on my laptop, werewolf news on display as I read about Laraxis, of his use of a Priestess to come to the palace to help him redesign the entire government setup. Laraxis thinks that it was his decision to change the structure of the government, Elijah and I presenting it that way, but it really gives more control to Alphas, to claim more land, go to war with packs, and perhaps one day take the title of King away from royals and allow common blood Alphas to take the title.

Looking to the picture I have set on my desk, my eyes water as I remember the moment I agreed to those vows. Nixon and I hold hands before an alter, smiling as we look unstoppable. Rubbing my eyes, I think of the moment he informed me what he wanted to name our daughter, how he said her name was the selling moment, the name sounding beautiful on his tongue. He would have made a great father.

Leala cries, already I know she is hungry. Getting up from my desk, I head back over down the hall and into her room to see her fussing around in the crib. Picking my daughter up gently, I kiss her cheek, grabbing a bib as I sit down in the rocker pulling down my shirt. As I do, a small rash on the side of my breast catches my eye. Perhaps due to my new bra? Red and blotches, it seems like dry skin as well, my eyes rolling as I know to apply lotion after Leala is done.

After a good few minutes, I have Leala back in bed and I am back to my office, reading the news as I know Elijah expects to see me at the palace next month when Laraxis informs the public of the reborn ties between Crimson Lock and the Kingdom. We are still a rogue pack, and the kingdom recognized that, but now they will also offer us a documented form of peace as I have planned with Laraxis since day one.

With the sudden ringing of my phone, I am quick to answer, knowing it is Elijah. "Tell me something other than what the Senate is deciding on this week," I greet, leaning back in my chair as I look back to the picture of Nixon and me on our wedding day.

"Then you will love it when I inform to you that Zion has gone off the face of the earth. It has been a year since he married Sybil and he just disappeared from his property in New Hampshire. No one knows where he went really." I feel my blood boil. I need to know where he is at all times, to know where the man who killed my husband is.

"How? How did we lose him?" I snap, seeing red as I throw my laptop across the room.I need to know where Zion is. I need to know where he is, what men to have trailing him everyday. What day I strike, the day I finally put to rest my revenge, I need to know where he is. "We have had eyes on him since day one, Elijah!" I snap, feeling lost as I do not know where to  start now.

"Do not worry, Lily, we cannot lose him forever. He has duties even after he has resigned as king. He has to still show up for important events." Silence follows. "I think he may be in Europe somewhere. There was a letter left at his house coming from Norway."

"I am a new mother, Elijah, I cannot just pack up and go to Norway!"

"Which is why I have hired two trackers to go and find him." Two are not enough. I need at least a dozen in that county. If he is in Norway then he cannot stay long, vampires hold power there and they do not allow werewolves there for longer than a month by law."

"Find him," I order, ending the call by throwing my phone across the room. As the screen shatters against the fireplace, Leala beings to cry, my day getting worse as Terrance's words echo in my mind. As find myself once again holding my daughter, singing her back to sleep, I remember the day Zion broke into this home and tried to not only kill me, but my daughter as well. In return for trying to kill a wife and future child, he lost a wife and future child. We lost the opposite of what each other had, and while it my mean that our demons are meant to dance, I would rather watch his name, legacy, and soul vanish all to vanish at the power of my hand. As I place my daughter back to bed, I brush the loose hair out of her face. "I will kill him and leave you a pack to lead into a world where an Alpha the child of a human and werewolf, can become King or Queen."

Terrance is right, I may loose more of myself in my plot for revenge than I ever intended to.

<><>

"Unlike you, I have actually been getting work done," Elijah continues to argue as he stands beside the fireplace, the glass of wine held firm in his hand as I lean back in my chair, understanding that a storm shall soon be released. "You have been away for too long, Lily, for four months in the palace goes much faster than four months in this rogue pack of yours. Life continues outside these walls you have built up around your daughter and yourself."

"It is my duty as a mother," I snap back, furious as Elijah would dare try and demand me away from my beautiful daughter.

"A duty that I am sure you are more than happy to abandon when things go South and you remember all Zion put you through."

Unlike in chess, when you are in checkmate, life continues. I have been placed in a tight spot between the duty I have as a mother to my daughter and my duty to this pack and my late husband to let the world know the truth of Zion and for my hands to drive the knife into his chest as I am the last thing he sees. "Laraxis has been King for not even a year yet, there is rumor-

"Elijah, everything will come together in time. I have a daughter now, a daughter who deserves my upmost attention."

Laughter fills the air, a sound which sends a shiver down my spine as I wonder what I have said could prompt such a laugh from Elijah. "What happened to the young woman who told me she would do anything to bring down Zion?"

"She is still here," I reply, getting to my feet, annoyed at Elijah as he simple wanders over to my bookshelf, fingers tracing the books as he lands on a specific one.

