Ninja Zombie Princess
Alex raced across the parking lot, thundered up the stairs to his apartment, and flung open the door.
"Kiara! Where's the form?"
His niece was curled up on the couch with her portable game console. She didn't look up.
Wheezing, Alex jogged across the room and waved a hand between the girl's face and the screen.
Kiara slid one side of her headphones back and raised an eyebrow.
At thirteen, she was tiny enough to be mistaken for a fifth grader and about 90 percent hair. Her pink braid could--and did--double as a whip.
Not on him, though. At least not yet.
"You ran all the way here dressed like that?" she sniffed.
Alex patted the front of his potato costume. Today's gig was a skit to encourage preschoolers to eat fresh fruits and vegetables. It was his first time seeing someone throw a tomato AT a tomato.
So yeah, he looked like that guy on Beach Wonderland ... served with sour cream and chives
It's what pays our rent, kid.
"I ran into Mrs. Hollander outside the school," he said, catching his breath. "She says you can still go on the Splash Paradise trip if we pay by six o'clock."
He pulled his phone and wallet from his messenger bag. "I filled out most of the form, but you need to pick a lunch option."
Kiara's eyes returned to her screen, her fingers flying. "I'm not going."
Alex sighed and dropped to the couch. This was exactly what he'd feared.
When he finished college last year, he'd moved to New York to launch a Broadway career ... one that began with slinging pizzas and singing Sinatra at the Holiday Inn.
Then came that phone call on a sunny Saturday afternoon at the skate park. The only words he registered were "trucker," "too late," "Maya," "Giorgio." And of course "sorry."
As his mother would say, Don't just say you're sorry. Make it right.
But what did "right" mean to the girl his sister left behind? She'd been so desperate to finish middle school here that he'd offered to keep her for a year and a half.
Then she proceeded to do just what she was doing now. Headphones on, head down, feet on the coffee table, game console on her knees. She ate nothing but corn dogs for three months. As for getting her to sleep before dawn--when he tried, she complained to his mom.
Let the child grieve in her own way, she'd said.
But this wasn't who she was. In the beforetimes, she'd covered her bedroom mirror in so many photos of friends that it was ... kind of creepy, actually. He couldn't abide by so many eyes in his room. Still, it was a normal tween girl thing, right? And she and Maya made friendship bracelets and painted Easter eggs and hosted slumber parties.
Alex hadn't been able to tempt her with painting pottery or yodeling with goats. In the end, he'd just glumly paid for Dragon Kingdom VII and Revenge of the Ninja Zombie Princess.
Now it was the last class trip of eighth grade. She'd graduate next week and head to Gran and Pop-pop's in Lansing for high school.
She'd even mentioned Splash Paradise once or twice over the past few weeks. He'd brightened right away, thinking she was starting to show signs of life.
And now this.
He rubbed his forehead and sighed. "Why not just go and see how it is? If you want to come home, just call me."
"No, thank you," she said cooly.
"It's just that you seemed excited about it a few days ago. You were going to send me the permission form, remember?"
She frowned and began pushing buttons at double speed.
He hesitated. "If you think cost is an issue, don't worry about it. I know your parents would've wanted you to--"
Kiara turned to face him. He broke off. Her face was like a possessed child's in an old horror movie: where their eyes rolled back in their heads and they started speaking in tongues.
"Kiara?" His voice cracked.
"Yes, Lucky." He hated his childhood nickname and she clearly knew it. "Something did happen: a two-ton truck. They had to cut off my dad's arm to get his body out of the wreckage. And my mom..."
She took a ragged breath and went on. "Don't pretend you know what my parents would want. You're a terrible actor."
With that, she fled into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. A moment later, the lock turned.
Alex sank into the couch and stared blankly ahead of him. The jewel case for the game Revenge of the Ninja Zombie Princess lay on the coffee table.
The tagline was, "Wielding justice in her beautiful dead hands."
He didn't even want to begin to psychoanalyze that. Looking away, his eyes fell instead on the silver photo frame on the end table. Kiara had turned it to face the wall, but Alex knew the picture well. He'd arrived to take her trick-or-treating when her parents snuck up behind him in ghost costumes and yelled, "BOO!"
The sheer terror in his face was deeply embarrassing. How Maya had laughed! And Kiara--who'd been very shy as a toddler--had cheerfully taken his hand and announced that she would protect him.
Maya always knew what to do to bring people together. Now that she was gone, they'd all zoomed apart like moons that lost their planet.
What do I do now, Maya? How can I reach her? If I don't ... I think I'll lose her too.
By the time he went to sleep, Kiara still hadn't emerged from his room.
* * *
The alien robots kept coming. Silver and leggy like giant chrome-plated spiders, they skittered over the palace ruins. Webs covered the places they'd been--webs of death that lulled humans to sleep until the robots could return and consume them.
Only one creature could resist that sleep: the NINJA ZOMBIES!!!
