WARNING: THIS CRAPS DEPRESSING, DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE REFERENCES TO BLOOD AND SELF HARM. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED IN ALL CAPS!!!!!! : P This is a halfway continuation of my first Jay sad story. Why must I hurt my blue Jay :'(

Jay smiles as he walks into school, that stupid grin that many had come to hate. Blue eyes bright as he walks down the hall hiding the greater pain of his life, problems adding up behind him like footsteps as he moves, each just a little heavier than the rest.

One little line for every fake smile or laugh, just one little red line. One line, no spoken words, just silent prayers. Quick, easy and hidden from the prying eyes of others, others who seek to judge and use his weakness. Their words move like venom in his mind and veins, eating away at him.

Teachers drone like white noise to Jay as the days fly by. Talk, laugh, sing,  joke, stop, then repeat, that was his life. After all, It was nothing new for Jay to move through each day on an autopilot.  He smiles like nothing is wrong, everything is perfect, just hide, hide, hide. Hide each red line with long sleeves and sweet lies. He'll say he's just got a bruise and no one will see the pain inside. 

They always say you should be the real you, but the who should you be when people hate who you are. He knows it's not his attitude, it's just him. His smile, his eyes, his words, he has it all wrong. Nothing in him shows the truth, for the truth, is buried deep inside him, X marks the spot, a chest of fears. 

Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind, so why did he feel so alone? Adopted is a synonym for abandoned in the young teen's mind, before his new parents who were there? To him, there was no one, no faces, and no names, nothing. Now, where were, his parents as he struggled? They were right in front of him, arms open wide, smiling as he received perfection, but at a cost.

Jay could see it right there small, harmless, beautiful, a blade.

Bad words can't hurt you if you don't let them, and to those around him, it was the truth. 

But.....

Good words can't help you if you can't believe them.

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Well, that was depressing to write, and I love Jay. I really do, but ya'll have to admit he has a lot of insecurities making him perfect for this role. Please don't kill me. :' 3

On a more positive note, I'm halfway done with my freshman year and have managed to hold onto a  4.0 GPA, so yay.