"Starting to collect dust too," he comments. "It is impressive how Lillian did all of that to Nixon and Zion, turning them into these little puppets of her sick game. She played politics in the palace well, Sybil unable to match her cleverness. Sybil was a sweet and pure soul, corrupted Zion without even realizing it, for she saw him as an angel, rather than the monster his own book will show him to be. Lillian did wonders in the palace walls, helping to persuade Alphas to pass laws kingdom-wide to help give Zion less power, to give it back to the people. Lillian was a wave so many did not realize would wipe everyone out. She was playing Zion as he fell head over heels for her while your husband was in the picture." Carrying the book over to me, Elijah drops the heavy black book on my desk. "Lillian's downfall was her pride and how eager she was to feel power. She married Nixon because they were mates and because he offered more adventure than Zion ever could have, but as she saw she was unable to do much within Crimson Lock, she went back to Zion, not careful to cover her tracks. Nixon killed her, I know you are aware of this, and it was premeditated as that little book right here will attest. Lillian was the downfall of the two most powerful men of the past two decades. Sybil was a sign of hope for Zion, you were the sign of hope for Nixon, but Zion lost his hope and you lost the man you were in love with."

"I know Nixon's demons are contained in this book, Elijah, he told me, you confirmed it, and I do not want to read about the man Lillian turned Nixon into. He changed, he really did."

"No one can ever put the murder of their wife past them, even if they did it. No sane woman can ever forget that her dead husband once murdered his wife before you came along, no one can ever forget that, look past that, and you are living up in your little high tower to think you can forget that."

"Fuck off," I snap, pushing the book off my desk as the temptation grows heavy.

"I know what you were once before you met Nixon, Lily, for Sybil was the same way. You were both looking for an escape from the life you had, but you never expected the escape which fate paired you with. Sybil was a rogue and barely able to find a home once her mate rejected her, and when Zion came around, he took away the innocence she had, he made her see him as a precious male who could never hurt a fly. He murdered her mate right in front of her, he killed a rogue right before her eyes, hell, she even ran away to get answers and came right to you. Zion may not have pulled the trigger to end her life, but he may as well have pulled the trigger. You were a girl with a dream, a family who did not understand and expected strict rules to be followed, and when you wanted an escape, you ran into Nixon of all people. Terrance was a perfect match for that short escape you chased after, yet lust got in the way and so did an Alpha who had forgotten what it was like to be loved. Look what he turned you into, he killed a man before you, his pack feared him, and he did so many things. He attacked your sister's rapist and ev-

"How do you know that?"

"What?"

"That he attacked the man who raped my sister?"

Elijah allows a smirk to tug at the corners of his lips. Reaching down, he picks back up the book. "Lillian was a woman who made routines be drilled into her daily life, she was focused on perfection. She taught Nixon the routine of writing in this book." Placing the black book on my desk, he opens it up a third of the way to the end. "He wrote what he did even a year ago, Lily, for Lillian was a work of art even while dead she still had a hold over the two of them."

"Get out of my house, Elijah."

"You need my help, Lily. Laraxis will not get what you want done. We told him to reform the government, to push for the Old Order to be reapplied in society, for the power to shift in the world. Laraxis is not a great negotiator and after Zion left the throne and Sybil is dead, not to mention your pack is still powerful and rogue now, the other Alphas will most likely change things in a different direction, they will never give us what we want."

Taking in a deep breath, I glance down to the journal of Nixon's, his navy ink words in cursive as he gives the date of each occurrence. "We have worked on this plan for what seems like ages."

"And now it is time to take our plans in a different step."

"What are you thinking of?" I ask, my voice soft as half of me doesn't want to know at all.

"Read the last page of the year 2015, the very last sentence. Nixon had it figured out all along what should happen. He was so bent on revenge that he did not realize that the plan he thought of in his head would one day be put into action."

With that, Elijah leaves the room and I can hear him as the front door shuts behind him. Instantly, a crying erupts on the baby monitor as I know my daughter has woken up from her short nap. Headed upstairs, I find her wailing in her crib, the room Nixon build for her reminding me of the day he showed me this room and my heart filled with happiness. Bullet holes fill my memory next, how Zion allowed his men shoot up the first floor as he took the chandelier down and watched as the glass landed into my flesh, my blood soaking the floor. Picking my daughter, I carry her down the stairs, singing her a quite song as she begins to calm down. Swaying back and forth, we enter my office, her cries going silent as she begins to fall asleep again. Taking a seat in my chair, I look to the book opened up on my desk, tempting me as I wonder if Nixon's demons are really something I wish to read. Looking to our daughter, his laughter fills my head, those eyes crossing my mind as I feel a tug at my heart.

Reaching forward, I pull the book closer, picking it up as I lean back in my chair, holding my daughter securely as my eyes scan the page, his words detailing how he kidnapped my sister's rapist, how he broke both of his legs first, placing him in the back of his car as they drove off to a forest, Nixon's continuing to detail the quick pain he put the boy through. It makes me sick to read, my eyes peeling away as I no longer wish to read the details. The last page of the year 2015....would I dare go searching for it? Elijah told me it explains our plan, and I know Elijah only told me to go looking for it just to get me to read the rest of this diary.

