This chapter is just . . . . oof.

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Princess: Today we are gonna go behind the scenes of the various clips that were recorded when Ninjago was first being assembled.

Cole: Ah, memories!

Princess: Take your sentimentality somewhere else!

Jay: *whispers* Oof.

Princess: And stop using the "oof" exclamation that y'all obviously stole from Roblox.

Kai: You use it too.

Princess: Shut up!

Jay: Oof.

Princess: *glares*

Jay: Okay, I'll stop now.

Princess: Let's start with the Green Ninja auditions, shall we?

Random person: No.

Jay: Oof.

🐲~~~~🐲

*On the Dark Island set*

Princess: Alright, kids! Who can tell me who the Green Ninja is?

Bunch of kids we got from somewhere: *noise* Ooh! Ooh! Me! I know! Please, pick me! He doesn't know anything, pick me!

Princess: Yes, you there! The one with the Mr. Cuddlywomp plushie!

Kid: The Green Ninja is a loser who cries and steals candies from poor people!

*Silence*

Jay: Oof.

Princess: . . . . . . .

Princess: Weeeeellllll . . . um . . . okay. You know what, never mind. Today we have the following people who are here to audition for the role of the Green Ninja. We have:

~ Kai Smith
~ Dareth
~ Morro
~ Karen
~ Lloyd Garmadon
~ Mr. E
Aaaaaand Rick Astley!

Casting Director: Wait a minute-

Princess: We don't have a minute! Let's goooooo!!!

****

✨ Kai Smith ✨

Kai: *reads script* Okay, here we go.

Kai: *puts on dramatic face* The time has come to-

Worker: *angry*  You! What are you doing here?

Kai: Auditioning for the Green Ninja?

Worker: *yanks Kai away from the set* You've already auditioned for the ninja of fire and they've given you the part.

Kai: But I wanna be the Green Ninja!

Worker: You can't be the Green Ninja and the Fire Ninja at the same time! Just pick one!

Kai: I pick the Green Ninja.

Worker, Princess, Casting Director: NO!!!!

Rick Astley: Oof.

Kai: *sad Fire Ninja noises*

Princess: *blacklists Kai*

****

✨ Dareth ✨

Dareth: *can't find the script*

Casting Director: Hurry up, man. We don't have all day.

Dareth: I'm sure I put it . . . *crawling on the floor and checking under tables and chairs*

Princess: *getting impatient* Someone get this man a script!

Dareth: Found it!

Casting Director: Yes, carry on.

Dareth: *clears throat* We are– oh wait, wrong script.

Casting Director: *mutters in another language* Dafa karo isko meri nazron say.

Rick Astley: Oof.

Princess: Get him out of here!

Security: *yeets Dareth out of the room*

Princess: *blacklists Dareth*

****

✨ Mr. E ✨

Casting Director: I hope you have your script with you.

Mr. E: *shows script*

Casting Director: Thank goodness. Continue.

Mr. E: *reads script*

Mr. E: . . . . . . . .

Casting Director: Is something wrong?

Mr. E: . . . . . . . .

Casting Director: Mr. E? Are you okay?

Mr. E: . . . . . . . . .

Casting Director: If you're nervous, I totally understand. Just relax and take your time.

Mr. E: . . . . . . . . .

Mr. E: . . . . . . . . .

Random person: *cough*

Mr. E: . . . . . . . . .

Lloyd: *clears throat awkwardly*

Mr. E: . . . . . . . . .

Rick Astley: 😪😴

Casting Director: *to Princess* Is he deaf? Is he retarded?

Princess: Actually . . . . he can't talk.

Kid: Oof.

*Super Mario Bros theme starts playing*

Princess: You know what, I'll just blacklist him. *blacklists Mr. E*

****

✨ Morro ✨

Morro: *snatches script from an intern*

Morro: Let me show you real talent.

Morro: *clears throat and begins* The party is over! Close the gates.

Morro: *still in character* Elsa, no! Wait!

Morro: Give me back my glove!

Morro: Elsa, please! Please, I can't live like this anymore!

Morro: Then leave!

