NIRUPAMA

(Some Secrets May Better Remain Secrets Forever)

'I cannot bear this', 'I want to pluck my eyes out' only these two sentences were the clues which the late girl Nirupama left in writing one on a wall and one in a book quite unintentionally and involuntarily to know about the reason for her committing suicide. Her father Ranganath, detective Smaran and his niece Menaka along with Nirupama's friend Sukanya pretty well understood that Nirupama did not want the said secret to be known to anyone else. But since her father Ranganath hell bent upon knowing about the said secret, detective Smaran and his niece Menaka ruthlessly investigated the matter only to unearth the said ghastly, shocking and astounding secret which the dead girl terribly wished to keep only with her in her grave forever.

x x x x x

"But now you people want to make it public by somehow or other. Cannot you stop that?"

"Your dad wants to know about it."

"No. Especially I don't want he knows about it." Nirupama said with force. She once again looked into the eyes of Sukanya. "You must stop it. You are my good friend."

"No. I cannot. Your dad is hell bent to know about it." Sukanya said.

Suddenly Nirupama's face became red with anger. "You are not my friend. You are my enemy. You also want to know about that, don't you?"

"No, it is not true. I am not interested in knowing about it at all."

"No. You are lying. You want to know about my dirty secret. I do kill you now and take with me." Then Nirupama suddenly pounced on Sukanya and seized her neck. The next moment she started squeezing it.

"Please....Don't kill me. I.....am....don't......I can't" Sukanya was choking.

Then she felt light slaps on her cheeks and found her mother in her room. It was middle of the night.

"What is happening? Are you dreaming?"

"Yes mom. Very frightful dream." Sukanya sat on the bed.

"Not only on this day. Every day in the middle of the night you have been disturbing yourself. You are talking in your sleep."

"Is it is so? I don't know at all."

"Every day it is like this. Hearing your sounds, I have been coming into your room" Her mom paused for a moment and then asked. "It is that Nirupama again."

"Yes, of course mom." looking into the eyes of her mother Sukanya said.

"You are thinking only about her after her death. You need some psychologist's help Sukanya. You terribly need a psychologist's help now."

"No, mom. I don't need any psychologist or psychiatrist's help." Sukanya fall back on the bed and closed her eyes. "Just sleep beside me. I don't want to sleep alone now."

Her mother Latha gently placed herself beside Sukanya and put her hand on her. She understood that her daughter feared herself a lot.

"Hear me Sukanya. Tomorrow we sure do go to that Niranjan. I heard he is indeed a famous psychologist. He sure tells you how to manage with your mind. You are indeed obsessed with the thoughts of Nirupama."

"Alright mom." Sukanya mumbled.

As she was completely dropping herself into sleep, Sukanya remembered Niranjan's words. 'You and your mother are going to see me soon." She felt awe.

***

"You are indeed having rare capabilities." Once Sukanya and her mother Latha settled before Niranjan, Sukanya said to him.

"It is not at all so. I am just an ordinary psychologist." Niranjan smiled.

"But you could say that I am going to visit you just in one or two days with my mother and I have come like this."

"I am not thinking that it is a great feat at all." Niranjan said and looked into the eyes of both "It just automatically popped into my mind and I said that."

"What happened?" Sukanya's mother asked her. Then Sukanya explained to her that her coming to Niranjan with Menaka and Niranjan's saying that Sukanya would visit him with her mother in one or two days.

"Indeed very much fascinating!" Latha admired him.

Niranjan did not want to say anything on that. "So, your daughter cannot escape from the thoughts of Nirupama."

"Exactly. She is dreaming her everyday. Talking about her in her sleep. She obsessed with those thoughts. That Nirupama was a very good girl. I liked her a lot. But now she is no more. What would be the use in thinking about her all the time so?"

"Stop thinking about her is betraying her." Sukanya said. "You know what a good friend that Nirupama to me. How can I stop thinking about her?"

"This is the way she is talking." Latha irritatingly said.

Niranjan smiled and said. "You both are right in your way of thinking." Then he said looking into the eyes of Sukanya. "You need not stop thinking about Nirupama. But there is no necessity to think about her all the time."

"I too don't want to think about her all the time. But I just could not stop my thoughts." Sukanya said helplessly.

"Here the real problem lies. No one can stop thoughts intentionally." Niranjan said. He looked into the eyes of Latha and said to her. "It is impossible. Your daughter cannot stop thinking about Nirupama. To that matter no one can stop their obsessive thoughts relating to anything. If we do try to stop them they become even more strong and fierce."

"What is the way then? Should my daughter remain a victim to those thoughts? Should she get those dreams all the time?" Latha anxiously asked.

"No, it is not so. I am going to tell you the best way to deal with those thoughts. First listen to me carefully." He paused for a moment and then said. "Okay. More and more thoughts have been coming into your mind regarding that Nirupama. You are not doing those thought voluntarily but they are just coming into your mind so. What is the problem? They are just thoughts and they cannot do any harm to you."

"I cannot understand what you are saying." Sukanya confusedly said.

"You sure can if I do explain to you a little more." Niranjan said. "We do hear all sorts of sounds all the time around us. Do we bother about each and every sound? Disturb ourselves about each one of them?"

"Never." Sukanya nodded her head in negation.

"Take your thoughts in your mind just like that. They are just like the sounds around you. Don't try to stop the thoughts that come into your mind at all. You need not even observe them. Just let them come and pass."

"They are forcibly coming into my notice. They are demanding my attention." Sukanya understood what he was saying.