I find myself turning the pages back, page after page of navy ink as I see dates on the top right corner. As 2015 comes into view, I take in a shaky breath, wondering what to expect as Nixon starts off with explaining how Lillian was in his dreams last night, laughing as she handed him a gun with a single silver bullet, the two of them playing roulette. The dream stopped when she opened her mouth and shot the back of her head practically off. His details make me feel sick to my stomach, how he explains the way Lillian haunted his dreams and made him think she had never actually really died. The last paragraph makes me understand what Elijah was talking of, how Nixon gave us leverage.

Everyone has forgotten the curse which Zion's ancestors placed upon a coven of witches. The curse was simple for the witches to understand the pain and suffering they would endure as they used magic and the life which would follow in the afterlife full of endless pain and torture. Zion's family, anyone with their blood, can break the curse, and if he has one little slip up, I doubt they would be hard to convince to help wage a war against the kingdom. Witches are powerful and underestimated by us werewolves, but in Europe, the Eastern Werewolf Kingdom knows not to mess with the witches who would be willing to end their life in gruesome pain if that meant their coven endure no more torture and to be able to use their magic freely.

The small entry goes on to detail their location in Europe, the witch coven's leader, and a way to show these witches that we are worth their power. The last sentence sends a dark feeling running through my soul, my heart almost dropping to my feet as I know exactly what Elijah intends to do.

It is simple what must be done, how to show both Zion, every Alpha, and anyone who seeks the throne how easily someone may be consumed with greed that they do not see a bigger picture. We burn it down, the entire palace, leaving nothing behind but the ashes and ruins as werewolves will always remember the burning and remind themselves that Alpha Kings and royals are scum who have lived in paradise for too long.

Elijah wishes to use the witches, to bring together both my pack and those witches to burn down the palace and watch as the age of Kings will come to an end. But will I run into battle with them and fight for what Nixon wanted, or will I stay with the child who is asleep in my arms at the moment? Terrance warned me what would happened, how he believed I would never do what I must for my daughter because of the rage present in my heart.

Looking up from the journal, my eyes begin to water as I try and relax, trying to calm myself down as I think what must be done. As my eyes pull away from the distance and back to the book, curiosity gets the best of me as I flip to the last page in the book.

My dearest Lily, I hope you never read this journal which will only scar an image of  the man I was into your soul and memory. Remember me for who I was to you in the end, the loving man I had become because you showed me kindness and love which not even Lillian could have ever given me. As I write this, you are asleep beside me sleeping peacefully as our child grows within you. You have no idea how much I love you and wish I will be there when our child is born. I know this may seem like a decision based off of the hate I feel for Zion because of what happened with Lillian. If you are to ever read this, know that Lillian was not the reason why I decided to leave for the palace. The palace is a building built off of murder and lies, every scandal within those walls only filled with twists of the truth. Zion once told me the first time that we met that he did not respect me as an Alpha because I ran a pack which did not respect me, for it was true, my father had just died and the pack did not trust me yet. Zion had guards escort me out the senate chambers because he did not see me fit enough to lead the kingdom and pass rules to better the public. I met Lillian a few years later and I did not know that she was trying to help give more power to the King than the people, for she spent the evening with me simply chatting about tradition and the role of warriors in a pack. She was both my mate and Zion's mate, but she married me in a ceremony filled with anger for the night before our wedding, she had gotten so drunk that she called me Zion rather than my own name. Lillian aborted our children as I have already told you, she threatened my pack members without my knowing to try and give me more power in fear, and she was having an affair. Yet I did not return to that palace to seek justice for all she did and Zion did in the life before you came along.

I leave tonight because of what Zion has done to you. He broke into our house, he destroyed the world we had built ourselves, and almost killed you and our child. I was informed by other Alphas that Zion had even gloated about the attack back in the palace and was wishing that he had been successful in ending my happiness. I know that as long as Zion lives, he will never put Lillian behind him and will try and destroy the life of love you have provided for our family. I wish I could say I know I will return to you and be there to see our daughter, but everyone knows the old saying that the palace pulls everyone in and only lets the most evil return. If I kill Zion, you will be safe within Crimson Lock, for I have Terrance looking out for you. Be kind to him, show him the kindness you showed me, for he may become your greatest friend and someone to put your trust in. If I do not kill Zion, I will be dead and Crimson Lock will still protect you. You will become a strong Alpha who brings around a new era of the werewolf empire. Do not be afraid to show the world the power you hold, the justice that must be done, and the importance of  loyalty in a world gone black. But most of all, do what is always best for our daughter, always offer her a home to come home to, a mother to love, and a future filled with love, hope, and kindness. I love you so much and as you sleep beside me, I cannot help but recall the first day I say you, how beautiful you were, and how I felt reborn when you spoke to me. I love you the most so be safe and always make sure Leala has a home filled with the love you showed me to return home to at the end of everyday.

-Nixon