#38

Request: @a_gay_idiot101

Word count: 842

Prompt: N/a

Universe: series

Age: 18

Status: teammates with crushes

Note/Warning: so much self doubt oml. thank u for over 60K reads???? why???? how?????

Kai stared at me intensely.

Beads of sweat dripped down my forehead, panting from exhaustion. My chest heaving from taking deep breaths, Kai was really hard to keep up with.

He gave me his famous smirk, his eyes slightly blazing. "Come on, give me everything you got." He taunted me. He was right though, I was holding back. I was afraid of hurting him, Jay kept on mentioning yesterday on how strong I was during battle, and that scared me during training. I was mostly doing defence before we decided to spar, one on one.

I inaudibly gulped, "a- are you sure?" My voice was timid, small, doubting he even heard me.

"No hesitation." I drained all of my worries and went at him. I kept punching, kicking, blocking, just doing what I can in terms of training level. That was until he held my arms behind my back, pressing me onto him, his chin on my shoulder. "I win," he breathed in my ear.

"No hesitation," I exclaimed before sweeping my feet under him then flipping him over my back onto the floor. He moaned very loudly, clutching his side in pain. The adrenaline started to come down, making me realize what I had done. My eyes widen, covering my mouth as I gasped in shock. "I- I'm so so so sorry," I uttered while letting out a shaky breath, crouching to have a better look.

"It's fine, don't worry," he placed a hand on my arm. He then grunted in pain once more

I stood up slowly from my position, "I'll go get Wu."

Nya told me that he was fine and that it was just a small bruise on his hip.

That did not make me feel any better. I injured my teammate, I injured my friend, I injured my crush. I knew I should've went easy on him, I hated going hard. I knew my own strength, why couldn't I control it.
I needed a punching bag. I needed something that wasn't alive; something I couldn't hurt. I went to the dojo and started punching the bag as hard as I could. I didn't even bother to put cloth around my knuckles. The pain I felt was raw. I could feel the pain shocking up through my hand as I punched even harder.

The bag started to swing a bit. Swaying back and forth, it was barely evident, but it was there. Which was rare to see because the bag was really heavy. It was three times the weight of the average punching bag because everyone in the monastery had powers.
Every time it swung forward, I'd hit it twice as hard as I normally do. I needed to do this. Even though the pain was almost unbearable to deal with, I kept going. I hurt someone and I needed to express my feelings.
"Hey, Y/n." His voice still lingered in my head. In anger, I roundhouse kick the bag and all I heard in result was a grunt. The bag swung towards me and I held it so it would stop.

I closed my eyes shut.
You're imagining it. You didn't hurt Kai again. It was someone else. No! it was nobody. The vvoice was in your head. Even with my attempt to reassure myself, I was afraid to open my eyes to see what had happen. With an inaudible gulp, I peaked with one eye and looked towards the side of the punching bag.

My nightmares came true.

Kai was on the floor, holding his head, and looked like he was in pain. The pain I caused him to be in. Why wouldn't my curse end? "Kai, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why did you have to be on the other side?" I worried. "I'm so sorry. So, so, so, sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I- I'll be fine," he tried to comfort me. Me?! After he's the one that got hurt by me again. I should be reassuring him. Maybe he wasn't safe around me. Maybe, I'm dangerous and I'll I can do is hurt stuff. I let out a shaky breath in fear. Afraid of myself. I didn't want to hurt the other ninja as well. I couldn't. I shouldn't be here. I would hurt someone again. I can't let that happen. I needed to quit the team. "Y/n?"

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, knowing my time here at the monastery with the ninja is coming to an end. "I can't stay here. I have to go, I'll call Wu for you to check on your head."

That was the last time I came face to face with the ninja team ever again.

Kai was saddened that his teammate left.

He slammed his fist on his bedside table, annoyed and angry with himself that he couldn't man up and ask her out. He couldn't even tell her that his injuries wouldn't think of her any less. He let out a frustrated groan, letting his raw anger show.

He didn't even get to tell her how he felt.