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Princess: Welcome back to another useless session with the agitating and counterproductive Ninjago cast!

*Applause*

Random person #1: Whoo! I love it when she berates them!

Random person #2: Why?

Random person #1: Because I hate Ninjago.

Random person #2: *outraged* THEN WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THEIR BEHIND-THE-SCENES SPECIAL, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE *censory beep*

Princess: . . . . .

Random person #1: *whimper*

Princess: Please, don't cry-

Random person #1: Whaaaaaa!

Princess: Oh boy. Security! We have a grown man bawling his eyes out! Plus, he's an anti-Ninjago-ist! Please, take him away!

Security: *throws crying anti-Ninjago-ist out*

Rick Astley: Oof.

Princess: Anyway, today we are going to be joined by the villains that never seem to give the Ninja a break. Everyone, please welcome this evil band of psychotic trouble makers, royals, warlords, ghosts, snakes and dove mans!

*Applause*

Fugi-dove: *screeches* MY CRY FILLS THE NIGHT!

Karen: *throws slipper at Fugi-dove*

Villains: *walk in like they own the place*

Princess: Please, you evil masterminds, have a seat.

Chen: *takes off sunglasses* Why is it so hot in here?

Clouse: It's probably because of the layers of overcoats you put on, Master.

Chen: They're expensive, Clouse. I have to let the people know of my wealth.

Skylor: 😑

Princess: Let's get on with the interviews before Chen treats us all like third-world citizens!

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✨ Time Twins/ Hands Of Time ✨

Princess: Tell me gentleman, what do you prefer being called? The 'Time Twins', the 'Masters Of Time', 'Krux and Acronix' or the 'Hands of Time'?

*At the same time*

Krux: The Hands of Time.

Acronix: The Time Twins.

Krux and Acronix: *glare at each other*

Krux: The Hands of Time!

Acronix: No! The Time Twins!

Krux: Hands of Time!

Acronix: Time Twins!

Krux: HANDS OF TIME!

Acronix: TIME TWINS!

The Donkey From Shrek: Donkey!

Princess: Gentlemen-

Krux: The 'Hands of Time' sounds so much more dignified, apt and recherché.

Acronix: What does that even mean?!

Krux: *sigh* It means elegant.

Acronix: *sarcastic* Well, the 'Time Twins' doesn't exactly make us sound like uncultured swines, does it?

Krux No, but-

Acronix: Then, we shall be addressed as the Time Twins. It sounds catchy, like alliteration in a poem.

Krux: *rolls eyes* Oh, please! It makes us sound like an 80's pop band. And it seems like a child devised that cliché name.

Acronix: Well, the 'Hands of Time' makes us sound like . . . hands!

Princess: *fed up* Okay, thank you for your time! You may leave now-

Krux: This means war!

Acronix: Gird your loins!

Princess: This can be solved peacefully, you know.

Acronix: *pulls out knife* Peace was never an option!

Princess: You're gonna attack your twin brother with a knife?!

Acronix: Yes! Charge! Yargh! *jumps on Krux*

Krux: What the-

*Technical Difficulties*

. . .

✨Master Chen✨

Chen: Clap for me, you filthy peasants!

*No one claps*

Rick Astley: Oof.

Chen: *sees camera and gets excited* Ooh! Look, Clouse! I'm on TV!

Clouse: Yes, Master Chen.

Chen: This is so exciting! An interview with the remarkable Master Chen! Brilliant! Take my picture, Clouse!

Clouse: *sighs and takes out a camera* Sit still, Master.

Princess: So, is this your first time on TV?

Chen: *moves without letting Clouse take the picture and gasps* You offend me, Madam!

Chen: Sir-

Chen: Of course this isn't my first time on TV! I've been on TV ever since I can remember. Clouse can attest! Tell them, Clouse.

Clouse: You were born on TV, Master.

Chen: True story!

Princess: Uh . . .

Chen: Why have you not taken my picture yet, Clousey-clouse? I can't hold this magnificent smile for all of eternity, you know.

Clouse: *raises camera again* Forgive me. Now, please just-

Chen: *turns to Princess without letting Clouse take the picture* I must tell you about the time when I single handedly took on a giant snake.

Clouse: *growls*

Princess: Uh, we really don't have time for-

Chen: Oh, do not worry! I'll only take fifteen minutes.

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Princess:

Chen: And then I punched the beast in the face using my already fractured arm and it fell down to the ground in a crumpled heap.

Everyone:

Princess: *relieved* Thank you so–

Chen: Clouse! Why is it so hard for you to take my picture?!

Clouse: I'M TRYING TO–

Chen: Shut up and get on with it! *strikes pose*

Clouse: *prays and raises camera*

Chen: *sees Kai flirting with Skylor*

Chen: *jumps up from the seat* Get away from her!

Princess: Um, excuse me, Master Chen–

Clouse: *having a crisis in the background*

Princess: We'll be back after a short break!

