Well.... *sniff sniff*

Lots have happened since I left my small town..... One of my best friends found herself a boyfriend already....

I swear if that guy breaks my best friends heart I'll have my Legos and metal bat and my chancla in hand!

But moving on....that girl that's my best friend is also named Erika....so she is turning 15 this October 24th....and she's throwing a quienceañera, and she wants me to be one of her damas, but I swear I can even go back to my little town without breaking down in tears....

I've had so many good memories there...too good to go back and relive them....

My parents had said to suck it up and live life right were I am now....

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I've played my fight song, I've even played my prove I'm alright song.....

But I can't keep my little feelings bottled up anymore.....

My fight song, my prove I'm alright song is gone....I just can't say that nothing is happening anymore....

I've lost friends....true friends, we treated each other like sisters....

I literally broke down in tears as I heard "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran.

I'm trying to catch my sleep, my mom is already worried about me, she's afraid that I might go back into minor depression, I'm trying my best not to....

At least my power is still turned on....I'm trying to keep strong.....
I've only got a small amount of fight left in me..... Just a small amount....

Maybe enough to get me through this....

I can't go back there....if I do...I'm just gonna break down....

But writing is a stress reliever....it's the only thing that keeps me on.....

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."

Remember that guy I mentioned that I beat in trivia, and he hated my guts because of that....

Well to be honest....I realized that I may miss him already....I didn't even realize it at all...not until after I heard photograph....

Yeah he may have hated my guys because I beat him in a battle of smarts, but I realized that my first crush was him....leaving everyone, including him, is making me realize that i was too dumb, too caught up in studies, to even realize I had my first crush back there....I thought if never fall for anyone, but leaving, my mind is cleared up and I can think straight....
but now it's too late to go back....

I was a kid in love....and I didn't even notice it.....

So I'm just deciding to push those feeling I have towards that guy away....I can't go though that....I'm still to young to experience this....

As for my friend's Quienceañera....I've already decided to not attend, its just gonna make me suffer knowing I'll be going to see familiar faces only for a while, an then leaving once more and never returning.....

I'm just gonna write some more in my journal before I get even more sick than I am already.... Which reminds me I'm starting to get sick already....

Welp...that's all for now

Sincerely,
Your author who's actually crying for the first time as a teenager......
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✌🏻️OUT AWESOME/FABULOUS UNICORN WAFFLE NINJAS!!!!
          ~E