"Then acknowledge them and let those particular thoughts linger in your mind as long as they want. Don't stop what you are doing then. If you are reading your class book don't stop reading it while not trying to throw away those obsessive thoughts."

"How can I concentrate on my studies without getting rid of those irritating thoughts?"

"Sure you can if you try." Niranjan said. "Don't feel fear to the thoughts. Don't feel fear to dreams. What are dreams after all? They are your unknowing and subconscious thinking. You think in your sleep also. But you don't know you are thinking because your surface awareness is sleeping then. So that thinking turns into dreams and appears like scenes to you."

"Really is it is so? People do think while they are sleeping also?" Sukanya asked him with surprise.

"While they are dreaming, yes. There would be no thoughts in deep sleep. It is unconscious thinking projects as dreaming in fact."

"But how do we think anything unconsciously? Thinking means we have to apply our mind. How do we apply our mind unconsciously?"

"Observe yourself everyday for sometime. You can see how many number of thoughts come into your mind without your knowledge at all. You suddenly caught a thought and surprise yourself when you have started thinking about it."

"You are right. On some occasions I found myself thinking about something seriously even I don't want" Sukanya enthusiastically said. "From now on I do even more observation."

"You are welcome to do it. You are not going to regret what you would do. Observing your thoughts is always a nice thing. It is indeed a sort of meditation." Niranjan said.

Sukanya breathed heavily and said "I need to say a very important thing to you now." Then she explained the dream she got the day before. "What I understood is Nirupama did not like anyone knows about the reason that compelled her to commit suicide. I am not seeing any reason particularly to know about it once Nirupama is not interested in letting it to be known to anyone else."

"I am also feeling and thinking in the same way you are doing." Niranjan said. "But see... yesterday you have got only a dream. The Nirupama in it also is your mind but not Nirupama. Basing on the circumstances, you are thinking in yourself that Nirupama does not want the said reason to be out. So you thought unconsciously about that and your thinking projected like a dream so."

"Whatever you may say." Sukanya breathed heavily and said. "I am not thinking that yesterday's dream is just a dream. I am thinking that Nirupama let her opinion known to me like that. It would be quite better that Smaran and Menaka do not try anymore to know about that."

"It is Nirupama's father wants to know about that, neither Smaran nor Menaka. If Ranganath asks them to stop they do stop."

"Then why don't you talk with that Ranganath? He sure does listen to you. I am also not seeing any useful purpose by unearthing unsavourable past like that."Latha said.

"I already talked with Ranganath. He is hell bent in knowing about it." Niranjan said. "We are helpless in this regard."

"You may be right." Latha nodded her head. "Better we do both go our home now."

Niranjan remained staring at them both while they were going out of his house.

***

"What is that much big matter you want to discuss with me now, tell me?" keeping a smile on his lips while looking into the face of Menaka, Smaran said.

"It is my strong opinion. Suddenly popped up into my mind only yesterday night. I thought it would be better we do have a discussion on this. If my presumption is right we can find a way to get the truth out.."

"First tell me. Don't maintain suspense." Leaning back in the chair Smaran said.

"Before I make my point here, I want to point out what I am thinking noticeable." She paused for a moment. "Nirupama is daughter to both Ranganath and Nirmala also. Her death is a shock to them both. But it is only Ranganath who wants to know the truth. Nirmala not even a little is bothering about it."

"Have you forgotten? Nirmala is mad. She is still thinking that her daughter is alive."

"You and that Niranjan both certified that she is forcing that imagination on her that her daughter is alive and deep inside she knows the truth."

"Then" Smaran made a questioning look.

"Why not Nirmala is worrying to know about the truth just as Ranganath is worrying?"

"Alright. What is your theory on it?" Smaran straightly asked her.

"Nirmala knows the truth."

"What does that mean?"

"That means, Nirmala knows why her daughter committed suicide."

Smaran laughed loud. There was no surprise at all in him.

"Are not you feeling surprise at what I have said? Is there a chance that it may be so?" Menaka frowned and asked him.

"This is uppermost in my mind also for the last one week or so. Yes, I agree. Nirupama's mother knows why her daughter committed suicide."

There was heavy silence launched between them both then. "May I tell you one other thing that is even more shocking to you?"

"Please tell me." There was suddenly interest picked up in Menaka's face.

"I cannot say why at present, but Nirmala for some reason justifying her daughter's death."

"What the bloody hell you are talking about?" Menaka angrily said. "It never can be true. Why and how Nirmala justifies her daughter's death?."

"I cannot give you the reasons. But in Nirmala's opinion it was something inevitable and has to happen only like that."

"If it is so I never can pardon that Nirmala." The facial muscles tightened in Menaka.

"Don't get angry. We both have come onto a unanimous opinion that Nirmala knows the reason for her daughter committing suicide. Now we have to think of ways to make that truth out."

"What should we do? What are your plans?" Sukanya eagerly asked him.

"I cannot give you any plans now. I have to think about." Smaran said. "In the meanwhile you continue in the usual way. Most important don't forget your hypnotism. I am having my hopes on this particularly."

"Even I forget about it that Nirmala would not forget about it at all. Everyday she is compelling me to hypnotize her so."

"In my opinion we can solve this forever just in three or four days." Smaran said.

After that Smaran and Menaka talked for some more time.

(..........to be continued)

(I hope you enjoyed it so far. Please don't forget to rate and review it. I update the next chapter as early as possible.)

#investigation #detection #psychology #hypnosis#hypnotism #love #romance #romantic #suspense #thriller #sentiment #family#suicide #psychology #hypnosis #self-hypnosis #psychiatry #psychiatrist