. . .

✨ Aspheera✨

Princess: Hello! How are you?

Aspheera: I am absolutely devastated.

Princess: Oh, um, why?

Aspheera: I've been wronged by an idiot, treacherous deceiver. I am unable to show my face to the public.

Cole: *whispers to Zane* Then why is she on TV?

Princess: Well, I do hope you get what you're hoping for and be happy again.

Aspheera: Revenge!

Lloyd: Oi, here we go again.

Princess: Yes, that's very nice. Now, how about we–

Aspheera: REVENGE!

Princess: Are you okay?

Aspheera: rEvEnGe!

Princess: Please, try to calm down.

Aspheera: REVENGE!!!!!!!!!

Kai: Sweet mother of hair-gel! Someone shut her up!

Princess: Oh, for the love of– SECURITY! TAKE HER AWAY!

Wu: *nervously inching towards the exit*

Aspheera: I WANT REVENGE! YOU SHALL NOT PASS ME, TREACHEROUS DECEIVER!

Casting Director: Why is she yelling out lines from her script?!

Karen: Oh, shut up! *throws cell phone at Aspheera*

Rick Astley: Oof.

. . .

✨ Morro ✨

Morro: *glares at Princess*

Princess: *gulp*

Morro: *still glares at Princess*

Princess: *tries to hide the list of blacklisted people for the Green Ninja auditions*

Morro: *still glaring at Princess*

Princess: *clears throat* So, how are you doing?

Morro: Fine, no thanks to you.

Princess: I'm sure you're satisfied with your career as a–

Morro: Villain? Yep, it's okay.

Princess: Oh, that's good to–

Morro: *slams hand on table*

*The Commissioner's ship model falls over*

Rick Astley: Oof.

Morro: When you blacklisted me and my awesome talent, I got a part for the villain. A villain whose life goal is to CRUSH the Green Ninja!

Lloyd: *winces*

Morro: *stands up proudly* I am going to destroy the very thing that I've been striving for all my life!

Ninja: *rapidly bundling Lloyd into the limousine before things get "ugly"*

Princess: *trying to stall till Lloyd safely gets away* Um, would you like a glass of . . . uh . . . boba?

Morro: I hate boba! It's beneath me!

Wu: *disappointed noises*

Guard: *salutes* Ma'am, the Green Ninja has been safely removed from the premises.

Princess: Excell–

Morro: *rubs hands together* Excellent! Now, it'll be my job to remove him from the universe!

Morro: *uses powers to fly out the window after the limo*

Kai: Great! I can be the temporary Green Ninja till Lloyd returns safe and sound – which I doubt.

Everyone: No!

. . .

✨ Ultraviolet ✨

Princess: Welco–

Ultraviolet: *zooms around on bike with her weird battle cry*

Princess: Miss Violet–

Ultraviolet: It's uLtRaViOlEt!

Princess: O-okay . . .

Ultraviolet: *grabs the camera and brings it close to her face, we can clearly see her nose hairs*

Ultraviolet: Watch out, people! Here comes the maniac!

Ultraviolet: *throws camera on the camera man and zooms around on her bike again*

Karen: Outrageous behavior! I demand to speak to your manager!

Ultraviolet: *yeets Harumi to the front*

Harumi: Uh, what?

Lloyd: *Vasilopoulaphobia intensifies*

Kai: Wait, why are you here?! I thought we sent you off on the limo with Morro chasing after you!

Lloyd: No, that was Rick Astley.

Jay: Oh no! Morro's gonna kill him! Who's gonna "oof" for us now?

Cole: He gave us up!

Voice: Never fear!

*Pop music begins and Rick Astley jumps down from the ceiling*

Rick Astley:
Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around and desert you!
Never gonna make you cry!
Never gonna say goodbye!
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!

Everyone: *cheers*

Jay: *fake tears* Rick! You're back! I thought we lost you.

Everyone: *realizes their being rick-rolled*

*Intense screaming and chaos*

Jay: MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!

Random dude: *pushes Ultraviolet off and uses her bike to ride out the door*

Rick Astley: *still singing* We're no strangers to love.

Commissioner: Sir, you are under arrest!

Rick Astley: You know the rules and so do I.

Commissioner: Of course I know the rules!

Rick Astley: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.

Commissioner: Huh?

Rick Astley: You wouldn't get this from any other guy!

Kai: WE WERE DOING PERFECTLY FINE UP TILL NOW! WHY HAS HE RANDOMLY STARTED SINGING?!

Rick Astley: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

Nya: No one cares!

Rick Astley: Gotta make you understand!

Cole: *crying*

Rick Astley:
Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around–

Princess: *whacks Rick on the head with a shovel*

Everyone: *relieved sigh*

Jay: . . . . . Oof.

Princess: Let's never bring villains in front of the camera ever again.

Fugi-dove: *disappointed noises*

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