Morro: What did I ever do to you?!

Morro: Enough, Anna!

Morro: *still in character* No! Why? Why did you shut me out? Why did you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?!

Princess: Wut?????

Morro: *realization* What is this? Who the heck are Anna and Elsa, why are people stealing gloves and why is the Green Ninja shutting everyone out like a moody, emo teen? But most importantly: wHaT PaRtY?!?!?!?!

Casting Director: Why do you have the Frozen script?!

Morro: *confused* WHY IS THE SCRIPT FROZEN?! WHO PUTS A SCRIPT IN THE FREEZER!!!

Princess: What is going–

*Technical Difficulties*

Kid: Oof.

Princess: *blacklists Morro*

Morro: It wasn't my fault!

Princess: No one cares.

Morro: But I wanna be the Green Ninja!!!

Princess: No.

Kid: Oof.

****

✨ Rick Astley ✨

Casting Director: *fed up at this point*

Rick Astley: Shall I begin?

Casting Director: *sarcastic* Obviously.

Rick Astley: *picks up script* The time has come to finally put our past behind us and look to the future.

Casting Director: *sees hope*

Rick Astley: *continues* I am not afraid to fight my father anymore. I would gladly give my life if it means that I can save him and the rest of Ninjago from ultimate doom.

Random person: *crying fake tears* He's doing it! He's really doing it!

*Choir music in the background for effect while a spotlight shines on Rick Astley*

Rick Astley: *continues* Bear witness, my friends. I, the Green Ninja, am sacrificing my everything to defeat the Overlord once and for all. Fight bravely, my comrades, so that our legend may forever fly!

Everyone: *cheering and throwing flowers*

Rick Astley: *continues* Remember this, Ninja. I will never betray you no matter what obstacle we may face. I promise that I am . . . . . .

*Choir stops and pop music begins*

Rick Astley:
Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around and desert you!

Woman: *shrieks in horror*

Rick Astley:
Never gonna make you cry!
Never gonna say goodbye!
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!

Casting Director: *running for his life* We're getting rick-rolled! Throw him out!

Kids: *screaming and panicking*

Intern: *jumps out the window*

Security: *manages to throw Rick Astley out the window after the intern*

Kid: Oof for the intern.

Princess: *blacklists Rick Astley*

****

✨ Karen ✨

Karen: *stares at script*

Karen: *angry* This script is outrageous! What is this? A kid's show?!

Princess: Actually, it is.

Karen: Then why are half the audience teens?!

Princess: So what? It's a free country!

Karen: *ignores Princess* I cannot work like this!

Casting Director: We can change the script a little for you.

Karen: No! Why wasn't it perfect from the start?! You're all amateurs!

Casting Director: Wasn't the Green Ninja supposed to be a male?

Karen: How dare you say such a thing in front a woman?! Have you no shame? Where is my purse?

Casting Director: Ma'am, I need you to calm down.

Karen: I demand to speak to the manager!

Casting Director: I am the manager!

Karen: No! You're the casting director!

Casting Director: Yes! I'm the manager for the cast!

Karen: Shut up! *throws perfume bottle at Casting Director's head*

Rick Astley: Oof.

Princess: *blacklists Karen*

****

✨ Lloyd Garmadon ✨

Lloyd: *nervously skims through the script*

Casting Director: *holding an ice pack to his head* You know, kid, you don't have to do anything.

Lloyd: *surprised* I- I don't?

Casting Director: No, you don't. I'm very tired and I want to wrap this up quickly. You look perfect for the role and I have full faith that you sound perfect too.

Lloyd: Oh, um . . . . thank–

Casting Director: You have everything that a protagonist needs. You have blonde hair, nice eyes, good body buid, you seem talented and you're good-looking. You're basically a teenage heartthrob and I don't need anything more. Go live your dream.

Lloyd: . . . . . . .

Princess: *sighs and writes "Accepted" on Lloyd's name*

Princess: Congratulations.

Audience: *applause*

Princess: This has been a heck of a day. Good-bye everyone! We hope to see you again!

Random person: No.

Kid: Oof.

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