Somehow Alex felt certain those words came in all caps with extra exclamation points.
He was desperately seeking something in those palace ruins. Something warm and squishy and pulsing with blood. Brains: a zombie's favorite meal.
Kneeling in the rubble, he hurled rocks right and left. Soon he uncovered a pale, feminine foot. Scrabbling faster, he'd just come to the knee when a spider stepped in to block him.
Oh, no you don't. This is my human.
Alex pulled his curved sword from his belt and, with a blood-curdling yell, slashed at the spider.
But the blade bounced right off it. The recoil sent a massive jolt of pain through his arm and left him sprawled on his back on the stones.
Then a spider crawled atop him. Spiders didn't usually care about zombies like him. But when a zombie got in the way of dinner, they became dinner.
Alex dug frantically in the pouches at his waist. Some kind of powder? Was this poison? Did poison even work on alien robot spiders?
The spider bared its fangs and began lowering them to his chest.
Alex squirmed, but the spider's leg pinned him down with the weight of a compact car.
I can't die here. There was something I needed to do. Something I wanted more than BRAIIIINS.
The will to live surged through him. In a voice that once filled the entire auditorium of Bradbury High, he sang:
There's a saying old
Says that love is blind
Still we're often told
"Seek and ye shall find"
So I'm going to seek
A certain lass I've had in mind
The spider paused. Then it ripped open Alex's tunic with its fangs. Alex wriggled helplessly as the spider lowered its head to feed.
Then--KERSPLASH!
Someone had thrown a bucket of water over the spider. The robot fizzled and sizzled, throwing blue sparks. Then it emitted a high screech and toppled over, legs in the air.
Alex sat up, wiping his face with the back of his hand. A young zombie stood before him in pink robes with a ribbon in her long black hair. All manners of weapons dangled from her belt--throwing stars, hand claws, metal fans.
He relaxed instantly. Zombies were good. Safe.
That was when the girl dumped the rest of the bucket on him.
"You idiot!" she cried. "Who sings showtunes to alien robot spiders?"
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and squinted up at her. "What else would I sing? Just because it's got eight legs doesn't mean it has poor taste."
Shaking her head, she threw down her bucket and helped him to his feet. "Stop trying to be funny. We've got to save the princess and get out of here."
"Princess?" he said blankly.
She pointed at the leg he'd uncovered from the rubble. "That's totally the point of the game. Fight your zombie instincts and protect the last of the humans."
Her voice was familiar. His rumbling stomach grew quiet and the feeling from earlier grew stronger.
"Do I know you?"
The ninja girl was already struggling to pull rocks off the princess. He rushed to grab the other side of a boulder, but she waved him off.
"Forget about it," she said tiredly. "What are you even doing here?"
Snacking on humans was clearly the wrong answer. "I--I suppose I was looking for the princess?"
"Don't bother. The princess doesn't need you to rescue her."
Alex folded his arms. It seemed obvious that wasn't the case. "Then why isn't she throwing off the boulders herself?"
A purplish glow radiated from the princess as her shoulders came into view.
"She recharges her powers from the center of the earth, obviously." The girl put one hand on her hip and gave him a cool-eyed stare. "She'll awaken by herself eventually. We're just taking her with us because the last humans are leaving this world."
"Then why won't you let me help you?" he cried.
He pointed to the boulder covering the face of the princess. It came to waist height on him; it was pretty obvious she couldn't move it herself.
"Because you'll disappear!" The pink-robed ninja stamped her foot. "If you rely on a party, they all end up dying. And then you don't have what you need to win solo."
He tried to raise an eyebrow. Ugh, he couldn't do it. "Have you ever won the game solo?"
"I'm almost there," she huffed.
He held up his hands and walked away slowly, waiting for her to call him back. She didn't. Looking over his shoulder, he saw she was sitting on the boulder, shoulders slumped.
"I can't believe you followed me all the way here," she mumbled. "You need to be doing your vocal exercises. Auditioning for something real. Or actually sleeping. There's no point being alive if you don't live."
"I am living," he pointed out. "I'm here with you, aren't I?"
She slid off the rock and turned to him with a lopsided smile. "Yeah, you are." Then, barely a whisper: "Thank you."
That was enough. Alex rushed the boulder and shoved it with his shoulder, It rocked slightly, but didn't move.
Shaking her head with a grin, Kiara came around and helped him push.
He'd wanted to see the princess's face. But all he saw was a brilliant purple flash of light.
* * *
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" Kiara was holding up a purple lightstick in the living room. Alex blinked up at her from the sofa, dazed.
"I found these from last summer. We should light them all up before I go. A picnic on the fire escape, full of light."
"You sure?" He sat up, yawning. "Don't force yourself on my account."
She shoved his shoulder playfully. "Maybe you can't move the rocks, but you make them lighter."
With that, she set the light stick in a glass on the table and sat down beside him. Together, they quietly watched it glow.
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