"I hate spiders." Jay muttered beside you. "I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them."

"Did you get your point across?" you asked dryly, edging yourself slowly towards your room, trying not to disturb the eight legged beast in the middle of your dorm room. Your roommate was not going to like this.

Jay shot you an angry look.

He kind of had a right to be mad. Up until the point he got here, you completely forgot about his fear of spiders. You now remembered his story on how he fought a giant, poisonous spider once, and how he's been afraid of them ever since.

Honestly, you didn't really believe him until he walked into your dorm, screamed, and lightning shot out of his nose.

Out of his nose.

So now not only did you have a tarantula the size of a dinner plate on your floor, you also had a snotty scorch mark to explain to your roommate when she came back.

"How did that thing even get here?" Jay whispered-hissed at you, edging, as well, towards your bedroom.

"There's this girl on my floor who has a weird obsession with spiders. It must've escaped or something."

You weren't aloud pets in the dorm building, which everyone knew. Though, you wouldn't be surprised if Lily snuck a giant arachnid into her room.

"If I ever meet her, I'm zapping her." Jay said through clenched teeth.

"With your nose lightning?" you asked, breathing a sigh of relief as you finally slipped into the safety of your room.

"Ha ha." Jay followed quickly, shut the door, and locked it.

You didn't like this situation anymore than he did, but your were pretty sure the spider couldn't open doors. But the look on Jay's face told you he wasn't taking any chances, so you didn't question it.

"Okay. What now?"

"We call the fire department and sit here eating the secret stash of candy under your pillow."

"First of all, we're not calling the the fire department for a spider. I'm already drowning in student debt, and I don't need a fine on top of it. Secondly, how the hell did you know about my candy?"

Jay snorted. "You act like I know nothing about you."

He walked over to your bed and pulled out the bag of fun sized candies you hid there.

"Oh, this one has bite sized snickers." he said, helping himself to your junk food.

"That's not really important right now, Jay."

"I'm perfectly contempt with staying here for the rest of the day mooching off your candy."

"Well I'm not. What about when my roommate comes home? That thing could be poisonous! What if it attacks her?"

Jay chewed on his snickers thoughtfully. "That would be bad." he agreed.

"Plus" you said, pulling out your last card of persuasion "You'd get brownie points if you somehow helped out in getting rid of it."

Jay dropped the bag. "You don't mean-"

"Oh yes. I mean my moms texas sheet cake triple chocolate brownies. With frosting."

You learned a long time ago that you could bribe Jay into doing just about anything with literal brownie points. Especially your moms brownies.

He sighed, looking like he expected extra frosting and sprinkles for doing this.

"Fine. Do you have a plan?"

"You're the ninja! What's your plan?"

"This is an awful plan." you told Jay an hour later, looking at the duct tape he had in his hand in distaste.

"You told me to come up with a plan! This was the best I got."

"Taping pillows to our bodies so we could try to kill the spider without it biting us?" you asked flatly. "What about our hands?"

"Three layers of gloves. Duh." the blue ninja answered, as if it was obvious. "I know you have some. You always loose a pair, buy another, only to find the previously lost pair a week later."

No one could say Jay didn't know his girlfriend trivia, you'd give him that.

Sighing and saying goodbye to your dignity, you held arms up, and Jay grabbed one of your too many pillows from your bed.

About fifteen minutes later, you were finishing up on Jay's pillow armor. He had the genius idea of taping stuffed animals to your knees and elbows since, one, pillows wouldn't cover them, and two, even though Jay knew a spider probably wasn't going to bite his elbow, he still wasn't taking any chances.

But it was hard to take him serious with a care bear taped to his knee. Though, when did you ever take him serious?

Jay handed you a baseball bat he pulled out of the trash pit that was your closet, and grabbed a hockey stick for himself.

"Since when were you into baseball and hockey?" he asked curiously.

"Since never. These were my dads "burglar stopping tools" that he insisted I took with me." You said, remembering your dad clinging to your ankles, insisting you took the bat and stick before you left for school.

"You could be murdered!" he had said, like there wasn't any security guards at every entrance in the dorm building.

You ended up taking them anyway, just to put him at ease.

And so he would stop sobbing and getting snot on your favorite pair of jeans.

Jay nodded, like he expected this of your father. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." you answered, feeling your dignity finally giving out, shriveling up and dying as you looked down at your pillow-tape armour.

Jay nodded again, and went to open your door.

Immediately consumed by anxiety, you hid behind your boyfriend as he slowly opened the door. Jay was shaking so bad, you thought his hand would faze through the door, like The Flash.

At last, the door was fully open, but the spider wasn't in the place you left it.

It had crawled up your door and appeared to be staring at you with eight, beady eyes.

Screaming, you swung your bat, narrowly missing Jays head as you did so. Unfortunately, your aim was horrible, so instead of killing the beast, you put a hole through your door instead.

Well shit.

Lightning coming out of his nose for the second time, the blue ninja grabbed your arm and, screaming, pulled you into the small kitchen area, back against the cabinets.

"Why didn't you hit it?!" Jay yelled.

"Why did you shoot lightning out of your nose again!?" you countered.

"Stop bringing that up!" Jay peeked over the counter, scanning the living room.

For once, you cursed going to a school where you got a huge dorm room. It certainly didn't help in this situation.

"I can't see it."

"Shoot it with your nose lightning." you said again, shaking from the fear of explaining the hole in your door to the dorm mother.

"Stop it!" he whined, care bear hanging off his knee. "He have more pressing matters to worry about.

You also got up to look over the counter, scanning every corner of the room and still not seeing anything.

"Maybe it fell off my door and died?" you said, hopeful.

Jay suddenly screamed, and grabbed the nearest object, a banana, and chucked it at the floor, again missing as the tarantula scuttle out of the way.

Thinking this better than to swing a baseball bat around, you also started grabbing things to throw.

The two of you threw practically everything in your kitchen: silverware, cereal boxes, apples, knives, a random book you found under the sink, an ice cube tray, and all the pots and pans you had.

But the creature was still alive, somehow. It's ugly face seemed to glare angrily as it moved it's eight legs towards you.

Jay, as a last resort, tried to use his lightning powers, which you warned him months ago not to do since he could cause a power-

All the lights went off at the same time, leaving you in pitch black.

"Jay. Just....why?"

"I thought it would help!"

Obviously not.

You heard the spider slowly crawling towards you, it's legs clacking on the floor.

"I'm gonna die in pillow armour." Jay said to no one. "I regret everything."

Just as you were about to smack your boyfriend on the head with your bat and tell him to try and fix the lights, your front door opened.

"Y/n, I'm home! Why is it so dark? Y/n-"

There was a loud crunch, and a brief pause. Then Laura turned her phone flash light on to see what she stepped on.

"Y/n, this better be a taco bell crunch wrap and not a fucking spider I'm standing on.

Needless to say, you avoided any spiders since that day. And when your sons eleventh birthday came around, and "Uncle Kai" thought it would be cool to get him a pet tarantula for a present, well.....

You and Jay actually called the fire department that time.

LATER GOLDEN HEARTS!!!!

~ HeartOfGold12